


Our Little Secret

by eu4oria



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Cheating :/, F/F, Fall for each other, Heavy Angst, Longing, Tension, Yves and Jinsoul, Yvesoul - Freeform, Yvesoul Endgame, despite being with people already, its complicated, they fall for each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 140,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eu4oria/pseuds/eu4oria
Summary: When two “married” women come across each other, they can’t seem to deny their obvious attraction and infatuation for each other. Resulting in problems in a society where women being together is frowned upon.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul, yvesoul
Comments: 64
Kudos: 261





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has cheating. Like a lot of cheating.. just a warning. And heavy angst

* * *

Sooyoung had moved to Seoul just a year ago. Her parents sent her off to live there with her now fiancé. She remembered doing everything in her power to get out of the arranged marriage. Purposely getting sick, disappearing for days until she was tracked down once again. Her mother knew he was against it. But they wanted this for her. And it was tradition.

Her mother would always talk about how she wanted Sooyoung to grow up and marry a man who had lots of money. So he could take care of her and give her a life of no worries. Despite that, Sooyoung didn’t mind too much. Her fiancé was sweet, and understanding for the most part. She would call off the wedding over and over again, saying she wasn’t ready. Or complaining about something that would cause her to start over with the design. 

“I hope you’re ready for the dinner later tonight. I have a friend I’d like you to meet.” Her husband Rowoon spoke, fixing his tie. “I have to go and see my parents but I’ll be back in a bit to pick you up?” 

“Yes..” She quietly spoke, looking in the mirror. She really didn’t want to go to another dinner. But it was important to Rowoon. So she figured she’d suck it up and go. Besides, she’d never hear the end of it from her parents if they found out. 

She spent the next few hours getting dressed and putting on makeup. A pretty white dress with a diamond necklace around her neck. Her hand rested on it as she looked at herself in the mirror. All dolled up and pretty for a man. She really hoped this wouldn’t be her fate but her mom had been preparing her for this moment. She supposed she’d go to the dinner, it wouldn’t take long.

* * *

“Don’t worry so much. I’m sure we’ll get along well.” Jinsoul spoke, putting on lipstick. “It’s just a simple dinner. We’ll enjoy ourselves, and be back home before you know it.” 

Her husband of nearly 2 years turned to her with a smile. She was also in an arranged marriage. But she eventually began to deal with it. Her family was royalty after all. She was rich, and so was her husband. She lived in a large home. 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a movie room that was located directly by the game room. If anything good came out of this marriage, it was the unbelievably huge house. Even then, she felt lonely inside of it. 

She loved her husband, but she couldn’t help but feel empty inside. Even with all of this. He kissed her softly on her cheek as she stared off, and she smiled softly as she looked down. “I’ll be waiting in the car.” He smiled, leaving the room. He knew Jinsoul always took a little extra time to get ready. And in his mind, she was perfecting her makeup. He waited patiently in the back of their car, smiling when she got inside.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the dinner. They rented out a venue and had many other rich people attending it. She stayed by her husband’s side, she was obviously eye candy to most people. He greeted everyone before eventually coming face to face with another man. Who Jinsoul immediately recognized as a close friend of his. 

“Good to see you Rowoon.” He greeted the man.

“As is to see you.” He responded, shaking each other’s hand. Jinsoul looked up after purposely avoiding eye contact with most of the people in the room. And she felt her heart stop momentarily when her eyes met those of the woman in front of her. 

She was stunning. Dark long hair cascaded down her back as she wore a white halter dress. She didn’t know why she stared so long. But she was sure she’d never seen someone so beautiful in her life. 

“Oh— this is my fiancé, Sooyoung.” He introduced, and she politely smiled, softly shaking the hand of Jinsoul’s husband. And her eyes finally traveled to Jinsoul’s, a warm smile on her face as she enveloped her hands in her own, greeting her sweetly. Her hands were soft, and she genuinely didn’t understand why she was so intrigued by such a small, basic thing. 

“Jinsoul.” She kindly introduced herself. Sooyoung’s eyes seemed to smile along with her pretty white teeth. Her bone structure and her body was honestly something straight out of a magazine full of models. Sooyoung was surprised by the low sultry voice that left from the woman in the black dress. 

“I assume you know where our table is?” Her husband questioned Rowoon. 

“Of course. Your table is actually beside ours. I was pretty pumped when I saw that.” He laughed, his size in comparison to Sooyoung’s was quite intimidating. They eventually moved to the dining hall, Jinsoul dreading having to speak and greet more people. She relaxed when she could finally sit, eyeing the glass of champagne put in front of her. 

She thanked the waiter pleasantly as she took a sip. Her eyes slowly traveled to the table beside her. Her eyes landed on Sooyoung’s side profile. She was unbelievably stunning, even from this angle. Sooyoung could feel eyes on her. Unsure of who they belonged to however. She quickly looked around with just her eyes, before eventually landing on the girl who quickly looked away. Nearly choking on her drink. 

“Everything okay?” Her husband questioned, and she quickly waved him off. Letting him know that she was alright. It didn’t take long for dinner to roll in. The dining hall was filled with music as the live band played. Her husband had gotten drunk in no time. But Jinsoul found herself unsatisfied by the current environment. So she grabbed her wine glass and walked off. Standing in the main hall where some expensive paintings hang on the walls behind glass. 

Sooyoung spotted her walking off, excusing herself as she made her way out of the dining hall. Jinsoul was eyeing the paintings on the wall when Sooyoung arrived behind her. Holding her own glass of wine. She was unsure of what to say, or how to even get her attention. But her brain found something. As she was eager to speak to the woman. “Enjoying the view?” She questioned, and Jinsoul immediately turned around after she finished taking a sip of her drink.

“Oh!” She smiled shyly. “I didn’t know I had company.” She pointed out. And Sooyoung felt weird at how elated she was, hearing Jinsoul’s voice again. She felt like she hadn’t heard enough of her voice. “I suppose I am… much better than the scenery back in there.” 

“I agree.” Sooyoung’s lips curved into a smile cutely. “I see you’re a part of the royal family.” 

Jinsoul looked away briefly, before responding. “I am.. as well as my husband.” She mentioned, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. “Is it bad that I absolutely hate coming to these?” She eventually brought up. Her heart doing an odd flip at the sound of Sooyoung’s breathy laugh. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. The long dark hair and the rosy cheeks, complimented well by the red lipstick and the expensive necklace around her neck. 

Jinsoul had never seen an angel, but she was sure this is what they would look like. Or so she hoped…

She quickly looked away, feeling herself come alive again at the sound of Sooyoung’s silky voice. Words easily slipping off of her tongue. She turned to her with entranced eyes. “I hate it too.. Rowoon knows I do as well. But he also knows it’s part of the whole marriage thing.. he seems to enjoy them though.” 

_”I would too if I had such amazing eye candy on my arm.”_ Jinsoul thought to herself. Immediately looking away from Sooyoung and scolding herself for letting such a thought make its way into her head. “I enjoyed them at first.. but now it’s just the same ol’ thing. You get tired of it eventually.” She managed to say.

Sooyoung quirked an eyebrow up as she slowly turned her head to Jinsoul. Not exactly making eye contact, but her eyes able to see just the lower half of her body. “How long have you had to attend these?”

“About a year now..” 

“You sound like an old woman who has been doing this for years.” Sooyoung joked, eliciting a laugh from the dark haired girl beside her. Her smile so bright it made her eyes twinkle. 

Why was she even looking so hard? 

“It honestly feels like I have been.” Jinsoul admitted, still laughing at Sooyoung’s teasing joke. “It was fun the first 4 times. But after a while… it’s really nothing new.” 

Sooyoung agreed. “Everyone is just so phony.” She pouted, looking up at the painting of two women. One sitting down in a chair, breast feeding her child while the other seems to be coddling the mother. “I’d rather be at home doing nothing.”

“You sound like an edgy teenager.” Jinsoul pointed out, briefly looking at Sooyoung before walking off to look at the next painting. 

“Maybe I am still one at heart.” She laughed almost jokingly. She moved beside Jinsoul again, this time being able to smell her strong perfume. The smell was intoxicating, Sooyoung didn’t want to move away. Her eyes closed as she relaxed in Jinsoul’s presence. Her eyes moved cautiously. Studying her outstanding facial features from this side view. She was surprised someone hadn’t painted Jinsoul yet and put her up on this wall. Behind this expensive glass protecting it from harm, and thieves. She couldn’t help but find herself infatuated with how perfect Jinsoul’s face was. Her bone structure was extraordinary. 

Sooyoung completely snapped out of her trance once she heard a man’s voice. Calling for Jinsoul with an obvious slur. “Jinsoul!” He called for his wife, and the two girls quickly turned to look at the man. “We’ll be leaving now.” He simply said, putting his shoes back on.

Jinsoul felt her heart sink at those words. She was unsure of why she suddenly wanted to stay longer. Especially considering how she confessed to hating these events not even 5 minutes ago. She sadly turned to Sooyoung, hiding her disappointment with a bright smile and a straightened posture. “I guess I’ll see you some other time?” She questioned, although she hoped the answer to that question would be a simple yes.

Sooyoung smiled gently. Causing butterflies to erupt in Jinsoul’s stomach. She’d never felt anything like it. Never had she ever seen someone so shockingly beautiful that it left her frozen and wanting to learn more. “Yes. It was nice meeting you Jinsoul.” Sooyoung smiled, putting a hand out as the other girl placed her hand in the open one. Sooyoung’s hand was soft and warm, and if it wasn’t for her nagging husband she was sure she would have stayed longer. 

“It was nice meeting you Sooyoung.” Jinsoul said, her voice attractively low.

The ride home was hell for Jinsoul. Her husband blabbered the entire ride there. Drunkenly falling over and slurring. She thanked their personal driver and helped her husband inside. “You’re ridiculous..” She muttered. Helping him up the stairs. The task proved to be more difficult than anything she’d ever done. 

She removed his shoes for him when he plopped down on the bed. And she shook her head as she slowly removed her clothes. 

It didn’t take long for her to remove her makeup. Her eyes trained on the body in the reflection of the mirror. Her husband was fast asleep, as she too would be soon enough. 

\\\

“The Jungs are pretty nice aren’t they?” Rowoon suddenly asked from his spot on the bed. His reading glasses on and a book in his hand. He was quite charming. Extremely smart too. He was a doctor who specializes in cardio. He was often busy, but he always found time for family and his fiancée. 

“They are..” Sooyoung quietly responded, removing the red lipstick from her plump lips. And soon enough she removed the black eyeliner and the rosy blush on her cheeks. When Sooyoung thought of the Jungs, she certainly wasn’t thinking of the man that accompanied the pretty woman to the dinner. No. In fact, she was ashamed to admit to herself that she was in fact thinking of Jinsoul. 

That dazzling smile of hers imprinted in her brain. The feel of her soft skin against hers still fresh on her own. The melodic voice of hers that left her lips whenever she opened her mouth to speak. Her sparkly eyes that twinkled whenever Sooyoung spoke. 

“Sooyoung?” Rowoon called. She turned around to see her husband giving her a confused look. “Did you hear a word I said?” 

She shook her head. “No.. no.. I must’ve zoned out— sorry.” She quickly apologized and he smiled.

“It’s okay… how adorable.” He complimented. “I was saying my mother invited us over tomorrow. Said it was a family gathering.” 

Sooyoung forced a smile on her face. “Oh.. that’s lovely.” 

She grimaced at the thought. It was very clear Rowoon’s mother didn’t like her too much. But anything for money and credentials. It was Rowoon’s father that agreed to the arranged marriage. His mother was half and half on it. She wanted her son to marry someone who was just as rich as he was. But things like that only happened in a perfect world. And as strange as it was. Rowoon actually loved Sooyoung. It seemed she loved him too.

“I’ll need to sleep this hangover off before I even think about seeing any family.” He flipped over in bed. “Come—“ He outstretched his arms.

She moved to the bed slowly, gently relaxing in his arms as he kissed her forehead. 

\\\ 

She awakened the next morning. Blanket up to her bare chest when she slipped out of bed. Getting ready for the day. Rowoon still slept when she slipped out of the room, making her way to the kitchen in the empty home. Their personal chef was in the kitchen, preparing what was obviously breakfast.

“Early morning for you is it?” The woman questioned, watching as Sooyoung took a seat at the island in the large kitchen.

“I’ve got a long day ahead of me.” She responded.

“Ah.. dinner with the parents is it?” 

Sooyoung somenly nodded her head. “What are you making?” She questioned the woman, before she heard a man’s voice erupt through the kitchen.

“Hopefully my favorite dish.” Rowoon spoke, walking with his striped pajama pants on. He wore no top as he grabbed one of the sliced fruits off the counter. Moving to place a kiss on Sooyoung’s cheek. “You’re up early. Nervous about today?”

“I’ve been to plenty of these dinners with your family. Trust me— I am not nervous.” She confidently spoke, and Rowoon eyed her as the woman mixing the pancake batter smiled to herself. 

“Well— my boss called me in for something. So I’ll be back down shortly for breakfast. And then I’ll be off for work.” He left the kitchen in a hurry. Sooyoung relaxed her shoulders now, the woman turning back to face her.

“A handful isn’t he?”

Sooyoung laughed. “He’s not that bad. I’ve dealt with worse. He’s really sweet..” She admitted. A part of her feels like she really does love Rowoon. And another part of her just felt like she was convincing herself she loved him for the sake of her sanity. She was stuck in this after all. She might as well enjoy it to some extent if she didn’t want to be completely miserable. 

“I’d hope so. A handsome man like that could only mean trouble.” 

Sooyoung didn’t say another word.

* * *

“This dress?” 

Jinsoul shook her head while the silver haired girl moved to her closet once again. Returning with a different dress. “This one?” 

“Too fluffy… Chaewon, this is just a simple hangout with friends. What’s the point in getting all dressed up?” Jinsoul questioned, hearing a scoff from her younger sister.

“I’m baffled that you even asked such a silly question.” She turned away, her voice slightly muffled as she disappeared into her closet for the 20th time. When she returned, she showcased another dress. This one was red and much shorter. “You know mom wouldn’t want me just going on in something ugly looking. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Even while hanging out with friends?”

Chaewon eyed her sternly. “You’re the daughter in a royal family for christ's sake… you should know these things.” Chaewon couldn’t deny that she was bitter about it all. Her older sister is her parent’s favorite child. They never said it. But it was obvious. What parent would openly admit that anyway? 

“I just don’t think your friends really want to see you all dressed up just to go to the movies. You’ll look ridiculous.” Jinsoul pointed out, but Chaewon didn’t listen. 

“Remind me to never ask for your help again.” 

“Chaewon…”

“No seriously— all you do is complain about my choices. Don’t you have something else to be doing?”

Jinsoul was quiet for a moment. “Not necessarily… I kind of have the day to myself.”

“Lucas finally let you free from your shackles?” Chaewon joked. 

Jinsoul threw a pillow at her, laughing when Chaewon caught it and threw it back. Things weren’t always so bad in the royal family.

* * *

“Just… relax.” Rowoon said calmly, helping her from the car. They walked up to the entrance of the mansion, the classical music playing inside so loud it could be heard from the front step. There were plenty of cars parked around the area. Mostly expensive looking sports cars, or limos that a family arrived in. Rowoon nearly towered over everyone in the vicinity. So he easily spotted his mother, dragging Sooyoung along with him.

“Mom.” He called out, smiling brightly. As always, his mother had a bright smile on her face when she saw her son. The youngest of his other 3 brothers. But when she spotted Sooyoung, the smile quickly faltered. A fake one forcing its way into view for the sake of her innocent son.

“Sooyoung.” She said, almost with a scowl. Reaching her hand out briefly, their fingertips touching before she quickly pulled away. Turning back to her son.

His father also greeted the two. Shaking the hand of Rowoon and placing a kiss on both sides of Sooyoung’s cheeks. 

His mother immediately cut into the interactions. Grasping the attention of her son. “Your sister is in the kitchen waiting for you. She wants you to try the cake she baked.” 

Rowoon immediately left, so excited he didn’t even bother to tag Sooyoung along. She didn’t really know what to do. Besides the awkwardness between the woman beside her, she was in a room full of stuck up rich people. All of them too entranced in some conversation about something that wouldn’t even matter in a few years. Honestly, probably not even in a day.

She wasn’t a big fan of small talk. It wasn’t really her thing. She felt it was a waste of time. Well.. that was until she met Jinsoul. She found herself talking about tiny things just to hear her speak a little more.

“Cut it out…” She thought to herself, quickly grabbing a drink off of the tray that passed by her. She took a few timid sips as she tried to rid her mind of the woman she met. Why was she even thinking about her? They barely spoke and Sooyoung was captured by her presence. 

Maybe it was the sweet smell of her perfume that drew her in. Putting her under some sort of spell. She was definitely going to need a few more of these martini’s…

The time for dinner had finally rolled around. Sooyoung sitting beside Rowoon at the large dining table. The food being gracefully passed around. Thankfully everyone else in the room had things to say. Keeping the attention off of herself. 

“How is your daughter by the way?” The woman asked someone at the table. Smiling at her as she politely spoke to them.

“Oh she’s doing just fine! She recently started up her own clothing line. It’s going really well for her.” 

Rowoon’s mother smiled, her eyes slowly traveling back to the girl beside her son. “And how are things for you Sooyoung? Surely your musical career is coming along well?” 

Sooyoung froze as she awkwardly sat in place. Her hand held her fork as it was inches away from her mouth. She couldn’t even find the words to speak. Rowoon noticed, quickly speaking up for his stunned fiancée. “She’s working on it. Sooyoung is very talented. She plays for me often.” 

“Is that so? Do you think she could maybe turn it into something else? To perhaps make a name for herself?” 

Sooyoung could feel her anger nearly boiling over. Especially because Rowoon did nothing to help her. He just sat silently as his mother ragged on his poor fiancée. She couldn’t even defend herself. Anything she said would make her look disrespectful. She’d leave a bad taste in everyone's mouths. She felt her eyes slightly watering as her eyes focused on the plate in front of her.

“I suppose not.” She added, adding salt to the wound. Sooyoung quickly stood up, excusing herself as she quickly left the dining room. Rowoon looked at his mother with an unsatisfied face.

“What? I was just curious?”

“You know what you did.” He simply said, quickly leaving to find Sooyoung. She moved into a hall where no one was. Wiping at her eyes as she refused to show weakness. Especially from some old bitter bitch that had it out for her. 

“Sooyoung—“ Rowoon called out, walking over to the shorter girl who looked at him with anger in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked him tearfully.

“Sooyoung…”

“No fucking Sooyoung.” She said angrily. “You let her do this. Every single time… you just let her bully me. In front of everyone!” 

He didn’t even know what to say. “Sooyoung what am I supposed to say? She’s my mother—“

“I don’t care, Rowoon. I’m sick of her humiliating me and you just sit there and allow it to happen. In front of _everyone_.” She sighed deeply when he didn’t respond. Only giving her a dumbfounded look in response to her distress. 

“You know what—“ She started, pushing past him. “Forget it. I want to go home.” 

“Sooyoung wait—“ He grabbed her wrist and she quickly snatched it away. Not even sparing him another glance.

“I didn’t sign up to be someone's personal punching bag. I’m going home.” 

“You can’t leave without the car!” He shouted. He watched as she walked out, nearly going to chase after her until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Let her go. You’ll see her eventually. Come back to dinner.” His mother said, and he silently agreed. His eyes still trained on the door that his fiancée went through. 

Sooyoung walked away from the mansion. The area was hard to get out of since it was quite a distance from civilization. Mainly because of how many acres of the land they had bought. She cursed herself for wearing these stupid heels the longer she walked. Holding herself as the air hit her skin. It was getting quite dark the longer she walked, unsure of where to really go from here. She figured she’d call a cab to take her home. 

She honestly just wanted to sleep and forget this day even happened. She knew this wouldn’t end well. It never did. This isn’t even the first time the woman had thrown shots at her. Purposely trying to humiliate her. Belittling her for not having a job of her own. How could she possibly when she was basically forced into a marriage? Everything revolved around this. She hardly ever really had time to focus on herself. She was too busy dressing up and playing the trophy wife. Attending events with people she didn’t give a fuck about.

She seriously wished her life could just be normal.

* * *

“Can’t believe we’re going to be pulling up to the movie theater in a limo..” Jinsoul pointed out.

“I’m sorry, did you have any better ideas?” Chaewon questioned from the seat beside her. 

“Uh yeah. A normal car for example.” 

“You have a luxurious life… why don’t you take advantage of it?” 

“Because in the end, none of this will ever make me truly happy.” Jinsoul blurted out. 

Chaewon just side eyed her. Unsure of what to say to the somber response. “Then what would make you happy?”

Jinsoul thought for a moment. “I don’t know… maybe just living in a normal house. Like a normal family. Where I don’t have to wear such ridiculous clothes and have eyes on me every second…” 

Chaewon didn’t respond right away. The car was quiet for a moment as Jinsoul sat in her seat, fidgeting every so often. “Well— unfortunately you weren’t born into the simpsons family. So suck it up, and enjoy what you have.” 

Jinsoul scoffed. If only it were that easy.

The universe worked in strange ways. Like for example, in that very moment, when Jinsoul finally lifted her head to look around. She spotted a girl walking on the sidewalk. Holding her dress up so it wouldn’t get ruined on the dirty ground. 

For a second, she was sure the woman looked familiar. Blinking her eyes as she tried to remember where she remembered her from. And in that moment, Sooyoung quickly turned around, looking at the limo that passed by her. Showing her face to the woman inside, before turning back around to go on about her business.

“Stop!” Jinsoul shouted, the limo coming to a halt. Chaewon spilled some of her drink on the floor, her eyes shooting daggers in Jinsoul’s direction. 

“There better be a damn good reason for this Jung Jinsoul!” She shouted as the girl got out of the car, looking in the direction of the woman, who wasn’t too far away just yet.

“Sooyoung!” She shouted, using all the bass she could to project. 

Sooyoung quickly turned around. Seeing the limo from before stopped and a woman standing on the sidewalk looking in her direction. She didn’t know why she felt butterflies in her stomach suddenly when she noticed who it was. Walking over to the woman who stood in place. Her eyes trained on the cold girl wearing a dress. Had she come from somewhere? 

She felt her mouth go dry at the beautiful woman standing in front of her once again. The heels she wore made her just a bit taller than usual. She looked like a goddess of some sort. Her sparkly eyes accentuated by the pretty eyeshadow and eyeliner. 

“God you must be freezing. Come with me.” She insisted, and Sooyoung didn’t hesitate to follow her. She knows it was just a simple gesture, but the hand on her back gently guiding her into the limo caused her heart to stop momentarily. 

She sat back and exhaled. Her feet finally catching a break. It was quiet for a moment before Chaewon broke the silence. “So is anyone going to explain?!” She questioned, getting Jinsoul’s attention. The girl quickly moved her eyes off of Sooyoung, who looked up and caught her for a moment. 

“Oh um— this is Sooyoung. A friend of mine. Sooyoung this is my sister Chaewon.” She explained and Sooyoung gave a soft smile. Although the situation had everyone feeling a little awkward, she preferred this over being back at that house. 

“Hi..” Sooyoung shyly greeted. 

“That dress looks quite expensive… why are you walking out and about?” Chaewon questioned, and Sooyoung cleared her throat. Her eyes shyly looking over to Jinsoul. Feeling herself relax at her soft gaze. 

“It’s a long story. Don’t really want to talk about it.” Chaewon didn’t ask any more questions thankfully. 

“Well, I’d say I have time but unfortunately I don’t.” She looked at their surroundings. “I’m at my destination.” 

“Limo to the movie theaters?” Sooyoung questioned once she realized where they were. Jinsoul laughed.

“That’s what I said!” 

Chaewon shook her head, removing herself from the car. “I’m not explaining myself to you people. I’ll see you soon Jinsoul. Mom wants you to come and see her sometime this week.” 

“Yeah. I’m aware. Bye Chaewon!” She yelled out, just before the door was shut. Jinsoul shifted her seat, sitting across from the timid girl in front of her. She looked as if she had been crying. But Jinsoul didn’t know her well enough to go proding in her business and asking questions.

“Um… would you like to come back to my place?” 

Sooyoung looked up, smiling softly and nodding her head. Jinsoul smiled before telling the driver to take her home.

* * *

“I uh— I hope this fits you… we’re about the same size so..” She handed her the clothes from the other side of the door. Sooyoung’s hand softly grazed hers, sending tingles up her arm. She swallowed hard, smiling to herself when Sooyoung thanked her. Her voice slightly muffled from being on the opposite side of this door between them. 

She went downstairs, quickly making some hot tea for her guest. Sooyoung made her way down the stairs, standing in the main area as she finally got a chance to take in the home. It was… big. She was sure she’d get lost in it, had it not been for Jinsoul guiding her around. 

Jinsoul returned from the kitchen, spotting Sooyoung. “Oh! I was just about to come and check on you. I um… made you some tea. I’m sure you’re cold and all—“

Sooyoung followed her back to the kitchen. The area was large. But it didn’t surprise her considering the size of this house. She sat down, taking a sip of the hot tea and feeling her entire body fully warm up. “Thank you.. you have a lovely home by the way.” 

Jinsoul smiled. “This place? Yeah.. I suppose it’s lovely.” She responded, sitting across from Sooyoung. They didn’t speak much. The both of them sitting in silence. It wasn’t awkward but it also wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world. The silence was deafening at this point. Neither of them wanted to speak first. 

Jinsoul broke the silence. 

“What were you doing out there in the cold?” And she noticed the way Sooyoung’s entire demeanor changed. Her eyes drifting down at her hands, and her shoulders slumped. 

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” She laughed, but it was obviously forced. “Just not really my day I guess.” 

“That’s okay.. we don’t have to talk about it.” 

She didn’t want to pry anyway. They hardly knew each other. This was only the second time they’ve ever met. She scolded herself for feeling so nervous right now. It became a little harder to breathe whenever Sooyoung looked in her direction; and she couldn’t quite understand why. 

Perhaps it was just the fact that she had a beautiful woman staring at her. It was normal to think another woman was beautiful right? To be shy and smitten around them? She convinced herself it was just an infatuation. “Your necklace is very pretty.” She pointed out, her eyes trained on the diamond pendant against her tanned skin. 

She felt her mouth go dry when Sooyoung slightly lowered her shirt. Showing just a little peak of her profound collarbones. Was everything about this woman perfect? 

“Thank you. It was a gift.” She smiled, her fingertips playing with it now as she drank more of the tea. “From a close friend.” 

“It looks quite expensive. Surely they loved you.” 

“You think expensive gifts equate the love you have for someone?” Sooyoung suddenly asked, her eyes trained on Jinsoul. Her gaze was strong, making Jinsoul weak under it. Stumbling over her words as she tried to find the right thing to say. 

“I-I mean, surely someone who loves you would buy you something so expensive.. am I wrong?” 

Sooyoung chuckled. “You are.” She replied, finishing the last bit of her tea. “The price of a gift doesn’t suddenly mean you love the person more. It just means you had the money to do such a thing. But any gift, no matter what the price is should have love behind it.” 

“That isn’t entirely how I’ve looked at it.” Jinsoul said, furrowing her eyebrows.

Sooyoung had to bite her tongue so she didn’t say something out of complete bitterness. She knew it wasn’t Jinsoul’s fault she was raised with such a mindset. “Well, hopefully you receive gifts that have meaning behind them and not just a large price tag to fuel these rich people’s egos.” She spat, and Jinsoul was taken aback by the sudden aggression. Although it wasn’t entirely directed at her. 

She couldn’t help but feel the bitterness behind her words. She quickly changed the topic, seeing the way Sooyoung’s hand clenched around the mug. “What do you like to do?” She gently asked, taking the cup from her hold and placing it in the sink.

“What do I like to do?” Sooyoung questioned. “It’s been a long time since someone has asked me that and actually meant it…” She muttered.

“What was that?” Jinsoul questioned. Giving her full attention to the girl. 

“Music. I like to… play instruments, and sing..” She cutely said, and Jinsoul smiled wholeheartedly. 

“Are you any good?” 

Sooyoung scoffed. “Of course I am.” 

Jinsoul smiled, reaching for her hand. Sooyoung looked down at it, before taking it and looking back at Jinsoul. Her eyes soft as she gave her a warm smile. “I’m going to show you something.” She simply said, walking through the large house with Sooyoung trailing lightly behind her.

She honestly didn’t understand how people could live in these homes like this. It felt so empty. Her home was big as well.. but this was just next level. Jinsoul took them to a door down the hallway. It was closed shut, her hand twisting the knob and flipping the lights on. Sooyoung’s eyes widened in excitement at all of the instruments in the room. As well as a recording studio just on the other side. “Holy shit…” She said exasperatedly, walking over to tap her hand on the drum kit. 

“Do you even play these?” 

Jinsoul looked around, using the tip of her finger to wipe down the dust on one of the instruments. “Haven’t touched a thing in here.” She admitted.

“I can tell.” Sooyoung coughed, and Jinsoul laughed cutely at the face she made. 

Jinsoul walked over to something in the corner. It had a blanket on it, and she quickly grasped it, flinging it across the room. She turned back to Sooyoung who had been looking at other things. Like a kid in a candy store. “Hey music prodigy— check this out.” She called, seeing the way Sooyoung’s head snapped in her direction.

She quickly ran over to her, taking a seat on the bench in front of the piano. Adjusting her fingers to press down on a few keys. She started out slow, and eventually she got her bearings. Her eyes lit up at the sounds coming from the large instrument. Jinsoul smiled at the sight, taking a seat beside the girl. 

“How did you learn to play the piano?” 

She smiled, pressing down on a few keys playfully. “My father showed me the basics. The rest.. I taught myself. I could play with my feet at this point.” 

“Your feet?!” 

Sooyoung laughed. “I’m joking. Sort of.” 

“I’d like to see that one day.” Jinsoul played along. “Play something for me.” She requested, and Sooyoung nodded. 

Jinsoul seemed to have inched closer to her the longer she played. Laughing when she realized Sooyoung was playing the tune of Itsy Bitsy Spider. She felt herself become dizzy by the intoxicating smell of Sooyoung’s perfume. And the warmth from her body radiating off of her as their thighs touched briefly. She nearly jumped away at the jolt of electricity that shot up her body from the slight contact. She suddenly became antsy, wanting to get just a little closer.

Just as their arms touched, and Sooyoung turned to look at her, it was as if the world stopped. They just stared into each other's eyes, unsure of what to say or do. It was a mutual agreement to just stay quiet in that moment. Taking in the brown color of their eyes. Jinsoul was beautiful. Her round eyes made her look insanely adorable. Her nose was perfect and her cheekbones sat high, especially when she would smile.

That damn smile that made Sooyoung’s heart skip a beat. She couldn’t register if they had gotten closer to each other, but Jinsoul was terrifyingly close. Her eyes darted down to Sooyoung’s lips and then back up. She could barely think, her heartbeat ranging in her ears. And suddenly the door flung open, and Jinsoul jumped away. 

Hitting the piano in the process and making one of the lower keys sound off. She jumped even from the sound of that. Standing up and looking at the intruder, who so happened to be her husband. Frantically searching for the words to say. 

“Lucas— you’re back.” She smiled. 

He smiled at her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then turned back to Sooyoung who was also standing up. He just looked at her, and Jinsoul explained. “Long story..” She started. “We were just hanging out for a bit though.” 

“Yes. But I’ll be leaving now.” She interrupted, moving to leave the room.

“What? So suddenly?” Lucas pointed out. “Surely Rowoon wouldn’t mind if you stayed for dinner.” 

Sooyoung forced a smile, feeling her insides churn at the mention of Rowoon’s name. “No it’s fine. I should probably get home anyway. I’ve had a long day.” She explained, and he didn’t fight her any further on it.

They followed her out of the room, Lucas turning off the lights and shutting the door back. Jinsoul hurriedly tried to catch up to Sooyoung.

“Are you sure? We really wouldn’t mind if you stayed a little longer..” 

Sooyoung felt something.. she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. But the longer she stood here staring at Jinsoul, the more she thought about things she probably shouldn’t have thought about. Ever. In a million years.

“I appreciate it. But I really should get going.. maybe another time?” 

“Well I’m going to go and shower. I’ll catch you some other time Sooyoung.” 

Jinsoul watched as the boy walked off, turning her attention back to the timid Sooyoung. “Okay.. another time then. If you um— ever want to like chat or something… I don’t know… I’ll give you my number,” 

Sooyoung handed her the phone, and Jinsoul quickly put her number in. Handing it back and smiling as she placed her hands in her pocket. “Thank you for—“ Sooyoung didn’t know what else to say, but Jinsoul understood, nodding frantically.

“No, it’s not a problem at all. Get home safely okay?” 

“Yeah for sure.” 

“Okay.. bye.” 

“Bye..” 

“Text me— when you like .. get home. So I know you’re safe.” 

“Okay Jinsoul. Bye.” 

“Bye Sooyoung.” She waved off, watching as the girl walked off.

When Sooyoung was out of sight, Jinsoul shut the door. Leaning against it and letting out a deep exhale. She ran her hands through her hair. “What the fuck was that?” She said, scolding herself for her extreme awkwardness. 

That night as she lay in bed, she felt Lucas snuggle up to her. “I didn’t know you and Sooyoung were friends..” He brought up. But there was no bitterness in his voice. “That’s good. I like to see you having friends..” He spoke, obviously about to fall asleep any second now.

“Yeah..” She quietly said, gripping her pillow as she kept thinking about the girl that was in their home not too long ago. She couldn’t get those mesmerizing eyes out of her mind. And she surely couldn’t stop thinking about the tempting lips in front of her. 

“Hopefully she comes around more. I’d love to have her over.” 

“ _Hopefully_.” Jinsoul repeated.

\\\

Sooyoung couldn’t stop thinking about Jinsoul. She couldn’t even explain what happened between the two of them. The tension was far too much at some point. The long gazes. Maybe it was just all in her head. Jinsoul wouldn’t look at her that way. Not while she was married and in love with her husband. 

She was just having a rough day. She was overanalyzing things to keep her mind from the reminder of what happened earlier that day. Jinsoul was a really good escape for her. She was sweet, and for the most part she was really relaxing to be around. To an extent. Not when her heart was racing because of the way Jinsoul smiled, or laughed. The way her breath hitched in her throat when her tongue would leave her mouth, running along her own lips. 

Her cheeky smile and husky laugh. Surely thinking about another woman this much wasn’t normal.. she wondered if Jinsoul was also thinking about her? 

\\\

The next morning the couple shared absolute silence. Rowoon feared that if he said anything, the woman would snap on him. He knew how Sooyoung was. How she operated. She just needed time to wallow in her feelings before addressing them. Sure it was quite frustrating and hard to deal with at times. But it was things he had to deal with if he planned to be with this woman. 

He did love her dearly. 

“How about we go out for lunch today? Just you and I..” He suggested, getting her attention with a persuasive smile. She sighed deeply before agreeing to it. What was the harm in just getting some lunch? She’d have to get over it eventually. 

She figured it would have been nice to just get out and enjoy some food. She was at least allowed to dress in something much more toned down. Her hair blowing in the wind as they sat at a table outside, overlooking the white sands of the beach. Without a word, the waiter came and refilled her wine glass. Her eyes still trained on the waves of the ocean rather than the man across from her.

He got her attention by placing his hand on hers. It was rough, not soft and gentle like Jinsoul’s. 

“Fucking hell Sooyoung…” She scolded herself mentally as she forced herself to hold her fiancée’s hand. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday… you know I would never do anything to hurt you, or let anyone else hurt you.” 

“But you did.. let someone else hurt me.” Sooyoung pointed out. Refusing to allow her emotions to get the best of her once again.

He sighed sadly. “Sooyoung— you know how my mother is. How she feels about us—“

“Then why the hell are you marrying me? Why am I even being put through this shit?” 

He looked around, noticing the volume of her words were getting a few people’s attention. He scooted forward at the table, looking over at her with sincere eyes. “Because regardless of what my mom thinks, I love _you_.”

And for the first time since the proposal, she felt sick to her stomach hearing those words. Not because she didn’t believe him, or because she didn’t love him, but because her mind was being plagued by someone other than him. It felt wrong.. it just wasn’t right. And she was frozen, unsure of what to say. She could tell he was waiting for a response, but she physically couldn’t open her mouth to say anything. 

Thankfully they were interrupted by the arrival of their food. Rowoon thanking the man who brought it gracefully. Sooyoung would come around, she always did.

* * *

“You’re awfully quiet today.” Lucas pointed out, watching as Jinsoul hardly even reacted to his words. He reached forward, gently holding her hand. “What’s on your mind?” 

She turned to him, seeing the love in his eyes the longer he watched her. She seemed in distress, but truthfully she was just thinking about yesterday. In fact, she hadn’t stopped thinking about it since Sooyoung left. She also never texted Jinsoul to let her know she got home safely. It’s not like she was obligated to or anything. But she would’ve appreciated it. 

“Just a little tired I guess.” She quickly lied, removing her hand from his and going back to eating her supper. He could understand that. 

“Well I’m sorry to say you have a busy two days ahead of you.” 

“How so?” 

“Well today— we’re going bowling with Rowoon and his fiancée. And then—“

Jinsoul’s eyes snapped in his direction. “I’m sorry— what?” 

“Bowling. With Rowoon and his fiancée. You love bowling. I figured it’d be nice to get acquainted with them since I’ll be his best man and all for the wedding.” 

Wedding. Right. Sooyoung was getting married to a man. 

“O-Of course. That’d be lovely.” She took a sip from her water, wiping at her lips. “And the other plans?”

“The royal dinner that your family is hosting?” 

“Will they also be there?” 

Lucas quirked an eyebrow. “Rowoon and—“

“Sooyoung.” Jinsoul butted in. “Her name is Sooyoung.” She was getting irritated by the constant referral to Sooyoung. She was more than just some man’s fiancée. 

“Rowoon and Sooyoung?” He corrected himself. “No. Just you and I. It’s a family thing.” He looked at her with confusion, basically giving her that look that said.. ‘You should know these things by now’

“Right..” She quietly said. “I suppose I don’t have to dress like an entitled rich bitch today.”

“Surely you’ll wear that cute skirt that I love of yours.” He winked, and she smiled back. 

But she purposely went against his request. Settling for a pair of blue jeans that hugged her body perfectly. The $5000 white vneck to show off her $1000 necklace. She really wished she didn’t have such expensive things. She knows it makes her sound ungrateful.. but she really didn’t want to live like this. She hated feeling entitled. 

She made sure to put on her favorite perfume. A sweet scent that captured the attention of anyone around her. She didn’t put much makeup on. Just something light, and she didn’t wear bold lipstick. Just a color that matched the shade of her own lips. “Not the skirt.. but sexy nevertheless.” Lucas pointed out when she showed up downstairs. 

He wore black dress pants and an expensive top. They drove in their car this time. Jinsoul didn’t mind. It’s not like she was going to be the one driving anyway. She would laugh at how whenever they stopped at a light, the people on the sidewalks would whip out their phones to take a picture of the orange lamborghini. It boosted Lucas’ ego, but it honestly just gave Jinsoul a laugh. 

They arrived before the other couple did. Getting their bowling alley and a drink or two for themselves. Jinsoul didn’t really plan on getting drunk, and neither did Lucas. He did have to drive them home so he kept it to a limit. His eyes widened as she forced himself to swallow what was in his mouth. “Finally!” He said cheerily, standing up and waving his arms at the couple that looked around confused. They were trying to find them in the crowded place.

The music was pretty loud as well. But Rowoon eventually spotted the man, especially since he was able to see much more than Sooyoung could. “Over there.” He pointed out, dragging Sooyoung along. 

Her heart suddenly began to beat a little faster the closer they got to the couple. Her eyes looked everywhere but at Jinsoul until she was practically forced to see her. “Finally you two are here.” Lucas shook his hand, pulling him into a hug and placing his hand on Sooyoung’s shoulder.

“I’m not drunk. But I figured— why not have a shot or two to take the edge off.” He insisted, wiggling his eyebrows and handing the both of them a shot. “I already set up the game— it’s just waiting for us now.” 

Sooyoung downed the drink with ease, or so she thought. She immediately began coughing, forcing a laugh out of Lucas who tried to hold it back. “That was pretty impressive.” He laughed, and she smiled as she shook her head. 

Jinsoul hadn’t taken her eyes off of the long haired woman yet. Taking in the blue jeans she wore and the black button up top she wore. A few buttons undone as she leaned over slightly. She was taking a peak at the menu, since she was sure they’d be ordering something to eat soon. Her gold necklace falling from her top and her tongue wetting her lips. 

“Jinsoul?” Lucas called again, bumping her this time.

“Huh?” She shook her head, looking at her husband and then back at the other two who now had their attention on her. 

“I said it’s your turn. You’re up first.” 

She turned to the alley, and laughed. “Ah right. Okay.” She nervously walked off, and Sooyoung eyed her. Was she going crazy or was Jinsoul totally checking her out just now? 

She was hypnotized by the way Jinsoul gracefully walked up to the alley with the red bowling ball in her hand. She brought her arm back and let it go, easily getting a strike on her first try. “Wooo!” Lucas shouted. “That’s my girl!” 

Sooyoung grimaced at the last sentence. Watching as Lucas moved forward to take his turn. Jinsoul retreated back to her spot, while Rowoon left the two alone. Moving to mess with Lucas. “That was pretty impressive.” Sooyoung pointed out, getting the other girl’s full attention again. 

“Oh that? No.. it’s nothing really.” 

“Nothing?” Sooyoung laughed. “I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that if I tried.” 

“Do you bowl?” 

Sooyoung shook her head. “Never really had time to do things like this. It’s a bit hectic on my end.” 

“Fair enough.” Jinsoul responded. She tried.. she really really did. But it was impossible to look anywhere else when Sooyoung’s shirt was open like that. Practically begging her to look. Those damn collarbones again, except when Sooyoung turned just a little this time, she caught a glimpse of her black lace bra.

Her breath hitched, and she sat down as she suddenly got lightheaded. “Jesus Jinsoul… what is happening to you?” She muttered. Thankfully Sooyoung hadn’t noticed a thing. Too busy focusing on the two boys bothering each other as Rowoon took his turn now.

“You’re um— up next.” Jinsoul pointed out, seeing the shakiness in Sooyoung’s eyes. 

She’d never done this before. But she made sure to watch each of the others movements. She walked up to grab a ball from the machine. Placing her fingers in the three holes. It was obvious she had no clue what she was doing.

So Jinsoul jumped up, quickly lending a hand. “Here— start off with a lighter ball.” She looked over each of them, grabbing the one that seemed the lightest and handed it to her. 

“Come on baby! You got this!” Rowoon shouted, but Sooyoung could barely hear her as every sound around her had basically become tuned out. Jinsoul was speaking to her now, gently pushing her forward and positioning her body. 

She gasped at the hand placed on her lower back, and the hand on her arm. “Now— you want to try to align it down the middle so it doesn’t land in the gutter okay?” She asked softly, their faces far too close for Sooyoung to breathe properly. She was looking back at her, feeling an unknown emotion clouding her mind. 

“R-Right… okay.” Sooyoung breathed deeply, turning away from her and focusing her attention back on the task at hand. Jinsoul guided her, not too much, but just enough. 

“Now run up, and release the ball.” She said, watching as Sooyoung did just that. She didn’t get a strike, but she knocked down at least 4 pins. And Jinsoul could see the excitement in her eyes when she turned around. 

She’d never seen her smile so widely. It made her heart jump and she couldn’t help but to match the excitement Sooyoung had. “Good job!” Jinsoul smiled, and she was surprised to feel Sooyoung’s arms wrapped around her. Pulling her into a hug. She hesitated to hug back at first, but eventually she did. Placing her hands on her back and resting her chin against her shoulder momentarily.

“They’re getting along well.” Lucas pointed out, fist bumping Rowoon. 

“More drinks ladies?” Rowoon questioned, and they both nodded. Grabbing a shot off the tray. 

As the game progressed, they downed more alcohol along with some food. They became touchier and touchier. But it was subtle. Like when they’d all converse, Jinsoul’s hand would rest against Sooyoung’s thigh. 

Or on her back. Or her head would lean against her shoulder for just a bit. But even in Sooyoung’s slightly drunk state she picked up on what Jinsoul was doing. And yet, she did nothing to stop it. Because she liked it. God she felt so awful because she _liked_ it. 

Her fiancée was right there, smiling at her with the prettiest smile you would ever see on a man, and yet her heart fluttered more when she felt Jinsoul’s head on her shoulder. Or her arm wrapped around her own. 

Surprisingly Sooyoung had won, by about 2 points. But she won regardless. Lucas said her prize was a ‘noogie’. She playfully pushed his hand away when he ruffled her hair. 

Her fingers moving through the silky hair sexily. Or.. at least that’s what it looked like to Jinsoul. It really wasn’t anything, but Sooyoung made it attractive. Smiling and laughing on cue whenever Rowoon would say something. The way she carried herself was quite graceful, despite feeling like she’d vomit any second now from the amount of food and alcohol she consumed. 

Or maybe she just felt that way because she couldn’t bear to see the sight of someone else touching Jinsoul. The woman she hadn’t even known a full 2 months yet.  
Her posture was perfect and her hands rested in her lap as she took quick glances at the woman across from her. Feeling a twinge in her heart at Lucas’ arm around Jinsoul’s shoulders. Although she was upset at herself for even being upset at _that_. 

She excused herself to the bathroom, and Jinsoul originally planned to wait for her. But it seemed she was in there for longer than she expected. So she also excused herself, knocking on the stall that was preoccupied. 

“Sooyoung?” She questioned, and like a flash of lightning, she was tugged quickly into the stall. And pressed against the wall, and her mind went blank when she felt Sooyoung’s hands on her face, and her lips on hers. 

And yet she didn’t stop it. Not even for a second. If anything she encouraged it. Placing her hands on Sooyoung’s head and pushing her further into it. Losing herself completely in the woman in front of her. Her hands moving from her hair, to the exposed skin of her chest. 

The way she felt with Sooyoung right now was more exciting than anything she’d ever felt. And she hated herself for that. What was it about Sooyoung that had her behaving this way? Feeling this way? 

She blamed it on the alcohol. And when they separated, their lips were red from the intense kiss and their chests rose and fell like waves crashing onto the beach. They just stared at each other, in complete disbelief at what they’d both just done. “I-I should probably head back out now.” Sooyoung suddenly said, the shakiness in her voice giving away how she felt about the current situation.

“Y-Yeah.. me too.” Jinsoul agreed, allowing Sooyoung to leave first. She pressed her fingers against her lips, it was like Sooyoung was still there. She hated to admit it, but that was the best kiss she’d ever had in her life. The excitement that surged through her veins was unlike anything she’d ever felt. She felt that kiss everywhere. She became weak from it. 

She fixed up her appearance before returning back to the group. It seemed they were getting ready to go now. “Hey baby— we’re going to start heading out now. Rowoon doesn’t want to stay and get his ass kicked by me again.” 

Rowoon quickly pushed the boy, hearing Lucas laugh as he moved to hide behind Jinsoul. “You didn’t even win to begin with.” 

“Overall— but I beat you and that’s all that matters.”

“You sound like a child.”

Lucas laughed in response. And while the two men playfully bantered, Jinsoul couldn’t take her eyes off of the woman who obviously was avoiding her eyes. She still seemed flustered by the situation. 

It was the alcohol. It was definitely the alcohol.

And it seemed they mutually agreed to never bring it up again. Despite the way they both thought about it when they lay by their sleeping significant others at night. Brushing off their touches unconsciously. As much as they tried to ignore it, things would never be the same again.

And honestly, Jinsoul wasn’t sure if she disliked the idea of that.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

“Surely Sooyoung will be happy to see you again?” Lucas spoke. Jinsoul awkwardly smiled. It had been exactly a month since that kiss they shared. Yes.. she had been counting. She hadn’t seen Sooyoung in weeks. She was busy with family and such. And when Sooyoung was free, Jinsoul was caught up with her family. As well as her husband. 

“I suppose..” She responded, allowing him to place the diamond necklace around her neck. Another stupid dinner with no purpose other than to flaunt wealth. To be quite frank, she was simply tired of it. The only good thing that could come out of this was interacting with Sooyoung again. 

It had been quite long since they last shared a moment together. Let alone been in the same room together. She’d be lying to herself if she denied the fact that she missed her. Her smile. And although their kiss was short lived, the feel of her soft lips were imprinted in her mind and soul. She’d never felt anything like it. So when she arrived at the dinner, located in a slightly remote area, with a beautiful dock to it, her eyes roamed for Sooyoung. 

She was helped out of the limo, cameras flashing as Lucas held her hand. Waving and gently tugging her along as she wore yet another expensive dress. This one a light blue color opposed to her usual white and black. When she got inside, she was greeted by more people. Some familiar and others terribly unfamiliar.

She just wanted to see one person, and it was proving difficult to find her.

// 

Sooyoung stood in the bathroom. Looking directly at her reflection in the mirror. She already knew Jinsoul would be here, so why couldn’t she control her emotions? The second she saw the girl in her tight fitted light blue dress, she excused herself from the group of people she was standing around. 

It’s true. They did agree to not speak of what happened. But it was quite difficult pretending it never did happen. Especially when Sooyoung had to convince herself she was simply drunk when it happened. But there was no excuse for when she randomly thought about her at dinner. Or in the shower, or simply laying in bed with her fiancée. His touch made her feel extremely gross. She was thinking about someone else. Not him. And although she hated it, it’s like her brain just wouldn’t stop.

Rowoon spotted the couple, excusing himself as he took a sip from his champagne glass. “It’s been a while.” He immediately smiled at Jinsoul, who was much shorter than he was. “Sooyoung went to the bathroom. She didn’t look too well.” He informed the two, and Jinsoul couldn’t hide her look of worry. 

“Is she alright? Should I check on her?” Slowly removing her hand from Lucas’. On the verge of darting in the direction of the bathrooms that seemed to have a line of people waiting for them. 

“No need. She just needed a moment to collect herself. She’ll be back soon.” Rowoon assured. “Let’s take our seats shall we?” 

“Definitely.” Lucas placed his hand on Jinsoul’s back, pushing her along as they walked by the abundance of guests. The smell of food in the air. 

When Sooyoung returned, she wasn’t expecting to see Jinsoul at the table she was previously sitting at. Her heart sank into her stomach but there was no backing out now. So she slowly walked over, awkwardly exchanging hi’s with the couple. Lucas held her hand softly, bringing her in for a hug. Whilst Jinsoul simply stared back at her.

“Hi..” Sooyoung said, their hands touching briefly before Sooyoung retreated back to her seat. Pulling it up to the table and drinking from her glass. It was obvious Sooyoung was avoiding her gaze, doing everything in her power to distract herself from the stunning girl across from her. And it was _hard_.

Jinsoul was beautiful. The blue contrasted with her skin perfectly, and her hair was wavy. A different look from what Sooyoung was used to seeing. Although she hadn’t seen Jinsoul much to compare. She felt ashamed when her eyes wondered, taking in Jinsoul’s perfect outline. Jinsoul was blown away by how oblivious the men were to the tension. The both of them getting along well as usual. “We were thinking about having another double date.” Lucas suggested.

“No.” Sooyoung said, without even thinking. 

“What?” Rowoon questioned.

Sooyoung panicked, picking up her glass as she felt Jinsoul’s eyes on her. Piercing through her skin and seeing right through. “There’s no ice in my glass..” 

“I’ll tag the waiter down.” Rowoon kissed her cheek, smiling as Lucas turned his attention back to his wife. 

“What do you think?”

“I personally think it’s a lovely idea. What about you Sooyoung?” She tested, seeing the lost look in her eyes at the question. If this was a cartoon, you’d see the sweat profusely dripping from the girl at this point. 

“I um— yeah, that’d be nice.” She said, still avoiding Jinsoul’s gaze. “I’m sure Rowoon would love that.” She added, sending a look over to Jinsoul. The girl felt her heart ache. 

Why? 

Why did it fucking bother her? She was married, and Sooyoung was well on her way there. Why did she want Sooyoung to so badly want this stupid double date as bady as she did? It’s not like they’d ever go back to the way they used to be. Jinsoul didn’t quite mind, but there was a clear hurdle in Sooyoung’s path. She just wanted to talk about it. See where Sooyoung’s head was. Ask why she even kissed her in the first place and then shut her out as if she started this. 

If Sooyoung could just talk to her, they could move on from this. Jinsoul would step up, but not only did she not start this to begin with. But it seemed Sooyoung was hard to get a grip on these days. Busying herself or constantly staying by her fiancées side. 

“You two—“ Lucas smiled. “So civil with each other yeah?”

Jinsoul gave him a gentle smile before turning back to Sooyoung. “So Sooyoung, what have you been up to?”

“Busy.” She simply stated.

“Busy doing what?” 

“Just.. busy. I am on my way to becoming a married woman.” She ran a hand through her hair, the engagement ring on her finger. Jinsoul forced a smile, feeling Lucas pull her closer to him. 

“Surely you are. Have you started planning it out?”

“Working on it.” She replied, the tension being completely looked over by the man at the table. He was just smiling as they went back and forth. She was sure he was tipsy already. It didn’t take much to get him drunk. 

“If you need help, Jinsoul is here for you. Our wedding was beautiful thanks to her and my mother.” Lucas suggested, and Sooyoung had to grit her teeth. He didn’t know. She couldn’t be mad at him. 

But she could be mad at the way he held Jinsoul close to him like she was his property. How he freely kissed her and not a single person batted an eye at it. The luxurious clothing they had on, catching everyone in the rooms attention. And the way Jinsoul so obviously wore a dress that would certainly catch wondering eyes like hers. 

“To Sooyoung.” Lucas grabbed a drink from the tray as Rowoon returned.

“Huh? What’d I miss?” He questioned, also grabbing a drink with a puzzled look on his face. 

“To Sooyoung, to being the only person who has yet to ask my wife to buy them a new designer shirt.” He joked, and Sooyoung was annoyed. Not exactly at him, but the unwanted attention. It was also sad to be applauding basic morals. She didn’t need Jinsoul’s money, or her gifts. Nor did she need Lucas’ toast to her. But she remained civilized, grabbing a drink and toasting it to them all. She downed the shot, the liquid running down her throat smoothly.

That was the first and final hard drink for her. She knew what happened the last time she had gotten drunk around Jinsoul. And not for any reason. Jinsoul was stunning. Especially tonight under these chandeliers. The only good thing that came out of Jinsoul’s fortune was how damn good diamonds looked on her. The bracelet on her wrist was full of them, as well as the necklace on her neck. Shouldn’t it be a crime to have an eye catching necklace on with a dress cut so low? 

She darted her eyes away, mentally scolding herself once again for falling victim to Jinsoul. Unwillingly so at this point. Jinsoul wasn’t doing anything, and yet she was fawning over her. She hated it. She especially hated that she couldn’t stop imagining just leaving this fucking dinner with her and making out in their car.

She instantly stood up, the abruption turning the heads at their table in her direction. Especially Jinsoul, who noticed how flustered Sooyoung seemed. They made eye contact for briefly 3 seconds, and it was enough to send Jinsoul into a spiral. Missing the brown eyes as she turned her head in the direction Sooyoung walked out. 

Jinsoul didn’t immediately chase after her. Although she was itching to just follow her the second she left. “I’m gonna go and check on her.” Rowoon said, standing up. But Jinsoul stopped him.

“No— I’ll check on her.” Jinsoul left the table, immediately searching for the girl. 

The men looked at each other, and Rowoon scooted a chair or two over to be closer. He couldn’t hear him that well in this crowded area. “She’s been a little off lately.” Rowoon said, and Lucas turned to him.

“Ah. Don’t worry.. girls are like that. Especially when it comes around to tying the knot.” He explained. “They’re full of emotions. But when they see all of that glam for the wedding, it’s washed away.” 

“She doesn’t seem to be into the whole… glam thing. My mom wants to take over the planning for that exact reasoning. She’s also taking quite long. We usually marry a month after engagement.” He explained. “It’s been over 4.”

“You need to be in control of the situation man. Tell her to speed it up, or moms will step in. Easy.” Lucas replied. “And who isn’t into glam? All women are.” 

Rowoon just stared down at his hands as he nervously fidgeted with the ring on his finger. “Sooyoung isn’t…” He muttered.

**//**

Sooyoung stood at the dock. Looking out at the lake as the moon reflected off of it. The wind felt good in her hair as she closed her eyes and took in the smell of the water. For a second she felt relaxed, and then the next, it was back to her heart thumping at the sound of heels on the wooden walkway. 

“This view is very pretty..” Jinsoul pointed out, but she wasn’t looking out at the lake like Sooyoung was. But at the girl beside her. Hair down her back and her side profile stunning her. She’d never seen anything like it. 

“It is.” Sooyoung responded quietly. “I was planning on having my wedding here.” She added, and Jinsoul scoffed. It was obvious she was purposely doing this at this point. Trying to block out what happened as if it would change what happened. 

“Right…” Jinsoul went along with it. “I’m sure it will be beautiful.” 

_But not as beautiful as you_

“Is there any reason you followed me out here?” Sooyoung questioned, not fully looking at the woman by her side. Jinsoul laughed at the question.

“Would you rather I come out here or Rowoon?” 

Sooyoung finally looked at her. But it wasn’t exactly in the nicest way. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that Rowoon was going to come and find you but I came for you instead.” Jinsoul explained, and Sooyoung began to walk off. Her heels hitting against the wood planks loudly. 

“Well you shouldn’t have come.” She said bitterly, and Jinsoul stopped following for a moment. In complete shock by Sooyoung’s sudden attitude. This wasn’t like her. 

“And why not?” 

“Because you’re not my husband!” Sooyoung said, not even looking at her.

“Exactly. So why did you kiss me?” She finally asked, and Sooyoung stopped moving. Turning back to Jinsoul and getting all in her face. Snaring at her in response.

“That happened once and it won’t happen _again_.” She simply stated, as if it was a fact completely set in stone. Jinsoul felt her heart hurting every second that this went on but she couldn’t back down.

“I never saw you as someone who runs away from their problems. And in case you forgot, _you_ kissed _me_.” Jinsoul stated as a matter of fact. “The least you could do is spare the decency of explaining why the fuck you—“

And she was shut up when Sooyoung kissed her. But it didn’t last long, not as long as she’d like. She quickly found herself chasing after Sooyoung’s lips, but she backed away. And she hated herself for giving in once again. But it truly did take all the power in her body to stop that kiss and not deepen it. But god did she miss the way Jinsoul’s lips felt against hers. The way they fit perfectly as if they were perfectly designed just for her. 

“Sorry.” Sooyoung said. “I’m sorry.. this is just wrong.” 

“But you like it.” Jinsoul pointed out, and Sooyoung shook her head profusely. Trying to convince not only Jinsoul but herself as well. 

“No.” Sooyoung said, not even looking at Jinsoul when she responded. Too ashamed to do so. She was sure Jinsoul would see right through her. 

Jinsoul laughed, but she obviously knew there wasn’t much funny about this situation. “You can’t just kiss me and then fling me off as if I’m the one who put you in that fucking situation Sooyoung. It’s not fair. To me. Or to you.” She explained, and Sooyoung shook her head again.

“This is the last time.” 

“Bullshit.” Jinsoul said angrily.

“No I’m serious. We can’t keep doing this. You’re married. And I have a fiancée… we just… can’t.” 

Jinsoul turned away, running a hand through her hair and sighing deeply. “If you really mean that, then walk away.” 

Sooyoung looked up at her with glossy eyes. Seeing how serious Jinsoul was about this all. She felt stuck. This felt wrong, and it was wrong morally, but she couldn’t deny how her body felt on fire when Jinsoul kissed her back, even if it was just for a second. “Walk away, and we don’t have to speak of this ever again.” Jinsoul got her attention again, realizing she had grown quiet again. 

“Sooyoung?!” Rowoon called out, getting the two girl’s attention. And Sooyoung slowly turned to him as he looked at her with relief. She slowly turned back to Jinsoul. 

“I’m sorry.” She said to Jinsoul, walking off and into the arms of her fiancée. She forced a smile on her face, passing by the couple. Sooyoung looked at Jinsoul as she walked by, feeling uneasy at the fact that she hadn’t even said a word to the two of them. And it had been weeks again, since they last spoke.

* * *

“What’s the matter honey? You’ve barely touched your food this morning..” The older woman asked, seeing Sooyoung toying with the food on her plate. 

Sooyoung hadn’t even looked up, not until Rowoon showed up. Her mood instantly brightened up. The woman across from her noticed this, squinting her eyes as she eyed Sooyoung. The man kissing her cheek. “I’ve gotta go to work. But you have a ride to your mom's place in a bit.” He smiled.

“I can drive myself.”

“Honey you know you can take advantage of these wonderful perks you have..” He tried to encourage, but he could tell Sooyoung wasn’t having it. “Fine.” He tossed her his car keys. 

“Thanks. But I want to drive the tesla.” She tossed them back. “The bugatti is kind of ugly.” 

He quirked his eyebrows up and smiled awkwardly at the chef. “Well, have a good day. The Jungs are coming over later.” 

“What? Why?” 

“There’s a football game tonight. Baby do you even listen to me? I told you this last night.” 

She swallowed hard, brushing him off lightly. “You couldn’t just go over to their place?” She questioned. She had done a damn good job at avoiding Jinsoul. Why was her fiancée so keen on seeing Lucas. Did he not have any other friends? It was frustrating. 

“No. Lucas wants to see the new $2000 3D tv I just bought. Seriously it’s cool, you should check it out.” He said excitedly. “Anyways. I’ve gotta go. Tell mom I said hi.” 

When he was gone, she sighed again. “Is there something you’re not telling me, young lady?” The woman asked again, cleaning up behind Sooyoung the moment she stood up from her spot. She could see the disapproval all over Sooyoung’s face.

“You’re the only rich person I’ve met who hates me cleaning up after them.” She laughed and Sooyoung rolled her eyes.

“I’m far from rich. And I hate seeing a woman slaving for me and my fiancé.” 

“Honey I get paid well. And through this job, I’ve met someone as lovely as you. So stop stressing yourself so much. I’m perfectly okay.” She smiled, pinching Sooyoung’s cheeks. “Now, I’ve ironed your outfit that you picked out already. Don’t keep your mother waiting.” 

And Sooyoung had no idea what to say to that.

**//**

“Stop it you two!” Seohyun yelled, carrying a pan of bread over to the table fresh from the oven. Sooyoung stepped into the kitchen just as she did. Seeing her younger siblings get scolded a second time.

“Give me this.” She snatched the nintendo switch from the girl, who whined like a bay in return. Her eyes finally met Sooyoung’s smiling brightly. She quickly untied her apron, placing it aside and walking over to Sooyoung. “Oh it’s so good to see you honey.” She hugged Sooyoung tightly.

“Yeojin stop hitting Yerim!” She yelled, turning back to Sooyoung with a smile. “Dinner is practically ready. The table just isn’t set because THOSE TWO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING!” She raised her voice, getting their attention. 

Sooyoung laughed. “No worries. I’ll set the table mom.” 

Whilst her mother took care of the kids, Sooyoung set the table. Completely forgetting why she was upset the entire morning. “I made them go and wash their hands.” She informed Sooyoung as she took a seat. She smiled when her daughter placed a clean plate in front of her.

“How is that handsome boy Rowoon?” She asked, not noticing the way her daughter’s face dropped at the mention of his name. 

“He’s doing fine.” She answered monotonously. “He had work today so he couldn’t be here.” 

“Well that’s alright. There’s always next time.” She smiled, passing her the potatoes. The two girls returned to the kitchen excitedly. Jumping up and down as they took a seat.

“We thought you were never coming back here.” Yeojin said, biting into a piece of bread.

“And why do you think that?”

“Because when people get married they leave their families.” She tauntingly said. And Sooyoung knew better than to listen to her annoying little sister. But that sentence haunted her. Was she really stuck in this forever? 

“Don’t be foolish.” She said to Yeojin. “Honey, don’t listen to her. You can still freely come and see us as you’d like, even after you’re married.” Seohyun reassured her, tossing a used napkin at her youngest across the table. 

“We’re still planning it anyways.” 

“Shouldn’t you already have done that by now?” Seohyun questioned. 

“I’m just indecisive.” She replied, eating the food from her plate. She really did enjoy her mother’s homemade food. She missed it too. Not to say her chef’s food wasn’t good. Food from your mother was just different. She couldn’t explain it. “I still have time.” 

“Well not a lot..” Seohyun reminded her. “I think you forget these things are planned and usually they’re taken care of by professionals. Why have they given you the luxury to do it? I have no idea.” She truthfully said.

“Rowoon asked for me.” 

“How did his mother feel about it?”

“Well she doesn’t like me so why should I care?”

They were suddenly interrupted by a loud disturbance. Also known as her brother Minho. “WOO!” He shouted. “It smells good in here.” He took a seat next to Sooyoung, throwing his arm behind her chair. 

“Hey little sis.” He smiled, reaching over her to grab some bread and put it on his plate. 

“Hey Minho.” 

Seohyun laughed, turning her attention back to her daughter. “Nonsense. What reason does she even have to dislike you? Surely you’ve done nothing wrong..” 

“Except be poor.” Sooyoung said, her words stopping everyone at the dinner table. Minho looked at Sooyoung and then back at his mother, who seemed completely thrown off by her daughters harsh words.

“What is this nonsense you speak of?”

“Oh surely you’re not blind. We’re poor. Always have been. Isn’t this the reason behind this marriage? To be married into a family of money?” 

“You watch your tone, young lady.” Seohyun said with a bite in her tone. Glaring at her daughter. “Everything I do is for the good of this family. I’ve sacrificed so much so you could have food on this damn table to eat.” She stood up, ripping the plate from Sooyoung. Some of it landed on pants, and she backed away from the table. Wiping it off and looking at her mother toss the food into the trash.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Except you did. Sooyoung why can’t we _ever_ just have a family dinner without you causing such a ruckus?” Seohyun questioned, her frustration getting the best of her. It was just irritating having someone like Sooyoung constantly hiding behind her words with such passive aggressiveness.

Sooyoung stood up, slamming her fork down onto the table. “If that’s what you think— I won’t come anymore.” She said, looking at everyone at the table before grabbing her jacket and making a beeline for the door. Just as she was getting to her car, Minho came outside. Jumping down the steps and chasing after her.

He pulled her into a hug, and the moment he did she started crying. Holding tightly onto her brother as the tears started flowing. “I know… I know..” She comforted her, her mother watching them from the living room window.

“Go and finish your food.” She said to the two girls who decided to be nosy alongside her.

Minho used his sleeve to wipe her tears away. Careful not to ruin the tiny amount of makeup she wore. “I know it sucks.” He said, still dabbing his sweater at her cheeks. “But there’s no getting out of this.. and as much as I hate to say it… you can’t keep resenting it or you’ll be unhappy and bitter for the rest of your life.” 

Sooyoung scoffed, backing away. “You try being forced into marrying a man.” 

“Surely the man part isn’t what’s bothering you is it?” He asked, and even though it was an innocent question. Sooyoung felt her heart stop beating and her mouth go dry.

“W-What? No. No of course not.” 

Minho just eyed her, before moving on with what he was saying “It's the being forced into it part. I get it. You rarely know this dude and suddenly you’re engaged and planning to have kids somewhere down the line.” 

Sooyoung nearly vomited at that insinuation. “I’m not having kids.” She stated. “It’s just… Minho I don’t want this. I just want to be here, with you all. But instead i’m stuck in some lonely home with someone I met just this year… it’s just strange.” She explained. 

“Arranged marriages are strange. But not unusual. I hate seeing you go through this but— I don’t have much power over anything.” He sadly informed her.

“It’s fine. I didn’t expect you to be much of a help anyway.” She teased.

“Hey.” He whined. “I’m a pretty helpful big brother.” 

“Only when I’m crying.” 

“And when you need a laugh.” He playfully pushed her, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah.. thanks.” She said, seeing her mother in the window from over his shoulder. “I should probably get going. We’re having company over in a bit.” 

“Okay. I’ll see you soon?”

“Highly doubt it.” He frowned at her words.

“Was worth a try.” He smiled this time, and she smiled back. “Love you little sis.” 

“Love you too.” She said, getting into the car and driving off.

* * *

Sooyoung hadn’t gone home right away. She purposely took the long way home, and stopped by an animal shelter just because. The sun was going down by the time she even got back to her area, the guards making sure it was her as she arrived at the gates. When she got inside, she could hear noise coming from the living. Which meant they were here. 

Sooyoung quietly shut the door behind her, tiptoeing towards the stairs. She quickly went upstairs to take a quick shower, washing her hair as well and putting on some comfier clothes. Just as she was heading to the kitchen, Jinsoul stepped out from the bathroom that was directly by it. Both of them pausing at the sight of each other. 

As always, Jinsoul was stunning. She looked elsewhere when she noticed hickeys around the area of her choker. They were poorly hidden. But there was an attempt at least. “Hi.” Jinsoul spoke first, and Sooyoung fidgeted in her spot.

“Hi.” 

“I um, just had to use the bathroom.”

“I can see that.” They both laughed awkwardly.

“I’m gonna uh—“ She pointed in the direction of the living room. 

“Oh right. Yeah. Um I’m going to go um—“ She gestured to the kitchen and Jinsoul nodded.

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” Sooyoung repeated after her, and they both went separate ways. Sooyoung walked into the kitchen, face palming herself at how awkward that confrontation just was. She wasn’t exactly expecting to see Jinsoul one on one tonight. And she wasn’t sure if she liked the idea of that or not. It clearly didn’t go her way just now however. 

She went into the fridge, completely unaware of the woman who watched her when she came inside. “You’re terrible at hiding your feelings you know?” She questioned, scaring Sooyoung shitless.

“Jesus christ—“ Sooyoung panted heavily, holding a beer in her hand. “I thought you were done for the night.” 

“I am. I’m leaving now.” She jiggled her car keys. “But I happened to see you come in here with that look on your face.” 

“What look on my face?”

“That little sulky thing you do.” She pointed out. “Is she what’s causing you so much distress these past few weeks?” 

“What?” Sooyoung closed the fridge. “No. Of course not.” The woman just laughed to herself. 

“Whatever you say. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled, bowing before heading out. Sooyoung was shaken up by the question. Surely it was just a question. Not that she overheard her speaking to Jinsoul moments before. The awkward exchange between the two. 

Sooyoung went to the living room, leaning against the open doorway with the beer bottle in her hand. Taking sips as the others in the room excitedly watched the game on Rowoon’s new flatscreen tv. Jinsoul noticed her first of course, she was taking quick glances at the doorway waiting for Sooyoung’s arrival. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of Sooyoung. How could someone look so good wearing a crop top and pajama pants? 

It wasn’t fair, and she was sure she’d never seen Sooyoung’s exposed stomach. Her abs on display for Jinsoul to see. Well, not exactly her. But they were there. And she was looking. Unabashedly so. Sooyoung noticed, and she looked down at her own stomach. Placing a hand over it shyly, and Jinsoul looked up at her. Realizing she had been caught, she grabbed her own beer and turned back to the tv screen.

“Sooyoung?” Lucas called out. “Why are you sitting over there? Come and join the crew.” She cleared her throat before walking over to the others. As she was passing by Rowoon to sit somewhere else, he held her tightly pulling her down onto his lap. She was shocked by the sudden aggression, uncomfortably sitting in his lap. Jinsoul felt sick to her stomach seeing that. But she tried her best to ignore it.

Drinking her beer even quicker than before as she turned back to the tv screen. She didn’t give a shit about the sport that was on tv at the moment. But she’d rather look at that, than at the two on the couch. Lucas was intrigued by the tv, not even paying attention to the other two beside him. 

Rowoon was obviously feeling buzzed, kissing and feeling up on Sooyoung. She didn’t say much though, and if anything she allowed it. She doesn’t know why though. It didn’t feel good. Not that it ever really did. But at least it was tolerable. She felt icky. Especially with Jinsoul in the same room as her. 

When Jinsoul glanced over again, she spotted Rowoon kissing Sooyoung all over her neck. And she instantly stood up, quickly excusing herself to the bathroom. “Again?” Lucas questioned, and she didn’t respond. Quickly leaving the living room. Sooyoung pushed Rowoon’s hand away. And left into the main area. She went up to the door that Jinsoul was obviously behind, and she could hear the water running. 

She knocked twice, and the door was immediately opened. Jinsoul walked by her, feeling a grip on her wrist. “Are you okay?” 

“How could you ask that?” Jinsoul questioned, her eyes a little glossy from previously crying. _”Am I okay?”_ She laughed, ripping her arm from Sooyoung’s grasp while the taller girl stood in shock. 

The situation was getting a lot more serious than she thought. Had Jinsoul developed some sort of crush on her? She had a husband though. And they’ve only kissed twice, and nothing more. Surely she wouldn’t fall for someone else and jeopardize her marriage. Someone she’d barely even known for 3 months. Surely she wouldn’t do such a thing, right? Sooyoung felt dizzy thinking about it.

She leaned against the wall, holding her head as it spun. She hadn’t drank enough to be lightheaded right now. Certainly it had to do with what just happened. 

“God what have you done?” She whispered to herself, slowly going back to the living room.

**//**

“Definitely we’ll see each other again.” Rowoon said. “Maybe next time we can watch some group horror movies together.” He smiled.

“Jinsoul’s not into that.” Lucas frowned. “But surely I could convince her to watch. Is Sooyoung into them?” 

The girl looked away from Jinsoul for a moment to answer the man beside her. “Oh me? I mean— I don’t mind watching anything.” She shrugged, smiling gently at him so she didn’t come off as bitchy. 

“Then, until next time.” Lucas smiled, holding Jinsoul close to him. She nearly rolled her eyes at that. But she was in denial. Maybe she just hates PDA. 

They said their goodbyes and up the stairs they went. 

**//**

“Well your brother invited us, why wouldn’t I go?” He questioned the girl that next evening. He was confused as to why Sooyoung was being so angry at him for accepting dinner at her parents place. 

“Because Rowoon— not everyone has great relationships with their fucking parents.” She snapped, and he stood across the room from her. She blinked a few times. “I’m sorry I didn’t me—“ 

“No. You did mean it. And that’s okay.” He said softly. “But you can’t get mad at me for not knowing these things… you don’t tell me anything. How am I supposed to know?”

Sooyoung sighed, placing a hand on her face. She was disappointed in herself for letting her emotions get the best of her. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just— my mom and I aren’t on the greatest of terms right now so..” 

“Then maybe this dinner can give you a chance to fix it.” He explained, placing his hands on her shoulder to comfort her. “Your mother loves you. Fights happen between kids and their parents. So, let’s go to that dinner tomorrow okay?” He kissed her. 

But she didn’t kiss him back. He hadn’t noticed, however.

* * *

Jinsoul woke up that morning with her head on Lucas’ bare chest. She quietly got out of bed, grabbing her scattered clothes off of the ground and going to clean herself up. 

Lucas was still asleep when she returned, getting dressed and putting on light makeup. 

She drank some coffee as she roamed the empty home. Running her hand along the walls. Being in this empty home was exhausting. It truly was. 

She felt bad if she said she hated it. 

Her mother would be over later, so she made sure to mentally prepare herself for the judgment she’d get from the woman. Jinsoul just needed some time outside for the day. To just do something, and talk to someone. Someone that wasn’t Lucas, or some rich asshole she didn’t care for. Or her maids that roamed the house during these early hours. 

**//**

“So why exactly are we here?” The brunette questioned the girl across from her, eyeing the bread on the table. “I mean I don’t mind— free food and all.” She added, finally grabbing a piece. 

Jinsoul laughed, placing her hand atop of her friend’s. “Jungeun I have a problem… I think.” 

“Every time you say you have a problem it has to do with your stuck up rich friends.” She responded.

“They’re not my friends. And this isn’t what this is about.” She assured her of that. “I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Oh so your broke friend?” Jungeun teased, watching as Jinsoul panicked at the insinuation. “I’m just joking. Jeez.. you rich people need to loosen up.” 

“Stop calling me that. I’m your friend. Not some rich asshole okay?”

Jungeun just went back to eating her bread. “Whatever.. what is it you want by the way?”

“Nothing.. it’s nothing really. I just needed someone to talk to. A different scenery. It gets tiring being at home and not seeing friends very often.” She explained. “Hey why don’t you come over to my place sometime?” 

“I’d rather not, to be fair. Besides, your husband is too goofy for me.”

“What? Lucas? No.. he just likes having fun.” Jinsoul defended. “You don’t like him?”

“Now, I never said that. I just think he needs to act his age a little. And he’s royalty. You’d think he’d act like it.” 

“Okay Jungeun stop.” Jinsoul cut her off, seemingly irritated by the conversation at hand. “If anything you’re just like him.”

“So why not marry me?” Jungeun joked, the bread near her lips instantly snatched from her hands. “Jinsoul what the fuck?” 

“I just wanted to talk to someone normal for fuck sakes..” She complained. “About anything.” 

Jungeun could tell her friend was clearly stressed out. There had to be something she wasn’t telling her. She sighed, before scooting closer to the table. “I know we don’t talk everyday, but I’ve known you long enough to know when something is up… what’s the issue?”

Jinsoul sighed. The decision to expose how she’d been feeling weighing heavily on her. She felt nervous all of a sudden. “Well you see it’s not an issue— well it is an issue but it’s like _not_.” She tried to explain, realizing what she said made no sense to the girl across from her.

“That didn’t make any fucking sense.” Jungeun flat out said. 

“I-I know it’s just— Jungeun you can’t say a single fucking word.” 

“Okay. I won’t. I swear on it.” 

Jinsoul paused briefly, before mustering up the courage to say what was on her mind for a month now. “Jungeun I like someone.”

“Like someone other than Lucas?”

Jinsoul nodded, and Jungeun smiled. “Okay, that’s okay. I guess. It depends. Who’s the guy?” She asked, and the look on Jinsoul’s face when she asked that told her everything she needed to know.

“No fucking way.” She said in disbelief, sitting back in her chair with her hand over her mouth. 

“I know it sounds crazy, but—“

“That’s fucking amazing!” She shouted, the guests around them turning in their direction. “Sorry.” Jungeun apologized to them, standing up and bowing.

“Jungeun you can’t say a word.” 

“I won’t. I told you I swear on it. So who is she?”

“I can’t say.. not now.” Jinsoul replied. “And she’s engaged.. to a man.” 

“Does she love him?” Jungeun questioned.

“Surely she cares for him.” 

“So does she know? That, you like her?” 

Jinsoul shrugged… “I don’t know… we’ve kissed twice and I sort of had a breakdown at her place not too long ago. And it was embarrassing but her fiancée was just all over her and—“

“Dude… I hate to break it to you. But not only are you super into girls, but you’re a homewrecker.” Jungeun laughed as Jinsoul tossed a piece of bread at her. “No seriously, just run off with her and get married sometime down the line.” She suggested.

“It’s a little more complicated than that.” She said. “And I don’t think I’m into girls… I just think I’m into her. Ya know? Like when I see her… my heart just stops working properly. My mouth does this weird thing, I stutter, and I stare.” She explained, and Jungeun just watched her friend ramble on about this girl that caught her attention. 

“But I’ve met so many women in my life… so surely it’s just her that has made me this way.” She continued, her eyes twinkling as she spoke about Sooyoung. “I get nervous around her… I don’t get nervous around Lucas. But with her… I get butterflies, and an overwhelming need to just kiss her. And touch her.” 

“Is it reciprocated?” 

“It’s _complicated_.” Jinsoul gently said. “But each kiss.. she’s always initiated them. But she’s so— distant afterwards. And recently we fought and—“

“You sound like a married couple. Dude, you’re into this girl like seriously.” 

“Yes I’ve established that… but it’s just far too complicated. We’re both in situations where it just wouldn’t work.. and morally, this is wrong.” 

“Who cares? As long as nobody knows they can’t get hurt.” Jungeun encouraged.

“That’s a terrible mentality. Please never settle down.” Jinsoul said to her with a shocked look on her face.

“Hey I’m not taking advice from a married woman that lets an engaged woman tongue them down.” Jungeun pointed out. “Look, surely it’s just an infatuation. Have fun with it. It doesn’t have to be a big thing.” 

“This is terrible…” 

Jungeun laughed. “Yeah. But you’ve already started something that you can’t go back on.”

* * *

Seohyun cleared her throat. “So— Rowoon?” She got his attention and he placed his fork down to give her his full attention. “How are things down at the hospital?” 

He smiled, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Umm busy. Especially this time of year leading up to summer and all.” He explained. “People are out and about way more. So of course more injuries and such.” 

“Understandable.” She smiled, hearing a loud thump above their heads. Making those at the dinner table look up at the ceiling. “Those two rascals might end up in there at this rate.” She added, receiving a laugh from Minho, Rowoon and Sooyoung’s father. 

She hadn’t spoken much. A tight lipped smile the entire time and monotoned answers to the questions her parents asked. She was over this already. But at least her mom didn’t seem to be holding a grudge. “Have you decided on the wedding date?” Her father asked, and Rowoon turned to Sooyoung.

“Um.” She cleared her throat. “No. I haven’t actually.” 

“Summer is a good time to have one.” He placed a piece of broccoli into his mouth. “Maybe on a beach somewhere.” He suggested, and her mother cleared her throat.

“Honey.. I’m sure she can make her own decisions. This is her wedding not yours.” Seohyun said, placing her hands on each side of her plate.

“Oh yes! Of course— I’m just trying to help her brainstorm. My little girl is getting married.” He squeezed her cheeks, and Sooyoung forced a smile onto her face. 

“To a handsome man.” He added, and Rowoon smiled brightly at the compliment. He unconsciously placed his hand onto Sooyoung’s and she quickly flinched away, Minho quickly taking notice of that. As his eyes watched Rowoon carefully, who didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Other than a quick glance in Sooyoung’s direction. 

“Well— It is an honor to be able to marry your daughter Sir.” Rowoon said, and Minho rolled his eyes. 

He burped loudly before getting up. Grabbing his empty plate as well. “I’m full. Dinner was lovely mom.” He kissed Seohyun’s cheek, placing his used plate into the sink and grabbing a beer from the fridge. 

He screwed the top off and lifted it to his father. “I’ll be outside.” He smiled, before leaving the kitchen.

It was fairly quiet now. The sound of utensils hitting the plates over and over again. As they finished up their meals. They finished all at once, and Rowoon and her father spoke whilst Seohyun cleaned the dishes. Sooyoung slowly walked up beside her.

“I um— I just want to apologize—“ Her mother shushed her, giving a gentle smile.

“There’s no need for an apology.” She assured her daughter softly. “I understand your frustration. With not only the situation but with me. I still love you.” 

Sooyoung smiled at her words. “Hey Rowoon— I’m gonna go say bye to my sisters and then we can head out.” She said, walking out of the kitchen. 

**//**

Minho sat on the stairs of their front porch, drinking his beer while the sun slowly set. The view of it poking through the trees behind the houses. He heard the screen door open and close, keeping his composure as Rowoon stepped down the stairs he sat on. 

He downed a little more before calling out to the man. “Hey you–“ He said, and Rowoon stopped in his tracks. Turning to Minho with a smile on his face.

“Hey what’s up man.” He said. “Just going to grab the car, I had to park a bit further down the street.” 

“My sister is pretty lovely isn’t she?” He suddenly asked, throwing Rowoon off. 

“Um yes. Of course. Why else would I be marrying her?” 

Minho didn’t like that response much. “Good. She’s lovely. Which means you’ll never hurt her right?” He questioned again, getting off of the steps and walking up to the man. “Or cause her any harm mentally or physically?” 

“Of course. I’d never hurt her. I love her.” He said, and Minho nodded, drinking his beer in front of him.

“Good. Because if I find out you ever so much as made my little sister breathe differently around you, I will make sure you don’t see the light of day.” He threatened, eyeing Rowoon down as the door behind him opened again.

“Love you mom. Love you dad.” He heard Sooyoung say from behind him, slowly stepping away and smiling when she came down the stairs. He hugged her tightly, ruffling her hair playfully. “Will you ever stop doing that?”

“If you grow taller than me I will.” He teased and she rolled her eyes. “Get home safely.” 

She smiled, waving him off and getting into the car. Rowoon took quick glances back as they walked across the grass.

* * *

“Your birthday is in a few weeks.” Lucas poked her playfully. “I know the perfect gift for you.” 

“Really? What would that be?” 

“It’ll be a surprise. But you’ll love it.” He smiled. “Sooyoung’s birthday is this weekend though. Rowoon is throwing her a party.” Lucas told the girl beside him as he shaved. 

”Are we going?”

“Of course we are. You two are like bff’s. Why wouldn’t you go?” 

“You seem to be more into Rowoon than you are into me..” She playfully teased. He turned to her with white shaving cream still on his face. Making Jinsoul laugh in response. 

“That’s not true. You know that..” He laughed. “It’s just nice to have someone you relate to.” 

“Yes. Bonding over expensive 3d television’s. Sounds like the life.” She said, removing her makeup with some wipes. 

So now Jinsoul needed to get her a gift. She wasn’t sure what it’d be though. But she was sure price didn’t matter in this situation. It was more based around what Sooyoung would like. If she even wanted something from her. They haven’t exactly ended things on the best terms. And yet she was ready to run back to her. She wasn’t against seeing Sooyoung. Ever. 

But it was whether Sooyoung wanted to see _her_ or not. It worried her. Things were getting a little confusing and complicated between the two. And she really didn’t want that. 

So for the next few days she searched for a gift. Jungeun beside her as she had her driving them place to place. Looking for a gift. She finally came into a jewelry store, looking over the jewels that glistened behind the glass shelves. 

Jinsoul was too busy looking at them to notice a woman came over to help. “Don’t worry. We got it. Thank you.” Jungeun spoke from behind her. 

“Wait—“ She said to the woman, pointing at the bracelet inside of the glass display. “Could I get that? And yeah wrap it nicely..” She smiled, and while they waited for the woman to wrap it, Jungeun’s eyes almost fell out of her head at the price.

“Jesus fucking christ Jinsoul.” She gasped. “$300 thousand dollars for that??” She questioned.

“What? It has diamonds and rhinestones in it, and it’s real silver. It’s so pretty.” She smiled, watching the woman wrap it excitedly. Placing it gently into a white box, and opening a white gift bag with the company name on it. 

“Rich people.” She exasperated. “I don’t understand you people. I could go into my local dollar store and find something just like that.” 

“It won't be real diamonds though.” 

“It’s the thought that counts.” 

“There is thought behind this.” She defended. “I thought about how pretty it would look on her wrist. She’s quite elegant, Jungeun.” Jinsoul said, as if she was in some lovesick trance. Jungeun couldn’t believe her eyes.

* * *

Sooyoung’s parents arrived at the party, as well asher brother. The younger siblings were over at their grandparents' place for the night. They sent Sooyoung gifts since they couldn’t make it. The house was full of people. Mostly Rowoon’s family and friends more than anything.

“Hi! Whoever made that chicken in there.. did a pretty fucking awesome job.” The girl with bangs said brightly, pulling Sooyoung into a hug. “I got you a gift.” 

“Thank you Jiwoo. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” She smiled, hugging her back.

“You think because I’m a famous producer I suddenly forget about the ones I love?” Her smile was still bright. 

“Isn’t that usually how it goes?” Sooyoung questioned. 

“You have a weird conception of fame and money Sooyoung.” Jiwoo said to her. 

“Possibly.” She spoke just before her brother moved in between the two of them with drinks in his hands.

“You two— look far too sober for this party.” He said, handing them each a shot glass. “Birthday girl, you’re 26 now.” He smiled, and she smiled back.

“And I… am a terrible terrible 28.” He said. “And i’m drunk! Drink up!” 

Sooyoung and Jiwoo both laughed, clinking their glasses together and downing the shot. Both of them grimacing at the strong taste, Jiwoo coughed, shaking her head. “Whatever that is— I think it’s enough alcohol to get me through the year.” She laughed through her coughs, handing him the shot glass back.

She wasn’t fully drunk just yet, but she was definitely tipsy. The shot got her to that point. Minho made it his mission to get her drunk on her birthday to celebrate. Wanting her to have a good time knowing how stressed she’d been. 

They danced and danced, the house full of people. Sooyoung was basically drunk at this point. Too drunk to care about the fact that she didn’t know half of them. She was having fun, the alcohol was in her body, making her feel things she’d never felt. She can’t remember the last time she got this drunk. 

**//**

“We’re so late.” Jinsoul complained, holding her gift and a bottle of liquor in her hand with a cute bow on it. 

“We’re not late. It’s not even midnight my love.” Lucas said, looking over at her briefly and then putting his eyes back onto the road. “Calm down. I’m sure she’ll love your gift. Even though I doubt it’s better than mine.” 

“Shut up.” She laughed, hearing him laugh as well.

**//**

Jinsoul and Lucas stepped inside, and Rowoon spotted them instantly. Sooyoung and Minho were too busy dancing, gathering the crowd's attention. 

“Come in. You’re just in time. We’re gonna start opening gifts in a bit.” Rowoon smiled, grabbing their gifts from them. “And I’ll take this up to our room. So no one takes it. Yeah?” 

Jinsoul smiled, removing her coat and handing it to the woman that waited at the door to greet guests. She followed Lucas through the crowd, a woman seeing them and offering drinks. Lucas gladly took one, handing one to Jinsoul as well. She downed it quickly, coughing as well. “Jesus.” Lucas said. “This packs a punch.” 

“It does.” Jinsoul placed the glass onto a nearby table, walking towards the entertainment room. It was full of people, she could barely see anyone. But she did see someone. The person that had constantly been on her mind for over a week now. 

Sooyoung looked amazing. She didn’t look like someone who had money of any sort. But rather a cute college girl. Wearing tight jeans and a black crop top. A cute plaid shirt on top of it. She was stunning, it quite literally left Jinsoul a flustered mess. 

She didn’t understand how even in this lighting she could see the outline of those perfect abs. And her bright smile as she danced happily. She’d never seen Sooyoung look so carefree. She felt herself smiling just at the sight of her. 

She was so entranced by the way her hips moved while she danced that she hadn’t even noticed Sooyoung was eyeing her from across the room. Minho was too drunk to even realize what was going on. His eyes closed as he danced to the music with a cup in his hand. 

Suddenly they heard Rowoon’s voice. “Okay okay.. it’s time for gifts now. So— everyone, let’s pay attention to the birthday girl.”

* * *

Sooyoung had opened around 100 gifts by now, with the help of Minho of course. There were still a few left. She received many clothes, and pairs of earrings. As well as sneakers and expensive dresses. 

“Okay okay. All of those are nice. But now you have to open my gift. Aka, the best gift of all.” Lucas boasted, and Sooyoung laughed in response. She pointed to one of the wrapped gifts, and Minho passed her it as she wore a cute happy birthday hat. 

Jinsoul couldn’t stop smiling at the sight. Sooyoung’s cheeks were high as she opened her gift, purposely looking directly at Lucas. “Let’s see how good this gift is..” When she took off the wrapping paper, a black box was in her hands. 

She opened it, looking back up at Lucas as he had a huge smile on his face. It was a pair of keys. “And what do these go to exactly?” 

Lucas stood up with a cocky grin on his face. “Those are the keys to a 3 million dollar, 2020, bugatti. It’s red. With leather seats. AND… it has your name engraved in the seats.” 

Everyone around smiled and applauded. Some shouted happy birthday to Sooyoung. “Okay. Next gift.” Minho said, grabbing a white bag and handing it to Sooyoung. Jinsoul quickly recognized it as her gift. And she brought the glass up to her lips, drinking from it nervously. 

“Looks fancy.. like half this other stuff you have.” Minho said, making everyone around him laugh. “Hey my birthday is coming up too.” He playfully said. 

“Yeah, next year.” Jiwoo added.

Sooyoung removed the box from the bag, the name of the company engraved on the top of it. She slowly opened it, her mouth nearly dropped at the sight of it. It was beautiful. It literally shined when she turned it in any direction. Minho stood up to also take a look.

The gift didn’t have a name, but rather a card with words that read. 

_You’re already beautiful. But this will make you even more so._

Her eyes traveled around the guests. As she tried to see who had gotten the gift. “That is one expensive bracelet.” Minho laughed, grabbing it and looking at it gently. Sooyoung caught Jinsoul’s wandering eyes. It was surely from her. She could tell. 

Jinsoul couldn’t explain how many emotions she felt at the moment. But she felt overwhelmed, especially with the way Sooyoung was looking at her in that moment. Her eyes full of sincerity as she slowly turned away from her to grab the bracelet back. She gently put it on her wrist and took a look at the glistening diamonds. She wasn’t big on jewelry or anything expensive. But the fact that it came from Jinsoul was just… different. 

And like Jinsoul said, she did look beautiful. More beautiful than anything or anyone she’d ever seen in her life. The silver brought out her beautiful skin tone even more. They shared a smile before Rowoon jumped up, clapping his hands. “And my gift will be shown to her later on.” He winked, and everyone laughed along. But Sooyoung wasn’t even paying attention to him. She was still focused on Jinsoul. As if she was the only person in the room right now. 

Surely it felt that way. 

They went back to dancing. The party getting hyped once again as if it never even settled down. 

Jinsoul leaned against the wall, watching Sooyoung dance to the music sensually as she drank from her cup. She fidgeted anxiously watching her. Wanting to go over and dance with her. 

“Baby you need to loosen up.” Lucas said, handing her another drink. Her eyes quickly leave Sooyoung and look up at Lucas. He was completely drunk. And so was Rowoon. She could tell, from how sloppily he spoke and walked around. Speaking to their guests.

Jiwoo pulled Sooyoung aside. Wanting to see the bracelet on her wrist. “This gift… it’s beautiful. And these diamonds— surely this caused a couple thousands.” 

Sooyoung looked down on it. “Hopefully not.. but knowing how she is it probably did.” 

“Who?” Jiwoo questioned, and Sooyoung didn’t answer. Her eyes followed the woman that walked across the room. 

“A friend.” 

“I see.” Jiwoo responded. “Wait— where are you going?!” She shouted, watching as Sooyoung walked off and told her she’d be back.

“No worries.” Minho said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “She’ll come back. Let’s dance.” 

Jiwoo looked back in the direction that Sooyoung walked, before turning back to Minho and shrugging.

**//**

“Straying away from the crowd?” Sooyoung questioned the girl that had strayed off to the living room area. Which was a lot quieter than the entertainment room. Jinsoul turned around and felt her heart stop at Sooyoung being much closer now, and in more light. She wasn’t far away, underneath dark lightning, dancing and such.

She was standing in front of her. Smiling brightly, with her shirt open and abs on display. Jinsoul had to force herself from looking once again. 

“Yeah It’s just— a bit loud and stuff.”

“Understandable.” Sooyoung responded, walking over towards her a little more. “I um—“

Jinsoul turned to her briefly, mustering up the courage to look her in the eyes. Her eyes were beautiful, and so was she. “Thank you.. for this gift. It’s beautiful really. Even though I’m not into pricey things.” 

“Don’t worry about the price tag.” Jinsoul whined. “It’s from the heart really.” 

“From the heart? Isn’t that something a lover would say?” Sooyoung questioned, getting dangerously close to her. Jinsoul was drunk too, but she wasn’t stupid enough to realize they weren’t alone here. 

“You’re silly.” Jinsoul laughed nervously, pushing Sooyoung back slightly.

“What? Now you don’t want me?” 

Jinsoul looked at her like she was crazy. Her eyes widened in shock at the question. She was definitely drunk out of her mind at this point. “I’m just messing Jinsoul.” She laughed. “I appreciate the gift, because it’s from _you_.” 

“I figured you’d look really nice wearing it.” She said softly, and she wasn’t wrong.

“You’re beautiful.” Sooyoung suddenly said, caressing Jinsoul’s cheek as she nervously looked around. 

“Sooyoung there’s people around.” Jinsoul whispered to her nervously, watching the people in the room moving around and conversing. 

“Then let’s go somewhere they aren’t.” She grabbed Jinsoul’s hand, dragging her along and up the stairs. She passed by her bedroom and went to the guest room, shutting the door. Forgetting to lock it in her drunken state. 

“Sooyoung… What are we doing here?” Jinsoul questioned, watching as Sooyoung leaned against the door. 

“You said people could see us.. so I simply took us somewhere they couldn’t.”

“But why?” Jinsoul questioned, her heart dropping into her stomach. Sooyoung walked over to her slowly, eyeing her with something different in her eyes. Jinsoul wasn’t afraid, just nervous. She didn’t understand why Sooyoung was doing this. They were both terribly drunk, fumbling up the stairs together and clumsily running into the room like teenagers. 

“Because I want you.” She simply said, pressing her lips against Jinsoul’s and holding her face in her hands. Kissing her roughly as if she longed for this since forever. Their tongues hitting each other and their moans leaving their lips unwillingly as they longed for each other. 

Jinsoul’s hands doing whatever they wanted as she removed Sooyoung’s plaid shirt, still kissing the girl in front of her deeply as her hands ran up and down the smooth skin of her exposed arms. 

She allowed Sooyoung to push her back towards the bed, falling onto her back and having the woman above her. Her scent overwhelmed every part of Jinsoul. Their lips not leaving each other for longer than 3 seconds. 

Jinsoul could feel Sooyoung’s hands running up her shirt, squeezing her boob gently. Almost like she was afraid to do it any rougher. Sooyoung was in awe at how soft Jinsoul’s skin was, how soft her voice was. How soft her lips were. 

Sooyoung removed her top, completely exposing herself to the girl below her. She wasn’t sure what it was anymore. If it was the alcohol or simply just herself finally breaking and giving in to what she has always wanted. 

She didn’t understand why she would deny herself this for so long. Trying to ignore what she wanted so badly. It was impossible to not think of Jinsoul. Even when she so badly hated herself for it. Her mind and body ached for her touch, as if it was the only thing that could keep her afloat. 

She removed Jinsoul’s pants, kissing her inner thighs and shaking nervously as she pushed her underwear aside. Jinsoul was frozen on the spot, she didn’t know what to say or do. She just felt Sooyoung everywhere suddenly. Her hands running up her body and her tongue moving in between her legs. As if she’d done this a million times.

She felt like she was going crazy. Encouraging the woman who moved sloppily down below. It was obvious she was drunk out of her mind. Trying to keep herself balanced as she pleased Jinsoul. Sweet, beautiful Jinsoul.

She’d barely seen Jinsoul that day. So she was finally able to take in how good she looked. The light natural makeup look and a cute sweater with some jeans. Her hair down her back. She looked stunning. But she looked even better, with those clothes discarded, and only her cute sweater on as her back arched off the bed at every flick of Sooyoung’s tongue. 

She was close. And she was sure of it, because she was moaning without shame. Thanks to the loud music, she went unheard. And mostly everyone was drunk out of their minds. Thanks to rich people, they had their ways of getting home. Calling up their personal drivers if they needed. 

Jinsoul held Sooyoung’s hands tightly as she came, moaning out her name in quick breaths. Sooyoung moved to get up, but Jinsoul held her there. Her eyes twinkled with the minimal light that was in the room, coming directly from the window. “A-Again… please,” She begged softly, pulling Sooyoung up to kiss her. “Please touch me.” 

“I-I’ve never—“

“It’s okay.. just, do what you think is right.” Jinsoul slurred, kissing her again and grabbing her hand. Slowly running it along her body. 

Sooyoung nodded. “I-I think we should—“

“Please?” Jinsoul begged again. 

Sooyoung couldn’t resist her. She quickly moved down her body again, using her tongue the way she knew how to. Inserting fingers, and watching the girl above her roll her eyes back. 

Jinsoul felt bad. Not because she was doing this. But because it was better than her own husband. She felt terrible, loving this way more than the sex she’d done with him. How she called out for Sooyoung more than she’d ever done for Lucas. 

How she scratched at her scalp so hard Sooyoung groaned in response from the pain. Using her free hand to claw at Jinsoul’s skin. Leaving red streaks along her stomach and her thighs. 

**//**

“Hey where’s Sooyoung?” Jiwoo questioned the taller man. 

“I don’t know…” Rowoon slurred. Why don’t you go and look for her?” 

“I’ll do it.” Minho stood up, nearly falling back down. “I’ll be back. And then we eat cake!” He smiled, and Jiwoo smiled back. 

Minho checked everywhere downstairs, clumsily falling all over the place. Leaning against the walls for leverage. He finally got upstairs, going from room to room. 

He found the bathroom and laughed, quickly running to use it before going back out to find his sister. He opened a room door, which quickly told him it belonged to his sister and Rowoon. “Definitely not in here..” He muttered, the music still loud as he ventured the top floor. 

He stopped in front of another door, swallowing hard because it felt like he’d throw up any second now. “Fuck I drank too much…” He groaned, putting his hand on the doorknob and slowly twisting it.

When he opened it, he was shocked to see a woman quickly sit up and stare back at him. “Oh my— I’m so sorry.” He apologized, drunkenly reaching for the doorknob again. Sooyoung also turned around, and Minho’s face fell. 

“Sooyoung?” He gasped out. “ _What_ are you doing?” 

“I-I can explain.” She quickly got up, falling back over. Jinsoul reached for her clothes. Quickly putting her pants back on as Sooyoung covered her chest. “Please don’t say anything.” 

He laughed. “Y-You’re my sister… I wouldn’t… ever.” He struggled to say, burping loudly. “But you both should um… g-get dressed. They’re waiting for you, so we can say happy birthday.” He said, before walking off with a slightly wobble.

Sooyoung turned back to Jinsoul, a look of complete shock in her eyes. “It’s okay.” Jinsoul made an attempt to calm her. 

“I should go.” Sooyoung said, putting her things back on. 

“Sooyoung please don’t—“

“We’re going to eat cake.” Sooyoung simply said.

“You’re going to cut me off again aren’t you?” Jinsoul questioned her.

Sooyoung put her plaid shirt back on, fixing the collar and looking over at Jinsoul. “I made love to you.. I cannot simply cut you off after that.”

“Love? We just had sex. That’s all.”

“Your view on anything intimate is quite concerning.” Sooyoung responded.

Jinsoul quickly followed after her. “Then _teach_ me.” She looked Sooyoung in the eyes. The woman looked petrified by the request. Swallowing hard and quickly looking away from those soft eyes that made her want to risk everything. 

She slowly removed Jinsoul’s hands from her. “Let’s go and have cake.”

* * *

They gathered around the table together. It was placed in the center of the entertainment room. A cake stacked 4 layers high, personally customized by her fiancée. 

They sang happy birthday to the girl. Jiwoo cutely placed a birthday hat onto Sooyoung’s head, and used a party blower. Sooyoung forced a smile onto her face at the celebration around her. Minho sang along too, but he watched the two women who couldn’t quite keep their eyes off of each other. Probably still in shock at what they had done. 

Jinsoul swallowed softly, before leaning back into her husband’s touch. All while looking at the woman across from her. 

“I’d like to raise a toast to my amazing fiancée and soon to be wife.” Rowoon said, raising a glass. The reality dawning on the two women once again. Making Sooyoung feel nauseous. 

It all made sense now, to Minho. Why Sooyoung didn’t want this. Well, she never really did. But even more so now. Because she had found someone. Someone that wasn’t Rowoon. Someone else to be intimate with. To give her attention even when she knew it was wrong. 

To be fair, she didn’t want this. She never wanted this. Surely she wasn’t to blame? She was forced into this position. She didn’t do this on her own will. And despite the guilt eating her alive as Rowoon kissed her cheek softly, she wouldn’t take back what she did tonight.

Even if doing so, would spare her a moment of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to say other than it’s gonna get messier :)
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you’d like to follow me on twitter, please feel free to do so. But if you do follow me there, please be aware that I dont really tweet. Its just a twitter to promote my fic and talk about it. So if you follow, please be aware of that! Thank you for reading ❤️


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

“Smile more.” Jinsoul’s mother said, smiling as her father entered the dining room. “Your father would want to see you smiling.” She muttered through gritted teeth 

Truthfully, Jinsoul couldn’t bring herself to smile much when the last time she had spoken to Sooyoung was over 2 weeks ago. It wasn’t right. Her heart ached of something much different. A longing for someone who wasn’t even hers. Even after being drunk, she remembered everything from that night. The way she kissed her. Touched her, and wordlessly claimed her as her own. 

She also remembered the look in Sooyoung’s eyes when she practically begged her to be hers. To tell her she wanted this as badly as Jinsoul did. And she remembered watching her walk out of the room. And wobble down the stairs drunkenly, finding her way to the area where everyone else stood. Drunk and singing happy birthday.

The look Minho, who she’d come to realize was Sooyoung’s brother, gave her when she left with Lucas. A silent agreement on how they’d never speak of it again. 

The way she hadn’t enjoyed a single kiss since Sooyoung’s lips touched hers. 

Nothing had ever been the same.

And it was Sooyoung’s fault. It was entirely her fault. And yet she did everything in her power to deny what she felt for the other girl. It was unfair. To not just her, but to Sooyoung. To deny herself of what she really wanted. And although she couldn’t risk much, she still could admit her feelings. 

“Sit up straight.” Chaewon muttered, while her father took a seat at the end of the table. Keeping her eyes on the plate in front of her. Jinsoul did as she was told, smiling at her parents.

“Where’s Lucas?”

“He had something to do today.” Jinsoul replied to her questioning father. “But surely he’ll be able to join next time.” 

“Hopefully. I’ve always enjoyed his company.” He smiled.

“He enjoys the company of everyone that isn’t us.” Chaewon whispered. “Besides, Lucas is too loud for my taste.” 

“Girls— eat.” Their mother interrupted, looking over at them and clearing her throat. “I agree with your father. Lucas has been a very great addition to our family. We’d like for you to renew your vows later this year as well.” 

“What? Why? We haven’t even been married 2 years and you want that already?” Jinsoul questioned.

“Well what’s the problem? You’ll be with him pretty much for the rest of your life. Surely renewing your vows won’t hurt anyone. And it’ll solidify your love for him.” Her mother addressed the woman, and Jinsoul felt sick to her stomach. Hearing those words when they were anything but true. She swallowed hard and put on a smile for the woman.

“Yes.” Was all she said, continuing on with her meal. 

Chaewon side eyed, hearing the lackluster tone in her voice. 

“And when will we have some grandchildren?” Her father asked, and Jinsoul’s heart stopped. She turned to him with wide eyes as her heart suddenly stopped working at the mention of her having kids.

“K-Kids?” She questioned, nearly in a hushed tone. Her surprise was an extreme concern to the blonde beside her. Who carefully observed her words and body language. 

“Yes. You know one day we won’t be here. The family tree has to go on. The generations. That’s how it works. How do you think you’re next in line to be the Queen?” 

Chaewon scoffed. And Jinsoul noticed, nervously tapping her feet beneath the table. “Y-Yes. Of course.” She forced yet another smile, feeling her appetite completely gone at this point. Her eyes traveled to the clock on the wall, just as dessert was brought out to them. 

“Have you heard the news?” Her father asked, just as a slice of vanilla trifle cake was placed in front of her. 

“What news?” 

“We’re adopting your sick aunt's son into the family.” He informed the girl who was still stuck on the fact that her parents wanted grandkids. 

“Why can’t it stay there?” 

“ _It_?” Her father questioned. “ _He_ will be coming with us. That woman is bound to croak any second now.” He responded, her mother giving him a look of disapproval.

She absolutely hated it here. Her mind just kept straying back to Sooyoung. Wondering what she was doing. Wondering if she was thinking about her too. Wondering if she missed her too. 

“Regardless— we’d like you to come and meet him sometime next week.”

“Hopefully I have time in my busy schedule.” She said, finishing the cake on her plate. 

“Surely you have time to come and see your parents?” Her mother questioned. “That Lucas isn’t keeping you holed up now is he?” Her mother smiled, and Jinsoul cringed at the insinuation. 

“I need to get going now.” Jinsoul said, standing up. 

Her father stood up quickly. “Bow before you leave child.” His voice sternly boomed throughout the dining room. Making Chaewon jump in her spot. And her mother looked away ashamed, seeing her daughter be scolded by her husband. 

Jinsoul bowed shakily. “You are royalty. I’d like it if you act as such.” He said to her, and she nodded quietly.

“Sorry father.” She apologized softly, bowing to him once again.

“I’d love it if you wore the dress I bought you, the next time you show up here.” He said. And she slowly lifted her head, a blank look on her face.

* * *

“Did your dad tell you to put on that dress?” Lucas questioned from the bed.

Jinsoul nodded. “He’d bought it as a birthday gift. He asked me to wear it when I return to their place.” 

“And you’re going there, why exactly?” 

“To meet my new sibling.” 

Lucas sat up. A concerned look on his face. “Wait— your parents are making babies at their big age?!” Jinsoul shook her head.

“It’s more like fostering.” She corrected, touching the ring on her finger. 

“I’d like to meet the little thing then.” Lucas smiled. “I love kids.” 

She couldn’t even deny his forceful self invitation. 

\\\

“Welcome Princess Jinsoul.” The woman smiled, moving aside to allow Jinsoul to step in. Lucas not far behind her as he chatted with the man who held onto his car keys. “Your family is in the playroom.” She guided, pointing in the direction of it. As if Jinsoul hadn’t grown up in this house. 

She entered, feeling like a fool in this puffy dress she wore. An unnecessary $50,000 dollar dress. It was foolish the more she thought about it. 

Or surely it was due to Sooyoung’s constant adorable pestering about the value of clothing and such. She found herself smiling for the first time that morning, the moment immediately being interrupted by a hand on her lower back. And the numerous pairs of eyes on her. Especially coming from the child who had made their way into her family home.

“This is Mark.” Her father introduced, standing up from the couch as he walked over to the couple. Kissing her cheek and moving to shake Lucas’ hand. The boy looked back at her. His bug-like eyes staring deep into her soul. He surely won the staring contest she hadn’t agreed to.

“He’s only 15. So don’t be scared.” Her father teased, bringing them over to the couch. “He’s just playing some game.” 

Jinsoul smiled. “Hello… I’m Jinsoul.” 

“I know who you are. My mom told me about you.” He said, turning back to his game. Jinsoul wasn’t sure what else to say. If anything, she felt stupid wearing this expensive dress. Just to sit here and watch this child play a game. 

“Well, Lucas— would you like a drink?” Her father asked, and she watched as they left the area.

 **//**

Jinsoul sat alone in the playroom with Mark. Her legs crossed as she watched him play some fighting game. She rolled her eyes, sitting quietly while the others roamed the house. Was she a babysitter suddenly? 

“My mom never liked you.” He suddenly said, and Jinsoul was taken aback by the words. Unsure of what to say in response to his words. “But I did.” He suddenly said.

“Is that so?” She questioned.

“You’re the best one out of your family.. the only cool one I would say.” He added.

“Cool?” 

“Yeah. You’re not an asshole like the rest of your family.” 

“ _Language_ ”. Jinsoul scolded him. 

“Sorry. But it’s true.” He laughed. “You don’t come here often, your parents told me so. I wouldn’t either.” 

“You know a lot for someone who has only been here a day.” 

“I ask a lot of questions.” He said truthfully. “Don’t want to be clueless going into a new home and all.” 

“Right…” She said, watching him as he focused back on his game.

* * *

Jinsoul lay on the couch that night. Lucas was fast asleep when she slipped out of bed that night. Nothing felt right anymore. His touches were nothing in comparison to Sooyoung’s. They had sex that night, but as hard as she tried, she felt like she was betraying herself. Her real feelings.

As ridiculous as it sounds, she was completely infatuated with Sooyoung. Everything about her. She drank a glass of wine as she rested on the couch. If faith was on her side, Sooyoung would have finally texted her. But she hadn’t, ever since she got her number she hadn’t. And she never had a real moment to ask for it. She so badly wanted to speak to her at this moment.

To hear that silky voice making its way into her ears and sending chills down her spine. She needed her. And she missed her. 3 weeks without her was far too long. 

She’d been over to Lucas’ family place. His parents were absolutely in love and obsessed with everything about her. Calling her perfect and beautiful. She put on a smile for them, forcing herself through the nauseating talks about having children. She hated that these talks were putting thoughts into Lucas’ head, and it was so painfully obvious. 

She’d have to tell him to put on a condom whenever they did it. And he’d frown. But he complied with her requests. 

She hated the way Sooyoung completely flipped her world upside down. How nothing ever felt the same since she’s gotten a taste of her slight attention. The attention from someone much different than the people she’s grown up around. 

The rush of being with her. Knowing what they’ve done. The kisses they’ve shared. The glances they shared; even when they were across the room from each other. 

The euphoria she felt when Sooyoung was kissing all over her. In between her legs and telling her how badly she wanted her. It was dreamy. Sooyoung was dreamy. And she felt so terrible for thinking so. But she didn’t feel bad for having these feelings. These feelings she couldn’t explain for the other woman. But she couldn’t confess that. She didn’t know what this was. It could be lust. It could be love. She wouldn’t really know the difference. 

But whatever it was, she wasn’t sure her heart was supposed to feel this full or not. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel her heart throb when Sooyoung would smile. Even if it wasn’t directly at her. The way she lost the ability to speak whenever she was around. How it took _everything_ in her to not just kiss her in front of everyone.

She knew better. She knew the risks. And she knew the privilege she had. She wasn’t exactly sure of Sooyoung’s situation. But it was clear, they had _something_. Even if Sooyoung was terrified to admit it. 

Her head was spinning as she thought about the other girl. Smiling as she was in a daze thinking about the moments they shared. Even if they were small. She eventually dozed off, waking up to the soft sheets of her bed. 

Lucas must have carried her up there. She woke up to the smell of breakfast. And when she went downstairs. Instead of their chef cooking, it was Lucas. He was shirtless for the most part. And despite him being quite handsome, it did nothing to her. And she felt _terrible_. Especially when he turned around with that charming smile on his face.

“Finally you’re awake sleepy head.” He smiled, adding a pancake to the stack he already made. “You had a rough night I assume?” He questioned, fixing her a plate and handing it to her.

“Not really…” 

“Are you sure?” He questioned. “I found you knocked out on the couch and the wine bottle we had just gotten was nearly empty.” 

Her head certainly did hurt. The hangover was a bit much. Hard to ignore. “Just couldn’t sleep.” She lied. Although it was sort of the truth. She couldn’t sleep, because all her brain reminded her of was the perfect existence of Sooyoung. 

“Are you sure everything is alright? You can always talk to me, you know?” He said, sitting beside her and giving his full attention. He was sincere, and Jinsoul could tell. She couldn’t stomach looking at him anymore knowing what she’d done. 

She looked at him for a moment before smiling. “I’m fine.. really Lucas.” She kissed his cheek softly, and he smiled. Despite his shock, because she didn’t kiss his lips like she usually did. Maybe she was just going through something right now. She’d come around again. He figured it was the whole having kids talk. He understood how scary it could be. Especially when the royal family you were a part of basically forced it upon you and your marriage. 

“I love you Jinsoul.” He said, caressing her cheek, and she stared back at him. Her eyes became slightly glossy as she quickly looked away. Forcing the words past her lips as if it was the hardest thing in the world.

“I love you too.” She said, turning back to her breakfast that he made for her. 

Because she did love him. But not in the way that he loved her anymore.

* * *

“Hey babe. I’m leaving out now.” Rowoon said to the girl, as she wrapped a present. “Hopefully I’ll be back tonight before it gets too late.” He kissed her cheek, putting on his jacket.

“Have a good day at work.” She simply said, smiling as best as she could until he left the room. Her smile dropped instantly as she continued wrapping up her gift for the woman that ran through her mind. There was no denying they shared something special at this point. 

But Sooyoung had far too much to lose. She couldn’t pursue this. No matter how tempting it was. To be around Jinsoul. To kiss her and touch her, to just simply hear that husky voice that hasn’t left her mind since that night. The guilt slowly ate her alive, but the butterflies she got whenever she saw Jinsoul or even thought about her combatted it well. It was like a gentle reminder that deep down she wanted this.

She’d never shown any interest in any girls, but she also never really showed interest in guys either. She kept to herself for the majority of her life. Knowing this would be her fate. She accepted it long ago, despite trying to rebel against it. It would always come down to this. She couldn’t kill herself, because her siblings needed her.

She couldn’t run away because she was always found. She had no choice but to simply accept what was put in front of her. She never asked for any of this. And in a perfect world, she’d meet Jinsoul. Without any problems or anything holding her back. And she’d care for her. And protect her from anything that could ever cause her harm. 

It's been 3 weeks now and those words that Jinsoul begged to her still haunted her. How could Sooyoung teach her how to love someone? How to embrace feelings and let them wrap you whole until they quite literally suffocate you? There was no learning. Only experiencing. You’ll never get a true grasp on love.

It kills you inside while also bringing out the best in you. Reminding you why you’re there in the first place. Love was painful. But the beautiful moments made it worth it. And she was afraid Jinsoul had never had a beautiful moment in life. But she’d also never dealt with the painful side of love either. It was too much pressure on Sooyoung. To maintain her own feelings and juggling Jinsoul’s feelings as well. 

She could love her. Sure. Somewhere down the line, she could see it happening. But how could she possibly pursue such a thing when she was stuck in this situation? If she left, she’d disappoint her family. She’d get shunned for the rest of her life. She’d be looked down on and spat at. For not only ruining a marriage, but also for possibly being gay. 

She nearly tossed the gift across the room but instead she slammed it down. Her eyes widening in shock at her sudden outbursts. “Jesus Sooyoung… fucking get your shit together.” She muttered to herself, writing something down on a white card to attach to the gift. It was Jinsoul’s birthday this week. She made sure to get her gift. 

She hoped she liked it. She’d enjoy seeing a smile on her pretty face. And hopefully she wore one of those dresses that show off her collarbones really well for the occasion. 

She shook her head. Her thoughts overruling her once again. She didn’t know what to do. 

She also hadn’t seen Minho, nor had they talked. She prayed he didn’t mention that night to anyone. But deep down, she knew he would never do such a thing. He was always loyal to her. And although he loved all of his sisters, being the oldest and also the only son, Sooyoung was clearly his favorite. Their age gap wasn’t huge. So they always related the most. Got along with each other the best. 

She took a deep breath when she arrived at the home. Ringing the doorbell and being greeted by Yerim. “Oh! Mom was just asking about you!” She said cheerily, hugging Sooyoung tightly.

“Why for?” 

“She wants you to try this new sauce she made.” Yerim informed, closing the door behind her. “It’s terrible. But pretend you like it.” Yerim warned.

Yeojin sat on the stairs with her nintendo switch. “It tastes like hot dog water.” She added.

“Yeojin!” Yerim scolded. “You know she’ll kill us if she hears that.” 

Sooyoung just laughed, walking towards the kitchen where her mother was. The kitchen was slightly smokey from the cooking she had done. Sooyoung coughed slightly, getting her attention. “Oh you’re here!” She said cheerily, turning to see her and then back to the pot on the stove. “Your father is going to miss dinner. His job needed him to stay overtime. So it’s just us and the girls.” 

“What about Minho?” She questioned, and her mother didn’t respond, so she pushed again. Asking the question, needing a response. Had she fucked up?

“Minho has a girlfriend now sweetie.” She laughed. “He can’t always come to dinner.” 

“Yeah and I have a fiancée and yet i’m here whenever I can be.” She said, groaning in response. She didn’t want to have to be here with just these people. Minho made these dinner’s tolerable.

“Honey— you’ll be fine without him. Trust me.” She said, placing the food onto the table. 

But she wasn’t fine without him. Her sisters drove her nuts. And her mother had no sort of control over them. And she was constantly reminded of her fiancée every second. She just wanted to leave. She hated this. Everything about it. She didn’t hesitate to leave after dinner. Giving her siblings and her mother hugs before driving off immediately. 

She immediately drove to her brother's apartment. Knocking on the door and seeing a shirtless boy adjusting his pants the second he opened the door. “Sooyoung what are you—“

“Are you mad at me?” She questioned, and he looked at her in disbelief.

“Mad at you? What? Why would I be?” 

She sighed. And he quickly shut the door behind him. “Because the party. I know you saw…”

He didn’t speak for a moment. Remembering that moment even in his drunken state. A moment he couldn’t forget even if he tried. But not because he was ashamed of her. But because he was genuinely confused. “Sooyoung I could never be mad at you.. I just— what if it wasn’t me who caught you?” He questioned. “What if it was Rowoon? Or our parents? You would’ve been fucked.” 

“I know.. I know. It was stupid on my part. I just— god I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” She said, taking a seat on the apartment stairs in the hallway. And he sighed, walking over to her and sitting beside her.

“What’s her name?” 

“Jinsoul.” She replied.

He nodded, taking in the small information she provided. “She’s royalty Sooyoung.” 

“I know.” 

“Which means— she has too many eyes on her. Media… family… outsiders.” He explained. “Are you sure this is something you want to pursue?” 

“That’s the thing Minho.. I don’t know. I just know that… I can’t resist her. And it’s pathetic but it’s so fucking true. She’s so… _dense_ though. She’s everything I hate in a person.” She explained. “But she’s also everything I’ve ever wanted in someone.” Her eyes softened, and he knew she was already too far into this to back out now.

“She’s sweet… and despite her naivety.. She's such a good person Minho. I just— I don’t think this is a good idea. Risking everything for her. What if it doesn’t work out? I’ll be fucking sent off to some conversion camp for god knows how long… I’ll ruin _everything_.”

Minho didn’t have much advice. He’d never been in such a situation. And to be fair, he’d never had a sister of his in a situation such as this one. So he just pulled her close. Leaning his head onto hers. “Sooyoung can I be honest with you?” He said.

“Yeah….” 

He sighed. “You’re in some deep shit here. But if this is what you want.. then why are you holding back on it?”

“Did you not hear anything I just said? Mom and Dad would kill me. I can’t be selfish in this situation. Our family needs this money. I can’t go screwing it up for someone I’ve barely known for 3 months.” 

“It’s not about the timestamp Sooyoung. If you like someone, you can’t control that. That connection you feel.. it’s something. Even if it’s small. And if you want to chase after that, I won’t judge you. I’ll always support you.” He comforted her, feeling some wetness from her tears on his shoulder. “And to be fair… I’ve never in my entire life heard you speak about someone this lovingly. Even to me.” They both laughed as she wiped her tears away.

He gently kissed her forehead. “Everything will work out eventually.. but don’t let fear prevent you from being happy.”

* * *

The moment she stepped inside, Rowoon was leaving from their living room. “Seems like I’m the one who got home early this time.” He joked.

“I texted you that I was stopping by my brother’s place.” She explained, and he laughed.

“I believe you.” He smiled. “But the service in the hospital is terrible.. so— probably didn’t get it. But I’m happy to see you.” He kissed her gently, and her stomach churned. 

But his next words nearly made her vomit all over the floor. “My um— my mom is coming over tomorrow to help with wedding arrangements.” 

“ _What_?” She questioned. “Why? I have it under control.” 

Rowoon turned away from her. “Sooyoung.. you haven’t even picked a venue yet. She wants us to get married when the weather is still nice. Not when it’s cold and we have to have the ceremony indoors.” He explained. “Trust me. She’ll be a big help.”

“She doesn’t even fucking like me. I doubt she’ll even care for my input.” She rolled her eyes, tossing her keys onto the table by the steps. 

“Sooyoung—“ He called out, watching as she quickly went up the stairs.

“Goodnight Rowoon.” She said, and moments after he heard a door slam shut. Making him jump in his spot. The woman in the kitchen slowly made her way out awkwardly.

He waved to her. “See you tomorrow morning.” His eyes trained on her before looking back up the stairs. 

**_//_**

Her anger got the best of her that night. Her eyes wide open until the man beside her had fallen asleep. She quickly got up, grabbing her pillow and grabbing a blanket from the closet. 

She’d much rather lay on the couch tonight. Anything was better than being in the same room as her fiancée right now. Her fingertips brushed against the engagement ring around her ring finger, and she took it off, placing onto the coffee table in front of her. She was tired. She was so tired of it all. And despite loving Rowoon in some sort of way, it surely wasn’t romantic. And she hated it.

She hated all of this. She hated that this was her fate. She hated living in this house with a man who operated as if he lived with his own mother. A scared boy who was thrown into a situation just like she was. Except he had options, tons of options. But he fell for Sooyoung. And surely she couldn’t hate him for that but a part of her just felt nauseated by it all. Had he ever found out about her previous actions it would devastate him surely. The last thing she needed was to break the heart of some rich mama’s boy. 

She adjusted the pillow and pulled the blanket over her body, snuggling in as the fireplace crackled and warmed the living room. 

She had trouble falling asleep, but eventually she woke up to the sound of someone in the kitchen. And the sun peaking through the large windows of her living room. She slowly sat up with one eye open, looking to her left and seeing a mug with steam coming from it. She sat up, placing a hand on her neck from the slight pain there. She must’ve slept wrong that night. She took a glance at the table and her heart fell. Her engagement ring was nowhere to be found. She slightly panicked, looking all around the table area before looking down and realizing it was back on her finger. 

She was confused, but the mug on the table surely wasn’t from Rowoon. But the woman who prepared their food for them every day. She grabbed it, taking a sip and feeling her body instantly relax from the tension it brought upon herself. 

She went to the kitchen and noticed the woman preparing breakfast. Cutting up fresh fruit and letting the eggs on the stove cook. She smiled at Sooyoung’s appearance. Her hair messy, her eyes barely open, and her hand gently massaging her aching neck. “Thank you.” She quietly said, and the woman simply smiled at her.

She sat down for a moment. “May I ask your name?” 

“Well that’s a first.” The woman chuckled playfully. “I am Kim Yongsun.” 

“Okay… Ms. Kim, did you happen to put my engagement ring back on my finger?” She questioned and the woman looked over at her. 

She sighed, placing the cut up fruit into a bowl and pushing it over to Sooyoung as she went to finish the eggs that were slowly cooking. “I did. But I did it for the sake of your fiancée and also you.” She explained. “He’s at work so no worries.” 

“Did he say anything?” 

“He just looked sad when he saw you on the sofa. But he kissed your cheek before leaving out.” That made her feel bad. Maybe she was a bit too harsh. “I’ve been in this business for a very long time, and I’ve seen very few girls like you. But I can tell.. you don’t like this all very much do you?” 

Sooyoung just stared, unsure of what to say. She felt like she could trust the woman. But not entirely too much. She worked for Rowoon after all. Sooyoung was just another addition to the home. “Am I a bad person if I say I don’t?” She softly said, and the woman gave her a tight lipped smile before shaking her head side to side.

“It makes you human.” 

“I just… I never saw any of this for myself. I don’t enjoy this. I don’t enjoy having you cook me over 3 meals a day. I don’t enjoy this huge house and the fancy dinners.” She rambled. “I miss my family.” 

“But you can see them still right?”

“It’s just not the same.” Sooyoung sadly said. “I can’t visit them without them mentioning a wedding or Rowoon. I miss when they actually _cared_ about _me_.” 

The woman sadly looked at her, unsure of what her boundaries were. So she just stayed on the opposite side of the long island counter. “I can’t fuck this up either so I’m just stomaching it all.” 

“Are you sure you don’t like this because of all that comes with it? Or are you in love with someone else?” The woman asked, eyeing Sooyoung so carefully she could tell her gaze was making her cower.

“What? No.” Sooyoung quickly defended. “I just seriously don’t enjoy this luxury.” 

“Is that all?” 

“Yes.” 

“And this Jinsoul girl that visits, surely that’s nothing too?”

Sooyoung quickly stood up, trying to keep her composure. Her heart racing at the accusations in front of her. The accusations that were coming true before her very eyes. She couldn’t deny them, but she couldn’t accept them completely either. Not even if she wanted to. Which a part of her really did. “You know nothing about Jinsoul.” She said, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. 

“I know a lot more than you think. I’m not judging you.. these things happen. I just don’t want you to get too deep into this marriage thing and realize it isn’t what you want.” 

“I don’t want the marriage. But it’s not because of anyone else. It’s simply because I just don’t enjoy this lifestyle.” She defended once again. “So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t pry into my business.” 

Yongsun just stared at her. “If you don’t want this… why don’t you just leave?” She questioned. But it wasn’t malicious, it was genuine 

“Because I _can’t_. My family needs this. I need this.. I can’t bring disappointment to my family once again.” 

“Again?” 

“It’s a long story… but I managed to get out of the last one I was in. We never even made it to the engagement part. I ran away… “ She almost started crying. “My parents still despise me for doing that. Nobody trusted me. But we found Rowoon, and in some ways… he’s perfect.” 

Yongsun encouraged her to go on, pushing her breakfast in front of her that she finally finished preparing for. She leaned in closer as Sooyoung hesitated to speak the next words. 

“He’s just not perfect for me.”

* * *

“Good afternoon Mrs. Kim.” Sooyoung greeted the shorter woman, moving aside to let her in. She gave Sooyoung a nonchalant look, stepping inside and taking a look around as if she’d never been here before.

“Afternoon Ms. Ha.” She emphasized on the “Ha”. Probably because she hadn’t been married into the family yet. “I have other things to do.. so let’s get started.” 

They went into the dining room together where Sooyoung had books out and wedding catalogs. But the woman placed a briefcase onto the table, pulling out her own books. Obnoxiously letting them slam onto the table as Sooyoung flinched with each loud sound. She swallowed hard.

“I’m fully funding this wedding for my son. So surely I’ll make sure everything is elegant as it should be. I have wedding planners already so we don’t need a third party business.” She pushed Sooyoung’s magazines and books aside and took a seat beside her. Moving the chair over slightly to make space between the two of them. 

Sooyoung knew this was going to be a really, really long day. 

_**//**_

“This dress would fit you nicely…” She pointed out, sliding it over to Sooyoung. It was a pretty white dress. “You don’t have much body to work with so we probably wouldn’t need to pay too much for another size.. and you won’t look too weird in it.” She said, quickly taking the book back. 

Sooyoung was stunned by the backhanded compliment. And despite probably being the stronger one in this situation she was terrified. And she felt small under her patronizing gaze and her judging comments. It’s not like Sooyoung had ever really gotten sweet comments from those who were older than her. She was always looked down on. As if her worth meant nothing.

She shook off her insecure thoughts. She hadn’t felt that way in a while and she wasn’t about to let some short pissy bitch ruin that for her. “I’m going to use the restroom. You should start picking out what flower arrangements you’d like for the guest tables.” She said, quickly getting up and tossing a book in front of her. She grabbed her purse too, making a show of it as if Sooyoung would steal a damn thing from that pretentious trainwreck of a woman. The sound of her heels hitting the hardwood floor as she made her way to the bathroom. 

She quickly used the bathroom, washing her hands and checking to make sure her makeup was still okay. She adjusted the suit jacket she wore and made her way out. Her eyes for some reason taking a peak at the living room area. She felt confused at the sight of a woman who surely worked for them, folding a blanket that was on the sofa. 

Her mind only went to bad things. And none of them revolved around Sooyoung possibly being the one who slept there. She huffed before walking off, taking a seat in the dining room again. Sooyoung was still looking through the book, feeling uneasy at the gaze she felt on her. She tried to ignore it, pointing out a few of the options she liked. She just wanted to be civil. She just wanted this to end. She’d never been one on one with this gremlin until now. And she understood why now.

It was quite literally like having a meeting with satan’s offspring. 

“I um.. I really like—“

“Are you making my son sleep on the couch?” She questioned and Sooyoung quickly turned to her, removing her face from her palm. 

“What? N-No—“ 

“Because you have some nerve making someone who is 10x’s more valuable than you and your entire family put together, sleep on the damn couch.” She snapped. “Must I remind you where you came from?” 

“Mrs. Kim—“

“Stop talking bitch.” She angrily said, seeing the fear in Sooyoung’s eyes. “My boy treats you like some fucking princess and I will not allow you to hurt him in any sort of way.” 

“I swear I’m not—“

Her hand raised up as she backhanded Sooyoung across the face. A yelp leaving her lips as she shakily held her hand against the sore area. “If you hurt my boy, I will make sure you’re never happy again. You don’t have much going for you, so it wouldn’t be hard. You are nothing. And you will never be anything. And you certainly don't run anything in this house.” She said, standing up and grabbing her things. Packing up the books and pictures she brought.

Sooyoung still sat in place, stunned as her eyes watered. She didn’t even have the strength to speak at this point. This woman was hitting every insecurity she could find. “I truly have no clue what he sees in you. But his happiness is all that matters to me. And you seem to be what makes him happy. For whatever reason that may be. You’re quite dull and ungrateful to me.” 

“Ungrateful?” Sooyoung shakily questioned. 

“Yes! Anyone else would jump at the opportunity to marry my son. To be with him. And you postpone it all as if you run a damn thing around here. You barely run your own life and you think you’re hot shit?” The woman chuckled with a sinister sound to it. “ _I_ run shit around here. And I say you have until the end of July to figure this all out. Because you’re marrying him in August.” 

Sooyoung choked up at the sound of that. August was only two months away. The woman grabbed her purse and also her briefcase. She looked over at Sooyoung. “Some ice should help with that swelling.” Was all she said as she clicked her heels down the hall and out the door. Putting on a fake happy voice for Yongsun. She assumed that’s who it was. 

Once the door shut she immediately jumped up, running up the stairs and ignoring Yongsun’s calls for her. She slammed her room door shut, and went into the bathroom and locked herself in. She took a deep breath as she leaned over the counter, slowly looking up into the mirror and noticing the bright hand mark there. Her tears instantly fell as she struggled to hold back a sob. She was miserable. She felt like shit. And now the side of her face was swollen and her eye was getting slightly puffy. 

She stayed in there for over 20 minutes just crying every single time she looked into the mirror. She rinsed her mouth and applied some cream to her cheek. When she left the room, Yongsun was waiting for her. “Sooyoung what’s the matter?”

“Get back to work. Rowoon will probably be home shortly.” She said, quickly running down the stairs with the woman chasing behind her. She grabbed Sooyoung’s wrist and noticed the swelling on the left side of her face. “Tell him I went to see my brother.” 

She removed the woman’s hand softly, grabbing her keys and leaving.

* * *

“This place is creepy. I seriously hate rich people.” Jungeun complained as she returned to the living room area with a canned soda in her hand. 

“Creepy?”

“It’s just empty and shit. Like sure it’s filled with furniture but there’s no… homey feeling. You get me?”

Jinsoul agreed silently. “I do… I hadn’t noticed it much though.” 

“You’re brainwashed.” Jungeun replied, bringing the can up to her lips. “There is seriously no way you even use half the shit in here.” 

“Sooyoung likes the music room. Lucas enjoys the gaming room, he invites friends over often. I enjoy the living room area.. and my bed.” 

“Who the fuck is Sooyoung?” Jungeun questioned, and Jinsoul’s heart dropped. She hadn’t even realized she slipped up and revealed the girl’s name to her friend. She immediately sat up when Jungeun started smiling knowingly. “Oooooo…” 

“Stop.” Jinsoul pleaded. “I didn’t mean to say that. God..” 

“It’s fine really. How often is she here though to do that?” She wiggled her eyebrows, making Jinsoul blush madly as she hit her friend in a playful manner. 

“Not very often. But that was the first time someone had been in there for ages. It’s usually just locked up. But she said she enjoyed music so..” Jinsoul explained. 

“Well shit is she good at least?” 

“She’s great..” Jinsoul smiled to herself. “But anyways, Killing Eve is coming on in about 10 minutes. So I’ll grab us some snacks.” 

“No salty shit! I want chocolates!” She yelled out to the girl who quickly made her way to the kitchen area.

_**//**_

They scoured through the snacks as they watched the show. The both of them getting excited and yelling whenever something happened. The episode was almost over when Lucas returned home. He spent time with his family and friends for the day. Which Jinsoul didn’t mind. Alone time was always nice to her. Except by alone time, she just meant time where she didn’t have Lucas up her ass every second. 

He came into the living area and greeted them both. Kissing Jinsoul’s cheek softly and high fiving Jungeun. She reluctantly did it back. Smiling awkwardly as he walked off. “Have you eaten dinner yet babe?” 

“No. I’ve been just eating snacks with Jungeun while we watched our show.” She said, not taking her eyes off the screen. 

“I’ll tell the chef to whip you up something then. Although it’s getting pretty late.” He said.

“Yeah yeah. Go do that.” Jinsoul waved him off slightly, trying to pay attention to the show. He just laughed as he walked to the kitchen.

* * *

It’d been hours since Sooyoung left home that day. She woke up, lifting her head off the window slowly. The entire area around her dark, as the sun had gone down over an hour ago. She yawned, wincing in pain at her tender cheek. Her eye had nearly closed at this point. She looked ridiculous. 

She had no intentions on returning home tonight. And probably not tomorrow night either. She checked her phone, seeing the missed calls from Rowoon. And a text from him. 

They were only recent though. Probably because Yongsun passed the message to him. But it’d been long past that now. Hours had gone by. And it was nearing 11pm and he hadn’t heard a thing from her. She was parked in a grocery store lot, the cars around her slowly disappeared as the day went on. 

She felt numb at the moment. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t reply to Rowoon. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do right now. But going home wasn’t one of her options at the moment. 

She scrolled through her contacts, realizing she didn’t have many people to run to. Further increasing the miserable state she was currently in. But her heart stopped as her thumb hovered over a name that was capable of flipping her entire mood around.

* * *

“Hey babe.” Lucas said, looking down at his phone with furrowed eyebrows. “Have you talked to Sooyoung today?” 

Jinsoul had never felt herself turn her own head so quickly. Her heart sank at the question. Was she okay? “No? I don’t even have her number.” Jinsoul admitted.

“Rowoon said he hasn’t been able to get in contact with her today. She’s been gone since early afternoon.” He explained. 

She quickly jumped up and Jungeun did the same. Turning back to see her friend trying to hide how nervous she was in front of her husband. She could tell Jinsoul was panicking though. “He even called her parents. They said they hadn’t seen her either.” 

“Maybe she’s over a friend’s place.” 

“Maybe.. but she could still let someone know she’s safe.” 

Jungeun turned back to Jinsoul, seeing the worry in her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she’s okay.” She tried to calm her down. Comfortingly rubbing her arm up and down, her eyebrows furrowed as she worried for Jinsoul’s sanity at this point.

“Rowoon is calling right now actually.” Lucas said, turning away and leaving the area momentarily.

Jungeun fully turned around to Jinsoul and gave her a knowing look. “I need you to stay calm okay? I’m sure she’s fine.. maybe she just needed a breather. Everything is okay.” She soothingly said, initiating a hug for the first time between them. She could tell how much Jinsoul cared for this girl. There was no denying that. And there was no way around avoiding how Jinsoul truly felt for this Sooyoung. 

Lucas returned after they stopped hugging. “He’s calling her brother right now.” 

“Please keep us updated.” Jungeun spoke to him, knowing if Jinsoul spoke her voice would shake and reveal how truly upset she was.

“Yeah of course. Dinner is done by the way.. if you guys are hungry.” He said, knowing the situation had definitely shaken them all up. Sooyoung probably was okay. But they didn’t feel too great about it, until they knew for sure. 

Jinsoul had no appetite anymore. Her worry was eating her alive. She hated Sooyoung for not sharing her number with her. She should have asked, she blamed herself too. 

Jungeun planned to leave that night, but instead she stayed with Jinsoul. They sat on the couch, watching anything to help the girl get her mind off of the situation. Lucas stuck around for a bit too, but eventually went upstairs for bed. 

_**//**_

Minho was in bed with his girlfriend, his phone ringing loudly as he kissed her. He groaned, reaching for it and answering. His ears perked up when the familiar voice came through the phone, sitting up immediately. 

Sooyoung hadn’t been home and she wasn't answering her phone either. Rowoon was calling to see if maybe she'd been there, but he said he didn’t see her all week. 

It alarmed Minho so he also searched for her and called her. She didn’t answer. And although it had only been 2 hours since Rowoon called him, he felt drained. It felt like this was going on for days. Time moved by so slow it was agonizing. He eventually returned home, sitting on his couch while his girlfriend comforted him. Telling him Sooyoung would be okay. 

He told her to go and get some rest and she complied, despite knowing he was going to stress himself out worrying for his younger sister. He’d fallen asleep on the couch, leaving his phone by his side the entire time.

* * *

“She’ll be fine honey. Don’t worry too much. Girls get like this around wedding planning times. It’s stressful.” His mother lied to him on the phone. Rowoon paced back and forth, listening to his mother’s words. “Get some rest. I’m sure she’ll be home by morning.” 

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair from frustration. “Okay. Goodnight. I love you mom.” 

“I love you too.” And she hung up, tossing her phone onto the bed and shaking her head. She surely shook the poor girl up. Quite literally, in every aspect. But she knew she wasn’t capable of running off. She’d be back for sure. And if not, Rowoon would eventually get over it.

* * *

Sooyoung decided not to text Jinsoul, instead she put her car in drive and made her way over to her brother’s place. She drove in silence. No radio. Absolutely no sound except for the vehicle itself. She quickly made her way up the stairs, knocking onto his apartment door after finally arriving from a nearly 45 minute drive. 

Minho quickly jumped up, the sound scaring him out of his sleep as his phone fell to the floor. He quickly jumped up, shielding his eyes from the hallway light of the building. When he opened the door, he felt a sense of relief wash over him as he pulled his sister into a hug. A tight hug at that. “Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again.” He scolded, but it was obviously in a loving manner. 

When he pulled away, he felt his heart drop and his anger rise. “What happened to your face?” He asked. “Did that piece of shit put his hands on you?” He said, making his way past her. But she put her hands against his chest to keep him in place. 

“N-No… he didn’t touch me. He would never.” She sadly spoke. 

“Who did this to you?” He questioned, seeing her wince away from his hand before he even touched the red area. 

“I don’t want to talk about it..” She said. “Can I come in?” 

He nodded, moving aside and allowing her to come in. She looked shaken up still, her one good eye looking around with sadness. She removed the hat she wore, running a hand through her hair. “I’m gonna run you a bath.” He insisted.

“No, I'm fine.” 

“Let me.” He said, before walking off without another word. She heard the water running as she removed her jacket. Seeing her phone light up from an incoming call. Her fiancée once again. She just watched it ring. She couldn’t explain how she felt but it was all so shitty. She wasn’t angry at him in particular. She was just angry in general. She was sad. She felt miserable. And god did her fucking face ache. 

“Come on.” He said, handing her some towels and shutting the bathroom door. She got undressed and looked in the mirror once again, the swelling had barely gone down. But it was a start. Her left eye was practically shut at this point. She stopped looking. She knew she’d cry if she kept going. 

She sat in the hot water, her knees up against her chest as she rested the unharmed side of her face against them. 

While she bathed, Minho went to his room. Grabbing extra pillows and blankets. “Where are you going?” He heard, and he slowly turned around.

“My sister is here.” 

The girl sat up quickly. “They found her?”

“She came to me.. I’ll be out there keeping an eye on her for tonight.” He explained, and although she looked a little hurt she understood. Minho was big on family. That was something he always reminded her of. “Goodnight.” He said, shutting the door behind him. 

He moved the coffee table and placed the blanket there for cushion, tossing the two pillows down onto the floor as well. He wondered what had caused her to completely disappear today. But she seemed in such a vulnerable state that he didn’t want to mention a single thing to her. He waited patiently for her to finish her bath before she came back outside into the living room. 

He didn’t ask if she was okay, because it was obvious she wasn’t. So he just patted the spot beside him, gesturing for her to sit too. She let her hair dry a little longer as they sat in comfortable silence. He didn’t pressure her to speak. But he let her know he would be there to listen if she needed him. 

He eventually dozed off, and Sooyoung planned to as well. She lay down softly, her mind not settling down for a moment. She grabbed her phone, hesitantly going to Jinsoul’s number. And opening a new message thread.

To; Jinsoul 1:25am : I’m okay. And I’m safe. See you at the party

* * *

Jinsoul had completely fallen asleep that night, as well as Jungeun. They lay comfortably on the couch. Laying on opposite ends with a shared blanket up to their chest. 

She slowly stirred awake, blinking a few times to get adjusted to the brightness around her. Jungeun was still fast asleep. She yawned and grabbed her phone, seeing that she had a message from an unsaved number. She was a little confused until she opened it. Not even hiding the smile that came to her face. 

It was Sooyoung, and she was okay. And that was all that mattered. So she sighed a breath of relief. 

To; Sooyoung 10:18am : I’m so happy to hear that.. i was so worried 

To; Sooyoung 10:19am : I want to see you

**_//_ **

She slowly lifted herself up from the floor, looking around as she heard noises come from the kitchen. 

“Hey.. you okay?” Minho questioned, watching her from behind the sofa. “My girlfriend is making breakfast so..” 

“I’m fine.” She said. She wasn’t sure if that was true or not. But at the moment she didn’t feel too terrible. 

“I was waiting till you woke up to get the ‘ok’ to go to your place and get you some clothes.” He mentioned, and Sooyoung gave him a puzzled look. “I’m not letting you go back home just yet.. it’s obvious you need a break.” 

“Can you do me a favor?” Sooyoung quietly asked him, before they were interrupted. 

“Breakfast is done.” The woman said, placing it onto the table. She gave a reassuring smile to Sooyoung before taking a seat. 

While Minho took a trip to her place, his girlfriend tended to her swollen cheek. “That black eye isn’t going anywhere just yet…. but the swelling is going down at least.” 

Sooyoung looked away sadly, continuing to eat her meal. She didn’t have much to say. She also didn’t know this woman that well. But she was trying to be nice. So Sooyoung allowed it. Plus she didn’t have the strength to be an asshole and deny the obvious care she was being given. Yesterday didn’t feel real.

She finally checked her phone, seeing Jinsoul’s texts to her. A smile appeared on her face and disappeared just as quickly. She didn’t reply though. And she wondered what Jinsoul was up to right now. She missed her. But she couldn’t let her see her right now. Not while she was this weak. Mentally and physically.

“Eat… i’m sure you’re hungry.” The woman said, snapping Sooyoung out of her taunting thoughts. 

**_//_ **

Minho rang the doorbell, standing there patiently and waiting for Rowoon to open the door. When he did, he saw the slight disappointment in his eyes when he noticed it wasn’t Sooyoung. 

“Oh— Minho?” He questioned, moving aside.

“I’m here to grab a few things.” 

“Grab what?” 

“A few outfits.. some undergarments. Sooyoung is staying at my place for a bit.” He informed, looking up the stairs and feeling Minho’s grip on him suddenly. He stared down at his wrist, listening to Rowoon’s next words.

“She’s safe?! Oh thank god— why isn’t she home? She didn’t call or text—“

“Don’t worry about it. I’m telling you she’s safe. She’s with me. And she’ll stay with me for a few days. Just give her some time. Don’t be so damn overbearing.” Minho said, snatching his arm away and going up the stairs. Rowoon followed closely behind.

“Did I do something wrong?” Rowoon questioned, and Minho shrugged.

“I don’t know. She won’t talk to me.” He said quickly, grabbing things from her drawers. “But I assume you didn’t because she would’ve told me. And I’d have your ass kicked all around this place.. so relax.” 

Rowoon nodded, standing tall in the doorway as he waited for Minho to pack a duffel bag with clothes. Noticing he didn’t grab any of her expensive dresses and such. Just necessities. “Thanks. She’ll come back when she’s ready.” Minho said, passing by him swiftly. He walked down the stairs as Rowoon followed behind once again, full of confusion. He had no clue what was going on with Sooyoung.

“When she’s ready?”

“Yes. When she’s ready. And by she, I mean me. She needs a second away from here. It’s stressing her out man.”

“She has a wedding to plan.” Rowoon pointed out.

“That’s all you’re worried about? Seriously? My oh my you people and your morals. You won’t be seeing my sister for another few days. So suck it up, and accept that fact. She needs _time_.” 

Rowoon wasn’t sure what to say. Anything he said or asked was shut down. So he just accepted the fact that he wouldn’t win this fight. And that he had to wait for Sooyoung to return back home. “Tell her I love her?” Rowoon said as the other man walked out of the front door. 

Minho just slowly turned around, not saying a single word. “You’ll see her soon.”

* * *

“It’s your birthday idiot. Liven up!” Jungeun said, blowing a party blower in her face. 

Truthfully, Jinsoul couldn’t liven up. Not until she saw Sooyoung. She was late. Very late. She already opened her gifts too. Everyone was drunk and full from food, except for Jinsoul. She was only tipsy, fighting the urge to message Sooyoung or call her and ask where she was. Jungeun’s presence helped her not think too much about it. Forcing her to dance and drink with her. Jungeun could tell that Sooyoung not showing up, was getting to Jinsoul.

“She’ll show up.. it’s your birthday… come on—“ Jungeun encouraged, holding her hand and forcing her to dance. Jinsoul eventually smiled, and for a moment she forgot about Sooyoung not being there. 

**_//_ **

Sooyoung eventually showed up. Wearing a button up shirt and some jeans that her brother had packed. The top buttons undone. She slowly scanned the area, the stuck up people in the room eyeing her as she shyly walked past them. Searching for the woman that was celebrating her birthday that night.

The music was loud, and her face ached despite the pain medication she took before arriving. She finally spotted Jinsoul, beautiful stunning Jinsoul. Wearing a dress that showed off all of her curves and skin, but she was dancing with someone else. And Sooyoung’s heart took a hit. She leaned against the wall, watching carefully. 

Jinsoul’s eyes slowly traveled around the room, somehow landing directly on Sooyoung. She felt her throat close up, and she stood still despite Jungeun still dancing around her. Maybe it was the alcohol but she swore everything around her was blurred out except for Sooyoung. She ran to her, nearly placing her lips against Sooyoung’s in that very moment. But she gently pushed her away. “Not here.” She whispered in her ear. 

“But you look beautiful.” Sooyoung complimented, feeling so relieved to have Jinsoul in front of her. “I have a gift for you… but I have to show you it tomorrow.” 

“Why?”

“Because I’m taking you somewhere. Somewhere with just you and I..” She spoke.

“Sooyoung is everything okay?” Jinsoul slurred, looking like a lost puppy as she used Sooyoung to keep herself from falling.

She hesitated to respond, but smiled seeing Jinsoul’s sincerity. “Yes… I just have.. something for you. Tomorrow. I’ll text you the details.” 

“Are you leaving?” 

“I am.” She sadly said.

Jinsoul shook her head. Grabbing Sooyoung’s hand softly and pulling her onto the floor. “Dance with me.” She said, and Sooyoung looked around nervously.

“Jinsoul—“

“What’s wrong with two friends dancing?” 

Friends… right. Just friends. She winked and began dancing to the music that switched from sensual to really poppy music. Jungeun moved away from all of the dancers, laughing to herself when she saw the two together. It was easy to put two and two together at this point. It was so obviously the girl she had been completely infatuated with. She could hardly see her face. But her hair was long and silky. And her body was perfect. The perfect height to compliment Jinsoul’s. 

Lucas watched from the entrance, gulping down his drink. He tried to not think much of it. But the way Jinsoul looked at her, it was hard to ignore. 

And just like that, the party was over. Sooyoung was gone once again, and the house was clearing slowly. Jinsoul sloppily removed her makeup, her clothes and got into bed. Lucas lay wide awake that night. His eyes slowly traveled over to Jinsoul who faced the other way. He cuddled up to her, kissing her neck and leaning his head against hers. “Do you still love me?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence. Jinsoul’s eyes opened immediately, as she lay still in the dark.

“Yes…” She quietly answered, wanting to just sleep to stop this dizziness and nausea she felt. He nodded against her.

“Would you tell me if you loved someone else?”

Silence.

“I trust you.. I’m just curious.” 

“Yes.” She simply said. “Now go to bed Lucas… I’m drunk.” 

He softly patted her hair and held her close to him. And although he thought she was fast asleep, her eyes were still wide open as she lay there completely shocked by the sudden questions. Yeah she was drunk, but that really shook her up. Making her want to throw up. She calmed herself down by saying maybe he just wanted reassurance and not that he saw her all over Sooyoung that night.

She wanted to ask. To talk about it.

But some things are just better left unsaid.

* * *

Sooyoung got dressed, trying to cover the bruising on her cheek with some makeup that afternoon. She made sure to send Rowoon a text. Telling him she was okay and she’d be back home soon. She just felt stressed out. Allegedly. But really she was just trying to cover up for his shit head of a mom. She didn’t want to cause more problems. 

“Everything okay?” Minho questioned when she stepped out from the bathroom. 

“Yeah.. I’m going to go and see Jinsoul now.” Minho stood up and hugged her tightly.

“Good luck little sis.” He smiled. “Nice job with the makeup… but she’s definitely going to see that eye.” 

Sooyoung sighed. “I know.. but I need to speak to her. So I’ll manage.” 

**_//_ **

“Where are you going?” Lucas questioned, as Jinsoul gave him a kiss. “Looking that good especially?” He frowned, but it was obvious he was just joking.

“I’m going to hang out with Jungeun. I’ll be home a little later.” She smiled. “Make sure you eat soon.” 

“Absolutely.” He smiled. “Stay safe babe.” He turned back to the tv.

Jinsoul made sure to drive herself to the location that Sooyoung texted her that morning. She had a hard time hiding her excitement. She couldn’t express the feelings she had recently regarding Sooyoung. But it was clear she felt something much more than she could handle for the woman. 

It took her nearly an hour to get there. The area was a little remote but still pretty. There were barely any cars or people around here. When she got out of the car, she looked around, making sure to lock her doors. She stood in front of the tall trees and noticed there were arrows carved into them, hopefully pointing her in the right direction. 

Each arrow was carefully carved with a heart design at the end of it. She smiled so hard her cheeks hurt. The trip there wasn’t too long. And the area around her was beautiful. The second she emerged from the trees, the white sand greeted her. 

She walked towards the water, her own hair flowing in the wind. And from afar, Sooyoung spotted her. Smiling as she watched Jinsoul looking carefree as the wind blew her hair and the ocean water greeted her kindly. She slowly made her way over to her, wrapping her arms lovingly around her from behind. Jinsoul was shocked by the sudden feel of someone holding her. Jumping at first and immediately relaxing when she saw who it was.

“Sooyoung…” She smiled, the girl purposely standing on an angle so she didn’t see the bruising on her face. “This place is beautiful.” She complimented, and the other woman agreed silently. Closing her eyes and allowing the ocean breeze to calm her. 

“My brother and I used to come here. He’d bring me with him when we were in need of some time away from family.” She explained. “Also just because… it was like a bonding time for us.. it’s something I wanted to share with you.” 

“It’s a very pretty place to relax…” Jinsoul pointed out. And although the view was beautiful, the person beside her was more beautiful somehow in her cute sweater and jeans. But she was still unsure of the reasoning to be here. Surely Sooyoung didn’t make her drive an hour to be told to fuck off in some way. “Sooyoung why are we here?” 

The girl slowly turned to her, grabbing her hand and moving them away from the shore a bit. She placed a blanket down and sat there. She gestured for Jinsoul to sit as well. They sat side by side, and Jinsoul sat with her legs crossed. It was cute. “I wanted to speak to you.. and also just— be with you. Away from others for once.” 

“Are you going to tell me you don’t want this to go on anymore?” Jinsoul suddenly asked, and Sooyoung shook her head. 

“What? No! You think I’m that much of an asshole?” Sooyoung laughed.

“No actually I think you’re splendid.” She laughed along with her. “I’m just curious.. you didn’t really come to my party yesterday either.” She pointed out, trying her best to not show how upset it made her.

“I know… sorry. I just wasn’t in the mood to be around people. But I came for you.” She pointed out, her hand slowly moving to rest atop of Jinsoul’s. Small steps. Baby steps.

“I appreciate it.. now where’s my gift?” She teased and her heart nearly exploded at the sound of Sooyoung’s laugh. And that smile. She’d never seen someone so beautiful. 

“Right…” She reached into her pocket. “It’s nothing big.. but I got you a ring.” She handed the cute box to her. 

“I know you’re big on jewelry. Sorry it isn’t the price of a lamborghini or something though.” She joked, but it was obvious she was truly insecure about it. She wanted to get something for Jinsoul, even though she didn’t personally have much money to do so. 

“It doesn’t have to be.” She said, opening the box. “It’s the thought that counts right?” 

Sooyoung smiled cheekily. “Right.” She scooted closer to Jinsoul. “It’s a promise ring.” She lifted her hand and showed herself wearing the exact same one on her finger. 

“Sooyoung.. is there something you’re not telling me?” 

She shifted slightly in her spot, taking a deep breath. She wasn’t used to this. Talking to people, expressing her feelings. But she felt like Jinsoul deserved that. To hear someone truly express themselves to her. “Jinsoul, do you… hmm— do you like me?” She questioned, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Sooyoung, I-I honestly think I love you.” She confessed, feeling a weight on her shoulders suddenly. Sooyoung wasn’t sure what to say to that. She wouldn’t say she loved Jinsoul. In some ways she did.. “You don’t have to say it back. I don’t mean to scare you.. but I’ve honestly never felt anything like this.” 

“What I feel for you is much different from anything else I’ve ever felt. And as much as I wanted to run away from that, it completely consumed me.” She admitted, feeling Jinsoul grip her hand a little tighter. “It’s obvious you’re not going anywhere.. anytime soon.” 

“Not that I know of… ” They giggled together. Smiling at each other lovingly for a moment. 

“Jinsoul I’m getting married very soon.” 

And although she saw this coming, it still hurt her like no other. “Why are you telling me this?” She began tearing up.

“Because it’s inevitable… I hate it just as much as you do. But my family and my fiancée’s family are fucking pushing this onto me. I can’t postpone any longer.. I know you understand.” Sooyoung sadly spoke.

“I do. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” 

“I know.” Sooyoung spoke, turning to her, forgetting the fucked up eye of hers. Jinsoul’s jaw dropped as she moved forward to caress Sooyoung’s cheek, hearing her wince away in pain.

“Sooyoung what happened to you?” She gasped, and Sooyoung instantly moved away.

“Don’t worry. It’s a long story okay?”

“Did he—“ 

“No. He didn’t. The woman that created him did.” She said, allowing Jinsoul to observe her face, despite feeling insecure. 

“Sooyoung…” 

“It’s fine. Seriously forget about it. That’s not the point of what I’m getting at here.” 

“Then what is it? Just tell me because I honestly can’t handle this tension building up.” She pleaded.

Sooyoung suddenly kissed her. And despite being caught off guard she kissed her back. Chasing after her lips even when she pulled back slightly. 

“I’ll teach you.” Sooyoung suddenly said in between breaths. 

“What?” Jinsoul seemed confused.

“That night.. when we had sex. You asked me to teach you, about love.” She reminded her, and she could tell Jinsoul was remembering her plea for Sooyoung to just show her the way. “I’ll teach you, as best as I can. But I need you to know, love is not perfect. And I certainly am not perfect either.” 

“I trust you.” 

“I know. And that scares me. But.. I’m willing to do this. If you are..” 

“Fuck I just want to get out of here and leave this country with you.” Jinsoul admitted, and Sooyoung laughed.

“Me too. Trust me, I’ve tried to leave.. doesn’t work.” She laughed. 

They stayed quiet for a while. “Sooyoung?” Jinsoul softly called out. Removing her shirt. Sooyoung slowly turned to her, her eyes amazed at what she was seeing. 

“Jinsoul what are you doing?” Sooyoung questioned, and she shushed her. Removing another layer of clothing. Her pants this time.

“Can you promise me something?” 

“What is it?” Sooyoung questioned, trying her best to keep her eyes up. Looking at the beautiful woman in front of her. 

“Please don’t break my heart.” 

And she was all over Sooyoung. Removing her clothes too, kissing her all over. The waves still crashing against the shore. Resembling the feeling Jinsoul felt when Sooyoung was in between her legs. Making her orgasm not once but twice. In rapid sessions, not giving her a chance to catch her breath. 

“How are you so good at this?” Jinsoul questioned, and Sooyoung laughed.

“I just do what you like…” She confessed. She really didn’t know what she was doing to an extent. But pleasure was simple, even better with someone you connected with. This was the first time Sooyoung felt something in days. And it was because of Jinsoul. All because of her.

Even now in this moment, where she was using her fingers to push Sooyoung over the edge. Her moans were swallowed by Jinsoul as she kissed her passionately. Feeling her arms wrapped around her body as she grinded down, chasing after the feeling that left her feeling euphoric. 

Jinsoul couldn’t get enough of her. Her soft skin and that lazy smile that made her heart beat faster than she could handle. She had fallen hopelessly for the woman beneath her, nearly tearing up as she looked down at her. 

“Don’t cry.. why are you crying?” Sooyoung questioned, trying to comfort her. 

“I just… you don’t deserve what's happening to you. I hate this.” She teared up even more.

“Hey— everything will be okay. It’ll be okay.. we’ll be okay.” She kissed her softly. “I’ll be okay too. Don’t cry please.. “ 

Jinsoul quickly wiped her eyes as she pouted, moving to grab her things and put them back on quickly. “You can’t tell me not to cry when your face is all like that.. how dare she put her fucking hands on you?! I just can’t believe it.” 

“I know. It’s shitty. But she has the power to make things even worse for me.. so I need you to understand.” 

“I want to kill that bitch.” Jinsoul said angrily, trying to put her top back on but struggling because she was too distracted by her anger. Sooyoung shook her head, quickly jumping up to help her. When her head was through the hole in the shirt, she felt soft lips against hers. Making her dizzy, wanting more as always. The feeling of Sooyoung was addicting. A simple kiss was enough to fill her cravings for just another moment.

Sooyoung also put her things back on, grabbing Jinsoul’s hand and taking her back to the water. They sat there for hours, talking, letting the water hit their feet. Watching the sunset together while they kissed and held each other tightly. The only time Sooyoung felt so free in what seemed like a decade. No man hovering over her. No constant reminder that she had one purpose in life.

It faded away like the sun did that evening. They didn’t want to leave each other that night. But they had to. This was what it had to be, and how things would always be if they wanted to continue what this was. Sooyoung walked her to her car, kissing her goodbye, as if it’d be the last time they would see each other again.

“Get home safely.” Jinsoul said.

“For you. I will.” 

“For yourself too.” Jinsoul scolded. “I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yes.” She kissed her again. “Go on— you have a long drive home.” 

“Have your eyes always been this beautiful?” Jinsoul asked, stalling to stay with Sooyoung just a little longer. 

She became flustered by the sudden compliment. “I’d ask if you’ve always been this charming, but I realized you have been since the first day I met you.” 

“Not as charming as you.” 

“True. But it takes time to get like this.” She smiled. “Go home Jinsoul.” 

“Okay. Okay.. I will. But only if you promise that i’ll see you soon.”

“I promise.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting messier and messier and we are only on chapter 3 🤒.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you also enjoyed this chapter ❤️


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

When Jinsoul returned home that night, Lucas had already fallen asleep. On the couch it seemed, he’d been up drinking and watching sports. He wasn’t the type of person to get drunk to the point he passed out though. Jinsoul cleaned up the area and awakened him gently. “Come on.. you need to get in bed.” She carefully guided him, and he wobbled by her side. Laughing and smiling the entire time.

At least he was in sleep clothes already. It made her job a bit easier. She kissed him goodnight and went to their bathroom, removing the light makeup she wore and getting ready for bed. She assumed he was asleep when she returned. Turning the light off and getting under the blankets. Her heart swelled when she remembered what she did today. Her time was well spent with Sooyoung. 

Her brain couldn’t seem to erase how stunning she looked with that view she’d been shown. The precious moments they shared in the span of a few hours. She missed her already. Her captivating eyes and her radiant smile. Although Sooyoung seemed a little off, she still smiled brightly at Jinsoul. Speaking to her softly and watching her as she spoke as well. Giving Jinsoul her full attention, as if she was the most important person in the world. 

“Where’d you go today?” Lucas questioned drunkenly, his eyes closed as his arm hung off the side of the bed. And she froze, her breath hitching in her throat. “With Jungeun—“ He added, and she finally breathed again.

“We went out to eat, and then we went back to her place for a bit.” She easily lied, feeling the guilt overwhelming her at how easily she’d made that up. God.. what was she doing? “I had a lot of fun.” 

“I’m glad you had fun. I like when you’re happy.” He said lazily, and Jinsoul slightly shifted in her spot.

“Am I not usually happy?” 

“... You’re a lot happier these days..” He pointed out, just before knocking out. She felt her heart stop at his words. Had he known? Or was he really just being a supportive husband who liked seeing his wife in good spirits? She chose the latter, she’d gone to ask a question, but his snores let her know he was out for the night. She figured there was no point in dwelling on it now. 

She missed the feeling of the human touch however, moving closer to Lucas as he slept wildly in bed. She held her blanket tightly against her body as she wished it was Sooyoung there instead. Her warmth and her vanilla scent wrapping around Jinsoul like a hug. God she missed her and it hadn’t even been 3 hours yet. 

A lot of things went through her mind that night. The mutual agreement to continue whatever it was they had in secret. The sex. The longing stares and the emotional distress Sooyoung was in. It was a lot to take in. But she tried to receive the information well, and memorize the feeling of Sooyoung’s curious fingers against her skin. 

It drove her crazy how infatuated she was with Sooyoung. Not even 2 months ago she was somewhat fine with her life. To an extent. Certainly she had been desensitized to it all at this point. But now, all she wanted was Sooyoung. All she wanted was to hear her voice, and be near her. Although, being around her was getting a little too hard now. Because all she could think about were those lips and how soft they were against hers. And how well they worked in between her legs, and against her body. 

She felt nauseous from how overwhelmed she was thinking about this woman. She just couldn’t understand what it was about Sooyoung. And that was the thing, there was so much about her. So much to learn. 

She felt like she could easily read Sooyoung like an open book. But to get a better understanding you had to flip the pages yourself to see more. She was beautiful, and mysteriously sexy and yet so open and fragile. All at once. She was wise, and she was sweet. And she was lost, confused. 

Jinsoul felt selfish for a moment, because as horrible as it sounds, she wouldn’t have it any other way. Because unless the universe was on her side, she’d never have met Sooyoung. And now that she has her in her life, she can’t imagine living in another reality of some sort without her. She was dreamy, and everything good and so dangerous too. 

The situation was risky. Every part of it, but she just wanted Sooyoung so badly that she didn’t care. She could hide it. For as long as she possibly could. Because it was Sooyoung. 

All she wanted was _Sooyoung_.

* * *

Minho watched his sister from across the small table. A newspaper in her hand as she read whatever contents it contained. He tried to ignore it, really he did. But the unnecessary rustling she did make it impossible. “Sooyoung?” He called.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you have a phone?” 

“Yes.” She simply responded, not placing the paper down once. He was about to speak again until his girlfriend came from the room. 

“I’ll call you later okay?” She kissed him and smiled before turning to leave. Placing her hand gently on Sooyoung’s shoulder. “And make sure you take care of yourself okay?” 

Sooyoung simply nodded, hearing the door shut moments after. And before she knew it, the paper that was in her hand was ripped in half by her brother. He threw it to the floor. “You have a phone! Use it.. to read about the news! This isn’t the 1950’s.” He shouted, as if it was the most bizarre thing he’d ever seen.

“Honestly I wasn’t even reading. I just felt like pissing you off.” She giggled, and he rolled his eyes.

“Well you accomplished that.” He shook his head. “How was your little play date?” He questioned. 

“It was fine. It was really nice… I took her to the place we used to go to, if that’s okay.” She informed the man across from her. “She loved it.” 

“I don’t mind. We share things that we love, with the people we love.” He said, and her stomach turned.

“What makes you think I love her?” She questioned quickly, and he could hear the hostility in her tone. It was his sister after all. They had the same mannerisms and habits. Had they not been 2 years apart, some would think they were twins. 

“I mean— it doesn’t have to be a deep love. It could be.. casual love.” 

“There’s no such thing as casual love. You either love someone or you don’t.” She said, and he laughed.

“Sooyoung— there’s different variations of love. You show it in different ways even if you don’t say the words exactly.” He explained, although it was something she probably knew. Her guilt blinding her from the truth. “The love we share, is much different than the love you may have for a friend, or…” He gestured, referring to Jinsoul.

“I don’t consider this love. But extreme infatuation.” She said, staring at nothing in particular as she thought about the girl that made her heart race. She swore her heartbeat hasn’t been normal since she met this woman. 

“Whatever you want to call it, you’re feeling this girl. And my point was, I don’t care if you take someone that you trust to our spot. It’s a safe haven. Away from all of this bullshit.” He reminded her. 

“I just—“ She started, but didn’t continue. And he looked at her with a puzzled expression, waiting for her to continue. 

“What?”

She laughed softly, before suddenly her eyes began to water. “I just.. I can’t believe you’re supporting this…” 

He sighed deeply. “You’re my sister. I love you more than some rich asshole family ever will. We’re family forever, in any universe or alternate reality. And you didn’t choose this life, you were forced into it.” 

“It’s still cheating.” 

“Are you emotionally and physically involved with Rowoon?” 

“I mean… I guess. To an extent.” 

“The same way you are with Jinsoul?” He questioned, the room becoming eerily quiet. And when she didn’t respond he laughed. “Exactly.” 

“It’s still cheating no matter how you put it.” 

“You’re my sister. I’ll always be on your side. I promise.”

* * *

It had been 4 days now since Sooyoung hadn’t come home, and Rowoon was starting to think it had something to do with him. He backtracked to figure out what he’d done to have hurt or upset Sooyoung, but he truly couldn’t figure it out. 

It was a waiting game that he unconsciously gave in to. When the door was opened, revealing his mother he stood up, instantly placing a bright smile on his face and welcoming her. “Uhh.. Sooyoung is with family today so it’s just going to be you and I planning the wedding stuff.” He lied, and she smiled.

“Well that’s perfectly fine. I’d love to have your input although I basically already know what I’m going to do.” She smiled, walking to the dining room. “I’ve already placed a reservation for the horse carriage that you’ll be riding on through the city from the venue.” 

Rowoon sighed. More flashy things that Sooyoung wouldn’t care about. But there wasn’t much he could do when it came to his mother. He was always overpowered in some way. As much as he hated it sometimes. It was still his mother. 

She stayed there for nearly 5 hours that day, Rowoon was dozing off by the end of it. They’d had about 3 meals in that time frame so he knew he’d be sleeping really soon. “Tell that Sooyoung of yours I’m looking forward to our next planning session.” She smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Okay. Bye mom.” He smiled, watching as she was carefully guided to her ride. The door being held open for her as if she was a Queen. She might as well have been. He waved as the car drove off, slamming the door shut as he sighed from frustration. The chef had already gone home for the night, so he poured his own drinks. 2 shots back to back with a chaser. 

Something wasn’t right, and he really needed to understand what he’d done wrong to the woman of his dreams. 

_**//** _

“Are you sure you want to go back now? You can stay a little longer..” Minho encouraged her. 

“You just want me here cause now you’re going to be here all alone. Call your girlfriend up.” She teased.

“She was here for an entire week already. I’m not into the clinginess.” He stubbornly said.

“And yet you’re being clingy with me.” She pointed out.

“It’s different. I don’t get to see you as often anymore…” And although they were joking, it was clear the sentence had brought both of their moods down. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. 

He pulled her into a tight hug. “I know… Me too.” He kissed her forehead. “Get home safely alright? And drive that bad boy yourself. None of that auto pilot shit.” 

“I’ll get home safely. Thank you Minho. For everything.” 

“Ha Sooyoung, you are very welcome.” He bowed playfully, making her laugh as she moved to get into her car. 

The ride back home was quite somber. But she knew she couldn’t stay away forever. She honestly just wanted to stay away until her bruising had gone away a little more. She didn’t need Rowoon seeing and questioning anything. The lights leading up to the home were dimly lit as she parked in the driveway past the gates. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she arrived. But she didn’t expect to enter the home with mostly all of the lights off. 

She shut the door quietly behind her, when she suddenly heard footsteps from beside her. Making her jump as she turned to see the taller man leaning against the entrance of the kitchen. Downing what seemed like a shot. “Rowoon?” 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home.” He slurred. 

“Yeah…” 

“My mom came over today.” He pointed out, flicking the switch up so that the lights would come on. Making Sooyoung squint at the sudden flash. “She ordered us a fucking horse carriage.” He laughed, and Sooyoung could tell he was drunk. Not from the way he spoke, with a slur at the end of each word. But the fact that he cursed. Which Rowoon never really did. 

“For the wedding?” 

“Mhm… she said she’s looking forward to seeing you again for the next planning. We figured out the suits and colors for the men today. So I assume the next is for bridesmaids and such.” He was rambling at this point, and Sooyoung just stood there looking back at him as he spoke. Only making eye contact with her every so often.

“That’s good.. we’re making progress.” 

“Finally right?” He suddenly laughed. “Sooyoung do you even want this?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you want to marry me? I treat you well don’t I?” He began to sound desperate. “I feel as though I haven’t done anything wrong and—“

“You’re drunk.” 

“Answer me!” 

She swallowed hard. “Rowoon…”

“Actually— don’t. I’m drunk, and I’d rather be oblivious to how you actually feel. Ya know.. I get it, the whole forced marriage shit, yeah it sucks. But I think I’m a great husband.” He spoke. “Do you at least love me?”

In some ways.. she did. “I do.” She said, her eyes watering for a moment at the miserable state her fiancée was in. Reminding her that she was still in this situation, and this was still her reality. No matter how blissful it was being with Jinsoul. 

“Then please tell me what I did wrong to make you leave me here all alone…” 

Sooyoung shook her head, looking away from the man who seemed like he was on the verge of sobbing. “Rowoon it’s not you, I swear.” 

“Is it my mom?” 

She didn’t respond. “What did she do to you?” 

“Rowoon it’s fine. I’m over it, and I’ll be seeing her soon for the wedding planning.”

“Don’t brush me off, tell me.” He grabbed her wrist firmly, holding her in place as she tried to walk off.

“Why? It’s not like you’re going to do anything about it anyway.” She said, realizing the bite in her tone as those words slipped by. The bitterness seeping through her words. 

“Do you really expect me to go against my own mother? Seriously?” 

“I expect you to at least stand up for yourself.. not even me in particular. Yourself. Rowoon you’re a grown man, and you let your mother boss you around—“

“Don’t _speak_ down on my mother.” 

“You’re just proving my point.” She ripped her hand away from him. “Whatever— I’m tired and you’re.. drunk. This just isn’t a good combination honestly.” 

He let her walk off briefly before speaking again as she was halfway up the stairs. “Should I be worried?” He questioned quietly.

And she turned around just enough to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Worried about what?”

“Have you found another man to love?”

* * *

“She just gets whatever she wants. It’s so annoying.” Chaewon complained as she lay on Hyejoo’s bed with her feet in the air, and her eyes trained on the ceiling.

“Well she’s the princess, isn’t that how it works?” Hyejoo questioned, looking up from her nintendo switch. 

“Well yeah. But who follows those things anyway. I’m the youngest of us two, I should be getting called the princess and getting catered to.” She whined. “She doesn’t even like it. I can see it in her eyes whenever we have dinner together.” 

“This entire situation is one sided, you’re going to drive yourself insane. Besides, why would you want to be a princess, I hate those stupid dresses they make you wear…” 

“Hyejoo!” She flicked her forehead. “That’s not the point! She’s ungrateful.,,”

“And you’re not?” She asked her, making Chaewon sit silently, not even knowing how to respond. “I mean, surely, to someone else what you have is already something huge for them.”

“$1000 allowance a month is nothing, Hyejoo. I blow that money on one designer dress and It’s gone in the blink of an eye.” 

“You’re insufferable honestly, I don’t even know how we’re friends.” Hyejoo confessed. “There are people out there that would kill to be in your position and you’re getting pissy about not having the title _princess_?” 

Chaewon felt small all of a sudden, but she tried her best to not show it. Still keeping her head held high. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” 

“And thank god I don’t. I’m actually pretty grateful that I’m nothing and I don’t have to stress over what dress I’m wearing to a dinner of two.” 

“Do you always have to do this Hyejoo?” 

“Do you?” She quickly questioned back. “Can’t we just have a simple conversation without you bringing up your sister or your glamorous life? Have you ever thought to maybe ask how my day is going?” 

Chaewon just sat silently. Watching as Hyejoo quickly stood up. “You see… _this_ is why you don’t have genuine friends. Because everything is about _you_.” 

Hyejoo sighed when she saw the look on Chaewon’s face. Had she been too harsh? It was just a lot of pent up anger for someone she’d been friends with for a year. There were little reasons to even like Chaewon, and yet she did. And she hated herself for it. She was sure the other girl would never feel the same way about her. But it would be really nice to just have her there without giving Hyejoo a fucking headache. 

“Look i’m sorry—“

“It’s fine.” Chaewon said quickly, turning the other way for a moment as a tear escaped her eye. She quickly wiped it and stood up. “I should probably get going anyway. My family is having dinner soon.” 

And Hyejoo did nothing to stop her as the shorter girl left her room hastily, not even saying goodbye. 

She cried the entire way home, thankfully the chauffeur minded his business. She made sure to clean herself up before going inside. Mark stood near the entrance when she entered, a basketball in his hand as he looked back at her. “Uh hi..” He said, and she waved him off. 

“Go and play basketball, I’m not in the mood to talk.” She groaned. Walking by him and going up to her room he assumed. He shrugged his shoulders and proceeded outside, playing basketball until dinner was ready. 

**_//_ **

When Jinsoul arrived, she could hear the sound of a ball on concrete. Coming from the family owned courts directly by the house. She left the car door unlocked, she never really needed to lock them when she was in the comfort of her family’s house. She walked inside of the gated area, just as Mark ran up to the court to shoot a layup. Sweating just a little bit. He was a lot taller than she expected, considering the last time she saw him he was sitting on the floor. 

“Can I try?” She suddenly asked, nearly scaring the life out of the poor boy. But he nodded, passing her the ball without question. She dribbled it a bit, aiming to shoot it but making the ball fly over the fence completely. “Sorry….” 

He laughed as he watched it fly over. “It’s fine. There’s a whole rack of them here.” He pointed out, walking to the side and grabbing another brand new ball. He handed it to her, and guided her to the center a little more. “Keep your feet planted and your arms bent just a little…” 

She followed his instructions carefully. “Now shoot.” He backed away, watching as she jumped and shot it, almost making it in. But unfortunately failing once again. Mark ran for the ball, bouncing it back over to her. “No worries, that was a lot better than the other one.” He joked, although he really did mean it. 

He easily made a shot from where he stood. “What brings you here?” 

“Well this is my family too.” They both laughed. “My mom invited my husband and I for dinner. She said she missed him so…” 

Mark looked behind her. “So where’s your husband?”

“Oh right.” She laughed. “He had to do something before coming so we drove separately.” He nodded in response, running up to make a dunk. 

“But I should probably go inside and say hi to my family now.” She added, and he stopped what he was doing.

“Yeah for sure.” He smiled. “You should um.. come more often— so we can play basketball together again.” 

And she made sure to keep that in mind, smiling before leaving the courts and making her way back to the entrance of the home. When she got inside, she was quickly greeted by her father who was passing by just as she stepped inside. “Took you long enough.” He playfully scolded.

“Oh I was here.. I was just talking to Mark.” She informed, closing the door behind herself. She bowed to the butler even though it was supposed to be the other way around.

“He actually talks to you?” The man questioned as they walked side by side through the mansion. 

“Uh yeah. Does he not talk to you?” She questioned. 

“He hardly talks to any of us. We assumed he was just warming up to us all. He rarely interacts with your sister.” 

“That’s not very surprising…” She muttered under her breath. And she was thoroughly surprised to see her sister wasn’t sitting at the table already like she usually was. 

The older woman emerged from the kitchen area into the dining room, spotting her daughter. “Oh you’re here.” She quickly walked over to her, kissing her cheek. “And where’s Lucas?”

“He should be here soon he had—“

“The party has arrived!” She heard her husband say, trying to hide the unpleasant expression on her face as she quickly turned around. Forcing a smile onto her face as she moved over to him. Giving him a hug and kiss. 

“Sorry I’m late. But I bought you some fine wine to make up for it.” He smiled, walking over to Jinsoul’s mother and gently placing it in her hand.

“$5000? Hm, this is mid tier, but I’ll take it. Thank you sweetheart.” She said innocently, kissing his cheek, as he had to bend down to allow it. He was quite tall, especially compared to the people around him, who barely averaged over 5’5. Except for her father, who was still shorter than the man. “Dinner is done already, they’re prepping right now. So take your seats.” 

**_//_ **

They sat in the smaller dining room today, since it was just family. Mark sat across from Lucas and Jinsoul, while her parents sat at each end of the table. The only missing spot now was Chaewon. Who took her sweet time getting downstairs and to the dining room. 

When she showed up, her entire vibe was off. Her shoulders were slumped over, rather than her high and mighty posture. And she wasn’t wearing any makeup, which resulted in the sight of her looking a bit sickly from the stress she tended to cover up with contour and such. She felt like she was the only one in the room who had noticed. It was oddly quiet, as Mark and Jinsoul shared a look, and Lucas awkwardly laughed.

The women came over to the table, placing the food down. “Mmmm, I’m starving.” He said, eyeing everything on the table in front of him. 

When the women left briefly to grab more food, her father eyed Chaewon. “Sit up straight.” He simply said to her, just before smiling as a glass of wine was poured for him. 

She did as she was told, like always. They prayed over the food, something they rarely ever did unless company had come over. Which in this case, it was Lucas being the company. They ate for the most part. Her parents striked up some conversations, and as always Lucas and her father hit it off as always. Talking about sports and whatever else guys tend to do. Her mother just sat with a smile on her face the entire time. She adored Lucas, and felt like he was the perfect person for Jinsoul.

But for Jinsoul, he was far from that. In some ways, he was good for her. But she was sure no one could compliment her the way Sooyoung did. She didn’t know how she was so sure of it. But she felt it, in her heart. 

“So should we be expecting grandchildren soon?” Her mother asked, butting into their conversation. They all turned to her, especially Mark who seemed uncomfortable by the sudden topic. Chaewon was already just out of it, she had no energy to annoy Jinsoul. But she still watched her carefully. Spotting the added ring on her finger as well. It was subtle however, so she didn’t question why anyone hadn’t seen it or asked about it. Jinsoul wore jewelry pretty often anyways. 

When Lucas realized Jinsoul wasn’t going to say anything, he spoke up. “Well um— we’ve been trying. It’s a work in progress.” He said, hoping it’d lay the conversation to rest for a while.

“Call me a dreamer but a part of me really wants you to have twins.”

“A boy and a girl.” Her father chimed in, and Chaewon rolled her eyes, while Mark awkwardly ate from his plate. Lucas laughed again, awkwardly as he cleared his throat.

“Can we please talk about something that isn’t me and my life?” Jinsoul questioned, her annoyance showing as she found it hard to sit there and take their insinuations much longer. 

“Jinsoul—“ Her father started.

“No seriously, why can’t we talk like normal families do? About normal things and not about me popping out children and wearing hideous dresses to dinner parties.” 

“That’s enough.” Her father stood up, slamming his fist down. Lucas quickly grabbed his glass and drank from it. “You don’t speak to us that way. _EVER_.” 

“Where has your respect gone?” Her mother questioned.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She said back, turning back to her food as they all awkwardly sat in silence for the remainder of dinner. Lucas tried to break the silence a few times, but none of the conversations lasted very long. 

After dinner, Jinsoul attempted to speak to Chaewon. Going up to her room as the girl lay facing the opposite way. “You know I’m here if you need me.” Jinsoul said softly from the doorway, knowing to keep her distance. 

Chaewon didn’t respond, a tear falling down her cheek as she lay in bed waiting patiently for Jinsoul to leave so she could cry in peace. When Jinsoul realized she wasn’t going to respond, she just sighed sadly. “Love you.” She said, before closing her door. 

Jinsoul left first out of the couple. Mark chased her out to the car just as she was about to get in. “Wait!” He said, and she held the car door as she watched him run over to her. “A wrapped a few slices of cake for you..” He handed her a container with sliced pieces inside, placing his hands into his pockets. She smiled softly.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” 

He hesitated before speaking again. “I’m sorry about your parents.” He apologized, and she didn’t quite understand why he was apologizing for their behavior.

“Don’t worry. They’re always like this.” She brushed off.

“It seems tiring to be fair.” He quickly added. 

“It can be.. but you don’t need to apologize for them. They won’t ever really change anyway so it’s just falling on closed ears at this point.” She explained. 

“I know. But I felt like you deserved an apology at least. Even if it wasn’t directly from them.” 

In that moment she realized she’d never really had someone apologize to her. They just treated her a certain way and the next day they moved on without mentioning it again. The grudges were harvested until the next time they were uprooted. Causing the downfall to be much more grueling. 

“I’ll make sure to eat this cake with a smile.” She simply responded, getting into her car. Mark stepped away, watching as she pulled off and left. He sighed to himself, going back inside and watching as his aunt spoke to Jinsoul’s husband. Lucas was it? He was eating some of the cake that they usually would eat together as a family. But since Jinsoul left before that, he made sure she at least had some to take home. 

He leaned up against the wall as he listened over their conversation. His uncle probably somewhere else in the house. And he felt nauseous at the things he heard. Jinsoul truly was too good for all of this shit. “I mean, I’ve been really trying. But she’s just stubborn.” He said, shaking his head.

“Then try harder.” She said to him.

Lucas laughed awkwardly. “I mean, I can’t really force her to do anything she doesn’t want. And I’m not like that. I want kids too, but I want them in an organic way.” He explained, and the woman rolled her eyes.

“Then you’ll be waiting until your hair falls out and your eyes start sinking into your sagging skin. She will wait forever if she can Lucas. Which is why you need to be more persistent.” She poked his chest. 

“I’ll try my best. But I can’t make any promises.” 

Was the last thing Mark heard before he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he turned, his uncle was staring back at him. “What are you doing?”

Mark stammered as he stood up straight. “I uh— nothing. Nothing, I was just, standing here.” He said. And the man smiled at him.

“Oh good then, I wanted you to teach me how to play that game of yours. The one where you’re a fox or something.” 

“He’s a bandicoot.” Mark corrected. “But okay, I’ll show you.” 

The man guided him away from the other two. Knowing exactly what he had been doing, even if he didn’t admit to it.

* * *

It’d been about a week since that night with Rowoon. Her eye had almost completely healed now. They hadn’t brought it up. But it was clear there was tension between them. Rowoon was still sympathetic, but Sooyoung wasn’t. Especially because in that very moment, she was dealing with the woman that caused her to leave. It was the 2nd day in a row of planning, and she was informed she’d be riding in a horse carriage on the day of it. She rolled her eyes so far back she was afraid they’d get stuck. 

A fancy wedding where over 100 people attending didn’t seem too pleasant to her. She didn’t enjoy much attention in general. It made her anxious. 

She wondered what her life would be like if her parents weren’t poor. She wouldn’t be sitting here at this table putting up with some snob, that's for sure. But she had to, not just for her own sanity, but for her family too. It all came down to her, when she thought about it. The pressure and observing from those around her. Expecting this from her and hoping to see an outcome of some sort. Preferably one with money at the end of it, despite her own misery. 

She didn’t care much for the money. But her family did, and no matter what she did, she was sure she’d end up right back here. Maybe she had no other purpose in life. Maybe this is what she was supposed to be. Where she was supposed to end up. 

She eventually came to realize the only validation she felt outside of family was from Jinsoul. Jinsoul, the sweet girl who was just as sweet as she… right… focus. “I think there should be bouquets in vases on each table instead of just one flower.” She inputted, somehow pulling herself from the thoughts that tormented her. In a good and bad way. 

“Rowoon said he’d prefer a single rose in each vase, but I think for once I’m more on your side with this one. It’ll be much prettier and bring out the scenery.” The woman said, looking at the flowers in the catalog she viewed. Sooyoung didn’t say much more, only opening her mouth when it was absolutely needed. In terms of physicality, Sooyoung wasn’t scared of this woman. It was more of the mental and emotional hold she held on her. She knew exactly what to say to make her insides churn. 

And she had far too much power over her. There was simply nothing she could do, despite her fist being balled up as if she wanted to punch the woman any second. She was sure that if Jinsoul was present, her heart would calm down, and her shoulders wouldn’t be so tense. Her presence enough to shield her from the monster in front of her. 

Sure, she felt guilty doing this. Thinking about Jinsoul and encouraging this affair they had. But how could she ignore someone that had intruded her life in a good and bad way. She remembered the first time she met her. That dazzling smile, that low voice and her cheeky responses. She was a sight to see, a woman with class and a presence that’d make you want to bow at your knees for her. And she wanted to avoid it so badly. To avoid her. But she couldn’t, and that would ultimately be her downfall. 

“I’m going to quickly get a drink.” Sooyoung announced, standing up and leaving the woman in the room as she made her way to the kitchen. Her head spinning as she thought about Jinsoul. She couldn’t stop fucking thinking about her. What was it that permanently ingrained her in the heart of Sooyoung? She couldn’t shake these thoughts.

Not a single one.

Especially the intimate aspects of their relationship. Jinsoul was so soft, every part of her. Sooyoung couldn’t compare her to any other woman, because she hasn’t seen any other woman. But she was sure Jinsoul overshadowed them in every way possible. The way she smiled when Sooyoung would smile at her just before she went in between her legs. Making her eyes roll back and her sounds float to the stars as she let herself relax. 

Sooyoung downed a shot. “Drinking to get through the day huh?” She heard a voice, and she quickly turned to the woman who entered the kitchen. 

“Just today.. not everyday.” Sooyoung admitted. “I don’t drink much in general.” 

“I believe you. That woman is a force to be reckoned with. But you seem to be handling it well.” The woman spoke, moving to clean off the counters. 

Sooyoung looked down at the glass in her hand. “Handling it well? Really?” She laughed mockingly. “I’m about two pages of flowers away from running off again.” 

“You wouldn’t do that.” 

Sooyoung frowned. “I know… I can’t.” She admitted, looking at the woman that wiped down the surfaces of the kitchen. “I’m going to head back. I seriously don’t want to start anything by disappearing for a few minutes.” 

“Is this a wedding planning meeting or a prison?”

“Both.” Sooyoung laughed, leaving the older woman alone in the kitchen as she returned back to the dining room.

**_//_ **

Sooyoung sat on the sofa as Rowoon entered the living room. A tray of snacks and some drinks. He placed it in front of her, eyeing her carefully for a reaction. “Can I join you?”

“Seems like you already have.” She said truthfully, and despite her tone being sweet still, it made him feel bad. Things hadn’t been the same since that drunken night of his, and he hated himself even more now. He thought he could make things better but if anything he felt like he was just pushing Sooyoung away further.

They hadn’t even gotten married yet and things felt so complicated. It seemed like lately Sooyoung wasn’t really there. Physically she was, but emotionally, that was a different story. He sat beside her, opening the can of soda for her and smiling as he handed it to her. Tuning in to whatever she was watching. 

She was enjoying an episode of “The Price is Right”. He never watched shows like this, so it was interesting to him. He seemed more excited about it than she was. The entire time he sat beside her, she just wished it was Jinsoul instead. Not even in a touchy lovey way. But just her presence. At least she wouldn’t talk every second and ask her questions about what was happening on the screen. A huge pet peeve of hers, by the way.

She dug into some chips, the time moving tauntingly slow as she waited for this episode to be over. The second it went off, she finished her soda, standing up and making her way out. “Where are you going?” Rowoon questioned, thrown off by her abrupt movements.

“I’m getting ready to go to my Mom’s place.” She answered. 

“Oh— tell her I said hi.” 

“I will.” 

She left without another word, going upstairs to probably change into something different from the attire she wore inside. He heard the car keys jingling and he stood up, walking towards the main area just before the entrance. “You know we have someone who can drive you to and from places right?” He reminded the woman.

Sooyoung sighed. “I prefer to drive myself. I thought you’d know this by now.” She simply responded, making her way out.

“No goodbye kiss?” He questioned, just as her hand turned the doorknob. She froze, mumbling something to herself before turning around with a smile. Walking up to him and giving him a kiss that he had to bend down for, due to the height difference. 

When she got into the car, she immediately wiped her lips with her arm. Groaning as she had to deal with her family once again. But then again, she did agree to this. But she had no other options, and she was sick of sitting around in the house doing nothing. These days she’d wake up early before the sun was fully up to go on a run with music playing in her ears. Returning before her fiancée awakened. And relaxing on the couch as Youngsun prepared breakfast. 

It was an endless repetitive cycle that was only broken when she’d see Jinsoul. Which wasn’t as often as she’d like due to their conflicting schedules and oh.. the men in their life. It wasn’t easy, but they knew that it wouldn’t be going into this. There were times where Sooyoung would lay awake at night, wondering if Jinsoul would respond had she sent a text right then and there. 

But she always backed out. 

In a perfect world, Sooyoung wouldn’t be so afraid to pursue Jinsoul. She’d simply let herself fall for the girl instead of resisting what she wanted so much. But she had things to take care of, a family relying on her. As badly as she wanted Jinsoul, there were just so many doubts and worries on her end. But she was trying. And Jinsoul appreciated it. 

She has mistaken genuine kindness as an act of affection because she wasn’t used to it, causing her to cling so heavily onto Sooyoung because of the way she made her feel. And as horrible as it seemed, it was burdensome. Because Sooyoung held the power of Jinsoul’s emotions in her hand. 

“You’re finally here, I thought you’d come much earlier.” Her mother said, opening the door. Despite their differences, Sooyoung still loved her. She was her mom after all. 

“I was watching tv for a little and had breakfast so…” Sooyoung replied, feeling her siblings run up to her and give her a tight hug. 

“That’s fine. I’m glad you had breakfast because I didn’t yet. I’m making something for myself right now actually.” She spoke, walking away to the kitchen while Yeojin and Yerim held onto Sooyoung still. 

“Mom said you’re picking out our dresses so we can be a part of the wedding!” Yerim spoke.

“She said we’re going to be flower girls.” Yeojin added, and Sooyoung just laughed.

“I don’t recall doing that… but I’ll think about it.” She responded, gently removing herself from the little rugrats who immediately ran back upstairs. Giggling loudly as they did so. 

The moment Sooyoung sat down her mother placed a cup of tea in front of her. “It’s good for healing.” She simply said when her daughter gave a confused look. “I’m sure you’re stressed with all this planning stuff.” 

“Oh so you know about that..” Sooyoung took a sip, immediately retreating from the hotness that touched her tongue.

“Why yes— Rowoon came over and—“

“He what?” 

“He came over. He told us that you knew.. he wanted to update us on everything. I see you’re almost done.” Her mother excitedly said, as Sooyoung had to try her hardest to keep an expressionless face. She didn’t need her mother assuming anything.

“I am, somewhat almost done. Still a lot of small things but the whole dress design stuff is out of the way..” She chipped in, trying to please her mother so she’d leave her alone about it. Her father was at work as usual, and Minho was home. And whenever he wasn’t there, Sooyoung didn’t stay too long. She could only handle so much. Her mother kissed her cheek and watched her as she walked to her car.

Driving off and making her way down the bumpy road. She didn’t want to go home, so she tried to figure out something to do. Eventually taking out her phone and calling up a friend. “Are you home?” She questioned. “I’m in the neighborhood and I need something to do.” 

**_//_ **

She walked up the lawn to the home with the small Kia parked in the driveway. Her stomach bubbling as she hadn’t seen this person in well over 10 months. Despite that, she knew she could always count on her. The moment the door opened the shorter girl smiled brightly, her long dark hair cascaded over her shoulders as usual as she moved aside so Sooyoung could come in. Instantly hugging her tightly and rubbing her back soothingly. 

“It’s been a long time.” Heejin said, closing the door behind her. 

“It has been.” Sooyoung responded. “Are you home alone?” 

“Yeah.. Hyunjin’s out at the park with the kids.” She informed the taller girl.

Right. She totally forgot that Heejin had twins. Two boys. Who were probably much bigger now since the last time she’d seen them. She didn’t know what it was about Heejin that made her feel so comfortable. Probably because unlike everyone else, she never judged her. Not even once. They’d been friends for about 5 years now. And she was sure she talked to Heejin about things more than anyone, besides her brother. 

“How’s the family?” Heejin asked as she poured a glass of iced tea for her friend. Smiling as she did so, because she missed Sooyoung so much.

“They’re the same as always..” Sooyoung replied. “More pests now than they’ve ever been though.” She explained as she gently grabbed the glass from Heejin’s tiny hands.

“So nothing has changed really.” Heejin laughed, making Sooyoung laugh too.

“Basically.” She sighed. “They’re really on my ass about this whole arranged marriage thing. I’m planning my wedding for early August.” 

“So soon?” 

Sooyoung nodded in response. 

“How do you feel about that?” 

“How am I supposed to feel? None of this is right but I have to do what I have to do. I’m the oldest girl of the family, so I’m being sent off into this shit. I wouldn’t want this for Yerim and Yeojin though.” 

“Those brats.” Heejin mentioned, and Sooyoung tilted her glass towards her. 

“Exactly.” 

She wasn’t sure what to say. She felt like nothing could really ease Sooyoung about this all, because regardless she’d always hate the situation she was in. She wished she could help somehow. But it was completely out of her hands. She was happy that she’d moved away from her family as well. Being able to live freely and have her own life was amazing. She wished Sooyoung could have that too.

She could tell Sooyoung was off. Despite them not seeing each other in so long, she knew her habits. When she was anxious, she fidgeted a lot. When she was upset or in distress, her replies were short. When she was angry, she had a bit of a hot head. Her words spilled out before she even thought about it, which caused them a lot of falling outs at times. But they always came back to each other. Like platonic soulmates. Heejin was sure she’d never have another friend like Sooyoung, even though she had plenty.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked, and Sooyoung looked over to her with those puppy-like eyes that she’s always had. She hadn’t changed a bit. And that’s what she loved about her.

“Nothing.. I’m just really stressed right now. I wish I could go and hole up somewhere for a few months.” 

Heejin understood, trying to find the words to comfort her. “I know this isn’t what you want. But you’re really brave and strong for going through with this..” She softly said. 

Sooyoung wanted to accept those words. But she was anything but brave, and she wasn’t strong at all. She was a coward. But she forced a smile onto her face, because this was what her life had to be. “I appreciate it.” 

“Is the guy… is he at least nice?”

“Oh, he’s a sweetheart, he’s extremely smart.. like he’s a surgeon. And he’s handsome.. but he’s just… I don’t know. I can’t seem to find myself attracted to him in any way.” She explained, and Heejin’s eyebrow quirked up for a second at that sudden revelation. She had a thought that was gnawing at the back of her brain but she kept her mouth shut as Sooyoung rambled on.

“Maybe in another universe he’d be the perfect guy for me. But I just.. I don’t feel _anything_ for him.” Other than her guilt. 

“Is it just him or is it guys in general?” Heejin suddenly asked.

“Heejin I’ve only dated about 4 guys in my life.” 

“And only two of them were serious. And one of them broke your heart. The other two were just for the hell of it.” She quickly responded, remembering it all. 

“Yeah… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt genuine love from anyone.” 

Except for _one_ person. 

“Maybe relationships just aren't for me.” 

And Heejin laughed. With guys maybe, but for girls she was sure it was a different story. But she wasn’t one to really pry, because she knew how closed off Sooyoung could become at the simplest sign of intruding. “Yeah. Maybe. But I think you’re good at them, you just haven’t found your person yet.” 

“Will I ever?” She questioned, considering the circumstances.

“Who's to say you haven’t found them yet?”

* * *

Another week had gone by. Another week without Sooyoung and another week of Lucas all over her. It’d become unbearable at this point. As it was so obvious he was pushing himself onto her a little. Not sexually, but just in every other aspect. She hated it. Before, she could ignore it, and manage it. But it was so clear he was up to something. 

She needed to get out of the house, and her go to person was always Jungeun. But she was busy. “Of course you’re busy the one day I need you.” 

“Call up your little girlfriend then. I’m just your side chick.” Jungeun playfully said, and Jinsoul groaned in response.

“You’re so annoying.” 

“You love me.” Jungeun smiled, watching as the girl she was waiting for entered the restaurant. “Alright, I gotta go. I’ll call you later.” She hung up quickly, and Jinsoul was left with nothing.

She walked around the huge house aimlessly. Sitting in the movie room before getting up and heading to the game room where she shot a few basketballs. Quickly getting bored. She never really grasped how empty this house made her feel. Or how she became numb to it. The only part of this home that felt lively was because of Sooyoung. The music room. Where she brought the instruments that lay there with no intentions of being used to life. 

She went there, her heart feeling full again as if Sooyoung was in the room with her. She played the piano a bit, but it didn’t sound as good as when Sooyoung did it. Jinsoul was much better with guitars, she taught herself how to play at a young age. 

Maybe Jungeun had a point, she could always call Sooyoung and speak to her. What was so wrong with doing that? To have a friendly chat. To hear her voice again. 

**_//_ **

Her phone suddenly vibrated while she was talking to Heejin. The name popping up and the shorter girl looking at it and then at her. “Give me a second.” Sooyoung said, grabbing her phone and leaving the kitchen. 

She stepped outside for a moment, answering the call with a smile. “Hello?”

“Hi…” Jinsoul said. “What are you up to?” 

Were they at this point now? This awkward small talk. It was obvious Jinsoul wanted to speak to her. She seemed bored out of her mind. “I just.. I have nothing to do so I thought maybe you’re having a lot more fun than I am.” 

“Did you honestly believe that?” Sooyoung laughed.

“Not really. Would you like to have some fun?” Jinsoul questioned excitedly.

“Depends on the fun..” Sooyoung responded, looking back into the house to see Heejin moving around. 

“Let’s go somewhere.” 

“That’s not very helpful Jinsoul..” 

“A walk? In a park. Just us and some strangers going on about their day.” 

“You consider that fun?” Sooyoung questioned. 

“Anything is fun with you.” Jinsoul said, realizing how cheesy it sounded. Blushing almost immediately at the silence from the other end.

“Okay well, I’m a little busy right now. But we can go for a walk… tomorrow. Okay?” She said, and she expected to hear some form of disappointment from Jinsoul but she got the exact opposite of that.

“Okay! I know a place, it’s really pretty and they have like little ducks in the ponds there. I’ll text you the place sometime later.” She said excitedly, smiling so hard she felt her cheeks would fall off. She had something to look forward to.

“Okay. I’ll see you then… bye Jinsoul.” Her charming voice came through the phone, waiting for a goodbye in return.

“Goodbye Sooyoung.” 

**_//_ **

She relaxed with Heejin a little more, before realizing the time. It was going on about 6pm now, and although the sun hadn’t gone down yet, it was getting a little late for her. She’d be having dinner at home soon, and she knew Rowoon would be calling her any minute now. 

“I have to go now..” She said, standing up as Heejin did the same. Her eyes suddenly became doe eyed as she felt sad about her friend having to go so soon. Although they spent the whole afternoon together. 

“So soon?”

“I’ll make sure to come back again. I have to get back in time for dinner. My fiancée hates when I miss it, and I hate having to hear him whine about it.” She explained.

“Your husband sounds like a big baby.” 

“Tell me about it…” She laughed. They stood in silence for a second before Heejin quickly wrapped her arms around Sooyoung’s neck. Hugging her tightly. And Sooyoung hugged her back.

“Come around more often… I’ve missed you.” Heejin admitted.

“Okay. I will.” Sooyoung simply said, waiting for Heejin to release the hold she had on her. She walked her to the door, and just as she was stepping out, a car pulled up into the driveway. A black Mercedes to be exact. And Hyunjin stepped out, quickly moving to the backseat to take the kids out. 

“Oh would you look at that.” Heejin smiled, standing beside Sooyoung on the porch. Within seconds the little boys were out of the car, walking up to the home with small ice cream cones in their hands. It seemed Hyunjin had a different hair color, something she wasn’t used to seeing from her. An almost reddish color. She smiled as she walked over to them. 

“Did I miss the party?” Hyunjin playfully said, kissing Heejin’s cheek and giving Sooyoung a light tap. 

“Unfortunately, but Sooyoung said she’d come back again sometime.” Heejin said brightly.

“Good. The kids need their godmother around.. just saying.” She teased lightly. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“No one likes a deadbeat.” Hyunjin laughed. “It was good seeing you Sooyoung.” 

“You too Hyunjin.” She said as the woman stepped inside. The sound of her voice calling out to the boys loud enough for the neighbors to hear. 

“Take care of yourself Sooyoung.” 

“I will.” She smiled softly.

“And you know we’re always here if you need anything.” And she quite literally meant anything. Even a place to stay for a bit if need be. 

For the first time in forever, someone that wasn’t a love interest or a sibling had made her feel a little whole again. She felt like maybe all of her days weren’t so dark because she had people that brought light into it when she needed it the most. 

She only had about the amount of fingers on one hand to count though. There weren’t many people in her life. But she was grateful for the ones that were. Because truthfully, they kept her going.

* * *

“You’re up early.” Lucas yawned, his hair messy as he sat up from the bed. “Parents house?”

“No, I'm going for a walk.” She truthfully said. 

“A walk? We have treadmills down in the workout room.” He mentioned, and she shook her head.

“That’s.. not the same. I like nature and to be around people. The basement is dull, and it looks like that room was built for someone exactly like you.” 

“Hey..” He frowned, and Jinsoul laughed.

“You should try going for runs more often. It’s much different than being locked up in a gym.” 

“I’ll make sure to take that into account next time. Thank you Coach Jinsoul.” He teased, and she smiled. If there was anything she liked about Lucas it was his humor. 

“I’ll be back home by dinner.” She kissed his cheek, before grabbing her phone and leaving. 

**_//_ **

Rowoon was still asleep when she left that morning. She made sure to leave a note for him so he wasn’t alarmed. He fell asleep with a book on his chest from reading the night before. 

“Gone so soon?” She heard a woman question just as she grabbed her car keys. 

“Yeah… I have plans today.” She simply replied. 

“Be back in time for dinner at least. Not for your husband, but because I know I wont see you for the rest of the day.” 

**_//_ **

When Sooyoung arrived, she parked somewhere close to the trail. She wore something light for obvious reasons. If she was going to be walking, she wanted to feel free while doing it at least. She spotted Jinsoul on a bench nearby, looking around as she hadn’t spotted Sooyoung just yet. She also could see she had headphones in, so she surely wouldn’t hear Sooyoung showing up had she come behind her. So she did just that, making her way around the people who were walking towards the trail and sneaking up behind the black haired girl.

She instantly wrapped her arms around her from behind, feeling Jinsoul jump. And truthfully, Sooyoung did scare her at first, but the second she looked down she spotted the matching ring they both wore. She turned to her with a bright smile, resisting her overwhelming urge to just kiss her right then and there. 

“You’re finally here.” Jinsoul playfully said, standing up and turning to her fully.

Sooyoung was taken aback by how gorgeous she wasn’t. Not that she expected anything less. She just didn’t understand how someone could be that beautiful all of the damn time. It was so unfair. It just made things so much harder for her. How could she resist this woman? 

She wore a simple shirt with some fitted track pants. “I’m going to leave my phone in my car.” She said. “Since I don’t have pockets.” 

“Just put it in my satchel.” Sooyoung said cutely, opening it and putting her hand out for Jinsoul’s phone. 

“Are you sure?”

“It’s not gonna hurt me Jinsoul.” Sooyoung assured her. “I got it.” 

She handed her the phone, watching her as she put it in the satchel with her own phone. Her hair in a half up, half down wavy ponytail. She was stunning. And Jinsoul was starting to question why she couldn’t have been forced to marry a woman. And not just any woman, Sooyoung to be exact. “You look amazing.” Jinsoul blurted out, and Sooyoung seemed flustered by the sudden compliment.

Jinsoul had always been pretty blunt, so this didn’t catch her off guard for that reason. She was just shy because Jinsoul was looking at her like she was truly the most beautiful human she’d ever seen. And to be fair, she was in Jinsoul’s eyes. And vice versa. 

“Thank you… you do too.” She complimented softly, not making eye contact anymore because she was sure her cheeks were red at this point. 

“Shall we go on the trail now?” 

“Yes. We should.” Sooyoung smiled. 

**_//_ **

She doesn’t know how long they were walking for. But Sooyoung’s legs were tired. She hadn’t done this much walking in so long. They stopped by a stand and bought some water. Continuing on with the walk as they take sips. 

Sooyoung felt a little better, but her legs still slightly ached. “Do you do this often?” Sooyoung questioned the woman beside her, watching the way her hair blew flawlessly in the wind. And how she sexily ran a hand through her hair to fix the damage it had done. 

“Walking? No.. I used to but I stopped for a while. It got pretty boring doing it alone.” Sooyoung figured it wouldn’t be a good time to bring up a man, so she kept her mouth shut. 

“Well this is tiring. I don’t know how people do this regularly.” 

“Dedication maybe.” 

“Too much dedication.” Sooyoung huffed out and they both laughed.

Jinsoul didn’t lie though. The scenery was amazing and the influx of people made it feel just a bit more lively as they all walked or ran on the trail. Some of them even rode their bikes. It was calming, and it relaxed Sooyoung in ways she didn’t even know they could. But nothing relaxed her like the woman beside her did. Her smile makes her heart flutter and her body feel light. 

It was impossible not to smile back. 

They eventually walked onto a tiny bridge that went over the pond below. “These are the ducks I was talking about.” She excitedly said, as they stood in the center and looked down at them in the clean water. 

“They take really good care of the wildlife here.. it’s why I love this place so much.” Jinsoul explained to her. “I wish I had food to feed them right now.” 

“Maybe next time.” Sooyoung smiled, and Jinsoul turned to her with a smile on her own face. Sooyoung hadn’t noticed, because she was looking down at the white birds in the water cutely floating around with their babies beside them. The air was fresh and the sky was pretty. She felt at peace for once. 

Jinsoul’s heart jumped when Sooyoung insinuated that there would be a next time. She held her happiness in as much as she could, she didn’t want to scare Sooyoung off. “I could honestly live here..” Sooyoung said as she rested on her arms. 

“In the water?” 

“No silly… just here. In this environment.” 

“You’d live outside? Really?” 

“Not necessarily outside. But I’d like to be surrounded by nature someday. Not completely in the forest kind of nature, but at least cute little ponds like this..” She explained, and Jinsoul nodded understandingly. “I’m a sucker for simplicity.” 

That sentence didn’t make sense to Jinsoul, because Sooyoung was anything but simple. And she deserved much more than just simple things. But being around her gave her a different perspective of life. Not everyone was flashy or wanted to be flashy. It was refreshing to be around someone who didn’t have such a mob mentality going for them. “You deserve much more than simplicity though.” Jinsoul calmly said, turning to Sooyoung fully now as she leaned against the wooden rail. 

“I don’t think I deserve much actually.” Sooyoung laughed bitterly, and it hurt Jinsoul’s heart to hear her say that. Had she thought so lowly of herself? She wishes she could take all of those bad thoughts away from Sooyoung so she could see how truly magnificent she was. Sooyoung deserved everything and more. She was truly a human that was out of anyone’s league. And although even Jinsoul knew she didn’t deserve her, she couldn’t help but hope Sooyoung believed that she does. 

“You deserve a lot Sooyoung.. I’m sorry the world isn’t kinder to you.” Jinsoul gently spoke, and Sooyoung smiled softly, despite not turning to look at her just yet. Her eyes still trained on the pond as she eyed each creature that was inside of it, or at least she tried. 

She admired how collected Sooyoung seemed even though it was so clear that she had a heavy weight on her shoulders. “My life is truly hell.” She admitted.

“Even with me in it?” Jinsoul questioned, and Sooyoung breathed in and out deeply. Turning to her finally with a sincere look in her perfect brown eyes. 

“Jinsoul you’re the closest to heaven I’ll ever be.” 

And Jinsoul nearly fell apart right there in that moment. She wanted to kiss Sooyoung. How could someone speak like this? As if it was nothing. These kind words just slipped past her lips and left Jinsoul in a frenzy for days. Her heart flipping uncontrollably as she tried to process the constant wisdom that seeped from Sooyoung. The kindness she constantly exuded despite not having to be that way because of how shitty her situation was. She was kind, and she was beautiful and so smart.

And Jinsoul couldn’t help but fall for her every single time she opened her mouth. It was impossible not to. She’d never heard such things come from another human who wasn’t a famous poet maybe, but then again she didn’t pay attention to many poets.. or writers for that matter. 

“Sooyoung… that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard..” Jinsoul admitted. “I wish I could kiss you right now… but we’re in public.” 

“Next time.” She assured her. 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Jinsoul smiled, and her heart stopped when Sooyoung smiled back. God, could she get any more beautiful? This was far too much for Jinsoul to process. 

Suddenly they heard a phone ringing, and Sooyoung quickly opened the satchel to pull them out. But it was Jinsoul’s phone. She handed it to her and Jinsoul sighed. “Hello? Yeah, I’m still at the park..” She replied to the person on the phone. “Right now? They couldn’t have picked a different day?” 

Sooyoung just looked out at the pond once again as she listened to Jinsoul slowly getting more frustrated as the call went on longer. “Alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can so I can get cleaned up.” 

She hung up with a sigh. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Lucas’ parents are coming over to our place though so I gotta get back home and clean myself up a bit..” She sadly said. 

“Don’t be so sad.. we’ll meet again.” Sooyoung reassured her. “I owe you a kiss. Remember?” 

And Jinsoul’s frown slowly disappeared when she saw Sooyoung wink at her with a smile. This woman was going to kill her one day. Her heart couldn’t take much more of this. 

“I had a really great time with you today Sooyoung.” Jinsoul said as they made their way back to the trail so they could get to their cars. The sun was shining a bit more now. Making Sooyoung slightly squint as they walked and she shielded her eyes with her hand. The hand that Jinsoul wanted to badly hold. The temptation to just be all over Sooyoung was far too much. 

“I had a great time with you too.. I never knew walking could be so much fun. But now I do.” 

“It’s only fun if you do it with me.” The woman teased, and they both laughed at that. Because it was honestly true. Sooyoung probably wouldn’t do this with anyone else. 

They hugged, and Jinsoul held on a bit longer than Sooyoung expected to. “A longer hug to make up for the fact I can’t kiss you right now… because I _really_ want to.” 

“I know.” Sooyoung said. “Stay strong.” She teased, putting up her fist as motivation. 

“Goodbye Sooyoung. Get home safely.” 

“Bye Jinsoul. You too. Have fun with the in-laws.” She laughed, and Jinsoul whined at her teasing even as she walked away. 

She watched her until she was no longer in view before she went back to her car. Tonight was going to be much longer than she expected.

* * *

“Oh you just get more and more beautiful every time I see you!” The woman said excitedly, kissing both sides of Jinsoul’s face as her hands rested on her shoulders. 

“Thank you Mrs.Wong.” She smiled, although she truly wanted to sprint out of the house at that moment in time. 

Lucas greeted his father and they prepared for dinner. They sometimes would sit in the living room to eat as they watched something on tv. But since guests were over, more importantly so Lucas’ parents, they sat in the dining room and had caterers. 

It all seemed so dull to her though. It just didn’t get her excited anymore. She tried to keep a smile on her face though. As they ate they conversated and Jinsoul chimed in as much as she could. Although his parents always did the most talking.

“You’d think sending him abroad to a private school it’d fill that noggin of his with some knowledge.” His mother said, drinking from her wine glass. “But he’s just like his father. Goofy and empty headed.” Lucas just laughed at that.

“To be fair. I told you there was no point in sending me abroad.. it was a waste of money.” 

“I wanted you to have proper education.” She responded.

“She’s right. Besides, you know more than one language, so you got something out of it.” His father chimed in. “Also.. this is some really lovely steak.” 

“That is true, you know English right? Maybe we should have a trip outside of Korea. All of us.” She insisted, and Jinsoul just smiled as she slowly drank her wine. Not wanting any parts of this said trip. 

“We definitely could. It’s still summer and we don’t have much to do.” 

“I heard the Queen wanted you two to renew your vows. Maybe you could go off yourself and then the next time around we all go.” His father insisted. “A princess like Jinsoul deserves a vacation.” 

“Oh yes that’s right.” Lucas cleared his throat. “We’d love to do that actually. 

_We?_ Jinsoul truly didn’t want to do that. But she wasn’t one to shut down things in front of guests. It wasn’t polite, so she kept her mouth shut and went along with the conversation. She didn’t need to have any eyes on her for shooting down an opportunity that most would jump at had they were given the chance.

When dinner was over, they said their goodbyes, and Jinsoul quickly removed her makeup. She had a long day to be fair. But it was for a good reason. Her legs ached just a little from that tiring walk, but she hadn’t even known she walked so much because she was with Sooyoung the entire time. Laughing and talking about things that didn’t even make any sense. 

At times she felt Sooyoung looking at her, but she’d quickly divert her eyes somewhere else if Jinsoul turned to her. Probably thinking she hadn’t caught her in the act. But it made her feel good, to have those longing stares on her. She wanted Sooyoung to want her. And even though they were taking things slow, it felt like each time they met, so much would change after that. Rather it be them getting closer, or diving more into wanting to be around each other. 

“You alright?” Lucas questioned as she looked at herself in the mirror. 

“Yeah.. just really tired honestly.” She admitted. 

“You should lie down. We have a charity brunch to attend tomorrow. You’ll need rest.” 

“I’ll also need painkillers.” She said, smiling as she massaged her own shoulder beneath her shirt. 

“On it.” Lucas smiled. “I’ll go and get you some water.” 

And when he left she let out a sigh, slowly removing her hand from her shirt as she eyed the ring on her finger. Her fingertips brushed across it and she felt whole again. A small reminder that Sooyoung was still with her even if she wasn’t literally with her at that moment. It was something. And when they weren’t together for days or even weeks, the ring reminded her that Sooyoung was still somewhere out there. 

And hopefully she was thinking of her.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you guys think will find out what’s happening between Sooyoung and Jinsoul first? There’s so many options, but I’d love to hear who you all think.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Please don’t be afraid to comment as it gives me such motivation and happiness when I see people are enjoying my work. Thank you for the continuous support and I hope this chapter exceeded your expectations and the next one does too. Thank you. Please stay safe and stay healthy ❤️


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW//: Dieting, weight loss, slight slight slight abuse**

* * *

“Don’t you think this is a bit much?” Jungeun questioned from beside her, watching as she scrolled down a page on her laptop. 

“What? No… this will be good for Sooyoung and I..” Jinsoul responded. It’d been 2 weeks since she last really spoke to Sooyoung. She knew she was busy and caught up with the wedding planning. The thought of her getting married in less than a month now making her nauseous the more she thought about it. 

“Does Sooyoung even know you’re doing this?” Jungeun asked again and Jinsoul laughed in response.

“No… I was going to talk to her about it but I can barely get 4 messages in a day from her. I have to see her face to face so we can discuss this.” She smiled. “This penthouse is really nice isn’t it?” She turned her screen to Jungeun who just shook her head with disappointment. 

“Jinsoul… don’t you think you’re moving a bit too fast? What if Sooyoung doesn’t want to do this? You’ll be hurt..” 

“Jungeun it’s just a place for us to stay in whenever we meet up… we obviously can’t just stay the night with each other at our own places. So this will be our little safe haven when we want to get away from family.” She sighed. “Sooyoung will like it. Her fiancée is driving her crazy anyway.” 

Jungeun shook her head, standing up to grab something to drink from her fridge while Jinsoul excitedly clapped. She’d found a really nice penthouse that was a bit far from her current residence, but that’s what they needed. A place away from everything and everyone. “Then why does she stay with him? Why don’t you two just run off together and live happily ever after?” 

“Because it’s not that easy, Jungeun.” The taller girl rolled her eyes. “Sooyoung can’t just… leave.” 

“And you can?”

“In a way? Yes, I can. I’ll probably face backlash for the rest of my life but.. I have things to fall back on. Sooyoung… she won’t ever betray her family like that.” 

“Right. I forgot you two are in those fucked arranged marriages. I’m so glad I told my family I liked girls from the start. No man is being shoved down my throat.” She scoffed, making herself a sandwich quickly. “Also, I wouldn’t want you to really face backlash.. you already have people up your ass just from that recent event. I can’t even imagine people finding out you ran off with a girl.” 

Jinsoul frowned at the realization of that. The scrutiny was a lot on her at times, but she was so used to it that it didn’t hurt her too much anymore. She had to realize these people had no idea who she was as a person so she can’t be offended all of the time. It used to drive her crazy. But she was much older now. Her skin had grown much thicker. But despite that, Sooyoung wasn’t in the public eye. And that realization dawned on her. And in a way, it slowly tied into why Sooyoung probably had been so distant lately, on top of her wedding planning. 

It was from when they went to the park together for a walk. It wasn’t anything suspicious, but Jinsoul was a public figure of some sort. So it didn’t shock her that they were followed around, people taking pictures and uploading them. Articles being made about the Princess and a new “friend”. She was pretty level headed when it came to these things. But Sooyoung wasn’t. 

She was terrified of being so exposed to the world. And Jinsoul understood, she really did. But she couldn’t help it. She wanted to hang out with Sooyoung without things being such a big deal. But the situation they were in.. it was impossible. So that’s when she came up with this idea. A penthouse they can share together away from the busy city, in their own little world, so they didn’t always have to be in public. They’d have their own space to share with each other.

And it sounds scary, but it was really just as simple as that. A place away from everyone, where they can relax and enjoy each other’s company in the safety of a penthouse. A beautiful one at that. In a way, she was moving fast… but she didn’t have much more time before she had to watch Sooyoung practically be taken away from her. 

So sure, she moved fast. But her feelings were strong. And they were valid.

“The articles weren’t that bad.. they were honestly just surprised to see I had a new friend to hang out with.” Jinsoul laughed, watching as Jungeun grabbed a block of lettuce from her fridge. 

“Do you think they followed you here?” 

“They’re not that persistent all of the time. But they definitely got me leaving my place for sure.” 

“This world is crazy.. who cares what you’re doing anyway?!” 

Jinsoul feigned offense. “A lot of people do actually!” She yelled jokingly, hearing Jungeun laugh as she prepared her sandwich. “But it’s mainly because of the status.. if I could strip this status away from me I would. But unfortunately, I’m going to be in this position for a long time.” 

“As long as you buy me my dream car one day, I don’t mind it too much.” The brunette jokingly said to her. 

And Jinsoul shook her head, pushing the laptop aside for a brief moment. She nervously played with her fingers. “Jungeun how do you know when you love someone?” She could see the girl’s movements stilling when the question was asked.

But she didn’t turn around. “Um, I think you just know.” 

“But is it a feeling? Some sort of rule of confirmation?” She sighed. “It’s all so confusing.” 

Jungeun turned around slowly and leaned against her counter as she watched the other girl anxiously waiting for a reply. “Jinsoul… I’ve never really been in love.”

“Neither have I..” She responded.

“But I think the closest i’ve gotten to it is… you just know you’d do anything to make them happy.” She responded.

“I’d do anything for Sooyoung..” Jinsoul softly said.

Jungeun sighed softly. “Then I think you have your answer.”

* * *

Sooyoung looked in the reflection of the mirror as the woman altered the dress she would be wearing on her wedding day. It seemed like she’d been here forever now. It was a long grueling day for her. She’d been awake since 7 that day. Mainly because Rowoon made so much noise when he got up for work that morning. 

He wished her luck before he left. 

Probably because he knew his mother would give her a hard time. The situation was still awkward, and Sooyoung never missed the backhanded compliments given to her. “Hm.. have you gained weight?” She questioned as the woman measured Sooyoung. She awkwardly looked back to Sooyoung who stood with her eyes wide out. “Ah, just a little pudge.” She gripped at the skin of her belly. Which.. wasn’t even much by the way. But she always found something to complain about. 

“I…” Sooyoung started, before the woman cut her off quickly. 

“About 2 weeks on this lovely diet I have for you and you’ll be good to go.” She forced a smile. “Continue with her measurements, we could possibly compare in another few weeks. Preferably a week or two before the wedding.” 

**_//_ **

“Trust me, this diet works like a _charm_.” The woman said to her as they sat in the limo. “It’ll be hard the first week, but the second week shouldn’t be too bad. You’ll see results soon.” 

“Do I really have to do this?” Sooyoung frowned. She’d never been put through so much shit in her life. And to marry a man? This had to be some sort of cruel punishment. “Can’t I just exercise?” 

The woman laughed, like a villain in a movie. Sooyoung cowered under her gaze when her eyes snapped back in her direction. “2 weeks of exercise won’t help you within the time limit we need. Your body needs to be perfect in your dress. There’s going to be over 100 people seeing you.” 

“Yes I know—“

“Just do the fucking diet Sooyoung.” The woman snapped. “I doubt you want people seeing you look like a pig on your wedding day.” 

“You’re…” Sooyoung started but she was stunned with silence as the woman turned to her. 

“What was that? Surely you don’t want to be thrown back on the market..” 

“Nothing. I said nothing..”

* * *

As Sooyoung promised, she tried to keep in touch with Heejin as much as possible. The other woman being an anchor of some sort for her lately. As she always has been. Heejin was cleaning the dishes when she got a phone call that night, Hyunjin spotted it and picked up the boys. One in each arm. “I’ll get them ready for bed, no worries.” She kissed Heejin’s cheek before leaving to go upstairs.

Heejin quickly dried her hands, picking up the phone with a bright tone. “Sooyoung? Hey!” 

“Hi Heejin.” Sooyoung said softly. “How are you?” 

“Me? Couldn’t be better. We just had beef for dinner.” 

“I’m assuming you cooked it?”

“You know it.” Heejin laughed. “Hey um, could I call you back after I finish these dishes? It shouldn’t be too long.” 

“Yes of course.” 

**_//_ **

As Heejin said, it didn’t take her long to finish the dishes. She went upstairs, hearing Hyunjin in the bathroom with the boys. Helping them brush their teeth. She went into the bedroom and called Sooyoung back, the phone ringing for quite a long time before she picked up.

“Sooyoung?” 

“Yeah, hey Heejin, sorry.. I was in my bathroom.” She explained and Heejin laughed softly.

“No need to explain yourself. Are you alright?” She questioned, hearing the somberness in her tone. Sooyoung sighed as she stared at the glass in front of her. A stupid juice diet she was being forced on. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” She lied. “It’s just been a long day.” 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Sooyoung chuckled. “Just more wedding shit. I was getting fitted for my dress today. I’m supposed to be going back in another two weeks for another appointment.” 

“Oh my.. the wedding is really so soon huh?” Heejin questioned, remembering how Sooyoung didn’t really enjoy talking much about the wedding when she was here a few weeks ago. “I’m sure you’ll look beautiful in your dress.”

“You’re invited, you know?” Sooyoung suddenly said, and Heejin paused briefly.

“Really?” She asked, and Sooyoung nodded her head as she sat in her kitchen alone. Hearing the deep voice that belonged to her friend on the other end. 

“Of course.. you’re my friend Heejin. Practically a sister to be honest.” 

“Hey.. that means a lot to me Sooyoung. I’ll gladly come to support you.” 

“Thanks Heejin, you’re the best.” She eyed the glass in front of her once more. 

Hyunjin walked back inside of the room, seeing Heejin still on the phone, so she stayed quiet. Getting into the bed beside her and watching as she spoke. “I’m uh, I’m going to go now though. I had a pretty long day and just.. wanted to talk to someone.” Sooyoung quietly said.

“You’re free to call any time.. are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes! I’m just heading to bed.” She laughed lightheartedly. “I’ll call you some other time, preferably on a day where it’s not going to shit.” 

“Fair enough.” She smiled. “Goodnight Sooyoung.” 

She placed her phone onto the nightstand as Hyunjin smiled back at her. “Everything alright?” She questioned and Heejin nodded, pulling the blanket up to her stomach as she leaned back against her pillows. 

“She just sounds a little down is all. But she said she had a long day.” 

“Wedding planning is very tiring. Trust me. Been there and done that with my sister.” 

“Seolhyun’s wedding was beautiful though.” Heejin complimented.

“It was. But the process is grueling. Especially having to get your dress fitted. It’s annoying as hell. Not to mention they’re getting all dolled up for a guy.” 

“Be nice.” Heejin warned. “You know her situation.” 

Her wife sighed beside her. “I do. Doesn’t make it any less tragic though. If anything, it’s much more tragic now.” 

Heejin didn’t respond, she just quietly sat in thought. Hyunjin looked at her, waving a hand in front of her face to get her attention, or snap her out of the daze she was in. But Heejin didn’t even flinch. “Do you think there’s a possibility Sooyoung likes girls?” 

Hyunjin laughed. “I think that’s a possibility for everyone honey.” 

“Yeah but… Sooyoung just gives me this vibe.” Heejin responded and Hyunjin turned away from her and lied onto her back. Staring up at the ceiling.

“You haven’t seen her in a year and suddenly the second you do she screams lesbian? Is that what you’re telling me right now?”

“She’s super against this wedding.”

“Yeah, she’s being forced into it. Who wouldn’t be against it, Heejin.” 

“And just recently she was spotted… with the princess of Korea, smiling brighter than I’ve ever seen her smile. I’ve known Sooyoung for a long time, she hardly ever smiles at anyone.” 

“Your logic is flawed. But you’re adorable so i’ll just keep listening.” 

“I know what I’m talking about Hyunjin. And I know my friend.”

“I’m sure you do.. more than anyone.” She gently smiled at her. “But you can’t go making assumptions like that.. especially about Sooyoung. That girl can become as clenched as a fist within seconds.” 

“I didn’t say I was going to talk to her about it. It was just a thought..” A simple thought that Heejin was sure she was right about. 

_**//**_

Sooyoung sat in the kitchen all alone that night. Her first night of dieting. She despised the woman behind this. But she despised herself even more for allowing herself to be treated this way. Like a puppet. She hoped all of this would die down after the wedding. The unnecessary need to see Rowoon’s family and to be around them for more than an hour. She wouldn’t have to force herself to communicate. The deed would already be done. 

That’s the thing about people with money, they rarely ever use it for good. Most of the reasons behind it being sinister. And if not that, selfishness to the highest degree. Afraid to distribute their wealth to those who may need it more than they do. Sometimes, for both reasons.

In this case, it was for both reasons. 

Money being used to purchase a liquid in a black bottle. Oh, Sooyoung forgot to mention the part where this was far from a juice cleanse. It was basically just water with 3 drops of a clear liquid that turned the water a greyish color. It tasted horrible at that. She held her nose as she drank it, hoping it would help but she nearly gagged at the taste. 

She really sat and contemplated if she was going to put herself through this bullshit for something she didn’t even want. She didn’t sign up for this bullshit, and yet she was being put through the most. It was frustrating. 

When she got upstairs, Rowoon was fast asleep. He had fallen asleep while doing work though. So she gently removed his things off of the bed, also removing the glasses he fell asleep in. Once he was settled, she got ready for bed. Her stomach grumbling from the neglect of not eating dinner tonight. 

2 weeks couldn’t be that bad. Except it was, and her sanity and patience was being tested.

* * *

Chaewon stood outside of her friends house as she debated on if she was going through with this or not. It’d been a while since she last spoke to Hyejoo after.. _that_. And despite the fact she deserved it, it didn’t hurt any less. She eventually knocked onto the door, mustering up the courage to do it. Her driver parked as she stood outside. When the door opened, it was Hyejoo. She wore a white t-shirt and some black shorts. Her hair was silky and much darker than it was the last time she saw her.

“Hi… can I come in?” Chaewon asked shakily and Hyejoo didn’t respond, instead she just moved aside and gestured for her to come in. The house was quiet, and seeing as though there were no cars in the driveway, Hyejoo was home alone.

“Are you hungry?” Hyejoo suddenly asked, and Chaewon shook her head.

“I had lunch before I came over.” She answered. “But thank you.” 

“Yeah it’s no problem.” Hyejoo responded. Her answers were short and her eyes constantly avoided Chaewon’s. 

The awkwardness between them right now was seriously about to swallow the smaller girl up. She didn’t know what to say. Or even what to do. She highly doubts Hyejoo was expecting company, especially from her. They hadn’t spoken at all since then. Not even a simple text. Even ignoring each other's social media posts when they used to always like or leave comments on each other's things. But Chaewon knew what she had to do. She swallowed her pride and turned to Hyejoo as they sat in her living room. 

“Hyejoo I— I’m sorry for my behavior… the last time we talked.. I was a complete asshole.” 

“Yeah you were.” She quickly responded, sighing immediately after. Chaewon could tell she hurt Hyejoo’s feelings. And she didn’t understand why this bothered her more than anything. She never really cared much for other people’s feelings. Especially those that weren’t family. But the bond she shared with Hyejoo was different. And she couldn’t help but feel empty inside when they hadn’t spoken. She was afraid she lost a friend. A really good friend. The only person who puts up with her shit most of the time.

“I reflected on my actions and I… I want to make it up to you somehow.” She spoke, her eyes twinkling as she searched for the taller girl's dark brown eyes. “I just don’t know how.” 

“Well your apology is a good start.” She admitted. “Never really got one of those from you before.” 

Chaewon laughed bitterly. “Honestly no one has.” 

“You should do it more often. Being cold the way you are doesn’t make you better than anyone. And all the money in the world can’t change the fact that you’re a good person deep down.” Hyejoo said softly, turning to Chaewon as her eyes softened in response to those words. “Besides, being nice looks good on you.” Hyejoo smiled.

Chaewon smiled back shyly. “You think so?” 

“I know so.”

* * *

Sooyoung did everything in her power to ignore the hunger she felt those next few days. She was only 5 days into this diet and she felt like she was going to die. She did her best to stay out of the house, it helped ignore the temptation to eat whenever their chef cooked. 

She ventured off into the city, stopping at stores and taking a look inside. She eventually made her way to a cute little music store. The woman who worked there smiling brightly at her. Her teeth were straight and white and her hair just a little past her shoulders. Her sharp eyes darted over to Sooyoung when she heard her step into the store. 

“Welcome.” She said cheerily. “Anything I can help you with?” 

“Just looking around I guess. Could you point me in the direction of your guitars?” Sooyoung questioned and the shorter woman nodded excitedly 

“Absolutely! It’s right down this way.” She smiled. Sooyoung felt her heart pumping as she passed the instruments. She felt at peace being around things that she loved. She was sure if this wasn’t her fate, in another universe she’d pursue her dream in music. But she was constantly reminded of her one purpose in this lifetime. 

When they got to the guitars Sooyoung smiled gently. “Thank you uh…” 

“Haseul!” She smiled, pointing to her nametag. “I own this place with my girlfriend.” 

“Sounds like the life.” Sooyoung smiled, looking at the shiny electric guitars in front of her.

“Hey wait a minute… you’re friends with the princess! I saw you on my news feed a few weeks ago. Is she nice?” Haseul questioned cheerily, and she was too excited to see how Sooyoung’s entire expression changed.

“She’s very nice..” 

“Awesome..” Haseul sighed satisfyingly. “Well— I’ll let you look at what you want. If you need anything I’ll be at the front.” 

Sooyoung nodded and went back to looking at the guitars. Her fingers gently rub against the cool, smooth surface of the mahogany colored guitar. She had a vivid imagination suddenly, thinking about playing the guitar for Jinsoul at their spot. Watching the waves crash and the sun set while she gracefully played the guitar for the beauty beside her. Watching the wind blow in her hair.

She smiled softly at the thought of the woman who never really left her mind. 

**_//_ **

She ended up buying the guitar. It wasn’t too expensive at least, and Haseul even let her give it a little test play to see if she liked it. With a few tunings and a little practice to get used to it, she’d be good in no time. It was placed in a case for her, and Haseul smiled once it was ready for her to take. 

“Make lovely music!” She encouraged her.

“I will.” 

“Come back some time. If you ever want another instrument for your collection.” She smiled, and Sooyoung smiled back. She left the store with the guitar case on her back. Checking the time to see if she should be heading home soon or not. She still had an hour to herself.

The walk was fun, but she became tired quickly due to not having any fumes to run on. Her legs dragged down the streets and simple movements felt sluggish and tiring. She wasn’t even sure she’d make it to her car. 

But luckily she was in the city. Specifically the marketing area, so there were many places to grab a quick bite. But she was dedicated to this stupid diet. She went into a smoothie shop and ordered a smoothie, and she drank it as she made her way back to the car. Smiling brightly at the lights on the stores as it got darker out.

She never really had much free time and even when she did she never thought to come here and have some fun alone. But she was glad she did. She finished her smoothie by the time she got back to her car, the one Lucas had bought her. Red bugatti with her name engraved in the leather seats. She figured she’d finally give it a test drive so it wasn’t just sitting there to rot.

She wasn’t too big on cars like that. But she also wasn’t ungrateful, so she’d manage. When she got home, Rowoon had just come from somewhere in the house. He was quite sweaty, so Sooyoung figured he was working out. She gave a gentle smile before tossing her keys onto the table. 

“I see you’ve bought me a little something?” He playfully asked, and Sooyoung laughed for a second. Entertaining his antics as always. 

“No. I bought it for myself. But you can see if you’d like?” She offered and he smiled.

“I’d love to see.” 

She gestured for him to follow her to the living room where she placed the guitar case onto the empty sofa. Opening it and taking the guitar out. He seemed genuinely infatuated by it. “That’s the most beautiful guitar I’ve ever seen.” He admitted, grabbing from her gently and examining it.

“I got it from this popular music store in the city.. I’ll probably go back again one of these days to buy some picks, it slipped my mind.” She sighed.

“That’s alright.” He smiled. “Say.. I’m going to shower and then after that we’ll eat dinner. Our chef prepared something delicious tonight.” He kissed her cheek before leaving her in the living room alone. She made her way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water as the woman looked at her.

“You’ve been awfully quiet these days.” Yongsun said to her and Sooyoung chuckled.

“I’ve been busy that’s all.” 

“Surely you have. You are a bride to be.” The woman teased and Sooyoung rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. Thanks for dinner tonight.” Sooyoung said. She felt like she should tell the woman thank you for cooking so much because Sooyoung couldn’t eat any of it. So she wanted to let her know her efforts hadn’t gone to waste. She sat in the living room and put the drops into her drink, watching the clear water turn into the cloudy color she had gotten so sick of seeing already.

She held her nose and drank it down before Rowoon returned not too long after. She’d fallen asleep on the couch that night, and Rowoon just watched her. She had a long day, so he didn’t bother her. He just ate dinner alone and suggested she go upstairs, but she refused. She wanted to lay here, mainly because she felt so lightheaded she couldn’t move. 

So he got a blanket for her and a pillow and tucked her in. Kissing her goodnight. “I love you Sooyoung, goodnight.” And she kept her eyes closed, pretending she’d fallen back to sleep already. 

She stayed up for hours that night trying to wait for her stomach to calm down. By the time she slept again, it was 5 am, and she’d woken up around 1pm that next day. Her head was aching miserably, and the moment she got up she was grumpy. She ate a simple apple just to maybe relieve herself for a bit. But it only helped for some time before she was lightheaded again. 

Rowoon returned home just 3 hours after she had awakened. And his entire existence had annoyed her because of how noisy he was the second he arrived. Mainly because he had invited a friend over. “Hey I’m going to be in the entertainment room with a friend from work.” 

“Okay.” Sooyoung simply replied, trying to ignore the ache she felt and the emptiness in her stomach. 

“You alright?”

“Better than ever.” She said sarcastically. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

She laughed bitterly. “Why do you think my moods always have something to do with you?” She questioned and he sighed deeply.

“Because you never tell me anything and last night you slept here instead of with me.” 

“Maybe I just didn’t feel like getting up?” 

Rowoon laughed. “I could’ve carried you.” 

“Thanks, but no thanks.” She replied. “Don’t you have a friend waiting for you?” 

“I can’t check on you now?” 

“You don’t need to. I’m fine, and I don’t feel like being bothered right now.” She said, and he just shook his head before leaving her alone. 

**_//_ **

She slept in much later these days, mainly because her body was so drained and she was so tired. And sleeping was the best way to ignore her hunger. 

And whenever she was downstairs she sat in one spot. Which was on the sofa, the tv on and the volume down low. Every movement of hers felt like a workout because of the strength she lost from going a week now without anything really in her body. 

Rowoon sat with her for a while too, before he started irritating her. She was obviously not in the mood to talk, not to mention he was eating a perfectly good looking sandwich right beside her when his mother is the reason she was fucked up. She couldn’t fully blame him, but fuck he did have a place in all of this. Even if she told him what was happening he wouldn’t go against his mom. He was a scared little boy. 

“I just seriously don’t get why she didn’t just confess to the cops. Now she’s in even more trouble.” He pointed out, still rambling on regardless of Sooyoung not even speaking. She couldn’t explain how she felt but she felt like she’d faint any second now. The room felt like it was spinning and her head still ached. So did her body, and her stomach grumbled loudly. 

And the sight of Rowoon eating with no worries pissed her off even more. “On top of that, she has her family getting involved in this all too. It’s seriously—“

“ _Please_.. shut up.” Sooyoung muttered and Rowoon turned to her. 

“What?”

“Stop talking please.” 

“Why?” 

“I have a headache.. I just need you to be quiet. There’s a reason I sit in here alone.” 

He turned back to his plate and tossed his sandwich down. “When did you become such a _bitch_ Sooyoung?” He questioned angrily, and she felt her heart drop at the name she was called.

“Rowoon I have a headache. Don’t start with me… seriously—“

“I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me that then? Instead of pushing me away, telling me to shut up? You have a mouth, you can use it.” 

“I could say the same for you.” She fired back, and he looked at her before chuckling.

“Still mad at me about my mom huh?” He laughed again. “Seriously when will you stop with this—“

She stood up quickly. “ _Stop?_. She put her fucking hands on me and I didn’t tell you because you’re so far up her ass you can’t see anything going on around you.” She snapped, her head aching even more now. “I’m seriously just so sick of all of this _shit_.. I’m being put through to marry a boy.” 

“A boy?” 

“You’re not a man. You’re a scared little boy.” 

“And you’re a broke bitch and yet I fell for who you are as a person. I could just leave, but no, I stay here and endure your random outbursts on me and put up with you shit talking my mom.” He snapped. He could see the look in her eyes change after he said that. “Look… I didn’t mean that.” 

“You did. And you’re right. I am broke. But if I had an option, I certainly wouldn’t settle down with a coward like you.” 

“I see we’re the same then.” He clenched his jaw. “Cowards. You’re just as afraid of her as I am.” 

“I have too much to lose.” Sooyoung sighed. 

“Sooyoung do you honestly even love me?” He questioned and she laughed.

“Yeah, I do.” In a way she did. But overall, not so much. But she honestly could feel this overwhelming hatred for him bubbling up inside of her. Mainly from his mother. And he was to blame because he was the reason she was there. And she especially hated her parents. Auctioning her off like she was some whore with no morals and no dreams. She had dreams. Plenty of them. And she’d never achieve them because her purpose in life was to become rich for her family and give them a better life. 

To marry into a rich family and then have a rich family of her own. But she didn’t want this. She never wanted this, and yet this was what things had come to. She could barely stand straight without feeling her body slightly tilting over. But she didn’t want to be near Rowoon either. 

“Love me enough to marry me?” 

“Don’t you think it’s a little too late to be asking questions like this? The wedding is close. The planning has basically been done. I have my wedding dress… even if I didn’t want this, it’d be far too late now.” She scoffed. 

“I want to marry you. But you’re being quite difficult lately. I mean… we don’t even have _sex_ anymore.” He pointed out. “I mean.. we used to have it all of the time.. and you loved it. What happened? Where did I go wrong?” 

_You’re not Jinsoul._

“Rowoon stop… I’m not having this conversation with you. My head is fucking killing me.” She mumbled, and just as she moved to leave the living room she felt his grip on her once again. Tightening around her wrist and pushing her against the wall. She had no strength to fight him back. He pressed his lips against hers and she pushed him away. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m doing my wife.” 

“No… you’re not. I’m going upstairs.” 

“Hey—“ He grabbed her once again, and she stood in the main area just before the stairs as he held her tightly in place. “Sooyoung… I’m your fiancée.” 

“I don’t want to have sex with you.. I’m tired, Rowoon. And we literally just fought. You called me a bitch. You think I want to sleep with someone like that?” 

“You don’t think you deserved it?”

“I didn’t. And I still don’t. So just fuck off, before I have my brother intervene the next time you put your hands on me.”

He dragged her off the stairs to the point she fell to the floor. “Rowoon!” She shouted, and he tried to calm her down and hold her into place.

“You’re going to tell your brother on me? As if I can’t just pay a few people to keep you in this house?” 

“Get off of me!” She shouted, as Yongsun came from the kitchen. Pushing the man off of Sooyoung roughly.

“Have you lost your damn mind?” She questioned, helping Sooyoung up. “Putting your hands on a woman.” 

“I-I didn’t hit her.” He defended.

“But you touched her. And you ragdolled her… look at her, she’s so much smaller than you are. What has happened to you?” The woman questioned and Rowoon just stood there.

“After tonight, I don’t want to see you here anymore. Tell the company to send another chef. I don’t need someone that’s doing anything but their job.” He said, turning away. 

He was gone for the rest of the day, and returned that night. He was surprised to see Sooyoung was in bed that night, and he sighed. He was drunk, and he thought about the fight they had and how out of control he got. He wished he could turn things around and take it back. But it was done, and things would never be the same from here. But he had to try his best to close the wounds he opened. 

He changed into his night clothes and cuddled up to Sooyoung’s back, kissing her goodnight and holding her close. And she hadn’t moved once that night. Her body was terribly weak.

* * *

“Be careful!” Heejin shouted. “I’ll be right here okay?” She smiled at the twins, letting them run off to the playground. She sat in the grass on her blanket, waiting patiently for her friend to show up. 

It took her some time but she eventually did. Sitting beside Heejin on the blanket with a bottle of water in her hand. “Finally.” Heejin teased with a bright smile. Wearing a sun hat to shield herself from the scorching sun. Sooyoung did the exact opposite. Wanting her skin to feel some sun on her skin. She made sure to put on sunscreen and bug spray. “I have some food I made so we can eat on our little picnic date together.” She laughed as she rummaged through it.

“I’m alright.. not that hungry actually.” Sooyoung reassured her. “But I might take some home if that’s okay?” 

“Of course.” Heejin smiled. “The kids wanted to go out today so I figured I’d bring them here.. and also invite you.” 

“I appreciate it. I’m going crazy being in the house all of the time.” She said monotonous. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Sooyoung quickly turned to her, and Heejin could see the bags under her eyes. Much larger than her usual ones, and her skin was sickly pale. “Yeah, just a bit stressed is all.” 

“You look sick.” Heejin pointed out.

“I’m alright… how is Hyunjin?” She quickly changed the subject, and although Heejin picked up on what she was doing, she knew better than to push Sooyoung.

She sighed. “She’s good, she’s visiting family though so, I told her i’d go and do something with the kids today.” 

“Playgrounds are always fun.” Sooyoung smiled, for once, she smiled. “I used to like going on the monkey bars.” 

“I was more of a swing person.” Heejin admitted. “Seokwoo don’t put that in your mouth!” She shouted, standing up quickly and excusing herself.

Sooyoung instantly grabbed the bottle from beside her and downed as much as she could before Heejin returned. She got about halfway through by the time Heejin was done scolding the boys. When she returned, she shook her head. “Boys are a handful.” 

“Maybe next time i’ll get some goddaughters.” Sooyoung smiled.

“Oh no. This market is closed.” They both laughed. “I’d like to have a goddaughter or son one of these days from a little someone special.” 

“Don’t look forward to it then.” Sooyoung instantly shut that down. 

“You don’t want kids?” Heejin questioned and Sooyoung thought for a moment. It’s not that she didn’t want them. She just couldn’t see herself being a good parent, nor could she see herself having a child with a man. 

“I do but, I don’t know. Not with my current relationship anyway.” She confessed and Heejin’s eyebrows perked up.

“And why is that?” 

“Because men are disgusting Heej..” Sooyoung laughed almost sadly.

“You told no lies there.” She reached into her basket and pulled out two drinks. “Let’s drink lemonade..” She handed one to Sooyoung, and she figured it wouldn’t be too bad. 

It was the best thing she’d ever tasted. Or maybe it was because she literally hadn’t really drank or eaten anything else lately. It was so refreshing. The boys quickly ran over to them both, laughing and smiling. One of them sitting on Sooyoung’s lap. His bright eyes that resembled his mother’s. “Can I have some?” He cutely asked, and Sooyoung didn’t hesitate to give him it. 

She held him as he drank what was left of her lemonade, smiling as he spoke to his mom. “We’re going to be heading home soon okay? So go and play on one more thing and then come back.” 

“Okay mommy!” They quickly jumped from each of the girl’s laps and ran back onto the playground.

“They’re adorable.” 

“Adorable? Yes. Good? No…” Heejin admitted. “But I still love them with all of my heart.” 

“You’re a great mom Heejin.” 

“I try to be for them what I didn’t have.” She sadly said. “I don’t want them to ever live in a world without the love of the person that gave birth to them.” 

“Wish you were my mom…” 

“It’s not too late.” She jokingly said and Sooyoung playfully slapped her leg.

“First of all, I’m older than you. Second of all, that’s just weird honestly.” She giggled, and Heejin laughed hysterically at the thought. They relaxed for another 15 minutes or so, before Heejin was walking to get the kids. Which ended in a chase as they ran from her and jumped onto Sooyoung. She held them both in her arms as Heejin packed everything up. Taking the boys to the car and strapping them in. 

“Thanks for today Heejin.” Sooyoung smiled. “I.. really needed this actually.” 

“It’s no worry.” She smiled, hugging her tightly. “Stop by one of these days. The boys adore you.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Love you Sooyoung.” 

“Love you too.”

* * *

Jinsoul knew something was off when Rowoon showed up to the charity dinner alone. And not being accompanied by the woman she longed to see every single day of her life. It’d been too long since she was able to see those beautiful eyes and those kissable lips. It’d been too long since she was in the presence of Sooyoung. Basking in all of her love and glory. 

She’d never had someone look at her the way Sooyoung did. Or maybe she had, and she just ignored it. Being watched so closely was only flattering when it was from someone she was attracted to. Without Sooyoung there, Jinsoul was practically a third wheel. The boys conversing about things she didn’t really care for. 

If Sooyoung was there, she’d at least have someone to look at. Share knowing glances with each other. Things they couldn’t say with their mouth being communicated through the gazes they had. 

The dinner lasted much longer than Jinsoul would have liked, and she drank the entire time. So by the time they got home she was having trouble lifting her head. Lucas as well. But he was able to carry her upstairs with no problem. The both of them giggling as they got undressed. Another opportunity for Lucas. Jinsoul was drunk out of her mind, her brain convincing her it was Sooyoung who was above her right now. 

Touching her and leaving marks everywhere. But she knew it wasn’t. Because his hands weren’t as soft as Sooyoung’s were. And his lips didn’t linger on her skin long enough to leave a mark like Sooyoung’s did. And he didn’t admire Jinsoul’s body when he went down on her. Getting straight to the point. No foreplay like the charming woman did. She scolded herself, for even comparing. But it was impossible. Sooyoung came into her life and flipped everything upside down. 

She wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. She just knew she wanted Sooyoung. To be with her, just in her presence at least. To kiss her whenever she pleased and to be held by her. 

She was completely distracted by her thoughts. Her heart fluttering at the thought of possibly seeing her soon. She really hoped Sooyoung would be down to share a place with her. A place they could escape to, just them two. She often lies awake at night, imagining what it’d be like to wake up to Sooyoung beside her. And she’d smile so brightly she thought her cheeks would fall off. 

Thankfully, that night, they were both drunk. Because Jinsoul made a grave mistake. A mistake that could’ve caused her problems she couldn’t back out of. Although Lucas was the one making her feel good, she couldn’t help but think of Sooyoung. She wanted her so badly. Her heart ached without her. She hated how easily she fell for Sooyoung. Willing to risk everything just to be near her. To have her and protect her from this cruel world. 

Her climax was arriving, and although she felt like she was in the clouds, it wasn’t _Sooyoung_. 

“Soo—“ Jinsoul moaned, trying to stop her rambling tongue. “Soo– soo…” She moaned once again, opening her eyes and remembering it was her husband above her. And she could tell he was close, and she could also tell he wasn’t wearing a condom. Once again. 

“Stop—“ She said, abruptly pushing him off and pulling the blankets up to her chest. 

“What? What happened?” He scrambled towards her. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No I just… I don’t want to do this anymore.. I’m tired.” 

“Baby we were both so close..” Lucas whined and Jinsoul felt sick to her stomach.

“Lucas I don’t want to have a kid.” She bluntly said. “And I know my parents are putting you up to this. But i’m kindly asking you to stop.” She pleaded, and his mouth fell open as no words spilled out. She’d known the whole plan already. Thanks to Mark, who told her the second she returned to the house recently. 

“You don’t want to have kids at all?” He questioned and she sighed.

_I don’t want to have kids with you._

“Maybe one day..” 

“We’re not getting any younger Jinsoul.” He warned and she shook her head.

“I hope you respect my choices.” 

Lucas quickly moved over to her and caressed her cheek. “Of course… I always will.” He said. “All I ever want is for you to be happy.. I’ll do anything to keep you happy.” 

“Thank you..” Jinsoul quietly said, laying down and closing her eyes. She felt sick, like she was betraying Sooyoung somehow. Letting this man have his way with her, but thankfully she stopped it. Not only before he could get his release, but she was pretty sure she nearly moaned Sooyoung’s name. She didn’t even know how she’d defend herself in that situation. There was no explanation for that. But she fought it, and she stopped it, and now she lay wide awake with Sooyoung on her mind.

The image of her smiling tattooed in Jinsoul’s brain. Like a little reminder that someone as beautiful as she did was existing and she was in her life. It was crazy to Jinsoul, how she ended up in Sooyoung’s grasp. She’d met 100’s of people in her lifetime, but Sooyoung was the one person she connected with so easily. Maybe she did believe in fate. Because it was as if the universe purposely made them meet each other in this lifetime. And she wasn’t complaining.

The only complaints she had, was the fact that she could never really truly have Sooyoung to herself. Only every once in a while. Which is why she had to see her soon. Not only because she missed her, but because she needed to speak to her. 

So that next day, after breakfast with Lucas she texted Sooyoung. It took her about an hour to respond, but when she did, she used a smiley face. And Jinsoul couldn’t help but smile down at the screen as she typed a few things back. 

They met up at a bar, sitting in their own area thanks to Jinsoul’s status. They were further away from the normal crowd, giving them their own privacy of some sort. Jinsoul couldn’t stop smiling the second she spotted Sooyoung. Her long dark hair flowing down her back as she looked around. Jinsoul lightly tapped her security guard and asked him to guide Sooyoung to the booth. A tray of shots already delivered to her table. 

Sooyoung smiled softly when she saw Jinsoul. All of the stress she’d been feeling suddenly fluttering away the moment she was in her embrace. Jinsoul hugged her so tightly, and Sooyoung hugged her back too. Her hands on her lower back as she relaxed into Jinsoul’s warmth. 

“It’s been far too long..” Jinsoul said, sitting back down as Sooyoung sat across from her. “How’s everything?”

“Could be better.” Sooyoung responded weakly. “How are you?”

“Good now.” She softly said, looking back over to Sooyoung. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but she looked drastically different. Still beautiful, but something was off. 

But Sooyoung smiled at her words, looking over the drinks in front of them. “All of these are for us?” 

“Sure is.” Jinsoul smiled, grabbing one. “Lets have one together?” She insisted and Sooyoung didn’t hesitate. It’s been a while since she drank. They clinked their glasses and downed them, both of them giggling after the smooth shot went down. 

Jinsoul requested for their booth to be closed off with the curtain, giving them some more privacy. She scooted closer to Sooyoung now, leaning her head onto her shoulder. She missed her terribly, and she felt whole again being in her presence. 

Sooyoung gently rested her head against Jinsoul’s, placing her hand onto her thigh. They were only about 4 shots in each. But Sooyoung hardly had any food in her system so the drinks got to her much quicker than they did for Jinsoul. 

But Jinsoul was slowly getting there. Feeling braver with each passing second. Her lips pressed against Sooyoung’s neck and kissing along her jawline. “Don’t get married..” Jinsoul whined playfully and Sooyoung giggled, her hand tightly gripping Jinsoul’s thigh. 

“If only it were that easy.” 

“It is.. I have money. We can leave this country together.” 

“I have family here..” 

“I’ll take care of them too.” 

“You’re crazy.”

“For you.. I am.” She turned Sooyoung towards her and pulled her into a kiss. The feel of her lips against hers sending electricity through her veins. The intoxicating feeling of Sooyoung’s lips and hands on her. Her brain turned to mush the longer she kissed her. Never wanting it to end. Never wanting to separate from her even for air. She felt like her heart would explode any second now. The overwhelming feeling that Sooyoung radiated onto her. 

And suddenly Sooyoung’s lips were on her neck, leaving searing hot kisses along her jawline and slowly making her way to the center of her neck. Her hand slowly traveled up Jinsoul’s skirt and gripped her thigh tightly. Hearing a gasp leaving Jinsoul’s lips made Sooyoung smirk against her skin. She felt hot, her entire body felt like she could burst into flames. 

And despite how good it felt having Sooyoung all over her, obviously wanting her in more than one way. She couldn’t ignore how shaky Sooyoung was. “Are you cold?” She suddenly asked.

“No.” 

“Why are you shaking so much then?” 

Sooyoung stopped her movements and backed away. “I’m not shaking.” 

“You are baby… look at you..” She grabbed her hands and could see the way Sooyoung trembled. “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

Sooyoung quickly snatched her hand away. “I’m fine. Really.. don’t worry about me.” 

Jinsoul frowned but she was completely thrown off by Sooyoung downing another shot and moving to press her cold lips against Jinsoul’s soft warm ones. The taste of alcohol was prevalent with the kiss, especially when she slipped her tongue past Jinsoul’s lips. Wanting a taste of her, to feel just how hot she was. She felt lightheaded, for many different reasons now. One of them being how good she felt with Jinsoul. She hadn’t felt this free in weeks. 

But with Jinsoul, it seemed as if the world stopped and allowed her to breathe for a moment. 

She often wondered would she be able to breathe normally if she was always with Jinsoul. The person who made her feel safe every second she was with her. 

And although the thoughts constantly crossed her mind and ate her alive, she was sure that when it came down to it, Jinsoul was the only one she wanted. She was the only one she could imagine herself with. Her hands are the only hands she wants to hold. Her lips are the only lips she ever wants to kiss. Her hands are the only hands she wanted on her body, touching her, comforting her. 

But the way everything was right now, she couldn’t see it happening. And that broke her. And if it broke her, she knew it would break Jinsoul. 

**_//_ **

“This beach is always empty at this time of night..” Jinsoul said as they walked along the empty boardwalk. Hand in hand as they watched the ocean from afar. “I figured we’d be safe from the media here.” 

“I hope you’re right..” Sooyoung responded. Jinsoul turned to her, and immediately frowned at the sight of Sooyoung. She didn’t look too well.

“Sooyoung.. you’re so pale.” She pointed out, stepping in front of the taller girl. “Are you sick?”

“Maybe just a fever.” Sooyoung tried to reassure her.

“Your face is so thin…” She frowned. “Sooyoung are you taking care of yourself?” 

“Yes I’m just stressed. I’m okay, I swear.” She lied. It took everything in her to even come out of the house tonight. But she did it for Jinsoul, and of course for herself. She kissed Jinsoul softly, and the shorter girl let her. Melting into the kiss under the night sky. “Please don’t worry..” 

“Don’t stress too much then. You look like you’re a day away from death.” 

She honestly felt like she was. But she smiled brightly, to ease Jinsoul’s worries as they continued to walk along the boardwalk. “I um.. I wanted to propose an idea to you..” Jinsoul shyly spoke, avoiding Sooyoung’s eyes that searched for hers. 

“What is it?” 

“I um— I was thinking maybe buying a place for us to stay together.. not to live just, somewhere to relax whenever we want to see each other.” She explained. “Away from everyone and everything.. only if you’re okay with it, of course.” She quickly added, and Sooyoung laughed lightheartedly.

“That sounds a little… risky, but i’m not totally against the idea either..” Sooyoung truthfully replied. “How do you know we’ll be away from everyone there?” 

“It’s far from here. About an hour drive.. outside of the city. No one will know where we are.. we can just be with each other, with no worries.. I’ll even cook you breakfast.” Jinsoul smiled.

“Cook me breakfast?” Sooyoung pretended she was thinking hard, resulting in a cute laugh from Jinsoul. She playfully pushed Sooyoung away from her, but quickly ran back to her. Linking their arms together. “Now we’re talking..” She kissed her cheek.

“Seriously though, would you be okay with it?” 

“I’d absolutely be okay with it.” She smiled softly. “Only if you’re 100% sure it’s safe.” 

“It is. I swear on it.” She kissed her again. “Don’t you trust me?” 

Sooyoung turned to her slowly. “More than anyone..”

* * *

“You’re ridiculous..” Jungeun said as she stepped out of the car. The driveway leading up to a beautiful modern home. A koi pond just before you get to the stairs of the home. Jinsoul smiled at the home in front of her. “But you have taste…” 

“Wait till you see the inside.” Jinsoul smiled, running up the stairs and pulling Jungeun alongside her. She took out her keys and opened the door, stepping in and allowing Jungeun to see.

“Holy shit…..” Her jaw dropped as she walked in further. “This place is fucking amazing.” 

“The backyard has a pool and hot tub.” She smiled, walking over to the window and pointing down. 

“Shit do you guys have room in your relationship for me?!” Jungeun shouted. 

“I only have space for one person sorry.. also we’re not in a relationship.” Jinsoul sighed.

And Jungeun scoffed. “Could’ve fooled me.. how many rooms does it have?” 

“Just two. It’s only gonna be me and Sooyoung here for the most part. No one is allowed past the gates unless they know the code.” 

“Top notch security, clever. I like it.” 

“I can’t put her in a position where we could get caught and jeopardize everything..” 

Jungeun just walked around. Taking in the living room area of the home. Leather seats and a flatscreen tv hanging directly above it. A cute bar area towards the wall and a dining area you had to step up to access. It was beautiful, for once she actually felt warm in a place of Jinsoul’s. The fridge had double doors and there was a tiny refrigerator installed into the lower cabinets full of energy drinks and already prepared sandwiches. 

“Sometimes I love the fact that you have money…” Jungeun said in awe. “So when is the hot babe coming over?” She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

“It’s Sooyoung to you.” Jinsoul playfully glared at her friend, resulting in Jungeun laughing. “And tomorrow. She’ll be over after she attends a brunch with her fiancée.” 

“She’s going to love this place.” Jungeun said excitedly, walking towards the hall to check out the bathroom and the bedrooms. The room Jinsoul planned on staying in had lights wrapping around the room. 

“I can change them to different colors too.” She picked up the remote and pressed the color she wanted to change it to. One of them being a pretty ocean blue color. 

“Awesome…” Jungeun smiled, turning to Jinsoul. “The sex is going to be emaculate in here.” 

“Jungeun….” Jinsoul blushed and turned away.

“I’m teasing!!! But she’s gonna love this place. It’s really nice Jinsoul.” 

“I hope so..”

* * *

“I’ll be with my brother this weekend.” She said to Rowoon as she packed her things. A total lie that she didn’t mind doing anymore. Especially after the shit he pulled recently. He just watched her with a sad look on his face.

“Sooyoung.. I feel like there’s a rift happening between us..” 

“What makes you think that?” 

“You’re shutting me out.. we’re arguing all of the time..” 

She laughed. “Because I need space to _think_. I can’t even wipe my ass without you there. You don’t need to be around me every second of every day.. it’s exhausting.” She confessed, leaving him dumbfounded.

“Oh..” 

“Which is why I’m going away to spend time with my brother for the weekend.” She said, zipping it closed. “I’ll be back on Monday.” 

“My parents will be over for dinner Monday night.” He said.

“Great.” She sarcastically said. “Looking forward to it.” 

He grabbed her bag and carried it out to the car. Opening the door for her as well once she put her bag into the car. “I love you Sooyoung.” He kissed her forehead softly.

“I’ll be home before you know it.” Was all she responded before closing the door and starting the car. He just watched as she drove off, waving and going back into the house. 

He’d go out and do something but he had to be up for work, so he didn’t even bother. Maybe tomorrow he could hang out with Lucas. 

**_//_ **

Just as Sooyoung was pulling up after a long drive, Jinsoul sent her a text. Giving her the code to the gates so she could have it if the guards weren’t there to allow access. 

They stopped her, informing Jinsoul she had company. “Ma’am, we have a young woman down here by the name of Sooyoung—“

“Let her in.” She simply said, and the man opened the gates. The area had high walls so no one could get over or look in the area. The lights were on as she drove up to the driveway and parked behind Jinsoul. Sooyoung was in shock at how beautiful the area was even before arriving at the home. Her mouth actually dropped when she saw the koi pond. She grabbed her bag and walked up the stairs, stepping inside and seeing Jinsoul run towards her. 

Sooyoung immediately dropped the bag and held the girl in her arms as she wrapped her legs around her waist. Placing kisses all over her face as she greeted her. In that moment, Sooyoung realized she wouldn’t mind coming home to this all of the time. She held Jinsoul tightly as she kissed her, the woman slowly releasing her grip around Sooyoung. 

“Jinsoul this place is insane…” She said as she looked around, still in disbelief.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” 

“I could name something that’s way more beautiful.” She smiled and Jinsoul shyly turned away.

“Don’t talk about yourself that way.” 

“I’m talking about you silly.” She kissed her cheek and looked around. Jinsoul guided her around, showing her where everything was and showing the room they’d be sleeping in together. 

“This bed is so comfy.” Sooyoung sighed softly as she lay down onto the soft bed. The pillows greeted her the moment she lay there. Jinsoul calmly watched her from the doorway. A content smile on her face at the sight of Sooyoung in front of her once again. But this time they were alone, with no interruptions or worries.

“You’ll sleep well in that bed.” Jinsoul smiled.

“Because of the mattress or because I’ll be sleeping with you for the first time?” 

“Both.” She smirked. “Are you hungry?” 

“No. I’m fine.. I’ll have some water though.” She quickly replied, sitting up and walking to the kitchen. The smaller woman following right behind her as Sooyoung opened the fridge. Her eyes widened at the food inside of it. Fresh fruits and such. 

“If you get hungry I can cook you something.” Jinsoul offered once again and Sooyoung just smiled, grabbing a water and closing the fridge. She held Jinsoul in her arms and kissed her. Taking a second to admire the woman in front of her. The fact that they were alone and they could just do this made her heart pound. She could live like this forever. 

They didn’t do much that night, just appreciating the other’s presence. Sooyoung rested her head in Jinsoul’s lap as they watched whatever they could find on tv. 

She felt so at peace being with Jinsoul. Feeling her soft hands running through her hair. The way she’d bend down every so often to place a kiss on Sooyoung’s cheek or to ask if she was okay. 

The past few weeks had been so _hard_. But it seemed like every worry she ever had vanished when she heard Jinsoul speak. Or when she saw that million dollar smile of hers. Jinsoul had to be the most beautiful person she ever laid eyes on, and she was terrified to admit she felt herself falling too. Which only meant her inevitable fate would break the both of them. She’d be getting married very soon. The ending of july was coming much sooner than she expected. 

Her heart sank at the thought of hurting Jinsoul. But it was completely out of her control. Everything was out of her control and it made her feel so useless at times. But she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, reminding herself that she was here now. With the woman who made her feel safe and content. Away from all of their problems just for a few days. 

It was midnight now, and Jinsoul suggested they get ready for bed. She undressed quickly, covering her body with a towel. “I’m going to shower, you’re welcome to join if you’d like.” She smiled, before leaving the room. 

Jinsoul didn’t know why her heart pumped way faster than she could handle just at the fact that Sooyoung didn’t even watch her undress. Keeping her eyes on anything else but the naked woman in front of her. Jinsoul wasn’t really trying to tempt her, per say.. but she was there, and Sooyoung didn’t even ogle over her like men usually would. It was bare minimum. But it was nice to not be looked at like a piece of meat or a prop for some man’s pleasure. 

Sooyoung was perfect. In many, many ways. But her heart had to be the part that got Jinsoul the most.

**_//_ **

Jinsoul left the door cracked in case Sooyoung wanted to join. Her eyes closed as the water hit her face and she rinsed the shampoo from her hair. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt arms around her. She wasn’t sure how she didn’t hear Sooyoung come in. But she most likely tried her best to stay quiet.

Her soft lips kissed Jinsoul’s bare shoulder. “Hi..” She softly said, and Jinsoul turned to her. A wide smile on her face at the sight of the woman who flipped her entire world upside down. 

“Hi Sooyoung..” She quietly said back, kissing those tempting lips. She took a moment to take in Sooyoung’s features. She looked so drained and Jinsoul could tell the stress was taking a toll on her and it made her heart ache. She placed her hand gently onto her cheek and sighed. “I wish I could protect you from anything that could ever hurt you..” 

Sooyoung sadly smiled, kissing her back briefly. The water hitting both of their bare bodies. It was something special about the fact they were practically naked in front of each other, fully, for the first time, and yet they couldn’t stop staring into each other’s eyes. Afraid that if they looked away for even a second the image of the other would disappear. But Jinsoul was sure that wouldn’t happen. Because all she thought about was the woman in front of her. She dreamed of her, imagined a life with her. Sooyoung was completely tattooed on her heart. There was no denying this overwhelming feeling of love she had for her.

“You already do… you’re protecting me right now.” Sooyoung admitted. “I feel— free right now…. for the first time in years. I can breathe again.” 

She didn’t respond to that instead she kissed her. 

She gently used a loofah against the smooth skin, cleansing Sooyoung of all of her worries. Gently massaging her body in the process, kissing her neck gently and helping her rinse off. Sooyoung did the same to her, except she held Jinsoul so close she could feel her heart beating against her back. She didn’t want this to end. Despite the hot water hitting their skin, it didn’t compare to the heat their bodies produced being so close to each other. 

And when they finished, Sooyoung gently dried Jinsoul’s face with a towel. No words were exchanged, just small glances and soft giggles. 

If Jinsoul could kiss the other woman every second of the day she would. She truly couldn’t get enough of Sooyoung. And it was killing her inside slowly and yet filling her up with so many emotions that she couldn’t comprehend. The only way for her to deal with it was to simply just let it happen. To let herself fall hopelessly for Sooyoung, even if it meant she’d get her heart broken in the end.

Because she had no regrets in loving Sooyoung, regardless of if she ended up with her or not. It was a privilege to love Sooyoung and have her love you, and she was glad she got to experience it. Even if it was just for a little… 

**_//_ **

“Look, the lights change colors.” Jinsoul excitedly said, using the remote to flip between different ones. Sooyoung looked around like an excited puppy, her smile shining brightly in the dimly lit room. 

Sooyoung beckoned her over, allowing Jinsoul to straddle her, innocently. Sooyoung just watched her play with the remote settings, smiling softly at the excitement Jinsoul displayed from such a simple thing. “You’re adorable.” 

“Me? I’m not doing anything…” 

“You’re like a little kid in a candy store.” She giggled and Jinsoul frowned.

“I just like them.. they’re cute.” 

“They are. But so are you.” 

“Are you flirting with me Ha Sooyoung?” 

Sooyoung smirked. “And if I am? Princess Jinsoul?” 

“Don’t call me that.” Jinsoul whined as Sooyoung gently pushed her down onto the bed. Hovering beside her as she propped herself up with her elbow. Her hair falling over her hand slightly. Their bare legs intertwined as they stayed as close as possible to each other.

“What? Princess? But you are a princess..” Sooyoung pointed out, the confusion expressed across her face. 

“I don’t want to be a princess if I’m not _your_ princess.” She softly said. 

Sooyoung wasn’t even sure what to say. She just stood there with her eyes on Jinsoul, her lips slightly parted as her brain scrambled to find something to say. “You want to be my princess?” 

Jinsoul nodded, sitting up slightly and looking directly at Sooyoung. The both of them were just leaning on their elbows and looking into each other’s eyes. “I’d rather you be my Queen than my princess.” 

“Likewise— but for now, I’ll gladly be your princess.” She kissed her softly at first, smiling against the soft lips that accepted hers lovingly. 

It was something so enticing about having Sooyoung all to herself. All alone. Far away from the others that infested their day to day life. 

Sooyoung watched as Jinsoul removed her top with confidence. Tossing it across the room and smirking as she leaned back down to kiss Sooyoung. Feeling her body nearly explode at the feeling of her hands along her back, residing on her waist as she kissed her passionately. 

She was barely even doing anything to Jinsoul and she felt like she was experiencing something otherworldly. “You’re so beautiful…” Sooyoung complimented, and she meant it. Every compliment she gave Jinsoul she meant it. 

She removed all of her clothes, their bare bodies against the other. Touching whatever part they could. They weren’t rough with each other. Taking their time to explore each other, figuring out what they liked. And they were completely sober. Smiling and giggling. Moaning against each other’s lips when Jinsoul would grind down onto Sooyoung. Their centers touched as they held each other tightly. Sooyoung’s nails scratched Jinsoul’s back as she gasped from the pleasure she felt. 

It felt like they had become one. Helping each other chase their climax. Jinsoul gave in first, her body falling limp atop of Sooyoung, in which she cutely apologized. “S-Sorry… it just felt so good.” She giggled shyly, her cheeks a bright red from how embarrassed she was. 

“You don’t have to apologize princess.” Sooyoung said breathily and Jinsoul smiled. 

“I’ll make it up to you.” She kissed her lips softly, trailing down her body and leaving wet kisses wherever she could. She spread her legs and did what she knew Sooyoung would enjoy. Using her tongue to explore the sweetness of the woman that made her rethink everything. Made her want to love and be loved fully and completely. She was sure this was what she wanted for the rest of her life when she heard Sooyoung moan her name.

The sound of her breathy voice would haunt her forever, teasing her whenever she couldn’t have Sooyoung. But in the moment, she soaked it all up. Overwhelming herself with the emotions she had going through her. Love, lust, infatuation, flattery. She felt like she would combust. 

And when Sooyoung came undone against her tongue she kissed her softly, again, holding her hand tightly until she relaxed. Her eyes shut tightly as she tried to even her breathing again. 

The smell of Jinsoul’s shampoo washed over her and her warmth made her not even want to move. But she had to, despite her fatigue. 

She sat up slightly, guiding Jinsoul back in between her legs, facing away from her. She held her breasts in her hands as they kissed passionately, her hand slowly traveling down Jinsoul’s stomach, past her abs and in between her legs. Jinsoul wasn’t sure why she felt nervous suddenly. Probably because she knew she would allow Sooyoung to pretty much do whatever she wanted to her at this point. She loved her. She loved everything about her, and to have Sooyoung handling her this way made her feel sparks. Her brain went wild when she felt fingers moving against her most sensitive parts.

Her lips still attached to Sooyoung as their tongues clashed and her moans spilled from her lips. This feeling of being content, safe in Sooyoung’s arms. It made her sick, knowing she wasn’t actually officially hers. But she ignored that, reminding herself Sooyoung was here now. And she was all hers. 

And when she felt fingers fill her up, she completely melted in Sooyoung’s arms, feeling her leaving sloppy kisses all over her neck. Or basically any part of Jinsoul she could latch onto. “Fuck Sooyoung—“ She whined, taking whatever she was given. Holding her arm tightly, her nails digging into the soft skin. Her eyes rolling back as she came undone. And Sooyoung held her tightly the entire time, kissing her softly and running her fingers across her skin comfortingly. 

“Breathe…” Sooyoung whispered. Laying them both down onto the bed so Jinsoul could finally catch her breath. 

Sooyoung watched Jinsoul’s pretty eyes flutter open after a few minutes of silence. The red color in the room illuminating off of her skin, her dark hair pushed over her shoulder. “You okay?” 

She smiled lazily. “Better than ever.” She admitted, shifting slightly so she could kiss her. 

Sooyoung didn’t even stop her when she felt her hand on her waist, slowly moving down to her center and entering her without a single word. She swore Sooyoung’s eyes twinkled when they made eye contact. She was gentle, and soft, and only did what Sooyoung asked of her.

“Harder…” She begged, trying to stifle her moans as best she could, until Jinsoul told her not to.

“We’re alone.. you can let go—“ She encouraged, and Sooyoung nodded, slowly but surely allowing herself to be heard. Letting herself become completely vulnerable. Clawing at Jinsoul’s skin mercilessly. 

And she knew she was coming undone when her body stiffened and her legs shook, and her grip on Jinsoul became impossibly tighter. And she moaned her name rapidly, kissing her neck and her jaw. 

Jinsoul kissed her softly, smiling like a teenager in love as they lay beside each other. She wiped her hands off with a towel and got back into bed with Sooyoung. Who was slowly drifting off to sleep. They both felt so warm inside, being able to be together, alone, sleeping peacefully. She put the blanket over their naked bodies and she rested her head on Sooyoung’s chest. 

“I love you..” Jinsoul blurted out, but she had no shame in how she felt. Sooyoung was quiet for a moment before she left a lingering kiss on her forehead. 

“I know…”

* * *

She woke up that next morning with Sooyoung by her side. Still fast asleep, looking more peaceful than she’s ever seen her. She wished Sooyoung always looked that way. She wished she didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders. She just wished Sooyoung could be happy. 

The woman didn’t even flinch when Jinsoul gently caressed her cheek with her thumb. Sleeping peacefully for the first time in; she didn’t even know how long. No one was around to force her awake. Jinsoul let her sleep for as long as she needed to. She was fine with just waiting for her to wake up. 

She gently covered her exposed body up, not wanting her to get cold. She turned the lights off in the room, letting the natural lighting from outside peak through the curtains. 

Sooyoung slowly stirred awake, smiling the second she noticed Jinsoul was still beside her. Kissing her cheek and telling her good morning. She honestly could get used to this. Waking up beside Jinsoul. Falling asleep to Jinsoul. She wouldn’t mind if her voice was the only sound she fell asleep to or her eyes were the only thing she awakened to. She’s the only person she thinks about when a love song would come on the radio and she was the very last thought that ran through her mind before she fell asleep after a long grueling day. And in that moment Sooyoung realized Jinsoul was the absolute only person she could see herself happy with.

But things weren’t this easy. And she was sure they’d never be this easy.

“I’m going to make breakfast soon.” She mentioned to the beautiful woman that lay beside her and Sooyoung had to hide her frown. She hadn’t eaten in so long… 

“That’s great..” She lied, sitting up slightly. Forgetting she was practically naked until the cool air touched her skin. “Oh—“ She said cutely, making Jinsoul laugh. 

“I’ll be in the bathroom getting cleaned up. Come join.” She insisted.

“I’ll be there in a sec.” Sooyoung wiped her eyes, standing up and grabbing some clothes to put on. A simple t-shirt with some shorts. Her eyes lowered to the bottle she’d grown to hate the past week. At least the torture was almost over with. Just a few more days of it and she’d be free. She sighed sadly at what her life had become. But she refused to let her bad thoughts ruin her time with Jinsoul, so she sucked it up. Throwing a shirt over the bottle and going to the bathroom where Jinsoul resided.

They brushed their teeth together, smiling and hip bumping each other the entire time. “I’m going to wash my face.” Sooyoung told her and she nodded.

“I am going to go put on some actual clothes.” She laughed, pointing out the fact that she was only wearing underwear. Her arm covering her bare chest. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen?” 

“Yes Princess.” Sooyoung winked in the mirror.

Jinsoul went to the room, walking around aimlessly as she freshened up. Putting on some clothes so she could start preparing breakfast. She wasn’t paying attention though, and she ended up tripping over Sooyoung’s bag. Landing hard on her leg, which only hurt for about a few seconds. She didn’t mean to be nosy, but a few things fell out of the bag, including a bottle Jinsoul had never seen before.

Eye drops? She thought. But her heart dropped when she picked it up and saw what it really was. Sooyoung quickly ran to the room after hearing the noise and her face fell when she noticed what Jinsoul was holding. “Sooyoung…” She called out shakily. “Are you starving yourself?” 

She swallowed hard as she stood in the doorway like a kicked puppy. “I can explain—“

“Sooyoung why?” 

“I went to get my dress fitted and I was told I need to slim down to fit into it better so, I-I was told to diet.” 

“Baby there are better ways to do this…” Her eyes watered.

“I know but it wasn’t my choice… please don’t cry.” She begged, stepping forward to comfort Jinsoul. 

It broke her heart to see the shit Sooyoung was being put through and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it but sit there. She just wanted to fucking pack up and move away from all of this shit. But no matter how peaceful it was being here together, they still had to remember their reality and how things would never come easy for either of them. It just hurt her so badly to see Sooyoung doing that. Especially because you could tell it was taking a toll on her. The weight loss and the paleness of her skin were concerning. “How long have you.. been doing this?” 

She cleared her throat. “Almost 2 weeks now.” 

“ _2 weeks_ without a proper meal?” Jinsoul questioned, and she could see the shame in Sooyoung’s eyes. She wasn’t blaming her. But damn it hurt to see. She couldn’t help but cry.

“Jinsoul please… stop crying.” She quickly walked over to her, sitting beside her on the bed and using her shirt to wipe her tears away quickly. She held her tightly. “I’m okay, I promise.” 

“You’re not okay Sooyoung.” She said angrily. “And this— this isn’t okay. I’m feeding you today, and you’re going to eat. You’re going to look fucking beautiful in your dress regardless of some diet or not.” 

“Jinsoul I—“

“Shut up Sooyoung.” She said. “Not in a mean way, just— I’m going to cook for you, and we’re going to enjoy breakfast and dinner.. and lunch together this weekend. No more of this.. okay?” 

Sooyoung wasn’t sure she’d win this fight. So she just nodded agreeingly. “Who put you on this diet?”

“My um… mother-in-law.” 

“Some mother-in-law she is..” 

“Well she’s also the same person that gave me a black eye… she doesn’t like me very much Jinsoul.. I just do what she tells me to because she can easily ruin my fucking life..” She felt her voice crack. “I’m so _fucking_ scared.” She began to cry and Jinsoul held her tightly. Patting her head and kissing her forehead.

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. I mean that.” Jinsoul shakily said. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she had to help Sooyoung somehow. 

She just didn’t know where to even start.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not sure what to say after a chapter like that. Other than, I hope you enjoyed ❤️


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fair warning. I didn’t proof read this chapter much so please... try to ignore typos if there are any... I can’t say how many chapters are left but just know this story is coming to an end.. **BUT** there will possibly be a sequel... or, this story might go on for a while. But for now, as you can see, the wedding is closing in, and its obvious things aren’t going to go well from there so...
> 
> Other than that, devil in disguise, I haven’t forgotten about you. There will be an update for it soon, and if not soon, just know the story WILL be completed at some point. For now, I am focusing on things I want to write and focus on. For my mental health.
> 
> All of that aside, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and more chapters to come. ❤️

* * *

Sooyoung eventually said she loved Jinsoul. Not that day, or that lust filled night. A day full of complete bliss, just being in Sooyoung’s arms. Feeding her any chance that she got. Hand feeding her fruits and making her drink lots of water. 

She’d never felt so comfortable. Preparing dinner while Sooyoung held her closely from behind. Resting her chin onto her shoulder. “You know you don’t have to stay here while I cook right?” Jinsoul cutely said, feeling a soft kiss against her cheek.

“I know… but I hate being away from you for too long.” She admitted and Jinsoul felt her cheeks burning hot. “But if you want me to go…” 

Jinsoul quickly turned around. “Now I never said that.” 

“Of course you didn’t.” 

“I’d never turn down you being near me.” She smiled. “I don’t get that too often.” 

Sooyoung smiled sadly. She wished she could always be with Jinsoul. The only person who made her feel safe in this world. It was so strange how her world turned upside down. She never saw herself falling head over heels for a woman. But it’s not like she was ever really.., totally against the idea. Although it never crossed her mind either. She’d been in relationships, plenty of them. Mostly flings. She’d experienced heartbreak, she experienced love and what it was like to want to do anything and everything for someone. But with Jinsoul, it was different. 

She didn’t mind the risk of falling for her, and possibly getting her heart broken. It was everything else that came with it. Unnecessary spotlight on a girl who hated even attending dinners with more than 20 people. 

For Jinsoul, it all seemed worth it. Until she was stuck in a position where it all seemed to be going downhill. She’d panic, and try to distance herself from the only person that made her feel worthy of love and praise. It hurt, but she had to do it. She couldn’t be selfish. Not now, not ever. 

“You’re right..” Sooyoung agreed. “And tomorrow I have to leave you again…” 

“You can always come back.. even if it's just for a night. Even if i’m not here. You have the code.. this is your home too.” Jinsoul encouraged. 

“I don’t want to be anywhere you aren’t Jinsoul.” Sooyoung admitted. “Home is wherever you are.” 

The other girl shyly laughed, turning away for a moment as she tried to get herself together. “Are you always working to make me cry or something?” She laughed. “Because you’re damn good at it.” 

“Sorry… I’m just saying.” She truthfully spoke, allowing Jinsoul to hug her gently as she leaned against the counter. “Um Soul—“ Sooyoung pointed out. 

“Hm?” She turned around, noticing the contents of the pot slowly spilling over. “Oh no!” She cutely said. She hadn’t paid close attention because she was so easily distracted by Sooyoung. As cliché as it was to say, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. It was unfair how attractive Sooyoung was. A sight most pleasing to Jinsoul. She could watch her all day. Doing absolutely nothing but watching tv. Her facial expressions when something would happen on the screen that shocked her or made her giggle. She was beautiful, she was everything Jinsoul had ever wanted. 

“Try it.” She cutely said, putting some of the homemade sauce she made onto the spoon for Sooyoung. Her eyes lit up when it seemed like Sooyoung liked it. “Good?” 

“Perfect.” 

“I found this recipe on Google.. the same way I found out how to make you some breakfast before coming here.” 

“You’ve… never cooked breakfast?” Sooyoung questioned, her mind going in circles as she tried to wrap her head around something like that.

“Sooyoung.. I’m royalty.” She pointed out. “I’ve never had to cook a day in my life.” 

“And yet here you are…” She took a sip of her wine, smiling at the woman on the opposite side of the island. 

“You deserve someone who will cook for you.” Jinsoul winked.

“You’re not a housewife Jinsoul.” Sooyoung pointed out.

“I know.. I just like playing the part. It’s fun.” She smiled, preparing Sooyoung’s plate for her. “Besides, you deserve a meal made with love! Not something your chef prepares for you.” 

Sooyoung just chuckled in response. There was no point in going against this woman. She was set in her ways. So she just allowed it, smiling to herself as she gladly ate the food Jinsoul prepared for them. 

**_//_ **

“Skinny dipping is a thing you know…”

“As tempting as that is, i’m not getting naked in a swimming pool Jinsoul.” Sooyoung smirked.

“Fine… but at least stay topless.” She said cutely. “I’ll do the same.” 

“Fine. But because you’re so cute I don’t mind.” 

They wore undergarments into the pool, topless, like Jinsoul suggested. Kissing each other softly under the moonlight that cascaded over the pool. Jinsoul was beautiful. That wasn’t new. But there was something about the way the moon reflected off of her skin. It made Sooyoun falter. Put down her guard. Allow Jinsoul in once and for all. Her hair was wet and sticking cutely against her skin as she rose from the water. A smile on her face as her hands ran across her hair, pushing it from her face. 

“Like what you see?” 

“Don’t I always?” Sooyoung questioned softly, slowly moving towards her through the water. 

“I don’t know… do you?” 

Sooyoung sighed softly. A small smile on her features as she softly caressed Jinsoul’s face. “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than you are…” 

“Lies—“

“I’m serious.. you’re stunning. Everything about you.” Sooyoung confessed. Still closely looking over Jinsoul’s features. Her wet hair and her beautiful skin. Accompanied by her beautiful awline, her dazzling smile and her soft touch. “I-I love you Jinsoul.” She said quickly, feeling her throat close up the second she confessed those words to her.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her. It was that she’d never fallen so hard for someone in such a short amount of time. It was terrifying, and she didn’t want to risk not only her upcoming marriage but her heart. A part of her wouldn’t mind letting herself be heartbroken by the woman in front of her. But she didn’t want that. She wanted Jinsoul to love her fully and completely. And she wanted to love Jinsoul wholeheartedly. But it wasn’t that easy, and she felt too much pressure to be perfect.

To not break Jinsoul’s heart.

She felt lost. She didn’t want to be Jinsoul’s first heartbreak, but she was sure she would be. It was inevitable and it ate her alive knowing she’d hurt the woman in front of her. Lovingly looking at her with twinkling eyes after Sooyoung’s confession. “You love me?” She questioned hopefully. And Sooyoung shyly smiled.

“I do… I love you.” 

Jinsoul smiled so bright she was afraid her face would get stuck that way. She quickly moved forward, pressing her lips against Sooyoung’s. “I love you too. I love you so much.” 

“I know… I know..” 

_**//** _

Sooyoung got out of the pool first, reaching a hand down to the other woman to help her out. Their chests exposed as they wrapped a towel around themselves. “Are you cold?” 

“ a little..” Jinsoul said, her teeth chattering. “Maybe tonight wasn’t the best night to get drenched in pool water..” 

Sooyoung frowned, quickly drying herself off before turning back to Jinsoul. “I’ll warm you up.” 

Jinsoul lifted an eyebrow up, her smile faltering. “How so?” 

And she was surprised to feel Sooyoung’s hands on her again. Grabbing her and holding her bridal style. “I’ll show you.” 

“When did you get this strong? I’m not complaining though..” 

“I’m treating you like the princess you are.” Sooyoung smiled, kissing her softly and carrying her back inside. Jinsoul’s arms tightly wrapped around Sooyoung’s neck as she was carried effortlessly throughout their shared home. She softly placed her down. “You should remove these clothes.. they’re all wet..” 

Jinsoul did as she was told, her smile never faltering. She felt full, in so many ways she couldn’t describe. She didn’t want this to end. But she knew it had to. She was starting to hate herself for constantly ruining these moments with her thoughts. But she couldn’t help it. She badly wanted Sooyoung to be all hers.. but that would never be. So she had to accept what was in front of her right now. “Kiss me.” She said softly.

“What?” Sooyoung questioned, removing her wet clothes. 

“Please kiss me.” She begged, and Sooyoung was confused but she did as she was told, moving to kiss Jinsoul softly. Her eyes widening as the kiss immediately became more intense. 

“Jinsoul…” 

“Please dont marry him…” She begged, and Sooyoung’s heart dropped.

“Soul—“

“He doesn’t deserve you. I can take good care of you… I can take you far away from here just—“

“I can’t. And you know that.” Sooyoung sadly said, her expression dropping immediately. “If I could—“

“I know… I know you would. I shouldn’t be so selfish…” 

“You’re not selfish for wanting me.” Sooyoung assured her. “But you’re selfish for making me realize I have two options.” 

“Two?” 

“Run away with you and abandon my family… or marry this man, and relieve my family of their debt.” 

“I-I don’t want you to leave your family—“

“But that’s what I’ll have to do!” Sooyoung yelled. “Don’t you realize? It’s not all rainbows and sunshine over here Jinsoul. I am in debt to my family, I can’t run off with you. You’re royalty, you have _everything_.”

“I don’t have everything!” Jinsoul snapped, her eyes watering as Sooyoung turned to her. 

“How do you not—“

“Because I don’t have you.” She said outright. “I can have ‘ _everything_ ’ in the world as you’d say, but none of that will ever make me feel as good as you do.” 

Sooyoung wasn’t even sure what to say at this point. “W-With you… I feel brave. Like I can do anything in the world. I feel unstoppable. I feel whole, when I’m with you. I’ve never felt that before in my entire life. Only with you Sooyoung… my angel on earth.” 

“Jinsoul…” 

“I’m in love with you. And I-I know that because I feel like I could die for you. I’d do anything for you and I love _and_ hate you for it. Because I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the entire world.” 

“You have no idea—“

“I do. M-My friend, she told me that love is kinda like… doing anything for the person you love and Sooyoung.., my Sooyoung, I’d do anything for you. To keep you safe and make you feel loved I’d do anything.” 

“Jinsoul you’re a princess. Of an entire nation. You can’t risk that all for me.” 

“I’d do it in a heartbeat.” She said, moving to Sooyoung with the towel wrapped around her body. “I’d run off with you. Keep you safe, I’d love you every second of every day and show you how worthy you are of everything good.” 

“But I can’t.” 

“I know.” Jinsoul sadly admitted. “But that won’t stop me from loving you. No matter how many times you turn me down.” 

“You make things really hard for me.” 

“I know.” Jinsoul smiled. “I know..” 

She removed the towel from her body, moving to the bed and pulling Sooyoung atop of her. “But I love you so much.. I can’t give up on us..” She kissed her, holding her hand against her chest as she took in the beautiful skin of Sooyoung. 

“ _I won’t give up on us_.” 

And her attack on Sooyoung’s skin was relentless. Marking every inch of her body that wasn’t visible to anyone else. Sucking the tender skin of her inner thighs. Gripping her tightly as she sucked at the area around her nipples. Leaving bright marks there, a smile on her face as she felt like Sooyoung was hers. Even if just for a moment. 

She couldn’t get enough of her smile, her kisses, her soft lips and her intoxicating scent. The scent that completely soaked into the blankets and pillows of their shared bed. 

She understood why the sex that night was a bit different from their usual sessions. Because Sooyoung told her that she loved her. She _loved_ Jinsoul. Her lazy smile as she watched Jinsoul kiss slowly down her body sent a jolt of electricity through her veins. Soft hands in her hair as she used her tongue to pleasure the woman above her. Holding her tightly in place as she moved her tongue against her most sensitive areas. 

“Don’t stop—“ Sooyoung moaned softly, holding her in place as she felt herself getting close and closer to the edge. Her mind hazy as she tried her best to concentrate on the pleasure she felt. The best she’d ever felt. And Jinsoul did as she was told, enjoying every part of Sooyoung that she could get her mouth on. She loved how they became one whenever they had sex. How vulnerable they would become and how they allowed each other to see those sides of themselves. 

Vulnerability. Want. Need. 

Sooyoung wasn’t too big on those things. But she couldn’t help but feel herself falling apart when a warm tongue was touching her skin. Pushing through her folds and causing her to hit her climax. Not holding back her moans(ever since Jinsoul asked her not to). It was undeniably the best sex she’d ever had. But it was probably because it was with the person she was always meant to be with. Someone she actually cared for and had a connection with. A connection that wasn’t forced. 

Sooyoung gasped when she saw the marks that littered her body. No doubt being put there so she wouldn’t forget how good Jinsoul made her feel. How Jinsoul touched her and claimed her as her own. 

“I’ll love you, no matter what..” Jinsoul whispered against her lips as she pushed her fingers inside of her. Her stomach curled at the whimper that left Sooyoung’s plump lips. She closed her eyes tightly as Sooyoung wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly as Jinsoul worked her fingers like an expert inside of her. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think and she could hardly breathe. 

All that flooded her mind was Jinsoul. Her body against hers. Her warm, soft skin. That comforting scent of hers that made Sooyoung never want to leave her side. She was everywhere. She swore she felt her everywhere.. 

She licked at her perky breasts as she curled her fingers inside of her, feeling nails sinking into her skin. She moaned against Sooyoung’s lips as she felt her release onto her fingers. Her body trembled as she tried to register the orgasm she experienced. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing the pretty brown eyes that captured Jinsoul’s attention at any moment. She smiled softly, kissing Sooyoung’s forehead. 

“I wish I could stay here forever..” Sooyoung whispered. 

“Me too..” Jinsoul responded, laying her head onto Sooyoung’s chest. Running her fingers along her skin. It was the first time in Sooyoung’s life that somebody made her feel beautiful without even saying anything. Just the look in her eyes, the way she admired her body told her enough. 

Without another word, she was slowly moving up Sooyoung’s body. Her innocent eyes watching Jinsoul curiously as she kissed up her body. Her legs slowly following, placed on either side of her head. Nothing needed to be said anymore. It was clear what Jinsoul wanted and Sooyoung wasn’t one to keep her waiting. Not when she so badly wanted her to. 

She felt like this position was a bit much for her. Not in terms of handling the woman above her, but seeing her in _that_ state. Full of lust and need. Her desperate hips rocking forward as she chased what would be her orgasm. Jinsoul was beautiful. Not because she was naked and basically using Sooyoung to get off at this point. But because she was her. Every inch of her was perfect. She was in constant denial with the fact Jinsoul was head over heels for her. 

A woman, an insanely beautiful woman. Soft skin, cute shaped beautiful brown eyes, tempting lips and charming smile. Her voice that constantly sent chills down Sooyoung’s back no matter how much she tried to play it cool. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of hearing her name leaving Jinsoul’s mouth this way. Begging her to keep going and praising her for doing it so well. She was perfect, and in some way, she was all hers. 

Her nails sank deeper into the soft thighs around her head as she held Jinsoul in place. Her hands against the wall as her orgasm hit her like a truck. Her eyes were shut tightly as she leaned face first against the cool wall. Her body trembling as the waves of pleasure slowly but surely withered away. She felt Sooyoung move from beneath her, missing the slight warmth she felt. But it wasn’t long before Sooyoung was back. Pressing kisses along her back and neck. Jinsoul smiled softly, unaware of what was coming. 

She felt a hand traveling down her sides, while Sooyoung still kissed and nipped at her sensitive skin. “You said you want to be my princess?” She questioned seductively.

“Mhm.” Jinsoul quietly admitted.

“Okay, _Princess_.” She smirked against her skin before moving her fingers down her back and in between her legs.

“Sooyoung what are you—“ And she moaned out the second she felt not one, but two, fingers pushing into her. Her body still pressed against the wall as Sooyoung fingered her from behind. 

She wasn’t going to last long at all. Mainly because this position was allowing Sooyoung to cause much more damage. Really good damage. She was already being pushed over the edge and she couldn’t deny that even if she wanted to. “I’m close—“ She warned Sooyoung, leaning her head back against her shoulder and allowing the woman of her dreams to attack her neck with sloppy, wet kisses. 

Sooyoung didn’t know what came over her. But she felt a surge of power rushing through her veins as she had Jinsoul at her mercy. Moaning loudly into her ear, using her other hand to pleasure herself. It was a lot, and yet through this lustful evening all she could think about was how after this, she’d be able to hold Jinsoul in her arms. Admire her. Kiss her. Because she was in hers. Not fully. But in some way, Jinsoul was all of hers. And she’d always be hers. 

Her teeth sank into Jinsoul’s neck as she felt her finally release. A long whine coming from her as she came, her body falling forward as she gripped at the sheets. Her eyes closed and her hot body touched the cool sheets. They were both sweaty, but they didn’t mind. They just loved being close to each other. Sooyoung giggled at Jinsoul’s state.

“Not funny…” She pouted.

“It’s a little funny.” Sooyoung responded, disagreeing with her original statement. “You seem worn out.” 

“Gee.. I wonder why.” She sleepily said, causing Sooyoung to giggle again. Her body felt like jelly, so she just lied there until she found the strength to even turn back to Sooyoung. Who was smiling back at her shyly. Did she have to be perfect in every single way? How was that fair? Something... someone, so perfect, but you can’t have them to yourself? 

She didn’t want to sound like a brat, but Jinsoul was used to getting whatever she wanted. So not having Sooyoung was proving to be quite difficult for her to swallow. She’s had many things in her life, but she was sure it couldn’t compare to just having Sooyoung. Even for just a night. She’d choose her over saving the world. As selfish as it sounds… Sooyoung was _her_ world. 

“We should get cleaned up... we’re really sweaty and….” 

Jinsoul’s cheeks turned a bright red as she quickly stood up. “Right, we should.” She got up quickly, dragging the sheet along with her.

“Really?” 

“I’m cold..” She pouted and Sooyoung couldn’t say much to her after that. Especially with the cute pout she gave her. She grabbed some clean clothes from her bag, as Sooyoung lay on the bed. She smiled to herself as she noticed she brought her polaroid camera along with her. She took it out, walking back over to the bed and hovering over Sooyoung. 

“What are you doing?” She questioned cutely.

“I want to remember this moment..” 

“Me naked?” 

“Okay…. not that in particular, but that would be pretty nice too.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea..? Having naked pictures of me?” 

“Sooyoung— I’m not taking pictures of your entire body. Just your amazing face and… maybe your bare chest but—“

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“And you are beautiful.” She smiled, bringing the camera up as she cutely hovered over Sooyoung. Taking pictures and putting the film aside. “I think that’s good enough.” 

Sooyoung waited for Jinsoul to remove herself from on top of her, before grabbing some clean clothes for herself. “Ready?” 

“I need to find something.. but you can go and start the water.” She smiled, and Sooyoung kissed her softly.

“I’ll do just that.” 

The second she heard the water running she went over to Sooyoung’s bag. Grabbing the first shirt she spotted and smiling to herself. It wasn’t that much bigger than the clothes she wore. 

When she got to the bathroom, Sooyoung was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, letting the water run as the bubbles rose slowly. “Bubbles?” 

“It’s romantic.” Sooyoung said. “Plus.. baths with no bubbles are boring. You want to just stare at your naked body the entire time?” 

Jinsoul pondered on it for a moment before a devilish smirk showed up on her face. “Well…” 

“Don’t… even answer that.” Sooyoung laughed, and Jinsoul did the same. Once the water was done she removed her towel. “I’ll get in first.” 

The tub was very roomy, it had pulsating jets inside of it as well. So there was enough room for two people. Honestly probably even a 3rd. Her body instantly relaxed once she sat in the hot water, her eyes closing as she leaned back. Jinsoul got in shortly after, putting her hair into a bun so it didn’t get too wet and in the way. 

She immediately ended up in Sooyoung’s arms. Her back against the front of her body. Leaning her head back and closing her eyes. “This is the calmest i’ve felt in years…” Sooyoung said. 

“Being in a bathtub?” 

“Well yeah but— being in it with you.. this is really peaceful.” Jinsoul agreed, snuggling up as close as possible as she could to the woman. They didn’t speak much. Just sat comfortably in the bathtub. Jinsoul played with the bubbles, turning around and putting a bunch onto Sooyoung’s head. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” Jinsoul smiled, booping her nose and leaving some suds there. She kissed Sooyoung, and her smile hadn’t faltered for a moment. They were content. They were happy. 

Sooyoung got out of the bathtub first, putting a hand out to help Jinsoul too. They dried off and changed into their sleep clothes. “That… looks like my shirt.” Sooyoung pointed out, her eyes trailing over the shirt and Jinsoul’s bare legs.

“Because it is yours..” She smiled. “Do you like it?” 

How could she not? She didn’t know she could get turned on by such a simple thing but here she was. Smirking so hard she felt her face would permanently get stuck that way. “You look better in it than I ever have.” 

“Now you’re just lying to me.” 

“I’d never lie to you.” 

“Really?” 

“I don’t have a reason to..” 

Jinsoul nodded. “So if you had a reason to lie to me you would?” 

“Soul…” Sooyoung glanced at her.

“Sorry you’re just— you’re the only person I feel like I can trust sometimes.” She confessed. “Besides Jungeun but she’s a longtime friend so that’s just expected and—“

“Jungeun?” 

“My best friend… practically a sister to me.” 

“Does she know about us?” 

“Will you be mad if I say yes?” 

Sooyoung sighed deeply. She wasn’t really sure what to say. Or how to feel. But if Jinsoul trusted this person, and she trusted Jinsoul, then she didn’t mind _too_ much. “No.. how much does she know?” 

“Well, she just knows that I love you.. and she supports us. So don’t be scared.” 

“I’m never scared when I’m with you…” She smiled, and her heart fluttered seeing Jinsoul smiling back. “Minho has known about us since that night so.. but he’s the only person who knows.” 

“Do you not have anyone else to talk to besides Minho? I mean I don’t mind.. I just don’t want you to ever feel lost or like you don’t have anyone to speak to…” 

Sooyoung let herself fall back onto the bed. And Jinsoul was on top of her shortly after. Playing with her cheeks and touching her nose. “I do.. like you— I have a friend I consider a sister. We just recently started hanging out again… arranged marriage bullshit separated us for some time.” 

“What’s her name?” Jinsoul asked cutely. She didn’t care what Sooyoung was talking about, she always tuned in. It was like her body's reaction to the sound of her voice was to give Sooyoung all of her attention. To listen carefully, picking up on her cute mannerisms, like the way she talked and her eyes would get much bigger than they usually were. Or how she used her hands to exaggerate her sentences and words. 

And how she calmly lay in bed with Jinsoul on top of her, allowing the Princess to playfully outline the shape of her face with her soft fingers. “Her name is Heejin.. She has a wife and 2 kids. They’re twins.”

“She’s gay?” Jinsoul suddenly asked and Sooyoung nodded.

“I thought the wife made that obvious..” She laughed. But it made Jinsoul smile brightly knowing Sooyoung had someone to confide in. She didn’t feel so alone and like her being with a woman was the worst thing that could ever happen. Wherever Heejin was, she wished she could thank her personally. For giving Sooyoung another perspective on life, and that she didn’t always have to be so afraid.

“I’m their godmother.” Sooyoung smiled brightly.

“Do you like kids?” 

“I love them. When they’re cute and small like that. They look up to you like you’re the most perfect human in the world. They don’t judge you, like outsiders do..” She often wondered if Sooyoung wanted to be a mother someday. Jinsoul wasn’t too sure of it, but the idea of it being with someone else hadn’t really crossed her mind until just now.

Jinsoul stared down at Sooyoung with genuine eyes. “This world has scared you into a little shell..” She pointed out. “I told you, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“I know. I believe you.” 

“My wish is for you to one day be free and feel happy in your body, your skin… in your mind, and who you are.” 

Sooyoung smiled, caressing her cheek as she held back a small laugh. “When did you get so deep?” Jinsoul playfully looked around, before turning back to Sooyoung. Cutely rubbing her nose against hers. 

“I think you’re rubbing off on me.” She admitted. 

“Is that so?” Sooyoung smiled, rolling them over and kissing Jinsoul deeply. “How about I rub off on you a different way?” She winked, and Jinsoul was all for that.

* * *

The knocks on the door made him jump awake. Falling to the floor as he lay on the couch. “Fucking shit, FUCK.” Minho cursed, holding his arm as he walked to the door with messy hair. His eyes instantly opened once he saw who it was. 

“Can I— Rowoon?” He questioned.

“Hey Minho,uh, is Sooyoung here?” 

He looked at him confused. “What? Why would she be here?” 

Rowoon chuckled. “Because she said she’d be here for the weekend. With you.” 

Minho instantly caught onto what was happening. He cleared his throat and stood tall, even though Rowoon was still much taller than he was. “Well she’s a busy woman, who is soon to be getting married. She went to a spa.”

“Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“When does Sooyoung ever tell anyone when she’ll be back from anywhere?” He questioned. “She’ll be back when she wants to be back. Besides, we’re making tacos together tonight so she’ll be here.” 

“Is she doing alright?” Rowoon asked worriedly.

“She’s perfect. Sometimes she needs to get away from home to clear her mind.” 

“Right.” 

“Why are you.. here so early might I ask? And why are you looking for Sooyoung if she said she’s with me?” 

Rowoon didn’t want to say anything or jump to conclusions. But he felt like Sooyoung was lying to him previously. But after Minho told him what she was up to, he relaxed. Especially remembering their wedding was right around the corner. He didn’t know why he doubted her. She wasn’t brave enough to go out and do anything that could jeopardize what they have. 

“Early? It’s going on 2pm.” Rowoon pointed out, looking behind Minho. “You should invest in your sister's benefits by hiring a maid. You live in a pigsty.” He shook his head, before waving Rowoon off.

“Yep. Thanks for the advice.” He smiled, watching as Rowoon left down the stairs. “Dickhead.” He muttered, slamming the door shut.

* * *

After a nice breakfast and a walk down to the lake not too far from the house, the girls came back inside. Jinsoul made sure to take plenty of pictures of Sooyoung on their little trip. Changing into bathing suits that Jinsoul ordered one of her guards to get. They both laughed at the straight face he had when he handed them the bag with bikinis in it. 

“Have a good day Princess Jinsoul.” He said, before leaving and going back to guard the gate like he had before. 

Sooyoung was in the pool with Jinsoul when she got out for a bit. Laying on the lounge chair as she watched Jinsoul swimming from end to end. Her phone rang and she picked up the moment she saw it was her brother. 

“Everything okay?” She questioned. He held his phone in between his shoulder and cheek as he cleaned the apartment. Throwing out pizza boxes and empty soda cans. As well as the 2 week old spoiled milk in his fridge.

“Your personal bodyguard stopped by my place looking for you. Said you told him that you’d be at my place for the weekend.”

“Shit. I’m sorry Minho..” 

“It’s no worry. Just— if you’re going to use me as a martyr for your sexscapades, I’d like to know in advance so I can find a better lie.” He explained, tying the trash bag up. His face frowning at the smell of the spoiled milk.

“What did you tell him?” 

“Well let’s just say you better have your hands and toes done at some spa before you arrive back home.. whenever that is.” 

Sooyoung sighed, running a hand through her wet hair. “Great… well— I hope you like spas.” 

“What why?” 

“Because you’re going with me. Thanks for having my back Minho.” She quickly said.

“Yeah, sure. Always, but I am not going—“ She hung up before he could even finish. Watching as Jinsoul stepped out of the pool, her hands moving her wet hair from her face. The water droplets dropped off of her body as if she were in some movie with a sensual scene. Obviously inputted to grasp the attention of gross me. Except it wasn’t for any men. It was all for Sooyoung. 

“You okay?” She smiled brightly, taking a sip of the iced tea Sooyoung had sitting there.

“Yeah. Just my brother calling to check on me.”

Jinsoul believed her. It wasn’t entirely a lie. “I can’t believe I have to leave you tomorrow…” She frowned.

Sooyoung frowned as well, tilting Jinsoul’s chin up so she could look at her. “Don’t think that way. We’ll be back in each other’s arms before you know it.” 

“You’re getting married soon Sooyoung.” 

She rolled her eyes, grabbing a towel and drying her body off. “Please don’t remind me.” She begged and Jinsoul sadly stood up as well. 

“Sorry… I just hate the fact that after tonight you won’t be mine anymore.. I have to share you ...” She cutely said, and Sooyoung relaxed at that. The situation not as tense as it was before. Or maybe that was just in her head. 

“You do have to share me. But i’ll make sure i’m all yours soon.. hopefully before the wedding.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

“You shouldn’t. I’m not in control of my life as much as I’d like to be, so it’s not a confirmed thing.” She warned her, not wanting to get her hopes up just to crush them within minutes. She had to be realistic, and she needed Jinsoul to be realistic as well. For the sake of them and their sanity. 

“Fine. But don’t be surprised when I’m kissing you any chance I have today.” 

“You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.” She smiled, kissing her gently as Jinsoul did the same. Backing away with a bright smile on her face and dragging Sooyoung into the house by hand.

* * *

“You’re really leaving tomorrow huh?” Jinsoul questioned as she lay on Sooyoung’s bare chest. Twirling Sooyoung’s beautiful dark hair with her fingers. 

“I am… unfortunately…” She responded. She didn’t want to leave either. She wished she could stay here with Jinsoul. She really, _really_ wished she could. But it was back to reality tomorrow. She’d be getting ready for her wedding in 2 weeks. Time flew by far too fast for her likings. 

But somehow, time slowed whenever she was with Jinsoul. She enjoyed every second with her. Admiring her. Learning about her and who she was as a person. Listening to her talk about how pretty the moon and stars were as if she wasn’t the prettiest existing thing. 

Much prettier than any star, and much prettier than the moon. Her smile alone outshined it. And her heart was brighter and more pure than any star out there in the universe. To Sooyoung, Jinsoul was much more than a star. She was the entire galaxy. Her eyes shined brighter than the sun and especially the moon at night. Her innocence somehow still in those eyes despite unraveling her at night lovingly. Claiming her as her own. 

She loved Jinsoul. There was no denying that. She was just afraid she didn’t love Jinsoul, as much as Jinsoul loved her. Jinsoul was completely infatuated with Sooyoung. Her smile. The way she spoke and laughed. How she gently caressed her face after completely ruining her moments before. She was a force to be reckoned with. But she was all in it. Sooyoung, was her soulmate. This was destined to be. She felt like this was what she needed all of her life. She hated how she missed out on this. 

True love. Someone genuinely caring and loving her for who she was and now for what she had and could acquire. Sooyoung looked past that. Showing her that love was much more than lust and greed, and money. It was heartwarming, and it was innocent. And maybe Sooyoung would break her heart one day, but she wasn’t completely against it either. It’d be an honor to be hurt by Sooyoung. To finally feel _something_. 

“I know you said it already but… I really wish we could stay here forever.” Jinsoul sighed. “I could stare at you all day..” 

“I wouldn’t put that past you.” 

“Sooyoung I love you.” Jinsoul said softly as they lay beside each other. “And I know it’s scary.. all of this. Because honestly, for the first time in my life, I feel afraid too. But not because of what could come out of this..” 

“What do you mean?” Sooyoung questioned, she was genuinely curious as to what Jinsoul was going on about.

“I’m scared of course. Because at any given moment you could break my heart, I don’t know what that’s like, but I’m sure losing you would certainly be what it feels like..” She quietly said. “But I wouldn’t trade this for anything.. to be able to love you, be here with you, experiencing all of this, I’m blessed.” 

“Maybe you have been around me too long..” Sooyoung chuckled. Referring to how expressive Jinsoul had become. Explaining her feelings and how she felt about the other woman. “I told you that I can show you how to love… but I never promised that this would end well…”

“I know.” Jinsoul’s eyes watered. “But Ha Sooyoung— I’d go to the ends of the earth to have you.” 

“When someone asks you what it’s like to be in love… what would you say?” Sooyoung questioned, and Jinsoul looked around for a bit. Still staying close to Sooyoung, whose body was warmer than the sun on a hot afternoon. 

“... I’d say… that it feels like I’m in a neverending dream. Sometimes I just wish I could sit and freeze time right where I am. So that I’ll never lose all of the lovely things that are around me. That lovely thing.. being _you_.” She explained. “I wish I didn’t feel this way about you because it’s quite embarrassing…” She giggled cutely.

“That’s not embarrassing.” 

“Oh but it is.” Jinsoul bitterly laughed. But not at Sooyoung directly. “It’s clear who loves who more here and I get it— I do.. but Sooyoung… you’ve shown me things I've never seen or experienced before..” 

“I wish I could show you everything.” 

“I know. And that’s one of the many reasons why I love you, you _try_. That means more than anything to me.” 

Sooyoung lowered herself a little more so they were seeing eye to eye now. “And when this doesn’t work, _if_ it doesn’t work… what will you do Soul?” 

“I’ll fight for you.” 

“And if you don’t win?” 

“Then I’ll just appreciate the fact that at least, I got to love you, and that you loved me at some point in time..”

* * *

“I’m jealous that I’m not going to be the one waiting for you as you walk down the aisle.. I can’t lie..” Jinsoul frowned as she watched Sooyoung put her bag into the car. 

It was true. She wouldn’t be watching her walk down the aisle. At least not from the front. Rowoon invited them of course. He had no idea of what was going on between the two women. So why wouldn’t he invite Sooyoung’s “best friend” and his own best friend? Rowoon’s brothers were his best men. Lucas was merely a guest to an extent. He still had front row seats however. 

2 weeks before Sooyoung was a married woman. She was terrified. If her life was already being controlled now without it being official, she couldn’t imagine how it would be being forced into having the family name. Rowoon’s mother would be relentless, and there was nothing she could. She felt sick to her stomach. But she ignored that for a while. Appreciating Jinsoul’s arms around her neck as she kissed her softly. She didn’t want to go. She really didn’t. But she had to. Especially much earlier than she intended thanks to Rowoon being a fucking pest. 

“I’ll be back soon. I won’t leave you for long.” Sooyoung promised. “These next 2 weeks will be..”

“Grueling. I know. Trust me. I’ve been married for nearly over a year now. I know how it is.” Jinsoul assured her. “I understand. And I’ll be waiting for you.” 

“Don’t wait too long..” 

“I’d wait forever.” Jinsoul said confidently. “You’re worth waiting for…” 

Sooyoung didn’t even know what to say. She just blushed and looked away shyly. “I should go… my brother is waiting for me to take him to a spa.” 

“A spa?” 

“Long story.” Sooyoung laughed. “But don’t worry.” 

Jinsoul couldn’t describe the ache she felt when Sooyoung pulled off. Of course not without kissing her so softly it made her head spin. She wanted her badly. She needed her. She smiled as Sooyoung backed out of the driveway, her heart sanking once she completely disappeared. 

Reality hitting her once again. 

Sooyoung wasn’t hers. And she’d truly never be hers. 

**_//_ **

“I assume you lovebirds made good use of that bed huh?” Jungeun teased, sitting in front of her laptop as she facetimed Jinsoul. 

“Stop..” Jinsoul blushed brightly.

“Ahhhh I see. You two definitely did it plenty of times huh? I’m jealous… that girl is one sexy—“

“Jungeun…” Jinsoul glared through the screen.

The brunette laughed as she held a puppy in her arms. “I’m just saying! She is attractive, okay? I’m gay, I have working eyes. And that— is one attractive woman.” 

“Trust me, I’m well aware. But she’s taken…” 

“I’m sure she has room for one more.” Jungeun teased, seeing the slight irritation on Jinsoul’s face from her teasing. “When am I going to get to _actually_ meet her by the way?” 

Jinsoul thought for a moment. She honestly wasn’t sure. Especially considering she didn’t even know when she’d see Sooyoung again. “Not sure. The wedding is in 2 weeks.” 

Jungeun frowned. “Hey I’m sorry Jinsoul..” 

“It’s no worry. I knew what I was getting into the moment we kissed…” She said truthfully. She knew the consequences. She knew they were both married, or.. soon to be married, and considering their two situations, she knew there was no happy ending. But a part of her really wanted to believe there would be. 

That one day Sooyoung would be all hers. Away from shitty family and judging eyes. A world where they were happy, living together and waking up to each other every morning. It was a little bit of a stretch, but a girl can dream can’t she? 

“I just know you really…. you’re into this girl.” 

“I am.. to the point it’s overwhelming… I don’t know what I’m doing here Jungeun.. I just want to make her happy.” 

“And are you? Making her happy?” 

“I’ve never seen her smile as much as I saw her smile this weekend..” Jinsoul ended up smiling just thinking about the other woman’s contagious smile. “Jungeun— she’s an angel on earth. I know that’s a cliché term but god… I’ve never met anyone like her.” 

“Dude you’re making me sick to my stomach.” Jungeun fake gagged.

“Stop…” Jinsoul scolded playfully. “God she makes me just…” She sighed like a teenager in love. 

“I get it. I’m rooting for you, I really am.” Jungeun said to her, kissing the puppy on top of its head gently. “I’ve never seen you like this Soul… honestly this girl is either a _god_ in bed, or she’s just reallyyyy sweet.” 

“Both honestly.” Jinsoul smiled, blushing as she recalled the moments they shared in the bedroom. “Jungeun… she’s just perfect. She really is… everything about her.” 

“Honest question, is the sex much better than with airhead back at your house?” 

Jinsoul laughed loudly, covering her face with her hands. There was no denying Sooyoung was much better than Lucas. Especially in the bed. But that was probably due to the fact she had more of a connection with Sooyoung. “Much, much better.. I’ve never wanted to have sex all night until this woman seriously.. I can’t get enough of her.” 

“Okay, now you’re making me jealous. This conversation is done.” Jungeun teased. Jinsoul could see Jungeun looking somewhere off the screen. “I gotta go. My family finished preparing dinner but— text me, or call, either works.” She assured the woman.

“Okay Jungeun. I’ll catch you in a bit.” 

“Of course.”

“Bye Jindori.” 

“Bye Jungie.” She said cutely. “Love youuuu.” 

“Love you too lovebird.” 

“What?!” She questioned, but the call hung up instantly. Jinsoul just sat in disbelief at Jungeun hanging up on her. She knew it was just her close friend messing around though, so she didn’t take too much offense. She shook her head.

Sighing at how empty the place felt without Sooyoung. She knew it was time to pack and head back home. She needed an excuse as to why she stayed out the entire weekend. Lucas was easy to get by though. She could easily mention family and he’d believe her. That was her favorite thing about him. He allowed her to have space and do her own thing. He didn’t question her too much, probably because he had so much trust in her. Which at times honestly made her feel horrible.

But it was worth it. Sooyoung was worth it.

She closed her laptop and sighed. “Time to head back home.” She muttered to herself, proceeding to go to the bedroom to pack up her things.

* * *

“Relax. You’re not the only male here.” Sooyoung assured him. “Stop acting so manly…” 

Minho seemed offended by her assumption. “What? That’s not my problem here. I don’t mind a nice lil makeover every once in a while alright?” He said, standing tall beside her. “It’s just, I wasn’t exactly expecting my Monday to go like this.” 

“It’s bonding time. Besides, you came up with this terrible excuse. So now we’re living it.” 

“What else was I supposed to say?!”

“I don’t know, maybe say I went to get food? Literally anything but a makeover. Is that _all_ you could think of?” 

Minho rolled his eyes. “Look, I highly doubt you would’ve came up with something better on the spot. He was staring me down, like he was waiting for me to slip up or something okay?” 

She smiled. “I know, and I appreciate it. But I’m not one to go to spas alone so, I hope you’re ready to get those crusty feet of yours fixed up.” 

“Hey! My feet are not crusty! I’m a working man.” 

**_//_ **

“I assume your weekend getaway was a success?” Her brother questioned as he sat beside her, his feet getting scrubbed clean. 

“Much more than a success. It was perfect.” 

“You look happy.” Minho pointed out, his head leaning against the chair he sat in as he watched his sister with intrigued eyes. “I really wish you didn’t have to go through this shit.” 

“Me too. But that’s life.. as long as I got you I can do this.” 

Minho smiled, reaching over and fist bumping her. “There will come a time where I won’t be enough to keep you strong enough to deal with this all.” 

“You think so?” 

Minho sighed, watching as the woman scrubbed the bottom of his feet. “I’ve always told you, a brother’s love is much different from a lover’s love… it’ll come a time where you need much more than my love to keep you strong and give you strength.” 

Sooyoung laughed. “So what you’re saying is you think I'm incapable of maybe warming up to the idea of marrying a rich man.” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t know who you’re trying to fool.” They both laughed. “But you’ll see.. one day.” 

Sooyoung smiled softly at him. Her brother did provide her lots of strength. It was always good to have some sort of backbone. Someone to support you when you needed it the most. They spent the rest of their day together, after the spa, they went to get smoothies. Sooyoung had completely forgotten about the “diet” she was supposed to be on. But even if she remembered, she wouldn’t have told Minho about it.

He was super overprotective, and would’ve caused a ruckus for sure.

He was her brother after all. 

**_//_**

On the drive back home, Minho messed around with the radio station. Singing to any song he recognized loudly. Annoying Sooyoung in the process but she didn’t tell him to stop. She just laughed whenever his voice cracked. 

“So when is the next time I’m going to see you little one?” He questioned as she pulled up to his apartment complex. The sun completely gone from the sky at this point. 

“soon.” 

“When can I finally meet little Jinsoul?” He teased. “I’d prefer to meet her with her clothes on….” 

“Will you stop?!” She shyly asked, looking away from him. “No time soon.. especially with the wedding coming up.” 

“Will she not be there? At the wedding?”

“That’s up to her…” 

“Did you invite her?” Minho questioned, hearing Sooyoung sigh deeply.

“Of course I did… but it’s up to her if she comes or not.” 

“Not to be a dick, but who would want to watch the love of their life marry someone else…?” 

“No one.” She said softly. “No one at all.”

* * *

“I’d like her to be rehired.” Sooyoung said to Rowoon from across the room. Drying her hair after her shower. They had dinner with his parents that night. It went just as horribly as she expected. His mother was obviously looking over her to see if she noticed any weight loss. It was clear Sooyoung had lost weight. Her face was much slimmer than before. 

She had a hard time covering up the marks that littered her chest from Jinsoul. But she managed to do it. At least for the night. After that she just wore shirts that covered up her chest. “Who?” 

“Yongsun..” 

Rowoon chuckled. “What is she your best friend?” 

“Rowoon.” Sooyoung replied, eyeing him as he slowly sighed, removing his glasses and tossing his folder onto the bed. 

“Fine. I’ll rehire her. Any other requests you’d like to give?” 

“I’d like for you to never show up to my brother’s place asking for me again.” She said confidently. “I’m a person of my own. I’m allowed to go out without you hounding me so much.” 

“You’re right. I overstepped. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” He apologized sincerely. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.. you barely replied to me this weekend.” 

“Because I didn’t need to talk to you every waking moment Rowoon. You need to realize how unhealthy that is. Not just for you. But for me too.” 

“I know. And I’m sorry… And I’m also sorry for hurting you these past few weeks. I’ve been overbearing and cruel to you, and I’d like to make it up to you.” 

“How exactly will you do that?” She turned to him with a displeased look on his face. 

He smiled brightly, lifting up a brochure. “Island getaway for our honeymoon. We can even ride camels there.” 

Sooyoung didn’t even know what to say. “I’m not a big fan of getaways.” She bluntly said. At least not with men. She’d rather stay here than go to another island with this man. Having to live with him was enough. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d much rather stay here in the city and maybe go out for dinner.”

He was a little upset they wouldn’t be going, hopefully he could convince her to change her mind. But for now, he knew it wasn’t worth fighting her on. “Fine. A nice dinner with a view of the beach coming right up for you my love.” He smiled. “And I’ll have Yongsun back by lunch tomorrow.”

* * *

**Week of Wedding Rehearsals**

Sooyoung was exhausted. But at least she had lost enough weight for her next dress fitting. Rowoon’s mother seemed to be proud of that. Smiling when Sooyoung fit snugly in the dress with no problems. She still insisted Sooyoung ate lightly until after the wedding. The large church venue was filled as Sooyoung looked up at the platform she’d be walking up to on the day of her wedding. Despite getting married to a man, she felt… excited. Not for him, but to experience something like this seemed magical. If only it was someone she truly loved and cared for.

She smiled to herself as she imagined Jinsoul being up there. Waiting for her with the brightest smile she’d ever seen. 

That got her through the day as she rehearsed. It all seemed simple, yet tiring. Preparing for a wedding was no joke. It was time consuming, and with the person who planned it out, it was also strategized a certain way. 

“A carriage..” Sooyoung pointed out, as Rowoon stepped down from the platform. She’d overheard his mother bragging about it, reminding her that she was yet again being put on some sort of display. Hopefully she didn’t beat the living shit out of her beforehand, leaving her with another black eye. No one wanted to see an injured bride. 

“Lovely isn’t it?” Rowoon hugged her gently as they overlooked the venue. The expensive chandeliers that decorated the ceilings and the shiny white marble tile below their feet. 

“Excessive.” She simply said, not moving from his grasp as his mother walked over to them with a smile on her face. Forcing it much harder when she made eye contact with the woman in his arms.

“Any complaints Ha Sooyoung? This is your wedding after all..” She smiled.

“I’m not really in charge here am I?” Sooyoung quickly said back. “Besides, it’s far too close to the wedding day for me to make any adjustments.” She removed herself from Rowoon’s arms.

“But— Sooyoung was saying how she wanted some of those cheese dishes with the crackers on them.” Rowoon said, and Sooyoung stopped walking to turn around and scoff. She didn’t mention that at all, but at least it wasn’t her talking to that evil bitch. She walked to the backroom of the venue. There were two different venues. One for the wedding, and the other for the dining hall. Which was connected to this gigantic building. 

The grassy area surrounding it was large enough to be compared to a football stadium. The scenery was beautiful. There was a lake, almost like the one she kissed Jinsoul by one night. The night where she realized there was no running away from how she felt for the girl. She bent down, picking at the grass as she listened to the birds singing and the leaves rustling past her lightly. The sun was shining. It was a beautiful day. And she couldn’t contain her excitement knowing she’d be seeing Jinsoul once again after this horrible week. 

The person who kept her going despite the inevitable. Sooyoung wished she could run away from it all. But she knew this was what it would come to. As badly as she wished this day never came. It was closer than ever now, and she couldn’t explain the hole she felt in her heart when she thought about having to spend the rest of her life with some man. Some man who was corrupt and had slowly shown his true colors over the months. 

That hole only being filled by the love Jinsoul gave her. Without Jinsoul, Sooyoung would describe herself as an arid wasteland. But she came into her life and made something grow so deeply and beautiful inside. She glowed when she was with Jinsoul. Her smile, her skin, her soul, she radiated. And those things would always live inside of her. No matter what the outcome of this all was. At least she liked to think that. 

The things Jinsoul had given her, those things were precious to her. She gave her love and no emotion in the world could ever beat such a powerful thing. In that moment it hit her, Jinsoul was her love. Her soul purpose of being at this point. She didn’t want to kill the beautiful things that Jinsoul had caused to grow inside of her. She wanted to tend to them, care for them, and show how much she appreciated it in return as best as she could.

But she knew with this wedding coming up, it would kill them. It would tear Jinsoul apart to have to sit there and watch the person she had fallen so deeply for, getting married to someone that isn’t her. And that hurt Sooyoung in ways she couldn’t describe it. 

“Hey.” She heard a voice say, and she turned to a woman with short hair and slightly tanned skin. 

“Uh.. hi.” Sooyoung awkwardly responded, ignoring the girl as she sat beside her in the grass and overlooked the grassy area around them.

“Jennie Kim. A cousin of Rowoon’s.” She introduced herself.

“Never heard of you before.” Sooyoung admitted.

Jennie laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah well.. I’m not too involved in the things on this side of the family. But my parents are sooo… here I am. Preparing a wedding for some girl I barely know.” 

“Thanks.” Sooyoung simply said.

Jennie turned to her, wind blowing both of their hairs. She took in how gorgeous Sooyoung was. How her hair traveled down her back and how tan her skin was. How carefully sculpted her features were. She was stunning to say the least. “You don’t talk much do you?” 

“Not to people I don’t know.” She admitted. 

“I’m like that too.. but I saw you out here alone and thought maybe you’d want some company.” 

“I don’t.” Sooyoung truthfully said, and Jennie cleared her throat. Moving to stand up until Sooyoung turned to her. She had the most genuine eyes she’d ever seen, and she didn’t know someone could be so beautiful. “I don’t want company but— you’re already here so… I guess I don’t mind.” 

**_//_ **

They talked for a while, and ever after that long talk Jennie felt like she knew nothing about Sooyoung. She was so closed off, sharing the tiniest parts of herself that never came to be of much. But she enjoyed talking to someone who didn’t have their head up their own ass. Sooyoung was genuine and calm. 

It helped Jennie to relax after such a stressful morning. But Sooyoung had learned a few things about Jennie. Nothing of it was too important, but she liked finding out she was a dog owner. And she fostered animals in her own home every so often. It was a small sweet thing. But it caught Sooyoung’s attention way quicker than hearing about what dish is her favorite to eat. 

“I have two dogs.” She showed Sooyoung on her phone. 

“That one looks a bit old..” 

“Oh Kai? He’s not that old. Only 3 years old.” 

“Isn’t that like 50 in dog years.” 

“Much younger than that.. but I appreciate the attempt at guessing.” They both laughed lightly, before they were interrupted.

“Girls bonding huh?” Sooyoung heard Rowoon say, instantly shattering her sense of freedom. Jennie noticed the way Sooyoung’s face fell as she actively avoided Rowoon’s presence. Looking back out at the lake and picking at the grass once again. Jennie rolled her eyes at Rowoon, standing up.

“I was actually just leaving.” She lied. She had no plans to go just yet, but she’d much rather be away from Rowoon. She wasn’t the biggest fan of him, despite him never directly being a dick to her. He was still the offspring of someone sinister, and had no problem stabbing Jennie’s mother in the back. But the family was completely rotted, they’d always come running back to each other. Embracing the fakeness they tried to pretend wasn’t there. “My mom is probably ready to go anyway.” She awkwardly smiled.

“Yeah probably. They just finished up with the dinner plans for the wedding day. It’s going to be lovely.” He smiled brightly at her.

“I’m sure of it.” Jennie forced a smile at him before turning back to Sooyoung. “It was nice to finally meet you Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung smiled at her, and Jennie smiled back. An actual genuine smile before she waved to her and Rowoon. Leaving the two of them alone. “So everything is done?” 

“For the most part. We have about one more rehearsal this week and then next Friday, it’s the wedding day.” He smiled, reaching his hand out to help her off the ground. It’s not like she really needed it. But she took it anyway, her smaller hand in his larger one as he tugged her up. “Such a pretty venue isn’t it?” 

“I like it out here much more than I like it in there.” She responded. 

“Maybe the day we renew our vows we can do them outside.. I know you enjoy these pretty sceneries.” He mentioned. “Our day is going to be magical.”

* * *

“Sooyoung is on her way. You seriously need to go Jungeun.” 

“Come on, let me meet her!” 

Jinsoul rolled her eyes. “Another time. But not this time. She’s tired.. she had a busy day, I doubt she has the energy for someone else today.” 

Jungeun groaned loudly. “FINEEEE. I’ll leave now then crybaby. But I’m meeting her sooner or later. You know that right?”

“Very aware of it.” Jinsoul said, moving to open the door. Unaware that Sooyoung had already arrived. Jungeun stepped out in front of her friend, not knowing she’d be running into Sooyoung. The girl who looked much better than words could describe and pictures could convey. Jungeun swallowed hard. This wasn’t the proper meeting she was expecting. Maybe she’d prefer seeing Sooyoung in dim lighting with music pulsating around them. Because seeing her in this lighting nearly made her fall in love with the woman too. Especially with the nice outfit she had on. A black long sleeved blouse and some jeans. 

If Jinsoul could read her mind right now, she’d warn her about how deadly Sooyoung’s looks were when she was wearing clothing that showed so much skin. Especially her abs that she showed off at times. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Sooyoung cutely asked as she stood at the bottom of the stairs. Looking up at the two girls. Jungeun couldn’t even speak, instead Jinsoul pushed her to the side to go and greet Sooyoung. 

“No my love… Jungeun was _just_ leaving.” She smiled, turning to the brunette with stunned eyes. Her posture awkward as she stood at the front door. 

“Why for?” Sooyoung questioned, her eyes traveling back to Jungeun’s. “Does she have something important to do?” 

“No…. it’s just, you were coming over so I told her to kick rocks.” Jinsoul said truthfully. Sooyoung laughed, kissing Jinsoul softly.

“At least let her stay for dinner.” She lifted the bags in her hand, it smelled amazing. She had bought food before getting there so they could have something to eat tonight. “There’s enough for all of us.” 

**_//_ **

Jinsoul poured them all another glass of wine. They finished dinner about an hour ago and decided to wind down with some alcohol. Sooyoung enjoyed Jungeun’s presence. It made sense to her instantly why Jinsoul and her clicked so well. Jungeun was easy to talk to. And she laughed at basically anything Sooyoung said. 

“You two behave. I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Jinsoul said, standing up and taking a sip from her glass. “Jungeun— hands to yourself.” She jokingly said.

Jungeun raised her hands, surrendering playfully forgetting that she had a glass in her hand. Which resulted in her spilling wine onto her white tank top. “Shit…” She said, making Sooyoung giggle. She tossed her some napkins and watched as Jinsoul walked away and out of sight. 

“No worries.” Sooyoung said, watching as the girl cleaned her shirt off. It was clear she was slightly tipsy already. “Do you think you’ll be able to get home safely tonight?” 

“We’ll see after this glass.” She laughed. “So, have you gotten bossed around by the princess yet?” 

“Bossed around?” Sooyoung questioned. “No.. not that I know of.” 

“Maybe that’s just a best friend thing then. You’re clearly no best friend of Jinsoul’s.” Jungeun pointed out.

“In a way I am.” 

“Hey none of that cute gay shit around me alright? You know what I meant.” She laughed, and Sooyoung laughed as well. “I’m saying official best friend.” 

“She said you’re like a sister to her. I’ll take your best friend title for now.” Sooyoung finished her glass with one last gulp. “Well either way, I’m honestly shocked she hasn’t started giving you orders and shit. That’s all she does to me.” 

She felt a hand hit the back of her head. Jinsoul had returned from the bathroom. She poured Jungeun another glass, filling it halfway before grabbing her own glass and sitting on Sooyoung’s lap. “Talking about me while i’m not even here to defend myself huh?” 

“Sooyoung and I were just having a friendly chat.” Jungeun quickly moved to defend herself, smirking the entire time. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t flirted with her yet.” 

“Who said I didn’t yet?” 

Jinsoul glared at her, making Jungeun nearly choke from laughing. She could feel Sooyoung’s grip on her tighten. And just the look in her eyes showed that she wasn’t paying Jungeun’s playful antics any mind. Especially not when she had someone like Jinsoul in her life. She smiled gently, just enough to reassure her she wasn’t going anywhere, and her eyes weren’t on the playful girl in the room. “Can’t lie, you guys are pretty good looking together.” Jungeun pointed out, smiling at the two of them.

“Thanks Jungeun.” Sooyoung smiled, raising her glass to her as she downed the rest of the liquids in it. 

“No problem.. So when are you two having kids together?” She questioned, knowing it’d get a reaction out of them. Sooyoung instantly spat out her drink, coughing and sputtering loudly. Jinsoul quickly jumped out to grab some napkins. Glaring at Jungeun who laughed hysterically. “Oops.” She drank some more. 

Jinsoul returned to Sooyoung with napkins. Cleaning the mess up first before turning her attention back to the beautiful woman with watery eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t have invited her back in.” Sooyoung jokingly said through coughs.

“That’s Jungeun for you…” Jinsoul laughed, cleaning Sooyoung up with some napkins. “It’s getting late anyway we should probably clean up and head to bed.” 

“I’m going to take a quick shower actually.. today was long. But I’ll meet you back in the room?” Sooyoung questioned and Jinsoul nodded cutely. Closing her eyes when she felt Sooyoung’s soft lips against hers. Jungeun jokingly rolled her eyes in her seat. 

“Of course.” She smiled, biting her lip slightly as she watched the woman that belonged to her walking off. 

“Goodnight Jungeun.” Sooyoung softly said, smiling when Jungeun pretended to faint.

“Goodnight Sooyoung!” She said back, feeling a pillow hit her. She seriously couldn’t catch a break. “I was just saying goodnight!!!” She frowned, fixing her hair.

“You were looking for far too long..” 

“Can you really blame me?” Jungeun laughed, seeing her friend give a cute disapproving look. “Calm down. I’m just messing. You can’t be mad at me for reacting a certain way with a woman that beautiful in front of me though alright? She’s all yours though.” 

Jinsoul shyly looked away. Grabbing the empty glasses and moving to the kitchen where Jungeun followed. Sitting at the island as Jinsoul cleaned the glasses before putting them into the dishwasher. She could hear the shower water running now, which meant Sooyoung would be done soon. “Looks like I’m sleeping in the guestroom tonight huh?” 

“Unfortunately..” Jinsoul said, without turning around. 

“Hater.” 

“I wasn’t expecting someone to be here tonight while we….” She trailed off. “But sure— the guestroom is ready for you.” 

“That almost made me want to go home, seriously Jinsoul. You can’t control yourself for just one night?” 

“Don’t judge me. I don’t get to see her very much… plus she’s leaving me soon.” 

“Hey now… she’s not _leaving_ you. Don’t even start letting those idiotic thoughts get into that big pretty head of yours.” Jungeun warned. “You knew what you were getting into the moment you pursued her.” 

“I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with the damn girl Jungeun.” She sighed deeply. “I really wouldn’t trade it for anything else though.. really, she has showed me so much.” 

Jungeun didn’t even need to say anything. She knew Jinsoul would just start rambling on about this girl that made her eyes light up more than she’d ever seen. She didn’t even see her smile this brightly at her own wedding. It was crazy how easily and quickly someone could come into your life and show you such a different side of things. The side being love and compassion. It’s not that Jinsoul was never compassionate, but she never showed it that well. She had her ways, but her form of showing love and compassion has been much different since Sooyoung came around. 

It was nice to see her friend so high in the clouds. But she knew she’d eventually have to come back down from up there, and that scared her. She was sure she never saw Jinsoul at a low point in her life. Maybe behind closed doors, but for whatever reason, it definitely wasn’t from heartbreak of any kind. The only emotion she saw from Jinsoul that wasn’t displayed to her was that night she was afraid something had happened to Sooyoung. The worry in her eyes and how she could barely sleep at the thought that something happened to the person she loved. 

It made even her feel sick and she barely even knew this girl. But seeing Jinsoul so shaken up about it definitely showed her something. That she was madly in love, and at first, she was scared to see that. Scared to see Jinsoul fall so blindly, because these things never ended well. But she’d never seen her so happy… she wouldn’t dare rip that away from her. So she supported her. She allowed Jinsoul to call her late at night as she went somewhere far away in her mansion as Lucas slept. Rambling about nothing in particular and ending up talking about Sooyoung. 

She felt like just through those phone calls she knew everything about Sooyoung. The way Jinsoul described her smile, a smile that could light up the night sky, she was sure she could see it. But seeing it in person, she understood. Jinsoul described it perfectly. She was stunning, she was gentle and kind. And even though her eyes would close and she’d drift off in between sentences, she always remembered how Jinsoul described the happiness she felt. How safe she felt. How Sooyoung deserved much more than the moon and the stars or the night sky. She deserved the entire galaxy. 

And Jinsoul made a promise to herself that she’d give her that, or at least try to. She was sure if she could purchase the galaxy inside of a cute little jar she’d do it. But for now, she hoped her love was enough. “Am I invited to the wedding?”

“Sure. Ask Sooyoung. I probably won’t be going though.” She admitted.

“What? Why?” Jungeun immediately lifted her head up. 

“Are you _really_ asking that?” Jinsoul questioned, her voice nearly cracking from how airily she spoke. 

“You don’t think she’d want you there? To see you supporting her..?” 

Jinsoul didn’t even know what to say. She hadn’t really thought of it that way. She just thought about herself and her own selfish reasons. On how she didn’t want to see Sooyoung vowing to love a man for the rest of her life. Or seeing her kiss him in front of everyone that approved of their marriage, knowing deep down it wasn’t what she wanted. “It’s complicated.”

“You’re sharing a house with this girl, and you think it’s complicated to decide on supporting her at her wedding?” 

“Jungeun fuck off—“ She said, instantly apologizing. “Sorry I just— god I don’t know what to do… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to tell you to fuck off.” 

“I know. It’s a touchy subject..” She understood, instantly accepting Jinsoul’s apology. “But I think she’d like for you to be there.” 

“Maybe I’ll just arrive for dinner. But I’m not watching her—“ She swallowed, feeling her eyes start to water just thinking about it. “I simply won’t watch her swear to give herself to someone she doesn’t even love.” 

“Then don’t. But don’t leave her out there alone either.” 

**_//_ **

“Finished showering?”

Sooyoung turned around quickly with a bright smile. “I am.. sorry I took so long.” 

“It’s no worry.” She smiled. “Jungeun is asleep now.. she was drunk out of her mind.” 

“I can tell.. she had no shame in looking at me after a while.” Sooyoung pointed out, walking up to Jinsoul with a smirk. 

“She finds you quite charming.” Jinsoul mentioned cutely, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung’s waist. Absorbing the smell of the shampoo in her hair and the soap she used on her body moments before. “Not that I blame her.” 

“You find me charming?” Sooyoung shyly questioned as she kissed Jinsoul’s forehead.

“I find you to be many things… charming is definitely one of them though. You’re lovely Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung just stood there as she looked down at Jinsoul. Tucking her hair behind her ear and smiling softly. She’d never seen someone so beautiful. It still shocked her whenever she saw Jinsoul. Her beauty was unmatched. “You’re quite the stunner aren’t you?” 

“Right back at you..” Jinsoul said, placing her hand onto Sooyoung’s, kissing the back of it softly. “It’s been a long day… let’s get some rest my love..” 

**_//_ **

“No worries. Just kick me out. It won’t hurt my feelings seriously.” Jungeun playfully said. 

“Make sure to come around again.” Sooyoung smirked, obviously trying to fluster Jungeun. “It was nice meeting you…. _properly_.” 

“You’re dangerous, you know that?” Jungeun sighed deeply. “No wonder you got this girl wrapped around your damn finger….” Jungeun looked past Sooyoung, watching her friend slowly walk over to them from the living room area. “Take care of her alright…? She’s fragile.. and one of a kind, like fine china.” 

Sooyoung turned back to Jinsoul who smiled at her as she finally walked over to the two girls. “I’ll try my best.,, but I can’t make any promises.”

“You’re fucking sexy. I’ll give you that. But I won’t hesitate to fuck you up, if you hurt my friend.” Jungeun threatened, ending it with a smile and a pat on Sooyoung’s shoulder. Smiling even harder when Jinsoul showed up.

“All good?” 

“Yes. I’ll be back to bother you two soon hopefully.” She smiled, allowing Jinsoul to pull her into a hug before she walked off. 

She waved as Jungeun backed out of the driveway, making her way down to the entrance. When she turned back to Sooyoung she had a seductive smirk on her face. “Now we’re all alone aren’t we?” She smiled softly, putting her hands into Sooyoung’s back pockets and pulling her closer.

“We are.” She kissed her cutely. 

“Then why don’t we bake cookies together!” Jinsoul cutely said.

“ _Cookies_?” Sooyoung questioned confused.

“Yeah.. it’d be nice to bake with you… or something. I just thought it’d be cute… I took the cookie dough from my own home to bring it here.” She announced softly, pulling Sooyoung back into the house. “I have icing and sprinkles… so we can decorate them.” 

“You’re just an adorable little one aren’t you?” 

“What’s so adorable about wanting to bake cookies?” 

Sooyoung laughed softly, standing beside Jinsoul as she grabbed the ingredients out of the fridge and cabinets. “It’s not the fact you want to bake them.. it’s just so cute how excited _you are_ to bake them…” She’d never seen someone so pure in her life. She hated how Jinsoul missed out on such small things in her life growing up. Tiny things that anyone should’ve been able to experience. But she didn’t get to. It was sweet to see her so excited to do it. And yet so devastating… how she wasn’t able to experience such minuscule things. 

“I have sugar cookies, oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies..” She smiled. “Come on, let’s bake.. we have Harry Potter movies to binge watch today... my sister suggested I watch them for once.” 

“Harry Potter?” Sooyoung questioned.

“Mhmmm, wizards.” She cutely said, grabbing an apron and tying it around Sooyoung’s waist. 

Sooyoung could see how excited she was. So she didn’t reveal how she’d seen every Harry Potter movie with her brother before. She didn’t mind watching them again for Jinsoul. She also didn’t have it in her to crush her spirits. She seemed so excited, so she didn’t say a word. She stood beside her and they removed the dough from the containers they were in. 

She watched from afar as Jinsoul perfectly shaped the cookies onto the pan. Smiling any time they made eye contact. And not that it wasn’t obvious before, but it was hitting Sooyoung like a ton of bricks seeing that Jinsoul was madly in love with her and she’d be breaking her heart unwillingly in less than a week now. Jinsoul put some of the cookie dough on her finger and let Sooyoung taste, her eyes watching as her lips wrapped around her finger gently.

“Sugar?”

“Mhm…” She kissed her softly. “Baby you’re taking forever with the oatmeal cookies..” She pointed out, seeing Sooyoung still holding a glob of it in her hands. 

“Sorry I-I was just too busy watching you.” 

“Well the longer you take here the longer it’ll take to finally be with me right? So finish them, so we can start watching while we wait.” 

“Anything for you _Princess_.”

* * *

Sooyoung didn’t know what she was expecting that night. But she wasn’t expecting the other woman to walk into the room with pink lingerie on. Smiling at Sooyoung with those devilish eyes watching her every move. Sooyoung was just patiently waiting for Jinsoul to return from her shower. She wasn’t expecting to toss her phone to the side because her mouth had quite literally dropped open at the sight of Jinsoul. Her dark hair cascaded over one shoulder and her lips tightly shut as she tried to remain in control of the situation.

Sooyoung instantly stood up. “What are you…?” 

“I just…. I’m all yours tonight… and always of course but..” She rambled. “You won’t be all mine in a few days. So I just… I wanted to treat you with this.” 

“You in lingerie?” Sooyoung questioned.

“Yes and also… I’m allowing you to do whatever you want with me tonight… I know I won’t be seeing you for a while… I just— Sooyoung please show me what it’s like to be loved.” 

“Through sex?” She was confused now, eyeing Jinsoul carefully as her hands rested on her soft exposed skin.

“I want you to make love to me Sooyoung…” 

“Is that what you want?” 

“I want anything that you have to offer….”

* * *

“Was your weekend okay?” Lucas questioned as Jinsoul zoned out. Thinking about the way Sooyoung made love to her just the night before. Thankfully she was good with makeup, so she covered the dark red marks that littered her neck after that night. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way Sooyoung kissed her that day that she left. 

Like it was their last kiss and she wanted to savor the moment. She looked in Jinsoul’s eyes so deeply. Especially the night she begged her to claim her as hers. Her heart would probably explode just thinking about the way Sooyoung spoke to her that night. They fell asleep on the floor in the room together. Two pillows and a blanket to cover them. She didn’t need the extra pillow though, Sooyoung was her pillow. She was also her blanket. Providing her comfort while also keeping her warm. 

She’d never felt _that_ good, and she was beginning to wonder if she was doing a bit too much. Had she fallen too in love with Sooyoung? Especially in such a short amount of time? Now she was terrified, and the way her heart nearly stopped working every time she thought about Sooyoung saying ‘I do’ to some man, she understood why Sooyoung was hesitant. Why she was hesitant in letting this continue. Because she knew it would _hurt_ Jinsoul. And Sooyoung would rather die than to hurt Jinsoul. Because she loved her. And Jinsoul loved her. 

But in this world, this universe, they just weren’t meant to be together. And she prayed at night that they’d find their way back to each other. 

And Lucas noticed. The vacant look in her eyes when she returned home, all throughout that week leading up to the wedding. He knew.

He knew because he found the images that Jinsoul had taken of Sooyoung. She hid them well, but his intuition told him that something wasn’t right. He found them, and he cried so hard that he had to leave the house that night and get drunk at a bar. Renting the entire place out to avoid outsiders taking pictures of the princess’ husband in despair. 

He was hurt. But he wasn’t angry. Jinsoul was a lovely woman. She couldn’t contain her feelings. She gave her all, and her all just happened to be given to Sooyoung. And he couldn’t be angry at that. He couldn’t. 

But it was getting hard to ignore the sobs he would hear coming from the bathroom. The sobs you’d only hear if you placed your ear onto the door and held your breath long enough. She was broken, and it broke him to see. He still loved her, of course he did. But it was clear that she didn’t love him, not the way he’d thought she loved him for the past few months now. She’d never been the same since Sooyoung came into her life. But he kept quiet. He didn’t say a word.

It was getting hard to ignore her body shaking at night though. Especially the last two nights leading up to the wedding. He could tell she felt defeated… broken. And he felt hopeless not helping her. But he couldn’t, not yet. 

It wasn’t until one morning where Jinsoul’s eyes were so puffy from crying one night that he questioned her. Only because then it was so obvious, and she was having such a hard time covering it because her heart was broken. 

“Are you alright?” Lucas questioned.

“Yes.” Jinsoul immediately jumped up. “I’m fine.” 

Lucas nodded, standing across from her and passing her a plate of food. It was breakfast that their chef had made, over an hour ago. She was late to breakfast. Her heart was too broken to get out of bed at their usual time. “You look tired… drained.” He pointed out.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She answered, eyeing the food. She didn’t have much of an appetite either.

“I know.” He said, getting straight to the point. “Because you were crying all night.” 

“How’d you kno—“ 

“You can only stifle your cries… you can’t stifle sobs that well Jinsoul. I’ve known you for some time now…” He pointed out. “Now— I’m going to ask you one question, and you’re going to answer me _truthfully_. 

“What is it?” 

“Well.” He said, clearing his throat. “Actually I have two. Sorry, for the immersion break…” 

Jinsoul just looked at him confused, but her heart felt just a little lighter seeing that he was still the same Lucas. Goofy and charming. “Um, first question.” 

She waited patiently.

“Are you going to Sooyoung’s wedding in 2 days?” 

“Lucas—“

“Just asking.,, because we were invited. By Rowoon of course.” 

“I-I didn’t exactly plan to go.” 

Lucas chuckled. “How would Sooyoung feel about that?” 

“I don’t know—“

“You do know.” He cut her off. “Now here is my second question. And don’t lie to me okay? I’m begging you…” He shakily questioned.

Jinsoul felt her heart sank, and her head was spinning the longer she sat here waiting for his words.

“Have you been cheating on me with Sooyoung?”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lucas is going to respond positively to the answer Jinsoul will give him??? How do you think Jinsoul is going to respond to such a question??? Please share your thoughts ❤️.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe. Please take care of yourselves, and those around you. Much love ❤️


	7. IMPORTANT NOTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ.

Hello. I’d like to first say, I am sorry for the delay in updates as I have much more important things to worry about. I’ve been actively participating in protests that are happening in the world as I am sure many of you are aware of. 

Due to that, I haven’t had my mind on much writing or anything kpop related for that matter because I’ve been out in the world hoping to make a change and to spread the word of everything that is happening.

I strongly advise all of my readers to please speak up, and not stay silent during times like these. Our voices are needed to make a change. To show the world that we’re stronger than them and we will beat the racist, discriminatory people in this world. I don’t consider them people. I consider them trash. Trash that needs to be taken out. 

There is no time for peacefulness anymore. We’ve tried being peaceful and it has helped to no avail. Please open your eyes and see the world for what it is around you. We must make a change. 

I strongly advise you take a look at the link I will post below. Don’t hesitate to donate to these protesters, these people in need of bail money to get out of jail after being unlawfully arrested just for the color of their skin. Sign petitions. Please help us get justice for these people and many others who could be harmed by such things. Please don’t stay silent. And if you can’t donate, at least share to get the word out. 

I don’t have individual links, but I have a thread that could be useful to helping those in need at such a critical time. Please use your voice. Please stand by the people who need you the most right now. Please listen to those in need. Silence is siding with the oppressors. Please use your voice for something that matters.

**#BLACKLIVESMATTER**  
**#JUSTICEFORGEORGEFLOYD ##JUSTICEFORBREONNATAYLOR**

**LINK FOR GOFUNDMES,BAILS, PETITIONS:**

**https://twitter.com/s4hia/status/1267690972227526656?s=21  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COPY THE LINK INTO YOUR BROWSER. PLEASE HELP THOSE IN NEED AT THIS CRITICAL TIME. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“But I believe we have an unhappy ending too.”_
> 
> _Sooyoung’s heart stopped. “What is it?”_
> 
> _“You leaving me.” She quietly said, forcing back her own tears._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, back with another update. A long one too. I’ve been working on this in between the time I manage to find, so I hope it meets your expectations? I didn’t proof read much so dont mind any errors (I usually go back and fix them >_<) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

“You don't need to lie. I’m not going to hurt you.” He said, watching as her lips quivered. Her tears fell freely now, and he wanted to hug her and hold her. To tell her it was okay. But he wasn’t sure that was his place anymore.. 

“Lucas I’m so sorry.. I’m so fucking sorry…” She sobbed, her face in her hands. “Please don’t out me. Please… you’ll hurt Sooyoung..” 

And that's when he realized. He realized how deep Jinsoul was in. Because her thoughts weren’t on herself, but rather on Sooyoung. “I’ll do anything— just please…. don’t hurt her—“

Lucas grabbed the weeping woman’s face gently, forcing her to look at him. “I told you I’m not going to hurt you.” He kissed her softly, knowing it’d probably be the last time he was able to. “I’d never hurt you. Never.” 

“But I hurt you.” 

“Yeah because I love you.” He admitted. “And it hurts to see you love someone else but hell— who am I to stop you from being happy?” 

“Lucas?” She called out, seeing a single tear fall from his eye as he quickly wiped it away. 

“I told you that your happiness meant more to me than anything… that doesn’t change now..” He explained. “And yeah, it hurts like hell— but who am I to stop you?”

“You’re my husband.” 

“I was never really your husband. That was just a title. Yeah we had sex sometimes, and I had plans for a future… but you’ve never been really mine.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“But it is.” He said. “Sure you love me… but clearly not like you love this girl.” He pointed out. It hurt. It really did, but he wanted her to be happy. And being with him wasn’t where she was happy. But he could see it in her eyes, for months now. The light that was there slowly flickered away and was only lit by Sooyoung whenever she was in Jinsoul’s presence. And if not physically in her presence then mentally. “I’ve heard you crying the past few nights… Sooyoung’s getting married tomorrow afternoon. And we’re going to be there.” 

“What? No.” 

“And you’re going to claim your woman.” Lucas said.

“Lucas I can’t do that. I can’t be selfish. I can’t ruin Sooyoung’s life.” 

“Run off with her.” 

“You don’t think I’ve been trying?” 

He side eyed her briefly. “Sorry.” She apologized quickly. “But I can’t. I-I can’t. She’d hate me…” 

Lucas sighed deeply. “Maybe you could put a stop to it. At least prevent the wedding from happening… you don’t have to necessarily confess your love to her—“

“So I’ll be crashing the wedding. And for what? What will be the _Princess’_ reason for crashing another rich wedding?” 

Lucas was stumped now. His brain didn’t really work that well, he was just trying to help Jinsoul somehow. He just didn’t know what to do anymore. “Alright then. No wedding crashing…” 

“What about us? What’s going to happen to us?” 

Lucas chuckled, rubbing his temples softly. “I don’t know.. but it’s clear I’m not the person you want to be with.” He pointed out. “I’m not sure how to hide this from your parents— hell my own..” 

“We don’t say anything..” 

“So I’m your beard?” 

Jinsoul turned to him with a disgusted face. “What? What is that?”

“Pretending to be the boyfriend of a gay girl.” He mentioned. “I googled it about a week ago.. before the… breakdown this week.” 

Jinsoul laughed through her tears. It was such an unreal situation, but it also made her heart wrench. Because who knows how this would end, and how badly it would end for Sooyoung if this information got out. “I just don’t think I can stomach seeing her…” 

“Then I’ll go. And I’ll tell you alll about the wedding.” He smiled. “That’s not sarcasm. I really will do it. Although I’m not sure how Sooyoung would feel seeing me but not you.”

“... I think for once, I need to be selfish here.” She admitted. “I have to be, because I truly don’t think I’ll survive otherwise..”

* * *

“So this dude knows you’re fucking a sexy chick on the side?” Jungeun pointed out. “And he doesn’t have an issue with it?” 

Jinsoul rolled her eyes. “Of course he does… but not to the point he’ll resent me for it… and try to ruin my life.” 

“I mean… I would..” 

“You’re an asshole.” Jinsoul responded, hearing Jungeun cackle from the other sofa in her home. She followed Jinsoul around the home as they walked aimlessly through the halls. 

“Where do you go from here?” 

“Honestly… I have no clue….”

* * *

Sooyoung sat at the island as Heejin watched her friend miserably drinking another shot. She made sure she didn’t have any more liquor in her system since she had to drive home tonight. To be fair, Sooyoung felt at a loss. The end was much closer than she expected it. She’d be stuck in this marriage for god knows how long, probably forced to pop out babies somewhere down the line.

“That’s enough vodka.” Heejin sternly said, taking the glass away from Sooyoung and handing her a bottle of water. “You have to drive home tonight.. you need to be sober.” She said, and Sooyoung chuckled, her head hanging slightly as she laughed at her demise. She’d much rather die than go through what she had to go through tomorrow. But with sad eyes she smiled back at Heejin, who smiled at her sadly.

“Thanks Heej..” Sooyoung smiled, and Heejin smiled back. 

“It’s no problem.” She replied. “Stay here, and don’t move. I’m going to make sure the kids are in bed.” She said, and Sooyoung nodded. Sipping her water quickly as her phone vibrated. It was Minho, calling to make sure she was okay and ready for tomorrow.

“Tomorrow’s the big day huh little sis?” He questioned, grabbing a milk carton from his fridge and shutting it with the heel of his foot. 

“Yayy.” She sarcastically said.

“I figured you’d say that.” He said, pouring the milk into the ridiculously large bowl of cereal he had. “I was just calling to say that I love you.” 

“What happens if I just run away right now?” She questioned and Minho felt his heart drop. 

“Well… no more of that. The last time you did that I felt my heart fall out of my chest.. so please— no more running away.” He pleaded, although his voice was still a bit calm. He knew she’d never do that again, especially considering how close they’ve grown, and the relationships she’s formed. 

“I won’t.. but it sounds pretty nice right now.” 

“Let’s knock this wedding out of the way tomorrow yeah?” 

“Yeah..” She smiled sadly. “I gotta go… and I love you too.” 

Just as she hung up, she could hear Heejin’s loud voice upstairs, probably yelling at the noisy kids. She picked up her phone, biting her lip nervously as she texted the person she didn’t plan on seeing for about another week or so. 

Jinsoul was just sitting down for dinner with Lucas when her phone vibrated. Sooyoung’s name popped up on her screen with two new messages attached. 

Lucas just raised his eyebrows as he looked down at his plate. It still hurt, but he couldn’t deny how happy it made him to see Jinsoul’s eyes light up. 

From Sooyoung ❤️: Hi

From Sooyoung ❤️: Meet me at our place… we should talk

“Let me guess, my wife is being taken from me by her girlfriend now.” Lucas jokingly said and Jinsoul blushed at the playful manner in his tone. She could tell it hurt but he was trying. At least for _her_.

“I promise we can have dinner again tomorrow.” She quickly jumped up, leaving the kitchen.

“The wedding is tomorrow!” Lucas yelled out, hearing the front door close as he sighed deeply. “Welp—“ He picked up his plate and grabbed a beer from the fridge, sitting on the couch alone. The fact that Jinsoul wasn’t his sinking in even more for him now. But it dawned on him that she was never really truly his, the reality of it all hitting him all at once as he downed his beer.

* * *

Sooyoung hugged Heejin tightly. “See you at the wedding tomorrow?” She questioned and Heejin nodded assuringly.

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything.” 

“Don’t expect much.” Sooyoung said.

“You’re marrying into a rich family, I’m expecting a lot. Like waiters doing backflips with trays of cheese and crackers on their hands.” She smiled.

Sooyoung shook her head. “That’s physically impossible.” 

“No it’s not. I saw it on youtube before.” She defended. “Look it up.” 

“I’m not looking up waiters backflipping Heejin.” The shorter girl shrugged.

“Suit yourself. But I’m expecting to see that.” 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” She said, laughing and shaking her head as she began walking to her car. 

“Oh and Sooyoung—“

“Yeah?” She quickly turned around to see her friend smiling softly back at her.

“I love you.” 

“Love you too Heej.” 

**_//_ **

Heejin cuddled up behind Hyunjin, assuming the other woman was asleep. She’d been awake for about 15 minutes now, tossing and turning while Heejin showered. So she softly relaxed into her arms, feeling a kiss on her cheek. “You’re awake?” Heejin asked.

“Yeah.. can’t sleep.” She admitted. 

“Is everything okay?” Heejin questioned as she held Hyunjin much tighter now, knowing something was off. Hyunjin just stared in the other direction as she felt Heejin’s hand slowly intertwine with her own. 

“Yeah… just… I feel so bad for Sooyoung.” 

Heejin instantly frowned at that. “It’s just so obvious she doesn't want this… the sacrifices you have to make just so people that you love and care for don’t disown you..” 

“Hey…. don’t talk like that—“

“It’s true. You and I both see it. Sooyoung is like us. Except she can’t just run off and leave… what a shit society we live in. It’s 2020 people not the fucking 50’s.” 

Heejin giggled at Hyunjin’s ranting, but she knew she meant every word she said. She softly kissed her again, moving her hair from her face as she rested her chin on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Sooyoung will be okay… she’s strong… and she knows she has us if she needs it… don’t worry.” She tried to reassure her as best as she could. 

Hyunjin nodded, closing her eyes and relaxing once more into the arms around her. She didn’t say much else, and eventually she dozed off again. Heejin just sat awake that night, staring at the ceiling for a bit before she knocked out too.

* * *

Jinsoul arrived first, her guards letting her in immediately. She waited anxiously for Sooyoung to arrive, changing into more comfortable attire. A $3000 silk gown to relax in. She removed her hair from the ponytail it was in, letting the long black hair fall down her back. 

It was about another 35 minutes before she got an alert from her guards letting her know she had company. The moment she walked to the door, wanting to greet Sooyoung before she came up the stairs to the door, she was already there. Wearing a simple white shirt with a leather jacket over it.

She grabbed Jinsoul’s face with her hands and kissed her softly at first, and then a bit more aggressive. She shut the door behind them, removing her jacket and tossing it somewhere as her attention remained on Jinsoul. Her Jinsoul. The Jinsoul she would have to end things with soon… 

Her heart ached thinking about that. How getting married meant she’d have way less access to her. Rowoon already planned to move to a different part of Korea. About 3 hours away from Jinsoul. Far from the city. His mother convinced him to do it. 

She found out just last night.

Which is why she kissed Jinsoul, picking her up in her arms as the other girl wrapped her legs around Sooyoung. 

She felt lightheaded from the kiss, it seemed to have lasted forever before she was sat down onto the counter by her lover. She felt Sooyoung’s wet mouth all over her neck as her fingernails scratched gently at her exposed thighs. “S-Sooyoung… is everything okay?”

“Shhh….” Sooyoung said softly against her lips, slowly moving down and removing the article of clothing that got in her way. She spread Jinsoul’s legs and smiled at the sight of her. Watching how flustered Jinsoul was by the entire situation. Everything was happening so sudden, and the look in Sooyoung’s eyes was hard to read. But Jinsoul didn’t want to stop her either. Maybe she needed this… either way, she missed Sooyoung. It hadn’t been long since they last met. 

Her head hit the cabinet behind her as she felt Sooyoung’s tongue where she needed her the most. Forgetting what she planned on asking within seconds as her mind went blank and she focused on the way Sooyoung’s tongue moved against her. She pulled her closer, her hands in her dark hair as she watched her in between her legs. 

Coming up for air once she was sure Jinsoul had finished. She kissed her again, hearing Jinsoul moan against her lips. She held her close, kissing her as her head pressed painfully against the cabinet behind her. She tried to push back, the both of them seemingly fighting for dominance until she felt Sooyoung’s kisses become softer and weaker. 

When suddenly she heard a stifled sob, her eyes instantly opened as she saw tears leaving Sooyoung’s eyes. “Sooyoung…” She called out softly, watching as the girl backed away and sat onto the floor. Holding her knees against her chest. 

“Rowoon wants to move out soon… preferably in 2 weeks.” She announced as she swallowed hard. “His mom convinced him… and of course he agreed.” 

Jinsoul didn’t even know what to say, and quite frankly she felt just a bit… uncomfortable… from what just happened. But she ignored it, trying her best to comfort Sooyoung. Her heart sank at that piece of information though. “Lucas knows about us..” 

Sooyoung quickly turned to Jinsoul with fear in her eyes. “He won’t tell anyone.” She said quickly to calm her. 

“How did he—“

“He…. managed to find your little naked photoshoot..” 

“Jinsoul—“

“I promise it’s fine… other than the fact he knows what your boobs look like now.” She added.

Sooyoung scoffed, hearing Jinsoul giggle. “He won’t tell a soul.” 

“How are you so sure of that?” Sooyoung questioned, turning to her with tears still falling from her eyes. Her heart beat uncontrollably fast as she looked into Jinsoul’s eyes. Those brown eyes that made her feel like everything was okay, even if it was just for a moment. She grasped onto that feeling because it was honestly the only good feeling she’d ever have. 

“Because he loves me…” Jinsoul said surely. “He’d never do anything to hurt me..” 

“Must be nice.” Sooyoung laughed bitterly. There were a lot of thoughts running through her brain right at that moment. But none of them was more heart wrenching than knowing she’d be far away from Jinsoul. There’d be no more sneaking off to their little hideout. No more seeing each other over their significant other’s place.. at least not for a while. She wasn’t sure what it was that made her fall for Jinsoul so fast before. But after spending so much time with her, it all made sense. It was the way she smiled.

The way she kissed her so softly, full of pure love and affection. The way she held her, and wanted to take care of her. The way she slept close to Sooyoung because she wanted to feel all of her warmth against her. The way she laughed loudly and sometimes when she laughed too hard she would throw her head back. The way she whined whenever Sooyoung didn’t show her enough attention, making cute faces and noises to get it from the taller girl. It all came rushing at her, and although it was terrifying and overwhelming at first, she wanted nothing more than to love Jinsoul endlessly. 

But that wasn’t how their happy ending worked. And at this point, she wasn’t even sure there would be one. But she was sure Jinsoul was the love of her life. She never really believed in love. She never felt like she would meet her _person_. But she was sure Jinsoul was her person. And everyone had different variations and perceptions of love. But she was sure the love she had for Jinsoul was the good kind. The awfully good heart wrenching, die at old age together love. People say when you meet the love of your life, time tends to stop, and it’s true. Because everything was moving so quickly around her, but the one thing that stayed consistent was Jinsoul.

Her love for her. That smile that greeted her whenever they lay eyes on each other. The excitement in her eyes whenever she would jump into Sooyoung’s arms and kiss her. Feeling Sooyoung’s arms holding her tightly. 

They were in love, they just wanted to be together. What was so wrong with that? 

Almost _everything_.

But deep down, Sooyoung would never find someone who completes her the way Jinsoul does. She’s caring, forgiving, and she loves hard and deep. Sooyoung was grateful to be on the receiving end of it all.

“Do you believe in happy endings?” Sooyoung suddenly asked, watching as Jinsoul stopped carefully wiping the tears that fell from Sooyoung’s eyes. 

“I’ve never thought of them… not until I met you.” She confessed.

“Do you believe we have a happy ending?” Sooyoung questioned, her voice shaky as she wasn’t prepared for the answer. 

Jinsoul let out a deep breath. “Yes.” She softly replied, wiping another tear that fell from Sooyoung’s eye. “But I believe we have an unhappy ending too.” 

Sooyoung’s heart stopped. “What is it?” 

“You leaving me.” She quietly said, forcing back her own tears. 

Sooyoung didn’t say anything back. She couldn’t make promises she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep. Her life was out of her control for the most part. She wished she had an easier life. 

“Jinsoul…” 

“It’s okay. I understand… We are very different people from very different backgrounds, but I think the one thing we have in common is our love for each other.” She explained. “You leaving me would hurt me more than anything… but I think I would be satisfied with the fact that for once in my life… I felt what it was like to be loved by someone… nobody will ever love me the way you love me Sooyoung.” 

And before she could even process it she felt lips against hers and a soft hand gently caressing her cheek. 

“I will always love you.” She assured her. 

Jinsoul smiled softly. “I love when you say that.” 

“That I love you?”

“Yeah…” She shyly replied. “I can tell that you mean it… your eyes tell me everything I need to know..” She pointed out, staring into the eyes that belonged to someone who felt broken. 

Sooyoung had the kindest eyes. But they said a thousand words. When she was sad, Jinsoul noticed. When she was anxious or agitated, Jinsoul noticed. She always noticed, and she never got tired of looking into those brown eyes. In her eyes, she found everything she needed. 

“You’re getting married tomorrow…” 

Sooyoung sighed. “Not my greatest achievement.” She replied.

“And yet you’re here… with me.” Jinsoul added shortly after. 

It was true. She was here with Jinsoul. Not getting a good night's rest for her early morning makeup and hair routine that was scheduled for her. She was here, and it felt more peaceful and exciting than some stupid wedding. Jinsoul reached into the fridge and handed Sooyoung her own bottle. “D'ussé? Really?” 

“Special occasion.” She smiled, lifting her bottle up to toast. “To… whatever it is that happens from here on out.” 

“Do you think this is the end for us?” Sooyoung questioned as Jinsoul immediately began drinking from her bottle. Her face squinting at the strong taste. She badly hoped Jinsoul said it wouldn’t be. 

“Sooyoung, as long as I’m alive… there will never be an end for us.” 

“Bold statement.” 

“I’m in love with you.” Jinsoul admitted, but it wasn’t like Sooyoung didn’t know. “And because you’re being officially taken away from me tomorrow.. doesn’t mean that just stops and goes away.” 

“What if it does? Eventually?” Sooyoung asked. She was afraid, leaning her head onto Jinsoul’s shoulder as they sat on the floor of the kitchen, drinking together. 

“Don’t ask silly questions..” Jinsoul replied, leaning her head onto Sooyoung’s. “This is _forever_.” 

**_//_ **

They both nearly finished their bottles, giggling and becoming touchier as the seconds passed. Sooyoung held Jinsoul’s hand and kissed it softly. Loving the vanilla scent that wafted from her skin. She was stunning, everything about her. 

There was something special about that night. The way they kissed, and held each other. The way they looked into each other’s eyes. The way Jinsoul led Sooyoung to the bedroom, her eyes watching her closely as the woman in front of her slowly moved to the bed. Sooyoung shut the door behind them, quickly walking across the room to put her lips onto Jinsoul’s. 

It felt different, much different. They were kissing as if it was the last time they’d ever be able to. It left Jinsoul a melting mess, following whatever rhythm Sooyoung set for them with her soft lips. She pulled away, removing her shirt and revealing the cute sports bra she wore. Jinsoul removed her gown, the both of them giggling when she realized she was practically naked underneath it. Sooyoung just smiled into the kiss, pushing her further onto the bed as her hands gently traveled all over her soft body. Her skin was practically on fire, the only thing cooling it was Sooyoung’s wet kisses. 

She held Sooyoung close as they kissed until their lips were red and they were nearly gasping for air. She watched as Sooyoung removed the rest of her clothing and gently placed her body back atop of Jinsoul. “You’re beautiful..” Sooyoung complimented, moving a string of hair from Jinsoul’s face.

“You always say that.” She pointed out with a shy smile.

“Doesn’t get any less true.” Sooyoung smirked, kissing her neck softly and slowly traveling down her body. Leaving wet kisses down the woman’s body. And since she had nothing to hide, she made sure she nipped a little harder at the skin this time around. Especially on her inner thighs, leaving red marks there as her fingers touched her lover’s most sacred areas. 

Her fingers were soon accompanied by her tongue, swirling at the sensitive bud as her fingers moved in and out of Jinsoul. The sweet sound of her moans reminding Sooyoung this was what she’d been wanting since forever. Having someone completely enthralled by her, that someone not being a man who usually only wanted one thing from her. Jinsoul loved her, for her. She made her feel good, and she boosted her ego when it was needed. Especially in that moment, hearing her name pass those pretty pink lips. 

Moaning out to Sooyoung and demanding she touch her more, to suck at her untouched skin and fuck her just a little harder. To leave marks and claim what was hers, even if not officially. She wanted to be Sooyoung’s. Even if it was just for one more night. 

“Sooyoung— you’re so good…. fuck.” She moaned out, feeling the pressure in her stomach building up the longer Sooyoung had her fingers inside of her. Her eyes shut tightly as her fingers ran through Sooyoung’s hair, gripping tightly and pulling her closer, just like she did back in the kitchen. She never got enough of her. It seemed like each time she just got better and better. She never wanted it to end. She could lay here in bed with Sooyoung all day and she wouldn’t complain. 

They’d talk, laugh, play around, havs sex, sleep, or just stare at each other until one of them got tired. Which they never did.. they never got tired of looking at each other. So it’d usually end in a heated makeout session. And before she knew it, Sooyoung was tickling her so she could win for sure, making Jinsoul laugh so hard she fell off the bed. But Sooyoung helped her up, kissing the part of her head that hit the floor, and she felt better.

She was all Sooyoung’s, but she knew Sooyoung wasn’t all hers, and she never truly knew when she would be. But for now, she was hers. Because Sooyoung was enjoying the sounds that she failed to hold back as she reached her climax, seeing the cocky smirk on Sooyoung’s face as she slowly kissed up her body. 

Jinsoul pulled her close, kissing her softly as her hands ran up and down Sooyoung’s soft back. She slowly flipped them over, not disconnecting their lips for even a second. 

“I-I want to try something…” Jinsoul softly said against her lips.

“Huh?” Sooyoung questioned, pouting when Jinsoul pulled away from her and got off of the bed. 

“I’ll be back.” She said, before slipping out of the room and leaving Sooyoung confused and slightly anxious. She wondered what it was Jinsoul wanted to try. But she relaxed, knowing the other woman wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. She waited patiently, flipping over and checking her phone to see the time. She sighed when she noticed 4 missed calls from Rowoon. 

“Ugh.” She groaned, suddenly hearing Jinsoul’s cute voice coming from the other side of the door. 

“Close your eyes.” Jinsoul requested. “I’m kind of shy…” 

Sooyoung did as she was told, her body excitedly waiting to see what Jinsoul had in store for her. She felt a dip in the bed and her legs being spread as Jinsoul comfortably relaxed in between them, kissing her softly. “What’d you want to show me?” Sooyoung questioned softly against her lips, and Jinsoul smiled back, looking down between the two of them. Sooyoung’s eyes followed as well, her eyes widening at what she saw. “Oh…” 

“It’ll be okay..” Jinsoul assured her, the strap already lubed up and easily put inside of her from how wet she was already. Sooyoung moaned out instantly at the feeling. It’s not like she’d never had sex like this.. but it was different. This was Jinsoul, and she loved her, and actually genuinely enjoyed every second of the pink toy filling her up as she lied on her back. Her mouth fell open as her nails dug into the pale skin that belonged to Jinsoul. Nearly drawing blood when she dug a little deeper when Jinsoul got just a little rougher with her movements.

She held eye contact for as long as she could, but she eventually got lost in the pleasure. Her eyes shut tightly as she moaned Jinsoul’s name loudly. Ignoring how embarrassing it was and ignoring the way her cheeks heated up. She loved this, she loved Jinsoul. “I’m close…” She warned, but even if she didn’t say those words, Jinsoul could tell. Her moans were much louder, and she was panting more and more.

She moved her hips faster, pushing Sooyoung to her climax as she hit all of the spots that made the woman below her want to scream. Her back arched as she had her release, Jinsoul’s name leaving her lips repeatedly as she came down from her high. Her legs shook as Jinsoul kissed her all over her chest and neck softly. “I love you so much..” Jinsoul whispered. 

She gave Sooyoung some time to relax before she unexpectedly thrusted her hips forward again. “Holy fuc—“ Sooyoung moaned out, her arms wrapping around Jinsoul’s body as she pressed her chest against Sooyoung’s. Still kissing her neck and eventually biting down too as she became more and more aggressive. 

“Just like that..” Sooyoung praised quietly, she felt dizzy from the pleasure she was receiving. But she didn’t want it to end, especially because once again she was so close to her release. She bit down onto Jinsoul’s shoulder as she felt that familiar sensation building in her lower stomach. “Don’t stop!” She yelled out, holding Jinsoul as close as she could. 

Her body shuddered against Jinsoul’s as she came hard, her mind going blank as Jinsoul kept moving her hips to help her ride it out. “Whoa…” Sooyoung sighed, her tone full of content. Jinsoul gently pushed her hair from her face, kissing her softly and admiring how beautiful she was. Especially now in this moment. 

She gave her some time to breathe before pulling out, kissing Sooyoung’s toned abs and eyeing her carefully. She felt so lucky in that moment. Seeing Sooyoung like this and having someone this attractive and loving being vulnerable like this with her. She cleaned off the strap before removing it from her body, and Sooyoung bit down on her lip as she watched. “Hey um… can I try now?” She questioned shyly, and Jinsoul smiled at her.

“Of course you can…” She said, walking over to the bed and handing it to her.

“How do I…?” 

Jinsoul smiled even more at how adorable Sooyoung was in that moment. Her curious yet excited eyes looked more beautiful than ever. “Here, stand up.. I’ll help.” She stood still as Jinsoul placed the strap on her, wanting it to be comfortable she watched for any signs of uncomfortness. Adjusting the straps and smiling at how adorable Sooyoung looked. She didn’t even know that was possible. Someone to be so cute in a moment like… _this_. But Sooyoung showed her that it is 100% possible and can be done. Just by existing. But that was only Sooyoung.. nobody could do things the way Sooyoung did and there was no one in this world that could top her. 

She waited patiently for Sooyoung to do what she needed before kissing her softly, and then proceeded to move to the bed as she held her hand. But Sooyoung reversed their positions before they got comfy, sitting upright and bringing Jinsoul to her lap. She held her close, unaware that Jinsoul was helping her by putting the toy inside of herself. She smirked, looking into Sooyoung’s eyes the entire time.

Despite feeling extremely good in that moment, she just couldn’t help but smile at Sooyoung. Seeing the innocent look on her face as she let Jinsoul take control. Grinding in her lap as she kissed her neck softly. It didn’t take long for the kisses to become a bit more aggressive, and she was sure her neck would be completely littered with marks that next morning. But it was her own fault for spurring Sooyoung on, scratching her back and moaning her name for what seemed like hours before she became limp in her arms. 

And Sooyoung waited patiently for her to get her bearings back, kissing her shoulder softly as she held Jinsoul close for what felt like it would be the last time for a very long time. 

She doesn’t know when they stopped, but she knew it was very late. Their session ended in the living room where they were sprawled out on the floor with blankets covering their bare bodies. The room slowly became illuminated with pale blue lighting as the sun had risen slowly. Sooyoung was awake, but Jinsoul was fast asleep at peace in her arms. She stared at the ceiling, laying there and thinking about how good it felt to just simply exist with Jinsoul. 

If things were that easy, she’d just run off with her. But it wasn’t about her. She couldn’t be selfish and she couldn’t burden her family again. She’d done it once before, a second time would be pushing it. And she’d be damned if she allowed one of her younger sisters to take her place. She wanted to protect them from this never ending pain she suffered. 

But none of that pain mattered. Not when Jinsoul was this warm and soft pressed against her body sleeping without a care in the world. She sighed deeply, twirling her finger against the soft skin of Jinsoul’s back as she lay in deep thought. It was an eventful night that ended with them kissing each other softly and quietly saying “I love you”. They eventually dozed off, but Sooyoung’s anxiety had woken her, the realization of everything going on eating away at her. 

She slowly slipped away from Jinsoul, headed to the room and got dressed. She wanted to stay, but she knew she couldn’t. She also made sure to not wake Jinsoul, because she knew if she did, and she saw those perfect brown eyes again, she’d never leave. But she had to, so this was for the best. She softly kissed her cheek, pulling the blanket up a little to cover her body as she slept on the floor of the warm living room. 

She felt her eyes water as she looked around at their safe haven and then back to the woman on the floor as she realized her fate of this situation. “I love you…” She quietly said, before slowly leaving without another sound.

**_//_ **

When she arrived home, the house was quiet. That empty, empty house that left her feeling like a black hole. The emotions she felt an hour ago completely sucked away the moment she stepped back into this house. She went upstairs to her room where Rowoon slept, his arm dangling off the bed. She shook her head, quickly unpacking her things and slipping into the shower. 

Her eyes were closed as she washed her hair but she could hear the bathroom door open. She didn’t even react to the presence she felt in there with her. The mere thought of him making her shoulders slump and her heart thump uncomfortably against the walls of her chest. “Big day ahead of us huh?” He smiled, moving to brush his teeth as he looked at his messy hair in the mirror. 

“My mom should be over soon with her employees to help you get ready.” He announced, pulling out floss. “She just called, she seemed excited.” 

“I’m sure she did.” Sooyoung boringly said, rinsing her hair and letting the water hit her face. 

“I’m excited.. you always look beautiful but today is… special.” He smiled.

It wasn’t special to her.

She didn’t respond, and she could hear him pulling out his electric razor and giving himself a fresh shave. “I’ll be heading over to my family's place, my dad and cousins are going to get me ready for the wedding.” He opened the shower door to give her a quick kiss. “See you very soon my love.” He smiled.

She didn’t even have the energy to match his enthusiasm anymore. She honestly didn’t even have the energy for today in general. Rowoon’s mother arrived before her own, and he was just heading out. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as she smiled up at her son. “My handsome boy.” She smiled. “Your father is so excited.” 

“I’m sure he is. See you in a bit mom.. take care of her.” He smiled, turning to wink at Sooyoung before leaving and getting inside of the limo his mother had reserved for his special day. 

Sooyoung stood on the stairs awkwardly as the woman turned to her. Her eyes caught a quick glance of their personal chef as she quickly moved into the kitchen.

“Time to.. glam you up. God knows you need that right now.. have you not been sleeping? Your eye bags are atrocious.” She judged heavily, and Sooyoung just took it. She didn’t have much of a choice, especially today. “Ladies— set up in there.” She ordered and Sooyoung sighed. 

Today was going to be a longgg day.

* * *

“Dude, why are you sitting here on your ass?” Jungeun questioned the moment she stepped into the house. The blankets from earlier still on the floor as she sat at the island and drank a vodka shot. “Alright, yeah— none of this.” She scolded, walking over and moving the bottle away from Jinsoul.

“She’s getting married today..” 

Jungeun shook her head. “You knew that….” 

“I did. But…. it’s actually going to _happen_.” She let out a breathy sigh. She cried enough that morning, the second she opened her eyes and realized Sooyoung wasn’t there on the floor with her anymore. But crying was exhausting, so she just decided to have a drink. “She’s actually going to get married and there’s nothing I can do about it…”

Jungeun sat anxiously, watching her friend with a sad look on her face. She placed a hand on Jinsoul’s shoulder and rubbed it soothingly. Trying to provide some sort of comfort. “And her husband wants to move away.”

“ _What?_ ” Jungeun questioned angrily.

“Yeah… probably wants a change of scenery.. or some shit.” She laughed bitterly. She slowly glanced over Jungeun’s outfit, realizing she was dressed for the wedding. She laughed again. “I’m not going.” 

“Jinsoul..” 

“You think I want to see the love of my life get married? Really?” She stood up. “Don’t be a fucking idiot Jungeun.” She snapped, realizing how harsh her words had come off. Jungeun just sat there stunned by her words and attitude towards her. She didn’t mean to take her anger and hurt out on her friend. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean—“

“I get it.” Jungeun quickly replied. “I understand you’re hurting but I’m not going to be your punching bag either.. besides, the wedding starts in like an hour and I’m pretty damn far away from the venue so…” 

Jinsoul teared up as her closest friend stood up. “I’m sorry Jungeun… you know I didn’t mean to do that.” 

“I said I get it.” She quickly said. “I have to go.. I’ll let you know how it went if you want to know.” She hugged Jinsoul tightly. “Love you.”

**_//_ **

“How does it look?” Minho questioned his girlfriend as he fixed his bowtie for the 50th time. 

“Honey, it looks amazing. Will you stop stressing out over a bowtie?” 

“I don’t want to look like an idiot on my little sister’s wedding day.” He said, hearing his phone ring as he slicked his hair back. He quickly picked it up. “Hello!” He said loudly. 

“Actually we were just getting ready to head out.” He replied to the person on the phone. His girlfriend made a few more adjustments to her makeup as he spoke on the phone. “Uhh yeah! That’s fine, I can do that. No problem. Bye”.

“What happened?”

“Family friend. She wants to ride to the venue with us.” 

“Splendid.” His girlfriend smiled. “Like a road trip.” 

“Furthest thing from a road trip.” He laughed, checking the time. “Alright, we gotta get going now, i’ll start up the car.” 

**_//_ **

“Wow. My little girl is getting married today.” The man said, allowing his wife to fix his tie. Her hair was pinned back for the occasion while she wore a nice silky burgundy dress. They were both excited to see their daughter getting married today. 

While they got ready, Yeojin and Yerim sat on the couch playing with their switches. “Do you think mom will let us take these?” Yeojin questioned.

“Highlyyyy doubt it.” Yerim replied. “It’s Sooyoung’s wedding. It would be rude!” 

“Her having a wedding while we play with our switches is rude!” Yeojin said back, hearing Yerim giggle awkwardly. 

“I don’t think it works that way...” She replied, hearing her parents come down the stairs finally. 

“You two look beautiful.” Their father said, kissing them both on the cheek. 

“Here take a picture with them!” She said, grabbing her phone and snapping a few pictures of the smaller girls with their father. It was nearing 11am now and the wedding started at 12. They had to get going soon, the venue wasn’t too close to their place.

“Alright, you two can play with the switches on the way there. But you’re not bringing them into the venue okay?” Their father said to them, and they both monotonously agreed.

“Yessssssss.” They responded in unison. 

“Okay let's go, let’s go!” The woman excitedly said, pushing them all out the door.

**_//_ **

“Dun dun dun dun!” Lucas shouted. “Woo!! Everybody… move your feet and feel unitedddd!” He sang, sliding across the floor with his bare feet. “Ohhhhh!” He sprayed some cologne on his bare chest, and put on his shirt.

He realized he was thirsty so he decided to grab a drink while still blasting the music through his stereo system. He slid down the banister and landed again, twirling while still singing. 

“Don’t stop the beat!” He shouted, shaking his ass a little before turning around and realizing he was being watched. “Everybody, move your fee— HOLY SHIT!” He shouted, nearly falling to the floor as Mark looked back at him with a traumatized face.

“Dude…” Mark said.

“Sorry.” Lucas said, clearing his throat. “Just having a pretty good morning is all.” He said, quickly walking by Mark as he buttoned his shirt and flipped his collar.

Mark sighed deeply. “Is Jinsoul not going?” He questioned.

“Doubt it.” Lucas replied as he returned from the kitchen. 

“But Sooyoung is her friend…” Mark pointed out and Lucas froze in his tracks.

“Yes… but Jinsoul is a busy woman and she gets tired. She’s not too big on events lately anyway… especially with paparazzi following her around more than ever lately..” 

“Ah..” Mark replied.

“Finish that cereal kid, we gotta get going soon.” Lucas said, trying his hardest to move on from not only that topic but the fact that Mark saw him dancing like an idiot. 

The boy stayed over last night because Jinsoul’s parents wanted him to get ready since they planned to go down to the venue early and wouldn’t be able to help him get ready. He was old enough to take care of himself, but they preferred he hang out with Lucas anyway. He was always stuck at home with Chaewon so they figured it’d be good bonding time.

Bonding time that Mark didn’t exactly sign up for. But he never really went against what they had to say or told him to do. He’d rather not get on their bad side. He’s seen what they can be like. 

“On it.” He replied as Lucas went up the stairs.

* * *

When they arrived, the parking lot was full of cars, and there were tons of people outside snapping professional pictures as Rowoon stepped out of his limo. He waved at everyone and even shook a few of his friends and families hands as he walked inside of the venue. The place looked even more expensive than it already had after some decorating. 

“Congratulations on the big day man.” His cousin said, shaking his hand excitedly and handing him a champagne bottle. “Thanks, give this to me later at dinner time yeah?” 

“For sure cousin. You look like an expensive man.”

“I am one.” He smiled, patting his cousin on the back as he moved down the aisle. The wedding was going to start in less than an hour now and the venue quickly began to fill up. Rowoon was a bit nervous the more time went by. His nerves got to him as he realized this was the moment. He was going to marry the woman he loved in front of everyone he cared for… well most of them anyway. 

He let out a deep breath, smiling and waving at more people. 

Time was ticking.

**_//_ **

“Alright little dude stop kicking my chair please!” Minho complained.

“Stop it..” Heejin warned them and they giggled. “How much longer till we get there?” 

“About 30 minutes.” Minho replied as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Traffic is ridiculous today…” Hyunjin added. “I’m surprised we’re even this close to the venue.” 

“Well we left pretty early so.” Minho replied, grunting directly after when he felt another kick to his back from behind. Heejin wasn’t paying attention so she didn’t scold them. But they were having a blast bothering Minho. Hyunjin gave them one glare and they instantly stopped, sitting up and smiling.

“You two need to behave today. Your godmother’s wedding is today and you don’t want her to see you being bad and getting in trouble right?” Hyunjin questioned, and they agreed. They loved their godmom, and she loved them. So they stopped being nuisances, not just for Sooyoung, but because their mom said so. 

Hyunjin was much scarier than Heejin was. But they both had smiles that made anyone else smile too. 

**_//_ **

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for us to show up together…” Doyeon pointed out.

“What? Why?” 

“Doesn’t it seem a bit fishy? I’m a clothing designer and an upcoming ambassador for gucci… I can’t be seen going into a place with—“

“Someone poor?” Jungeun cut her off, rolling her eyes.

“No Jungeun— with a woman…” She replied. “I like you a lot… I’m just not ready for the public to see this part of my life just yet…” 

Jungeun sighed. “We can just show up as friends. That’s possible, you know that right?” 

“Oh right…..”

* * *

Jinsoul paced back and forth in the house as she contemplated on going to the wedding or not. She definitely had too much vodka, but she was trying her best to quickly sober up. She ate some breakfast and drank tons of water. 

It was a constant battle with her head and her heart. Her brain told her to go and support Sooyoung, but her heart was selfish. Telling her she didn’t want to see Sooyoung giving herself to a man she didn’t even love. It was grueling, and frustrating and she got angrier and more upset the longer she stood around. Just thinking about how everyone else was there except for her. Even Jungeun attended the wedding. 

Her parents were going too, and that was the thing with rich people. They were all connected in some way. But due to her parents being there, that meant more press, and Sooyoung hated that… 

She frowned thinking about how nervous the woman probably was. It was bad enough she was getting married in front of an audience of over 100 people. She finally understood why Sooyoung hated it all. It was just for show, and she knew in a heartbeat she’d give it all up if it meant she could have Sooyoung to herself. 

“Fuck.” She yelled, quickly running to her room to throw on something nice and fix herself up. The wedding would be starting any minute now.

**_//_ **

The doors opened revealing Rowoon as all of the guests stood up and clapped loudly. Cheering for him as he walked down the aisle with that award winning smile and beautiful hair. His white suit accentuating his tall figure, and the diamond ring on his finger showing off his wealth. 

“He looks good at least..” Heejin commented as Hyunjin slowly clapped beside her. The both of them standing up as they watched Rowoon walking down the aisle and standing up at the front. He fixed his tie and smiled at everyone as they waited patiently for the bride to arrive. 

**_//_ **

Sooyoung anxiously stepped out of the car. Her hands were held by two men in suits as they helped her step down from the limo, which was technically in truck form. It was ridiculous, her eyes glanced to the right where she saw the horses standing outside of the venue. Ready to take her off onto a ride with her husband after the ceremony. 

She couldn’t lie, she had thoughts on leaving again on the way here. Her long hair down her back as she wore a 40k sparkling diamond tiara on her head and the white dress that reminded her of Victorian times, with a little dash of modern styling to it. Her back on display from the hole in the back, showcasing her tanned skin.  
She could hear the instruments being played as she walked up the stairs of the venue, her heart thumping out of her chest the closer she got to the doors. There was a small area just before the main doors where she spotted two little girls smiling and going inside. They began throwing flower petals onto the ground as they walked forward. The crowd standing as that gave them the go. 

The bride was making her way inside.

Her father was waiting for her with a bright smile on his face. “My beautiful angel…” He said, nearly getting choked up at the sight of her. She gave a half assed smile at his excitement. She really didn’t care too much, but she had to pretend to. She’s made it too far to fuck up now.

Rowoon smiled to himself as he stood in place, watching the doors nervously, waiting for his bride to appear from the other side. 

The doors were opened by two men with white gloves on, standing tall like statues as she made her way inside. 

This was it, this was the moment. 

And truthfully, she felt sick to her stomach. The first few rows of people were full of guests she’d never seen in her life. As she got nearer to the front, she started recognizing people. 

Jiwoo from the party. Jennie from the wedding rehearsals. Lucas standing beside a slightly shorter boy with dark hair and beady eyes. She swallowed hard as she looked away from him. She couldn’t really look at him now, especially since he knew about Jinsoul and her. It didn’t feel right looking at the man she basically helped Jinsoul cheat on. 

She tried to smile as hard as she could, her body trying to remain calm as she was watched by the guests and heard small compliments. Calling her beautiful and saying she looked like a princess or an angel. One person called her a model. Her eyes found Jungeun, who gave a small reassuring smile, but her heart dropped even further when she realized Jungeun wasn’t there with Jinsoul. 

Her eyes quickly traveled around even more, noticing even Jinsoul’s parents were there. But no Jinsoul… 

She spotted Heejin who was smiling brightly alongside Hyunjin. Heejin gave her a thumbs up, and Hyunjin clapped for her while the twins waved excitedly.

Minho caught her attention, his eyes telling her to remain calm, giving a bright smile as his girlfriend stood beside him. 

“She looks beautiful.” Minho said, his eyes watering.

“Are you crying?!” Yeojin loudly said, and Minho quickly shushed her as he wiped at his eyes.

“No. Shut up. Shut up.” He said continuously, trying to get the younger girl to be quiet and stop her teasing giggles. 

She was basically at the front now, where Rowoon smiled and reached out for her. The men behind her slowly let the end of the dress catch up to her, making sure she didn’t trip over it, or that it didn’t get caught onto anything. 

Rowoon couldn’t believe his eyes. Sooyoung looked stunning. He didn’t think she could get even more beautiful than she already was but… somehow she could. He felt his eyes slightly watering at the sight of her, and he took a deep breath. Her eyes anxiously looked at him, and from the corner of her eye she could see his evil mother smiling brightly at the both of them. She knew it was all for show. Either that, or she was just happy to see her son.

The guests slowly sat down, and the service proceeded. 

“She’s beautiful…” Doyeon whispered to Jungeun.

“And taken.” She warned, earning a side eye from Doyeon. “It’s been a while since I've been to one of these things.. how long is this part?”

“Not long.. shhh.” Doyeon shushed her, slightly placing her hand on her thigh. Jungeun smiled a little before turning her head back to the front.

A man wearing all white stood between the two, a bible in his hand as he looked at the both of them. Once everyone was seated, he began. Clearing his throat and smiling brightly at the couple. “Friends and family… we are gathered here today—“

* * *

“Shit…” Jinsoul said, stepping out of the car she was driven in. She definitely still wasn’t 100% sober, but this would just have to do. She downed the rest of the water and quickly walked to the front of the venue. Taking in the tinted windows so outsiders couldn’t look in.

There were cameras perched up outside snapping photos of her as she went in. She quietly opened the door, looking around to see a familiar person. She spotted Minho, but he was with his family, Lucas was sitting on the far end of the seat with Mark beside him. There was definitely no space for her. 

Jungeun was sitting beside a much taller woman. She just had to sit beside someone she didn’t know. There weren't many available spots. She quietly watched the woman of her dreams holding hands with Rowoon. She looked stunning though. Her mouth went dry at the sight of Sooyoung looking so expensive and beautiful up there. All dolled up for some man.. she wished it was her smiling at Sooyoung. She wished it was their wedding, guests applauding and watching the two of them giving loving stares and shy giggles. 

But that wasn’t the reality of it. That beautiful woman was getting married to a beautiful man, the way it was intended to be. She also highly doubts her parents would even attend her wedding had it been her getting married to the beautiful woman that stole the attention of anyone when she stepped into the room. Sooyoung was perfect, but she looked especially perfect now. Smiling and wearing that expensive diamond tiara on her head. Her silky hair on display as she put up a front for the man in front of her and these 100’s of people.

Lucas slowly turned around, spotting Jinsoul who looked lost as she watched the two at the front exchanging their vows. “Jinsoul’s here…” Mark whispered, spotting her moments after Lucas did.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah.. she is.” 

Rowoon smiled as he held Sooyoung’s hands in his. Looking down at her and feeling his heart race at her beauty. “I promise to be your honest, faithful, loving and caring husband. I promise to protect you, you and your heart; to have and to hold, for better or for worse.” 

Jinsoul felt her heart tighten at the small smile on Sooyoung’s face. She prayed it was just her acting for this crowd of people. “Don’t be stupid Jinsoul..” She muttered to herself.

Of course she was pretending. Sooyoung was hers.

_Right?_

“Sooyoung.. you’re my best friend, my safe haven. Marrying you is truly my every desire fulfilled to the max… I love you with a love that can’t be expressed with just simple words - but with kisses, in glances, and in the years of our lives that _we’ll_ spend together.” He said as he looked at her, kissing her hand softly.

Sooyoung smiled softly, despite her growing hatred for not just Rowoon but his mother, she felt something in that moment. It wasn’t really love.. but she felt a sense of peace. She couldn’t quite figure out why, but it was probably because Jinsoul was in her vicinity now.. but of course she was unaware of that. It wasn’t until this very moment she realized she hadn’t written any deep and meaningful vows like he had done. 

She swallowed hard, still forcing a smile onto her face as she began to speak. “Rowoon— I promise to cherish each day more than the day before and to face any obstacles we come across knowing that we’ll face them together… as a team. Our lives will be easier for every moment we experience together.” She softly spoke, avoiding eye contact as she said it. She could tell Rowoon was searching for her brown eyes though. 

She anxiously looked to the crowd for a moment, quickly turning back and looking at the large hands that held hers. She imagined it was Jinsoul here in front of her, smiling softly at her as she nervously spoke. She’d probably make some slick remark about how Sooyoung was a poet.

And just that small thought of Jinsoul gave her the courage to keep going and get this bullshit over with. She didn’t expect to be with Rowoon forever, but she had to play the part. She had to meet him halfway at some point. There was no point in letting herself be terribly miserable for the rest of her days with this man. 

She continued on, her hands getting clammy the longer she stood there at the altar. “I’m making a vow to you today.. not to be perfect or to expect any form of perfection from you, but for us to always grow from every experience. I vow to treat everyday with excitement, to never give up on you, and to be your loving wife.” 

A tear escaped Jinsoul’s eye now, and she quickly got up. Rushing to leave so she didn’t have to hear much more of this. Or see these blatant lies being told. Had she lost Sooyoung forever after last night? She was getting into her own head… too much alcohol… 

Lucas’ head turned back as he noticed Jinsoul standing up to make a dash for the doors. But things took a turn for the worst when Sooyoung noticed too. Her eyes trained on the double doors that Jinsoul had walked through. She didn’t even know Jinsoul was there, she hadn’t spotted her when she was walking down the aisle. It made her anxious and her heart hurt at the sight of her not being there, but she understood. But to see her there, in that moment. It was like time stopped.

“Sooyoung?” Rowoon called out, realizing she wasn’t paying attention to their officiant who was trying to move onto the next part of the ceremony. She quickly let go of Rowoon’s hands and picked up her dress. She quickly began to move down the aisle, running after Jinsoul as fast as she could in those stupid heels she was forced to wear. 

Rowoon seemed confused, sharing struck glances between his mother and father. Sooyoung made it to the double doors, ignoring the stares and confused muttering around the venue. 

“What’s going on?” Hyunjin questioned, holding one of the kids in her arms as he sat on her lap. Heejin looked around as well, just as confused as she was.

“I have no idea…” She responded truthfully. 

Rowoon quickly moved to follow his literal soon to be wife, but he was stopped when both Lucas and Minho stepped in front of him, practically barricading him from going any further up the aisle. 

He swallowed, looking at the both of them as they stared back at him. Lucas kept his hands in his pockets while Minho slowly lowered his hand that was in front of Rowoon down. 

**_//_ **

“Jinsoul!” Sooyoung called out before she could get away completely, stopping her just before she stepped out of the venue completely. “Where are you going?” 

She laughed bitterly. “I can’t sit here and pretend I want to see and hear you utter that complete bullshit to him.” She snapped.

“Jinsoul— what else am I supposed to do?”

“You could run away with me!” She shouted. “You’d rather stay here and live a complete lie than be happy with me?” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sooyoung questioned angrily. “You think life is that easy? Fucking rainbows and sunshine? News flash, we won’t ever be able to get married without being fucking spat at. Do you realize that?”

“Why does that fucking matter?” 

“Because I don’t want to live my life in fear because of the person I love!” She shouted, stunning Jinsoul into silence. “Living a lie, is a hell of a lot less scarier than living in fucking fear.” 

Jinsoul didn’t understand why that hurt to hear so much. She really was caught up in some fantasy, but hearing Sooyoung practically lay it out for her shattered all of the thoughts she had. About how she wanted to just move away with Sooyoung and they could have a life together. But Sooyoung was right, things weren’t that easy. 

Her eyes watered as she looked at the taller woman who was much taller with the heels she wore that day. She was stunning, and her bottom lip quivered as she tried to keep herself from crying and ruining her makeup. 

“Do you love me?” 

Sooyoung’s expression softened instantly at that question. It was obvious she had become a lot less tense at the question. Hearing Jinsoul’s soft voice and her soft eyes that stared into Sooyoung’s soul. 

“More than anything..” 

And within seconds she felt lips on hers. The kiss was slightly harsh, like Jinsoul was trying to convince herself that Sooyoung was real. That the angel in front of her was a real person and the world wasn’t playing some cruel joke on her. Because truthfully, for the first time in her life she’s felt _something_. Sure it was fucking overwhelming and it killed her inside when she saw Sooyoung with someone else.

It was still something. She felt love. She felt heartbreak, she felt anger. She wasn’t some robot anymore. Sooyoung helped her feel. For the first time in her life she could _feel_. 

Sooyoung didn’t even know what to do, but before she could even decide to move Jinsoul off of her, the double doors opened and there stood Rowoon. His eyes wide as he watched Sooyoung quickly move away from Jinsoul, her lipstick slightly smeared onto Jinsoul’s lips. 

“I-I should go..” Jinsoul quickly said, her heart nearly giving out on her in that moment. 

Heejin just stood in place with wide eyes. The scene in front of her was too much to take in. Not only was she right about Sooyoung, but the fucking princess of Korea was the one all over her friend. And also…. the man Sooyoung was supposed to be married to already had also witnessed it. 

He clenched his jaw tightly as he had to find the strength to not make a scene in that moment. “Get yourself fixed up, and let’s finish this fucking ceremony.” 

“Rowoon—“ She moved to grab him and he aggressively yanked his arm from Sooyoung’s grasp, in which Minho stepped up quickly in case things escalated. 

“Don’t touch me.” He said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll let them know you’re fine and we’ll be resuming the ring exchanges.” He said, rubbing at his jaw as he turned around, bumping into Minho purposely as he did so. 

Heejin turned to Sooyoung and walked over to her. “Sooyoung…” 

“Don’t—“

Lucas just stood there. There wasn’t much he could do at this point. Everything was just a bit of a mess now. He didn’t expect it all to blow up so soon. Hell, even he just found out about it all.

But Rowoon was filled with anger, and betrayal. There weren't enough words and emotions that could convey what he was feeling. But he threw on that charming smile the second he stepped through those doors, calming the crowd of people. “No worries, the bride got a little sick, but she’ll be back shortly for ring exchanges.” He said, walking to the front where his smile instantly dropped before turning back around. 

_**//** _

Heejin fixed Sooyoung’s makeup, trying her hardest not to speak on what she just saw. She could tell Sooyoung was upset, and if she pushed too far she’d get snapped on. So she kept her mouth shut, wiping the tears from her friend’s eyes. “Everything will be okay..” 

“I fucked up.” 

“What happened?” Heejin questioned.

“I just…. I fucked up bad. I’m so scared Heej…” 

“Hey….” Heejin quickly moved to comfort her. Pulling her into a tight hug. “Everything is going to be fine okay?” 

“It’s not.” 

“It _is_. I’ll make sure of it. I _promise_.”

Minho cleared his throat. “We should head back inside. They’re waiting for you.” He said, reaching a hand out to his sister. “You got this. Heejin is right. Everything will be okay.” He said, reassuring her once more as he held her hand tightly. She nodded, although she wasn’t completely convinced. 

_**//** _

They exchanged rings, Rowoon aggressively putting the 300,000 dollar diamond ring on her finger.  
“Sooyoung.. with this ring, I thee wed."

He was barely even looking at her anymore. The excitement in his eyes completely diminished in a matter of minutes. Sooyoung did the same, gently placing the ring on his finger. He held her hand, but it wasn’t the same. He could barely look at her without feeling sick to his stomach.

“Rowoon… with this ring, I thee wed.” She repeated, looking to her left at the man who waited for them to finish. 

“Kim Rowoon and Kim Sooyoung. I now pronounce you, Husband, and _Wife_.” He smiled. “You may now kiss the bride.” 

Rowoon instantly moved in for the kiss, aggressively pressing his lips against hers as if he was trying to completely diminish the fact Jinsoul’s lips touched hers. Sooyoung quietly muttered for him to stop as they listened to the applause around them. He backed away, grabbing her hand and moving to walk down the aisle. 

He once again put on his acting face. His eyes lit up again and so did his smile as flowers were tossed at the couple as they made their way up the aisle and through the doors. Lucas and Minho looked at each other as they quickly walked out behind the couple, their eyes hurting from the pictures being snapped and taken left and right. 

“A horse carriage? Really?” Minho groaned.

“Rich people.” Lucas replied. “Oh— Lucas by the way.” He introduced.

“I figured.” He replied. “Minho.” 

“A horse carriage is a bit bizarre isn’t it?” Jungeun pointed out once she got outside, watching as the couple sat inside of the carriage, waving at everyone around them. 

“I like it.” Doyeon responded and Jungeun scoffed as they stood side by side, waving at the couple as they moved to ride the trail. 

Sooyoung sat anxiously inside of the carriage away from Rowoon as he smiled until they were out of view. Riding the trail around the beautiful venue near the sparkly lake. The rest of the guests made their way to the dining hall part of the venue.

“I can explain…” Sooyoung started.

“We’ll talk about it later. I’m having a pretty decent day and I don’t need you to fuck it up like you always do.” He snapped, looking out the window of the carriage. The scenery was beautiful, he decided to look there instead of looking at the woman beside him. 

“This place is beautiful.” 

“Yeah it's why I rented it.” He replied shortly. “Hey can you cut this ride short? I kinda wanna get back to the venue so we can eat.” He told the driver who listened to him.

Sooyoung swallowed hard as the carriage made a small detour back to the venue. 

She was able to change out of her clothes and into a much more comfortable dress for the dinner. When she got back inside, food was being served as well as drinks. Rowoon was smiling and hugging family members.

“Nice little rom-com scene back there.” Jennie said beside her. “Really it was dope.” 

“I don’t wanna talk about it..” 

“I mean… kinda hard not to… did you really get sick?” She questioned. 

“Can you fuck off?” Sooyoung questioned. “I don’t really know you for you to be questioning me this much.” She said, grabbing the drink off of the tray that passed by her. Jennie just stood in place, taking a sip of her own drink as she watched Sooyoung walk off.

She sat at a table with Heejin and Hyunjin. “Oh… hi.” Heejin smiled brightly. “You changed into a different dress.” 

“I don’t blame her. That wedding dress— beautiful. But a bit too much for my personal taste.” 

“Mine too.” Sooyoung replied. “It was a pain in my ass to be fair.” 

“I bet.” Hyunjin agreed, quickly asking the man walking around for another drink. 

“Is everything alright now?” Heejin questioned and Sooyoung laughed.

“Yeah.. let’s have fun now.”

* * *

The rest of the night went relatively well. Rowoon was drunk out of his mind. Sort of making a fool of himself at some point. Sooyoung just smiled awkwardly as he stood at the front of the dining hall, standing on the stage where the live band was playing. “I would just like— to raise a glass, to my beautiful wife.” He said into the mic, the jazz music softly being played in the background. 

Heejin turned to her with a concerned face and Sooyoung shrugged. She didn’t know what he was getting up to at this point. He had completely taken off his suit jacket and undone his tie at this point. Slight sweat beads at the temples of his forehead. Everyone in the crowd turned to her, smiling and clapping. He held a glass filled with liquor in his hand, taking a sip before continuing to speak.

“To my _faithful_ wife Sooyoung… the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you would be a handful.” He laughed. “But you’re my handful.. and I promise from here on out, I’ll continue to be _honest_ and loyal, to you.” He smiled, winking at her. “To my wonderful marriage with Sooyoung.” He raised his glass, hearing cheers and downing it completely.

“What a dick..” Heejin muttered to herself. Sooyoung felt sick to her stomach as she saw that sinister smirk on his face as he hopped down from the stage. Interacting with family members as they danced to the band that quickly returned to their previous task. 

After Rowoon’s small speech however, that also brought forth more speeches. Including her parents and a few of Rowoon’s family members as well. Her father was awfully drunk, saying how much he loved her and how proud of her she was. And saying how she’d always be daddy’s little girl.

She cringed at that. She cringed even more at her mother’s speech. Saying she always cherished Sooyoung and loved her dearly.

“Would you still love me if you knew who I really was?” She thought to herself. But she knew the answer to that question. What mother would love to have their daughter being gay and ruining the marriage she was forced into? Hmm…. 

But she smiled and clapped and accepted the cheek kisses her parents gave her. She was definitely going to need another drink or two.

* * *

The night ended with Sooyoung having to be a crutch for Rowoon as they walked to their limo. Photos still being taken of the guests and of course of the newly wedded couple. “I love you. Make sure to let me know you got home safely.” Heejin said, hugging Sooyoung as she stepped inside.

“Love you little sis!” Minho shouted, waving as he held Yerim and Yeojin’s hand. They also waved at her.

Once they got home, Rowoon went up to their room. Sooyoung slowly followed behind him. He was quiet for the most part, and obviously very drunk. Taking off his shirt and throwing it somewhere in the room. She also moved to remove her clothing, putting on a baggy shirt and sitting down to remove her makeup. 

“Did Jinsoul force that kiss onto you?” He suddenly asked, turning to the woman who froze in her spot. She swallowed hard, continuing to grab a wipe to remove her makeup. 

“I’m not sure what you mean…..” She responded nervously.

“Like— did you want that kiss? Did you initiate that kiss? Or did she do it?” He questioned, turning back around and removing his pants.

“S-She did.” She stuttered, her fear of being outed creeping up on her and turning her into a coward.

“Any reason as to why she did that?” 

“She was drunk.” Sooyoung defended. “It meant nothing… just drop it.” 

“How can I drop the fact that I watched you kiss another woman on our wedding day?” 

“It wasn’t… like that. Okay?”

He sighed. “Is it something I should be worried about?” 

“What?”

“Do I need to intervene or can you handle it and put the bitch in her place yourself?” 

Sooyoung turned around and looked at him with disgust. “Did you have to call her that?” 

“Anyone who makes a move on my wife without her permission doesn’t deserve my respect anymore..” 

“I told you she didn’t mean it..” 

“And yet she still did it. On _my_ wedding day.” 

She could feel the anger inside of her boiling up. Calling Jinsoul out of her name struck something in her. “Don’t call her out of her name again. I mean it.” Sooyoung warned.

Rowoon stood up. “Okay. My question still stands. Are you going to handle it?” 

“I’ll try.” 

“Good. Because we’re moving next week. A fresh start, and maybe it’ll give you some time to clear your head.” 

Sooyoung instantly stood up, following Rowoon into the bathroom. Walking directly at his heels as he grabbed his toothbrush. His eyes were red and tired. Moving? She never agreed to this. “What? Moving? We didn’t even talk about this.” Sooyoung pointed out as Rowoon put toothpaste onto the toothbrush. 

“We don’t have to Sooyoung. I already said we’re moving after the wedding. It’s done. By next week everything here will be sold except our belongings and we’ll be moving to our new home.” He smiled, kissing her forehead. “Besides— my mom thinks it’s a good idea as well. A sign of independence.” 

“I don’t want to move. I-I have family here and friends.” 

“Friends?” 

She rolled her eyes at that. An obvious jab at her social life, which was taken away from her forcefully by the way. “Yes. My _friends_. I’m not moving Rowoon.” 

“I don’t think you have much of a choice anymore.” 

“Yeah I do. I can just simply stay here and not go.” 

“Good luck with that.” He laughed. “I also talked to your mom, she agreed. Thinks it's a great idea, she’s even getting your dad to help us move out.” 

Sooyoung swallowed hard. Feeling her heart beating so loud it was in her ears. “And what if I don’t go?” 

“Then you can just stay here and enjoy your life getting spat at for being a lesbian who left her rich husband.” He said.

“W-What?” Sooyoung said, feeling everything in her stomach slowly coming up as her face grew hot and bothered. Her heart nearly stopped working for a moment as she anxiously stood there. 

“Yeah. I know you have a thing with Jinsoul. Doesn’t take much to find these things out. Your dirty secrets will always come out.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t play dumb. The maid that you so desperately wanted back. Yeah, she spilled your shit to me. It’s crazy what money can buy. You flash money at someone who needs it face, they’ll do anything you ask.” 

“You’re a piece of shit.” Sooyoung said angrily.

“Now now…” He smiled, rinsing his mouth. “You can’t be angry at me. I’m not the cheater here. It’s you.” He laughed.

“What do you want from me?” 

“Well for starters, I want you to not ruin my reputation.” He said. “So yeah, you’re moving with me. Not only that, but in about a year, you’re going to have my children. More money comes out of it, and honestly, you’ll need it.” 

“I don’t need your money.” 

“But your family does.. don’t want to disappoint them _again_. Right?” He questioned. 

She didn’t even know what to say. She felt sick to her stomach. All of the odds were against her. She wasn’t going to win here. The entire situation was out of her control, and there wasn’t anything she could do. She also didn’t deny much, but she was sure Rowoon knew enough to hold it over her head. 

In the end, it felt like she couldn’t trust anyone. Every emotion she could possibly think of, she was feeling it right now. But in the end, she was just angry at herself. She’d always be angry at herself. “Besides, the fact that you’re a cheating liar, I still love you. So yeah— I can move past this, but you need to comply with me.” He said, running his finger along her cheek. She moved away from his touch, looking at him with disgust.

She couldn’t believe this nightmare she was constantly stuck in. She wondered if things would ever be easier. But it wouldn’t be. It never would be, and she was honestly at a point where she believed she deserved the shit that happened to her. She deserved what life threw at her. It was unfair, but it was life, and she was never meant to have a happy ending. 

“I-I’ll do it.” She said, her eyes watering at the mere thought of being apart from not only her friends and family, but Jinsoul.

Especially Jinsoul.

* * *

She lay on the couch of her home, looking up at the ceiling. It’d been 4 days since the wedding, and 4 long days since she last spoke to Sooyoung. Who hadn’t even bothered to reach out to her or reply to her calls and texts. She barely ate, she could hardly sleep. She just lay there feeling nothing. Unaware that things were about to get much harder.

“You can’t keep doing this…” Lucas said, sitting on the coffee table and looking at the heartbroken woman. “It’s not good for you. This isn’t who you are.” 

It was silent for a while, and Lucas was about to just give up for the day. Jinsoul was stubborn and she’d been ignoring his efforts to help her the past few days. 

“I didn’t think so either.” She suddenly said. “Until I—“ She stopped, feeling her eyes well up with tears again.

“Jinsoul.. it’s just marriage.. and not even official technically. It’s clear who Sooyoung loves.. and that’s you… what’s the problem?” 

“She’s moving away.” 

“What?”

“She said.. Rowoon wants to move after they get married. I don’t know when but… after what happened, i’m sure it’s going to be soon.” 

Lucas sighed. “I doubt that. That was a misunderstanding, you were drunk like you said.” 

“Doesn’t excuse the fact I was tonguing down his bride.” She replied. She felt awfully sick that morning as well, but she ignored it, drinking the water Lucas gave her. “The look on his face…. I’ve never seen betrayal in the flesh… that broke him.” 

“Tell me about it.” Lucas muttered, seeing the glare Jinsoul threw at him. 

“ _Seriously_?” 

“Sorry!” He apologized. “The wound is still fresh though.” 

Jinsoul shook her head, covering her face with her arms. Sighing deeply as she lay in deep thought once again. “I just… I don’t know what to do.” 

“Just…. wait it out for now. I’m sure things will start to fall into place.” He assured her. “But for now… never thought I’d say this but…. you seriously need a shower.”

* * *

The days went by awfully long. Sooyoung found herself sitting outside more often these days. Mainly because she couldn’t stand being inside of the house. 

She requested a new maid which Rowoon granted her, for the new home anyway. But for now, Yongsun still worked for them. Sooyoung successfully avoided her. She didn’t even want to see her face. It made her sick to her stomach how easily she was turned on by the woman. Someone she thought she could trust in this fucked up home. 

But after a while, sitting poolside and watering flowers was getting boring for her. She also noticed all that ran through her mind was Jinsoul. Despite ignoring her calls and such, she missed her. And she knew that if she talked to her right now, it’d make saying goodbye much harder. She was moving in 2 days. 

She had nearly a week to figure out what to say and she still had no words to properly say goodbye to the woman of her dreams. It was grueling, and painful, and she wanted nothing more than to just lay in Jinsoul’s arms and let the painful moments go by while they slept peacefully. 

But that wasn’t how things worked in the real world. She stood on the bridge, looking down at the frogs on the lilly pads as Minho slowly walked up to her. Wearing a long sleeve and some jeans. He stood beside her, overlooking the beautiful water too. 

“We came here for a walk once.” Sooyoung suddenly said, getting Minho’s attention. “Jinsoul and I..” 

“Ah…” He said, finally understanding what she was getting at.

“It’s peaceful isn’t it? The weather is getting a bit cooler these days so eventually people won’t come here for walks.” She said. “Jinsoul would’ve loved that.” 

“You’re talking about her like she’s dead. Chill out.” Minho said, earning a smile out of Sooyoung.

“I’m moving far away Minho…” 

“I know.” He sadly said. He hated that most of this was out of his control. He didn’t want Sooyoung to leave, he even offered to come as well and find an apartment there somewhere. He didn’t like the idea of her being so far away from him and his protection. He didn’t trust Rowoon as much as he’d like to. He was also unaware of the shit he pulled on Sooyoung.

She knew he would start a ruckus like the loving big brother he was. But she couldn’t afford to cause anymore damage. She couldn’t afford to make things worse for herself. She was so exhausted. 

“I didn’t think this would be my life when I was a kid.. I thought I’d be working some stupid 9-5 with a puppy I could come home to.” She laughed. “But nah— instead i’m living someone else’s fantasy.” 

Minho sighed. “All because of some fucking money.” She cursed angrily, and Minho shook his head. Not even the amount he made could get Sooyoung out of this situation. He hated how greedy their parents were, he wished there was another way for this all. But there was nothing.

“All because of some fucking money.” He repeated. 

“I love her Minho.” 

“I know.” 

“And now I won’t even be able to fucking see her…” 

“I know.” 

“What do I do?” She questioned, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t have an answer for his little sister.

“I don’t know…” He replied truthfully. 

She felt her eyes watering. All she’s felt outside of Jinsoul was constant pain. But through all of that pain, she found a pain reliever, and now even that was being taken away from her. She always thought of an alternative to this all, but she couldn’t do that. Not to her siblings, and especially not to her friends. 

But she was tired, and she didn’t want to give herself away to Rowoon. She didn’t love him, especially now. Before, she felt something for him, even if it wasn’t romantic. But now she felt sick to her stomach even seeing his stupid face. She didn’t think he had it in him, but the boy was just as sinister as his mother. 

It’s true, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

She wondered if science could explain the actual heart ache she felt in her chest because all she wanted to do was be with Jinsoul. To be in her arms. To kiss her and wake up to her. To hear her voice whenever she wanted because she lived in the same house as her. Slept in the same bed as her. Showered with her and ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with her. She just wanted Jinsoul, and it physically killed her inside to not have her. 

“I need to see her.. before I go.” Sooyoung announced and Minho slowly turned to her, seeing his sister slowly breaking the longer they stood there. So he pulled her in for a hug, held her tightly and softly kissed her forehead, and told her the words she desperately needed to hear.

“I love you. Everything is going to be _okay_.”

* * *

Jinsoul sat in the car the next day, waiting anxiously for Jungeun to return when she got a text from Sooyoung. Telling her as usual, to meet her at their spot. She replied quickly, asking for a time, and just as she hit send Jungeun returned. Quickly getting inside the car, out of breath.

“Okay— I have seriously never hated your status more than I do at this very moment.” She complained, slamming the door shut. 

“Relax, don’t be such a drama queen. It’s not that bad.” 

“Yeah? Then you go in there, buy not _one_ , but 4 boxes of these stupid fucking sticks that you piss on. And then come back to me.” She said, obviously annoyed by what Jinsoul said. 

“Thanks Jungeun.” She smiled teasingly. “We should head back, Sooyoung is coming over later.” 

“Does that mean I have to leaveeeee?” She whined.

“No, not necessarily… we’re probably just going to talk..” 

“Good. Because I honestly don’t feel like driving home tonight. Plus— Doyeon is driving me crazyyyyyy.” 

“What’d she do?” 

“Nothing. She’s just super clingy..” 

“So she’s basically you?” 

“What?!” Jungeun questioned, obviously offended by the accusation. “I am _not_ clingy.” She defended, and Jinsoul just laughed in response.

“Whatever. Let’s just get back home.”

_**//** _

“You promise you’re okay?” 

“Yeah.” Sooyoung responded. “Don’t worry. I love you Heejin. Kiss the boys on the forehead for me alright?” She smiled, hugging the shorter girl tightly.

“Will do!” She said cheerily. “Make sure you come by before you go alright? I need to hug you again, no funny stuff okay?” 

“I’m going to see Jinsoul now..” She smiled sadly. “I have to say goodbye.”

“I’m still amazed that the woman you have all over you is the princess of Korea…” She said, obviously starstruck. Sooyoung rolled her eyes, snapping in front of her face to get her out of her daze.

“Cut it out.” She scolded playfully. “I’ll stop by before I leave on moving day.” 

“Fine. I love you Sooyoung.”

“I love you more.” She smiled, turning away and slowly feeling Heejin release her grip on her hand. 

She sat in her car, taking deep breaths as she worked up the confidence to go and see Jinsoul and break the news to her. Tonight was going to be hard. But leaving her would be the hardest thing she’d ever done.

**_//_ **

“Oh! You’re here!” Jungeun said excitedly. “Um— Jinsoul is showering right now but she’ll be out soon.” 

“Okay..” Sooyoung said, slowly stepping inside. 

“I’m ordering food. I was just waiting for Jinsoul first so she could tell me what she wanted.” 

Sooyoung nodded. “Did she just go in there?” 

“Uhh no. She should be out soon actually. Do you want me to order you anything?” 

“Uh no.. I won’t be here long. Also not very hungry.” She smiled, taking a seat on the sofa. Jungeun just shrugged, but she could tell something was slightly off. Sooyoung’s energy wasn’t the greatest. She didn’t plan on saying anything either but she couldn’t help it. Especially with Jinsoul in such a fragile state, she knows the power Sooyoung has over her. And one fucked up thing tonight would break her.

“Look… I know we’re not like friends and all of that. Merely acquaintances, but I’ve heard enough about you to know that you’re a lovely person. But I won’t hesitate to kick your ass if you end up hurting her more than she already is. Alright?” She threatened, standing in front of the taller girl who sat nervously on the sofa. 

Sooyoung had no intentions of hurting Jinsoul. Not purposely anyway. She also wasn’t too afraid of the short girl in front of her. But she respected the sentiment. “She’s already dealing with her own shit.” 

“I understand.” 

“I’m serious.. I don’t care how sexy you are. I won’t hesitate to mess up that pretty face.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

**_//_ **

Jinsoul looked at the 3rd pregnancy test she took that day, feeling like she was going to break down every time she had to take it. Tossing the stick into the trash whenever she saw the results. She shook her head and threw water onto her face. Not wanting the exhaustion to show too much. 

She stepped out of the bathroom, walking to the living room and seeing Jungeun innocently smiling at her. But when she moved to the side, she saw Sooyoung sitting on the sofa and a smile instantly traveled to her face. Despite not speaking the past few days, her heart still felt overwhelmed at the sight of her. 

“Sooyoung…” She softly said, and Jungeun clapped her hands.

“Glad you’re out here now because I need to know what you want before this place closes..” 

“Is it the korean BBQ restaurant?” She questioned, slowly walking over to Sooyoung. 

“Yah.” 

“Then the usual.” Jinsoul said, her eyes still trained on Sooyoung. 

“Okay. Yeah. Very helpful.” Jungeun sarcastically said, picking up her phone. “I’m going to order now and I’ll be back here with food.” 

“Yeah.. you do that..” Jinsoul spoke, completely in a trance as Jungeun rolled her eyes at the sight of her lovesick friend. It was cute, kind of. But it still made her gag. The second Jungeun stepped out, Jinsoul was on top of Sooyoung. Kissing her softly and pressing her body against hers. Not even sexually, she just _missed_ her.

“I missed you so much…” She admitted and Sooyoung softly smiled as she let her hands rest on Jinsoul’s lower back. 

“I missed you too.” She smiled. “I um— I have to talk to you..” 

Jinsoul didn’t like the sound of that. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s uh…. Rowoon found out… about us..” 

“What?” Jinsoul questioned, immediately getting off of Sooyoung and sitting beside her. “What happened?”

“Maid snitched… either way, that’s not the problem…” 

Jinsoul placed a hand on Sooyoung’s thigh and watched her carefully. She’s known Sooyoung enough to know when something was off. And right now, this situation didn’t feel too good. “I’m moving tomorrow morning…” 

“What?????” She questioned, her heart sinking so far down she didn’t know if it would find its way back to its designated spot. “And you’re just now telling me?!” 

“I didn’t have the heart…. “ She confessed. “I didn’t want to believe it was actually going to happen… but he’s serious.” 

“Then stay. You can have this place to yourself… just don’t go— Sooyoung please…” 

She shook her head. Her heart breaking at Jinsoul’s desperate pleads. “I don’t have much of a choice Jinsoul..” 

“Y-You do… just tell him no. He can’t stop you.” 

“He can!” She shouted. “Don’t you understand? Everything I fucking worked for to get to this point relies on it. I’ve been through too much shit to mess up now… I’m sorry… I just can’t.” 

“So what now? What does that mean for us? We’re just…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence without getting choked up. “ _Done_?” 

“Jinsoul…” 

“Please don’t tell me—“ She begged, standing up and pacing around.

“We’re not…. Jinsoul I just don’t know what’s going to happen from here on out..” 

“I’ll visit you.” 

“You can’t…” 

“I can.” 

“No…. you can’t. It’s complicated. But for now, we can’t— we have to…. I’m sorry.” 

Jinsoul shook her head. “No.” 

She was sure what she felt before was heartbreak but this… this was unbearable pain. She couldn’t describe how much it hurt hearing these words. Seeing Sooyoung so broken in front of her as she had to relay this information to her. It hurt her just as much as it hurt Jinsoul. But it was out of her control for now. She was sure she’d eventually find a way out of it, but for now, she didn’t know what was going to happen. She had to comply with Rowoon or he would ruin her life… she didn’t have much else to give or offer anymore. 

“Jinsoul..” She stood up, walking over to the woman who had tears falling from her eyes. 

“I knew this would happen… why did I— god I’m so _stupid…._.”

“Why did you what?” 

“Fall in love with you!” She shouted. It hurt so bad. Everything hurt so bad. She knew this would happen. She knew this wouldn’t go her way, there would be no happy endings. And she hated Sooyoung in that moment for being so right. This isn't a fairytale. This was reality. This was the real world. And nothing goes how you want it to in the real world.

There’s constant ups and downs. Curves and bumps. She didn’t expect it to all be cut short so soon. Her head was aching from the crying she was doing and she felt terribly sick to her stomach. She believed it was because of the current situation they were in. She felt sick to her stomach at the fact that Sooyoung was leaving. Not only her but them as a whole. Leaving her friends and family. Leaving behind all of this and starting anew somewhere else. It made her feel dizzy, she had to lean against something so she wouldn’t lose her footing.

She’d much rather die than feel what she felt in that moment. And despite that pain she felt, she didn’t regret her love for Sooyoung. Not for a second. Because for once in her life she felt what it was like to be in love, and to love someone wholeheartedly. 

She just didn’t expect her unhappy ending to come so soon. The happy ending hadn’t even presented itself yet… her mind just kept going back to the conversation they had about it. Her only unhappy ending was losing Sooyoung completely. Not just her as her own, but completely out of her reach. It hurt more than anything. Not even her parents could break her down this way. 

“I need you to stay strong okay? Don’t give up on us.” 

“Are you saying that to make me feel better or because you mean it?”

Sooyoung didn't respond. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to, but she didn’t want to make any promises she couldn’t keep, because in the end, she’d hurt Jinsoul even more. And right now was already devastating enough. 

The girl broke down in her arms, begging Sooyoung to stay. “Please, please don’t go.. I’ll do anything— just… please.” 

“Jinsoul…” Sooyoung began to cry as well, feeling her clothes being tugged at whenever she tried to leave. She couldn’t stay here much longer. Not while they were like this. It’d just make everything harder. “Please stop…” 

“Sooyoung please… don’t go…” She cried harder, and Sooyoung could barely see from the amount of tears welling up in her eyes. It broke her to see Jinsoul this way. Especially because she was the cause of it. It was unfair how the universe worked. 

Why couldn’t it have been easier? Why couldn’t it be Jinsoul that she moved away with and settled down with? Why? Why couldn’t she just be in love with no worries or fears? She so desperately wanted that. 

“I’m so sorry.” She helped Jinsoul up, kissing her as she held her close. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you.” 

“Sooyoung please!” She cried harder once she pulled away, holding her hand tightly as the taller girl tried so hard to walk away. She kissed Jinsoul’s hand softly before letting go. 

“I’m sorry. I love you. I love you.” She said, closing the door and hearing Jinsoul’s cries from the other side. Just as she left, Jungeun returned. 

“Damn she wasn’t kidding when she said she wouldn’t be here long.” She pointed out, parking and grabbing the food and walking up to the door. She had a smile on her face the entire time, whistling to herself as she opened the door. 

But the sound of Jinsoul’s cries made her instantly put the food down and run over to her.

“Jinsoul?!” She called out, holding her friend in her arms as she sat on the floor and cried in her arms. “What the hell happened?”

* * *

Jungeun stayed by Jinsoul’s side that night. Her cries hadn’t stopped until about 5am. She was drained, and she managed to get them both in bed so they could get some rest. 

But she couldn’t sleep. She was angry, and upset. She’d never seen Jinsoul that way before. It was shocking and honestly very off putting. She held her all night, soothingly patting her head until she fell asleep. She finally let a few tears fall from her own eyes once she was sure Jinsoul had fallen asleep.

She drove the girl home that morning after she had thrown up a few times. The bags under her eyes were unpleasant and she threw on a hoodie with some sweats. She couldn’t be bothered to get dressed. When they arrived at her place, Lucas opened the door with a smile on his face. But it instantly faded when he noticed the state of Jinsoul. 

He didn’t ask any questions just yet. He was confused, he’d never seen Jinsoul this way. He gave Jungeun a look, and she gave him one back. Basically saying she’d tell him later. For now, they focused on Jinsoul. Lucas requested his chefs to make breakfast, and while they did that he made Jinsoul some coffee to help wake her up a bit. 

But to be fair, she felt empty, and she just wanted it to stop. But she knew it wouldn’t stop for a long time. Because the only person who could heal her was Sooyoung. 

**_//_ **

“Sooyoung?” The woman questioned as she opened the door, the twins running right beside her. “Isn’t it moving day?” 

“I wanted to see you all before I left.” She smiled gently. Heejin could tell she was off though. The smile seemed almost forced, and her eyes seemed tired. 

“Well Hyunjin is at work, it’s just us 3 and the dog.” She moved aside, letting Sooyoung in. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Ah no no. I just wanted to come and say bye. I gotta get going anyway, Rowoon hates when I make him wait.” She laughed bitterly.

“Right…” Heejin replied.

“Mommy said you’re going far far farrrrrr away.” The boy pointed out, his twin nodding along to everything he said.

“I am.” She sadly said. “But I'll be back soon, okay? With gifts.” She said cutely, tickling the both of them and smiling as they giggled. 

“You two go and play, alright?” Heejin said with a smile. “After I’m done talking we’ll get ice cream.” 

“Ice cream!!!” They both shouted in unison, running to the backyard through the kitchen.

Heejin smiled before turning back to Sooyoung. “You sure you’re okay?” 

“Heejin— I’m fine. I just wanted to come and say goodbye to my favorite person.” She smiled, pinching her cheeks playfully. 

“Alright… well— you know I’m here if you need something right? Absolutely _anything_...” She told her truthfully. Heejin was always ready to lend Sooyoung a helping hand. She loved her, and she was one of her dearest friends.

“I know. But I’m fine, seriously. You’re too young to stress this much.” Sooyoung teased.

“I could say the same for you.” She laughed. “Keep in touch alright?” 

“Always.” She smiled, holding Heejin so tight the shorter girl was afraid she’d stop her from breathing. But she hugged her back, resting her head against her shoulder. “Love you Heej.”

“I love you too.. call me if you need anything. I promise I’m here for you.” 

“Got it. Take care.” She smiled, walking to her car. She sat there for a moment before putting on her seatbelt. She looked into the backseat and looked at both of her suitcases before letting out a deep breath.

“All or nothing.” She said to herself, putting in the airport directions on her built in gps. 

If she was going to go through with this, she had to do it now.

* * *

Jinsoul threw up again just before breakfast was served. She sat on the floor of the bathroom as she wiped at her mouth with tissue. She couldn’t go on feeling like this. She felt awful. There was too much going on for her, and not just the pain in her heart. But the unsettling feeling in her stomach.

She grabbed the pregnancy test once more and did what she had to do. She let it sit for a while as she anxiously walked back and forth in the bathroom. Throwing water on her face and brushing her teeth. After the designated time was up, she checked it. Looking away for a moment before placing her eyes on the result again. She wanted nothing more than for it to be different this time. But it wasn’t, and she felt like she could cry. But she was exhausted, and she was afraid she cried out all of the tears she physically could.

“Fuck..” She said.

_**//** _

“Hey you alright in there?” Lucas knocked onto the door. Jinsoul had been in there for about 30 minutes now. He wanted to make sure she was okay. 

She opened the door and darted past him. “Hey wait up—“ 

“I don’t have time. I have to see her before she goes.” 

“Sooyoung?” 

“Yeah. I’ll be back okay? Eat breakfast, don’t wait up for me.” 

“I’m coming.” Jungeun said, and she knew there was no point in fighting her. 

Lucas wanted to tag along too, but he didn’t have the proper attire on. So he quickly ran upstairs to change into something else. He walked out of their bedroom and ran to turn the hallway bathroom light off, but something caught his eye. 

It was sitting on the sink, almost falling off it. Probably from when Jinsoul rushed out of the bathroom. He picked it up and felt his heart drop. “Holy shit—“ He said, quickly dropping it and running down the steps.

He couldn’t believe Jinsoul hadn’t told him. 

By the time he arrived, Jinsoul was already talking to Rowoon who just stepped outside. 

“Can I help you?” He questioned, looking her up and down. 

“Where’s Sooyoung?” 

“She went to see a friend.” 

“A friend? Who?” 

“Heejin probably. She doesn’t have many other friends to see… so.” 

“And she hasn’t come back yet?” 

“Uhh no.” 

“When did she leave?” Lucas questioned again.

“About 3 hours ago.” 

“3?” Jungeun questioned.

“And she isn’t back yet?” Jinsoul questioned.

Rowoon laughed. “Look— I don’t need you all asking me fucking questions left and right like you’re the fucking police alright? She’ll get here when she gets here. I don’t need to answer any of you.” He walked down the stairs, making his way to the moving truck when he felt a hand on him.

“I need to speak to her.” 

“As if I’ll let this happen.” He laughed in her face. “I can’t help you with that. I don’t know where she is alright? So can you all get off of my property?” 

“This isn’t your property anymore. You’re moving.” Jungeun pointed out.

“Alright smart ass..” He replied. “Either you all leave or I’ll have you escorted off.” He said.

“Come on man…” Lucas stepped up, and Rowoon turned to him. The both of them scarily tall, but Rowoon was still much larger than he was.

“Look— I can’t help you. Even if I wanted to. She’ll show up when she shows up. You’re more than welcome to sit around and wait for her.”

“We’ll gladly do that. Come on.” Jungeun said, grabbing Jinsoul and walking into the house. They sat on the stairs and waited for what seemed like hours. Lucas just watched Jinsoul without a word. He wanted to bring up what he found, but he doubts the conversation would end well. Especially with Jinsoul being this on edge, waiting for Sooyoung. That was, if she ever came.

“Is he sure she went to a friends house….?” Lucas questioned anxiously.

* * *

Sooyoung stood in line as her boarding pass was being scanned. “Have a great flight.” The woman said to her, smiling as Sooyoung walked through the tunnel and onto the plane. She was thankfully one of the first few on after they allowed the older people and such to get on. She placed both of her suitcases onto the overhead and then sat by the window. Looking out at the gloomy sky. 

It was funny how the weather always matched her mood.

She figured this was the only way out. Her only way out. Just for now.. she didn’t know when things would be okay again. But for now she needed to get away, she didn’t really care too much about the consequences of her actions. But god she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t go and be with someone she didn’t want to be. But she also couldn’t be with Jinsoul either, not yet anyway. 

So for now; she needed to leave. So that’s what she did. She bought the ticket last night while Rowoon slept. The decision weighed heavily on her. She was afraid and yet so sure. 

It wasn’t until she was driving to the airport that she started having doubts. But she pushed them to the back of her mind, convincing herself that she needed this. And that she would be okay.

She was lost in her own thoughts as the plane slowly filled up the longer they sat there. 

Despite the ache she felt in her heart and soul, she kept the tears from falling. But all that ran through her mind was Jinsoul. Her safe haven, her love, her _everything_. 

She was leaving her behind and she didn’t know when she’d see her again, and that broke her. To Sooyoung, Jinsoul was like her home. 

Her home was another person, and she was leaving the only place she found comfort in. What was she to do now? 

Sooyoung had never loved anyone the way that she loved and still loves Jinsoul. Deep down, she hoped she would wait for her. When she comes back to her in a year or two, she hopes they can rekindle what they had. She still hoped that somehow in this fucked up life of hers, they ended up together in the end. She really did hope. She felt it in her soul, that Jinsoul was meant to be hers. And when the time was right, she’d have her to herself. 

She remembered how she slowly fell in love with Jinsoul. It was the smallest things at first that made her heart pound. Like the way her nose would scrunch up when she laughed, and then it was everything else. She didn’t realize how deep in love she was with Jinsoul until it was far too late. The situation had gotten complicated but she still wanted Jinsoul. She couldn’t resist her, couldn’t deny her. She was all she wanted in the end. But the connection they had couldn’t be severed. Those things don’t just go away. 

She already missed her smile, her last memory of Jinsoul was her being a crying mess. Falling to the floor and pleading for Sooyoung not to leave her. To just stay so they could figure it all out together. Oh, she wished it was that easy, because she would do it in a heartbeat. She’d do anything for Jinsoul in a heartbeat.

Because for ages Sooyoung had felt like a lifeless person. Dead inside from the moment she stepped out of the comfort of her own home at the age of 6. But when she saw Jinsoul’s smile, felt her presence, something inside of her cracked wide open, and she felt alive again. 

Jinsoul was her moon when she was alone and lost in the darkness and she was the warmth when she shivered from the cold air around her. Every kiss she gave her still sent chills down her spine and made her heart forget how to beat properly. She was full of kindness that the world didn’t deserve. 

She loved her more than anything, she wasn’t just her love, she was _everything_ and more. 

And for the rest of her time without Jinsoul, she would dream of her. Because it’s about her, it was always about Jinsoul. 

She didn’t know what would happen now. But deep down she knew it was for the best. Because when you care about somebody, when you love them, you do what’s best for them, even when it fucking hurts you. 

Because god this _hurts_. 

The world was so fucked up. Love isn’t how they show it in the movies. It hurts, it’s exhausting, and draining. But god, she wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Because the love Jinsoul showed her, she doesn’t think she’ll ever find that again.

It’s nice to be in love. But it comes with a price. Pain and sacrifice. 

“Is anyone sitting here?” She heard a girl ask, her voice was quite low, and she seemed in a good mood despite the horrible weather.

“Uhh no actually. There’s someone sitting on the end seat though.” Sooyoung replied with a gentle smile.

“Perfect.” She said, moving to the middle seat after she placed her bags on the overhead. “Nayeon.” She introduced herself.

“Sooyoung.” 

“Nice to meet you Sooyoung… well, I’ll be minding my own from here on out.” She smiled, buckling up and putting her airpods in. “Unless you want to talk?” 

“I….” 

“Maybe later? This flight is pretty long, so!” 

Sooyoung nodded, trying her hardest to keep up with the chipper girl beside her. 

“Any reason why you’re heading to the states?” 

“Photography. I got an internship at a school in L.A.” She smiled. “And you?” 

“Just need a change of scenery.” 

Nayeon giggled. “Nothing wrong with that.. Korea can get a bit boring after a while.” 

“Tell me about it..” Sooyoung laughed, she didn’t speak for a moment, but she felt like speaking to someone. Just to get her mind off of things. “Have you been to the states before?” 

“Uh yeah! I have family there actually. This will be just my 3rd time going though so…” She smiled. “But I know enough.” 

Sooyoung smiled back. “Do you mind telling me about it?”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Okay, first off, I hope everyone is taking care of their health and staying safe during these times. Drink water, get rest, and eat well. Wear your masks and clean your hands! There’s still a pandemic happening people!!! 
> 
> But no seriously, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter because it just gets crazier from here on out LMAO. But hey, yvesoul endgame right? That’s all that matters, so stay strong. We’ll get there eventually. This is technically the 7th(?) chapter.. so yeah, we’ll see how things go from here on out. 
> 
> Please leave comments with your thoughts and such. I love reading them, they give so much motivation and I love to hear what you’re thinking and how you think the story is going to go. They make me smile, knowing you all like the story so much & want to talk about it hehe. Anyways, love you all, and take care. See you next time, please be patient with me >_< ❤️
> 
> ALSO PS: my twitter got restricted or something but its okay! I don’t care much because I never really used it so yeah. No worries. I’ll be here and if you want to talk I think you can inbox people on this? Not sure how it works 😊, but anyways. Adios. Until next time? Take care! ❤️


	9. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter explains Sooyoung’s life outside of Korea with a slight time jump. This chapter slightly grazes over the struggles both Jinsoul and Sooyoung faced while being apart from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _  
>  *****TW:// SLIGHT MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DRUGS*****   
>  _   
>  **  
>  **
> 
> So this is a long one and it took me about a good week (?) or so to write. I really enjoyed making this chapter and I’m even more excited for Part 2, which I’ve already started working on. I hope you enjoy ❤️

* * *

It’d been a year since that heart wrenching night that took place on the day Sooyoung decided to leave the country. Minho was angry at his sister, but he was even angrier at himself for being angry at her. He couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming, but he hoped to whatever God there was it wouldn’t happen. But it did. 

His least favorite parts of the whole ordeal was the wreckage Sooyoung left behind for him to clean. Their parents asking multiple questions, Yeojin and Yerim wondering where their sister went. And a pregnant, devastated Jinsoul. They grew somewhat closer since that night. Mainly because Minho was the closest thing to Sooyoung. Jinsoul pointed out their resemblance in personalities. How they were both caring and willing to help. How sweet they could both be. 

He would smile whenever she mentioned their shared traits. “She smiles like you.” Jinsoul would point out. Making him smile even harder as he enjoyed his coffee with her. 

But as the sun went down, he walked the streets. The area was full of drug dealers and men hanging out on the corners. Luckily for Minho, he was much taller than a majority of them and his physique was extraordinary. He walked down a dark alley and was faced with two large men guarding the door. “Name?”

“Minho.” He announced.

“Who are you here for?” 

“Mingyu.” He replied, and the men looked at each other before letting him inside. The moment he stepped in he was faced with a thick fog of smoke and the smell of weed. And girls with barely any clothes on walked around, winking at him as he was guided to a private area of the strip club. 

The moment he stepped inside he was faced with Mingyu, who was smiling brightly with women all over him. Minho cleared his throat to get his attention. A sinister smirk on his face as he turned to Minho. “Could you beautiful ladies give us a moment?” He said, and they kissed his cheek before walking off. Making sure to give Minho a touch or two on his shoulders and chest. 

He looked directly at Mingyu before removing his hoodie. 

“I’m assuming you sold all of what I gave you?” He questioned, lighting a cigar. The funny thing about Mingyu is that he never used the drugs he sold. He smoked cigars, sometimes cigarettes and drank alcohol. But never did any of the hardcore shit he sold or made people sell for him. 

Minho removed the money from his hoodie, tossing it onto the table in front of him. The stack was so thick he could barely hold it with one hand. Mingyu smiled before counting it. “Very good.” He pointed out, noticing Minho wasn’t talking very much. He never really did, but this was much different. “Not much of a talker these days huh?” 

“No.” 

“Good. Talking gets you killed.” He replied, grabbing half of the stack and throwing it back to Minho. “There’s your cut. I’ll be calling you back here in a few days, I’ve got a shipment coming in. You’re dismissed.” He simply said, waiving for his guard to let the strippers back in.

Minho stepped out, looking at the money in his hand before tucking it into his pants. It wasn’t safe carrying money around in obvious places, especially around an area like this. The only thing making him feel a little more comfortable was that if he was robbed, Mingyu would kill them in a heartbeat. Not because he gave a fuck about Minho, but because his money was being messed with. 

His hoodie was back on as he made his way back home. Getting into his car that he parked a few blocks away so he didn’t draw too much attention to himself. He was able to get a much better car with the money he earned from selling drugs. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was much better than the pickup truck that was slowly giving up on him. 

When he got back home, he put the money in his drawer as his girlfriend slept peacefully in bed. He removed his clothes, got into something comfier and held her close to him. He didn’t get much sleep that night, mainly because all he could think about was his sister.

* * *

**_1 YEAR AGO_ **

They all sat on the stairs as they watched Rowoon order his workers around. 

“What an obnoxious douchebag..” Jungeun pointed out, her arms resting on the stair behind her. 

It’d been hours since they arrived, and Jinsoul was feeling more worried every passing second. Her leg bouncing anxiously and her mouth going dry every minute. Lucas was also anxious, but for more than one reason. He too, was worried about Sooyoung’s whereabouts. But he was also anxious for the moment Jinsoul told him she was pregnant. But it seemed like she wouldn’t. Not on her own anyway. Especially with her being so worried at the moment. He turned around and they made eye contact. He gave a gentle smile, in which she returned. Although the sight of him made her sick.

Not exactly because of him but because of what they had done… or created for that matter. It didn’t feel right at all. She felt like she’d betrayed Sooyoung in a way, completely unaware of the fact that Sooyoung had already betrayed her in the worst way possible. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Lucas questioned, breaking her from her thoughts. She nodded, although she felt hesitant to leave this spot and walk off alone with him. They walked away from the area with the most people, standing in an empty hallway together. He towered over her, standing awkwardly for the first time in his life. He seemed nervous, looking down at his feet and such. “I um— I wanted to wait to see if you’d tell me or something but I-I gotta ask..” 

“Yes.” She responded, his head lifting up and looking into her eyes. “I am pregnant…” 

“T-That’s great!” He said excitedly. She wasn’t too happy about it to be fair. “Are you um… are you keeping it?” 

“I don’t know Lucas.” She replied truthfully. “I don’t really want to…” She trailed off.

He swallowed hard. “Have a kid with me… yeah… I get it.” 

“I’m sorry…” 

“It’s fine. You’re in love with someone else. I completely get it but… a kid… I could be a dad.” 

“Hugeeee responsibility.” She replied. “Not just for you. But for me too.. I’ve never had a kid, I've never really parented either… Lucas this is scary shit.” 

“We’ll figure it out together.. besides— what’s a better cover up story than the princess being married and having a kid with her rich husband?” He pointed out. “I’m your beard, remember?” 

“Please stop calling yourself my beard…” She begged. “I don’t know Lucas— and honestly, I don’t feel like talking about this right _now_.”

He nodded understandingly. “I get it. Whatever decision you make.. just know I support you 100%.” 

Jinsoul gave a gentle smile before walking off. She let out a deep exhale as she sat on the stairs. Lucas leaned against the railing, watching Jinsoul anxiously play with her hair. He decided to take matters into his own hands, catching Rowoon before he walked back outside. “Any word from Sooyoung yet?” He questioned, his hand wrapped firmly around Rowoon’s wrist. 

“No. I called her a few times and it went straight to voicemail.” He responded. 

“Is there anyone else we can get in contact with that may know her whereabouts?”

“Ask your wife. Maybe she’ll know.” Rowoon sharply said, and Lucas chuckled.

“Come on man.. don’t be like that—“

“Don’t come on man me. You probably knew about this shit and didn’t say a word.” 

“And if I did, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. She’s still your wife, and she went completely M.I.A on us. You should be worried, checking around for her. Something other than worrying about your stupid fucking paintings and 500,000 dollar sofas.” Lucas challenged, and Rowoon turned back around. Sizing him up and giving a glare. 

“Don’t forget where you came from pretty boy. You and I are the same.” He pointed, pressing his pointer finger against Lucas’ chest hard. 

Lucas clenched his jaw as he watched Rowoon turn around and guide one of the workers to a truck. 

“Anything?” Jinsoul questioned with hope in her eyes, and Lucas felt terrible having to be the one to diminish it.

“No. Nothing.” 

**_//_ **

It was 8pm now. And still no word from Sooyoung. Now Jinsoul was unbearably worried. She called Sooyoung continuously, sent her texts and asked about her whereabouts. 

From Jinsoul (5:12pm): Sooyoung??

From Jinsoul (6:15pm): Where are you? 

From Jinsoul (7:23pm): I’m at your house. We’re all waiting for you. 

From Jinsoul (7:46pm): come home. 

From Jinsoul (7:48pm): you’re worrying me…

From Jinsoul (7:51pm): Please call me! 

From Jinsoul (8:18pm): Sooyoung this isn’t funny. Call me now. 

From Jinsoul (8:20pm): Please? 

She lifted her head up when Rowoon returned inside. “There’s still um, a few things left, but they’re coming to pick it up tomorrow. I called Sooyoung and it went straight to voicemail..” 

Jinsoul looked at him. “Same here.” She responded. But he didn’t even acknowledge her. 

“I’ll call her brother.” He took his phone out and walked off.

“That guy has a major stick up his ass.” Jungeun pointed out.

“Spoiled boy traits.” Lucas pointed out. “Hopefully Minho can help us.” 

Rowoon returned from wherever he walked off to. “He isn’t answering either.” 

“You don’t think she ran off do you?” Jungeun questioned and Jinsoul immediately shut down the idea of that.

“No. She’d never just leave like that.. that’s not Sooyoung.” 

“Then you don’t know her very well do you?” Rowoon said with a bite in his tone. Jungeun slowly sat up as she saw where this was going already. 

“I know her enough. She wouldn’t do that to her family.” 

“Impulsive, selfish, broken Sooyoung? She’s done it before. She’ll definitely do it again if she has the chance.” 

“What are you talking about?”

“You think this is the first time she’s ever ran off?” He laughed. “Yeah.. you don’t know her very well.” 

“Neither do you.” 

“I know that you’re just a phase for her.” He said, knowing exactly what to say to get under Jinsoul’s skin. “An escape. But— if she ran off, not much of an escape for her huh?” 

“Fuck you.” Jinsoul said angrily.

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that man, come on.” Lucas stood up. “Can we just be civil right now? Sooyoung is missing. Try to call Minho again.” 

Rowoon rolled his eyes at the woman as he poured himself a glass of scotch. “Sure.” He walked off.

“Don’t listen to him.” Lucas tried to comfort her. “He’s just upset..” 

Rowoon attempted to call Minho again, and after a few rings he picked up. He was obviously asleep, which is why he hadn’t picked up the first few times Rowoon called. 

It didn’t take Minho very long to snap out of his sleepy state when his sister was involved. 

As they sat on the stairs, they could hear a car swerving into the driveway of the home. Jinsoul knew she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up, but she couldn’t help it. Especially right now. She was grasping onto anything. Rowoon downed another glass of scotch when the door was abruptly opened. “I’ve been calling her the entire drive up here. It keeps going straight to voicemail.” 

“My texts aren’t even delivering to her phone.” Jinsoul added.

“Either she has a new phone, or she blocked all of you.” 

“Probably the first option.” Lucas responded. 

Minho turned to Rowoon who seemed to have an unbothered expression on his face. Deep down, he knew Rowoon had something to do with it. But he didn’t want to make assumptions. The room was tense as they all sat in one area together. 

“Who was the last person she saw?” Minho questioned, staring directly at Rowoon.

“She told me she was going to see a friend.” He replied, drinking some more scotch from his clear glass. 

Minho’s eyes widened as he quickly moved to speak to Heejin, who was sound asleep when her phone began ringing.

_**//** _

She held the pillow over her head as the ringtone of her phone continuously went off.

“Please… just… answer it.” Hyunjin said grumpily with her eyes shut tightly. 

Heejin groaned loudly, smacking her palms down onto the bed as she sat up. Moving her hair from her face and picking up. “Hello..?” She sleepily said, hearing Minho’s panicked voice woke her immediately though. “Whoa slow down— huh? No? She told me she was on her way back home when she came here…” 

Hyunjin slowly turned to Heejin now after hearing her responses to the person on the other end. “Minho I— I have no clue what you’re talking about.” She replied. “Okay, okay, look. I’m on my way alright?” 

“Everything okay?”

“Sooyoung’s missing.” Heejin shakily replied.

_**//** _

“I’m supposed to be in a five star hotel right now, not in this nearly empty house.” Rowoon complained.

“Yeah well my sister is missing, so I don’t give a fuck about your hotel.” Minho said angrily, his patience wearing thin the longer he was around this unbearable man. They heard the doorbell ring. And Minho instantly ran to open it. Spotting Heejin waiting there anxiously, he pulled her into a hug.

“I swear, she didn’t really seem too off when she was at my place. She just seemed in a hurry, but I figured it was because of her husband.” She truthfully said. “That isn’t the first time she had to leave off quickly. So I didn’t think too much about it.. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”

Heejin even noticed the unbothered expression on Rowoon’s face as she watched him pour alcohol into his glass. Downing it with ease as he poured another. “This is Lucas, Jinsoul—“

“Princess Jinsoul.” Heejin corrected.

“Uh.. honestly, just Jinsoul is fine.” Jinsoul smiled at her and Heejin smiled back.

“Jungeun.” The girl introduced herself as she winked at Heejin, who wasn’t even bothered by the flirty antics. 

“This is Heejin. A family friend. But mostly Sooyoung’s closest friend.” Minho introduced as he stood beside the shorter girl with a hand on her shoulder. 

“Nice to meet you all.” 

“I don’t get a proper introduction?” Rowoon suddenly said, the alcohol obviously making him brave enough to speak more. 

“Trust me— I know all too well of who you are.” Heejin said, side eyeing him. “So what’s the plan?” 

“I’m not sure. We can’t get in touch with Sooyoung, the last person she saw was you.. there’s not much to go off of here.” Jinsoul spoke anxiously. 

“You don’t think she ran off do you?” Heejin questioned.

“It’s not completely out of the question.” Minho responded, his blood boiling the second Rowoon opened his mouth.

“It wouldn’t be the first time she ran away from her problems..” He muttered.

“Say another fucking word about my sister and you’ll be face down on this floor.” Minho charged, but Lucas instantly stood up, keeping Minho in place.

“Not until we get answers.” He said, but only loud enough for Minho to hear. Heejin soothingly ran a hand along his back. 

“Do you have any idea of where she could be?” Lucas questioned.

“You should ask your wife. I’m sure she’s gotten to know Sooyoung and her antics over the past few months. She barely spoke to me, about anything. She kept to herself for the most part. I gather she didn’t really love me like she said she did.” 

“Probably because you treat her like shit.” Jinsoul spoke up. “Yeah— she did talk to me a lot. But she hardly ever spoke down on you the way that you do to her.” 

Rowoon chuckled. “Her knight in shining armor is here. Did she speak to you before or after she used you for sex?”

That stung. Jinsoul knew his game and the things he would say to throw her off. But with Sooyoung not being there in that moment, she couldn’t help but question it. Especially after she abruptly cut off what they had and left her a crying mess on the floor of their shared home. “She always spoke to me. She loved me.” 

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about love.” Rowoon insulted. “Love to you is getting your way. Spoiled little princess who gets whatever she wants, and when she doesn’t, she throws a tantrum.” 

“I could say the same to you.” 

“Yeah no. See, my family earned their wealth. I’m a brain surgeon, my dad owns multiple businesses around this country and my mother is the staple for some of the most expensive clothing and jewelry brands around here.” He explained. “But you, Jung Jinsoul— you were born rich. Spoon fed everything. You don’t know anything about love, and I highly doubt Sooyoung could ever teach you what that is. Broken people don’t know what true love is.” 

Heejin just stood there and watched them fight, unsure of what to say. But she could tell this was escalating quickly. He swished the liquid in his cup around, eyeing it as he spoke. “You came in here with your selfish privilege despite the nature of Sooyoung’s problems, and caused a hurricane that’s just beginning to make its way through your paradise.” He added. “When you love someone. You do what’s best for them. Which is why I’m moving her away from here. Where she can have a fresh start, a clear mind. Away from toxicity.” 

“She has family and friends here.” Heejin defended. “You can’t just take her away from that.” 

“She already agreed to come.” Rowoon smiled. “I didn’t force her.” 

“Sooyoung wouldn’t just up and leave like this. What did you do to my sister?” Minho challenged again, getting into Rowoon’s face as he smirked cockily down at the man in front of him.

“I didn’t do anything pretty boy.” He said. “And if I were you, I’d back up just a bit. You’re stepping into dangerous territory.”

“I’m not afraid of you.” Minho replied confidently.

“That’s fine. But— I just need you to know that, if you don’t cooperate with me, your sister suffers the most.” Rowoon warned.

Heejin watched with wide eyes as Minho clenched his jaw and pushed Rowoon back hard. But the man just laughed it off. The power he possessed was clearly getting to him, and he was afraid he was too far in to back down now. Especially because he was outnumbered here. They heard a phone going off, and Heejin reached into her pocket and discovered an unknown number calling her. She debated on answering but she eventually picked up. Her heart rate calming at the familiar voice on the other end.

“Don’t say anything, don’t even show a trace of knowing that it’s me talking to you right now.” Sooyoung spoke. “I have to leave. I don’t know when I’ll be back. But for now, I have to go. Rowoon is threatening to ruin my life. I can’t allow that, I-I just cant. I’ve caused too many problems and I just need to get away for a while.” 

“ _Explain_ how the twins are causing problems at home.” Was all Heejin said. Trying to pretend she was speaking to Hyunjin.

“He threatened to out me and Jinsoul… my life would be ruined… Heejin i’m fucking terrified.” 

Heejin had to hold back her tears. Her body was going through so many emotions in that moment. She was worried, but most of all sympathetic. Sooyoung’s voice shook as she talked. Being overwhelmed with tears. “I-I have to go. My 2nd flight is boarding soon. I love you Heejin.” And the line cut.

Heejin slowly lowered her phone as the sounds around her were muffled. The situation in front of her escalated quickly. The tension was unbearable between Minho and Rowoon. Deep down, he knew Rowoon was the reason for Sooyoung’s disappearance. The problem was, he had no clue where she was or could’ve gone. He highly doubts she went to their secret hideout. It was too easy of a find, and she knew Minho would try to talk her out of whatever it was she had planned ahead. 

“Guys we shouldn’t be fighting. Sooyoung is fucking missing. Get a grip.” Jungeun spoke up. Getting irritated by the constant bickering between the men. The only calm one of the 3 being Lucas. Who didn’t really want to fight. He watched Jinsoul anxiously as she chewed at her nails, looking around as if she was waiting for something. He sighed deeply. There were many things he could help with. Buying her a car, or 3. A house. A fucking horse if she wanted. Taking her to a private island where she can just relax away from the world for a bit. She never liked the idea of that though.

She seemed to enjoy the luxury at times. Especially the fancy dinners. But that slowly decreased when she met Sooyoung. The glances she gave the other woman at the tables they shared with the couple were hard to miss. But he figured it was just because they got along well. Which he liked seeing. Jinsoul didn’t have many close friends outside of Jungeun. So he was happy, and it warmed his heart to see her smiling so much. But overtime, he began to realize it wasn’t because of him. 

Sooyoung was the reason behind that smile. And now Sooyoung is the reason Jinsoul was sitting here, worried sick to her stomach. 

She sat and wondered what she could’ve possibly done differently. Begged a little harder for Sooyoung to stay? Tell her how she couldn’t sleep or breathe without her? She could’ve. But she didn’t, because that would be selfish. She hated the idea of being selfish when it came to Sooyoung. Especially seeing how much it hurt Sooyoung too. Almost as if she did it because that was the only way to keep Jinsoul from hurting when she left.

Jinsoul’s eyes widened. “She left.” She suddenly said, and Minho turned to her.

“What?” 

“Heejin said everything was abrupt when Sooyoung left. Like she was in a rush…” Jinsoul continued. “She ran off.” 

Rowoon scoffed, downing his drink. Before throwing his glass at the wall. The sound of it shattering making everyone jump. He laughed, but it had a sinister undertone to it. “I guess old habits never really die.” 

“What?” Lucas questioned. 

“This isn’t the first time she’s done this.. yeah. Her mother told me all about it. I saw it coming a mile away, but I had some faith in her. I did.” He laughed. “But what can you expect to come out of your wife fucking some desperate girl in need of some… loving.” He said, making a gross thrusting motion. 

Yeah, the alcohol had definitely gotten to him now. His words slurred as he laughed at everything that left his mouth. Almost as if he found this all a joke. Jinsoul flinched away at him calling her desperate. She wasn’t desperate… she was just in love. Why couldn’t he see that? His blinding hatred prevented him from seeing it. 

“How can you talk about someone you claim to love like that?” Jinsoul questioned, standing up. “You didn’t deserve Sooyoung.” 

“And you did?” Rowoon questioned with a chuckle. “You’re not too perfect yourself my dear.” 

Jinsoul wasn’t perfect, and she knew that. But she was far much better than he was. In every single way. “I know you did something to her.. she wouldn’t just up and leave like this….” 

“And yet she did. She left all of you. With no remorse. If I knew she’d wound up crazy I would’ve turned this all down. But hey— the bitch is going to get what she deserve—“ 

Before he could even finish his sentence, he was knocked to the floor by Minho. The punch he threw echoing throughout the empty house as she dropped down to his knees and threw a few more punches before Lucas pulled him off. 

“Damn!” Jungeun couldn’t believe how quickly it happened. But she smiled the entire time.

Lucas used all the strength he had to hold Minho back from the man on the floor. Rowoon reached up to hold his nose as the blood rushed from it and onto the floor. He stood up slowly, laughing at the man being held back with anger in his eyes. “You’re going to pay for that.” He warned. “Get the fuck out of my house.” He ordered.

But when they didn’t budge, he raised his voice higher. “ALL OF YOU!” He yelled, and Lucas looked at the girls as he held Minho in place.

“Come on. Let’s get the fuck out of here. We’ll figure this all out tomorrow. Jinsoul, you need rest.” 

But she didn’t want to rest. She wanted Sooyoung, completely unaware of the fact she wouldn’t have her for a while.

* * *

She was exhausted by the time she reached her destination. The girl she’d made friends with had sat somewhere else on the plane. She couldn’t really find her, so the rest of her trip was beside an old couple who kept asking her about the books she likes to read. She responded with the fact that she wasn’t into books, more into music, and with that she’d turn her music up higher. 

She made her way off of the plane, wearing a hoodie over her head and a mask. “Sooyoung right?” She heard someone beside her say. 

She turned and felt herself relax a tiny bit at the familiar face. “Nayeon. Hi.” She said quietly.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab something to eat? Unless you have other things to do then—“

“I’d love that.” She quickly replied. And Nayeon smiled softly at her.

**_//_ **

“You look pretty exhausted..” Nayeon pointed out as they ate some steak. 

“Long flight.” She replied, but truthfully, the flight was less tiring than everything else that had happened to her in the span of 3 days. She was terribly exhausted. Not just from the plane, but life too. 

Nayeon noticed the way Sooyoung toyed with her food. Picking at it and stabbing the fork into the meat aimlessly. Cutting a piece and chewing it slowly. She drank a lot of water it seemed. 

Truthfully she was freaking out a little now. “I need to use the restroom.” She said, excusing herself from the table. The second she opened a stall she leaned over and vomited into the toilet. Feeling dizzy as everything started coming back to her. How fucked she is now and quickly beginning to panic as she realized she had no plan. And she didn’t have too much money either. She collected her savings that she had tucked away from Rowoon. A good $300,000 to use for now. 

But her head was spinning as she tried to level her breathing, staring at the stall wall as she leaned against the other one. Panting heavily for what seemed like hours but was less than 2 minutes. She calmed down, feeling an empty feeling in her chest as her mind wandered to the woman she fell deeply for. Wishing she was being held tightly by her, kissing her neck and cheeks until she calmed down. 

The thought alone calmed her, and she left the stall and threw some water on her face. She really did look exhausted. When she returned back to the table, Nayeon was almost done with her meal. “Everything alright?” She questioned cheerily.

“Yeah. Everything is fine.” Sooyoung lied, continuing with her meal. 

She learned a decent amount about Nayeon as they sat there another hour after already finishing their meal. Nayeon ordered some dessert as she spoke about her life to Sooyoung. She envied her cheerfulness. She seemed to love her life, up until the point she mentioned pursuing her dreams in honor of her late mother. That was the only time she saw Nayeon’s eyes sad. But she quickly moved past that, smiling and asking Sooyoung a few things.

She didn’t share much. She didn’t want to anyway. Everything was too complicated and the last thing she needed was having a breakdown in front of everyone in that restaurant. So she kept it brief, and quickly changed the subject a few times. When she checked the time, she realized it was getting a little late, and she needed to find a hotel to check-in and stay in for the night. 

The two exchanged numbers before going their separate ways. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Nayeon smiled. “L.A is a big place. I’m sure you’ll find it soon.” She gave Sooyoung a small hug before turning away with a smile on her face. Sooyoung just watched her walk off until she was out of sight. She pulled out her phone, quickly checking up some hotels in the area. To her surprise, there was one just a few blocks away. 

She could walk there.

It wasn’t a big deal. Plus she could look around at the pretty area around her. Getting used to the crowded streets and the people who walked by her. Some smiling, some happy and laughing with friends. Others alone, walking with earphones in and a drag to their walk. Kind of like her, besides the earphones part. It hadn’t dawned on her that she didn’t know too much english. She knew the basics, but that was pretty much it. Not to mention she doesn't even know when she’s leaving to Korea again, or if she ever will leave to Korea again.

She came across a motel, and with the small amount of english she knew, she managed to book a room for the night. 

As expected, it wasn’t the best place she’d ever been in. But it was better than nothing. She lied down on the bed after the long exhausting day she had, staring up at the ceiling as her reality slowly began to dawn on her once again. But the main focal point of it was Jinsoul. How she’d abandoned her without leaving a trace behind. It was selfish, and she knew it was. And she wouldn’t be surprised if Jinsoul fucking hated her after all of this. 

Because truthfully, she hated herself already. Probably enough for the both of them. It took an overwhelming amount of willpower to ignore the calls and texts that flew her way that entire week. 

And as selfish as it sounds, this was the first time she’s felt somewhat free and relieved. She truly believes anyone in her position would’ve done the same thing. Rowoon’s mother had full control of her even when she was in the vicinity of friends and family, she couldn’t imagine moving to another part of the country. Hours away from them all. She’d be dead by the end of the year just off the ridiculous diets she was forced to be on alone. 

It was exhausting. Very very exhausting. She didn’t think she could continue on another 10 years of that, let alone 1. And that was just with Rowoon having no knowledge of her relationship. But now that he knew, things would be much worse for her. She couldn’t take it. 

_//_

The thing that dawned on Sooyoung the most, was that in the end, the person she hurt the most was Jinsoul. It’d taken her about 4 months to realize that. But that was probably because she finally had time to sit down and think about it all. She recently started living in an apartment building that her friend Nayeon helped her get. Sooyoung paid for it mostly, but Nayeon had a friend who owned the building. So she was able to help Sooyoung out, which the girl was greatly appreciative of. 

It was in a pretty nice area too. Just down the street from a few shopping centers. “Oh, the trash compactor is righttt down there.” Nayeon pointed out, and Sooyoung nodded.

“Thanks.” She softly smiled, and just before Nayeon walked off she stopped. “Hey um—“

“Hm?” Nayeon quickly turned around.

“Thanks for uh— helping me out here. I really appreciate it..” 

Nayeon smiled back, and gently patted Sooyoung’s shoulder. “No need to thank me. That’s what friends are for.”

_**//** _

Sooyoung realized she didn’t have much to eat inside of the house once she opened the fridge. “Right.. you have to buy your own food now..” She muttered. It was raining just a little that day for some reason, so she grabbed a hoodie from her suitcase and tossed it on. Putting her hair into a ponytail before grabbing her keys and stepping out. The moment she did, she jumped from the sound of something dropping to the hardwood floor of the apartment hallway. 

“Damn it.” She heard a woman say, as she hastily dropped to the floor to pick up the items that fell from her bag. Sooyoung quickly moved to help her, and the woman glanced up for a moment. “New neighbor?” 

Sooyoung looked up and was taken aback by how gorgeous the woman was. Her features were perfect. But even though that woman was stunningly beautiful, she was sure she’d never see someone as beautiful as Jinsoul. “Uh.. yeah.” She said, handing the woman the bag of tomatoes she dropped. 

“Joohyun.” She introduced, and for a moment Sooyoung’s heart dropped to her ass. The woman having the same name as her mother made her stomach turn.

“S-Sooyoung.” She replied back, as the woman stood up, so did Sooyoung. She was much taller than Joohyun. 

“Nayeon told me I’d be having a new friend soon.. she didn’t say you’d be this pretty though. It’s really nice to meet you Sooyoung...” She smiled, before opening her apartment door and smiling shyly before closing it. 

Sooyoung shook her head as she left the building. She was never really good with compliments. Her focus quickly shifted at the smell of food coming from various restaurants. The korean bbq definitely caught her attention though. She felt a little at home, eating the pork belly and other dishes. She walked home that night as the sun set, walking into her apartment and falling onto her couch. She was tired, and her mind ran wild as she lay there, looking at the ceiling in silence. 

She closed her eyes briefly and all that flashed behind the dark eyelids was Jinsoul. Her stupid addicting smile. Her beautiful face and that smile. Her intoxicating scent and the warmth that radiated off her body. She missed her so deeply that it physically made her sob into her hand as she tried to muffle the sound. She wondered if she was doing okay right now. Probably moving on with her life and forgetting about Sooyoung as she expected. 

She couldn’t deny the urge to just run back to Jinsoul and lay in her arms. Hold her and apologize for the distress she caused and watched the world crash and burn around them. But it wasn’t about her. It never was to be fair. It was about her family and their future. It was about providing them another meal on their table each night. 

But how could she deny how badly she wanted to just be with Jinsoul in their secret shared home. Kissing each other until the sun came up. Cooking each other breakfast and watching shows all day. Or swimming in their pool barely clothed. And if they didn’t do that, they’d lay in bed. Telling each other how much they loved the other while they were in between the others legs. Falling asleep and waking up together again. The warmth they provided being better than any heater in the world. No matter what blanket they wore it never compared to Sooyoung being in Jinsoul’s arms. Or resting her head on Jinsoul’s chest as she dozed off. 

She didn’t forget the times Jinsoul thought she was fast asleep. Resting peacefully in Jinsoul’s arms, she’d feel her soft pink lips press against the crown of her head. Whispering softly to Sooyoung that she was the love of her life. “Nobody compares to you..” She would whisper.

“I’d die without you.” 

“You’re my everything.” 

“How can someone be so beautiful..?” 

Sooyoung drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face as she thought about Jinsoul. The only thing that kept her going even from miles away. “Please don’t forget about me..” She muttered, as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sooyoung awakened to the sound of knocks at her door. She managed to pull herself off of the sofa as she wobbled tirelessly over to the door. When she opened it, she was met with the shorter woman next door, who introduced herself as Joohyun last time they met. 

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you. I just brought you some welcoming gifts.” She smiled softly, raising the basket full of fresh fruits and a 6 pack of wine coolers. 

Sooyoung managed to open her left eye now as she moved aside. “You can just place it there on the counter.” She said, directing Joohyun to the kitchen. 

She did as she was told, moving to place the items on the kitchen counter. “I’d love to have a drink with you.. if you have time of course.” She insisted, and Sooyoung looked at her like she was crazy.

“I’m not too much of a drinker.. also this early in the morning?” 

“Sooyoung… it’s 3:52 pm.” She responded, and Sooyoung took a look at the clock and realized Joohyun was indeed right. “Just one drink won't hurt.” 

“Fine. Can I get myself together first?” Sooyoung questioned.

“Take your time.” The woman smiled. 

“Make yourself at home.” The taller woman said as she walked off to clean her face and such. 

Joohyun aimlessly walked around the living room. There wasn’t much to take in, Sooyoung didn’t seem like much of a decorator. The walls are practically empty and the only thing that even brought out the setting of the living room was a plant sitting idly on the coffee table. She took a few sips of her wine cooler as she waited for Sooyoung’s return. Sitting down onto the sofa as she scrolled through instagram on her phone.

Joohyun was pretty popular on social media. It wasn’t too far off considering the face she had. She also modeled for a few brands there in L.A. 

She’d had her fair share of relationships here and there. But she never really outright seeked them. They kind of came to her and she just went with the flow. She liked to think she was someone who would settle down with someone one day. But for the most part, she was pretty content being single, at least after her last breakup. It’d been about 4 months since then, she moved out of the home she shared with her ex and stayed here. Their mutual friend Nayeon also helped her settle in. 

When Sooyoung returned, Joohyun put her phone away. Instantly giving Sooyoung her full attention. It wasn’t in a way you would think though. It’s just how Joohyun was. She had a thing for letting people know they were being seen and heard. Because truthfully she wanted the same in return. Except she was used to having eyes on her, giving her their full attention as she spoke or sometimes just simply was in the presence of others. “Feel a bit more refreshed?” She questioned as Sooyoung took a seat at the other end of the sofa.

“Yeah.. Do you always visit your friends this early?” 

“Once again, it’s now 4pm Sooyoung..” Joohyun pointed out. “What time do friends usually visit you?”

If what she meant by friends were actual people she gave a fuck about or gave a fuck about her, she’d say they didn’t visit her. She visited them. But if she meant the snobby rich assholes that came in and out of her home, she’d say about 8pm at night. “The people I know usually operate on night time schedules.” 

“Fair enough.” She responded, watching Sooyoung try to open her wine cooler with just her hand. She grabbed the bottle and popped the top off with the bottle opener. “You’re welcome.” 

“Are you always like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“Acting like a know it all..” Sooyoung pointed out and Joohyun actually cackled loudly, making Sooyoung jump in her spot.

“Me? I wouldn’t say I’m a ‘know it all’. I think some things are just common sense. Don’t you think?” Joohyun questioned, leaning back against the arm of the sofa. 

“I suppose…” She quietly responded as she finally took a sip of the wine cooler. It basically tasted like juice.. she could get used to this. 

“So.. what brings you to L.A?” She asked. Sooyoung could tell Joohyun wasn’t necessarily prying. It was a simple conversation starter, but she couldn’t help but feel her skin crawl at even bringing up what brought her here. 

“Just needed a change of scenery.” She lied, somewhat… 

“Fair enough.” 

“How about you? What brings you here?” 

“Opportunity.” Joohyun replied. “You see.. I model, so I wanted to broaden my brand.. I moved here about 3 years ago with my… ex. I recently started living on my own last year.” She responded truthfully. 

“A model? Can’t say I’m surprised..” Sooyoung laughed.

Joohyun laughed too. Joohyun hadn’t really gotten a chance to see Sooyoung up close. She was pretty, of course. But it was something that seriously stood out about her once you were able to actually sit down with her. She honestly looked cold off of appearance alone. But Joohyun had people say the same about her. Which was a prime example of why it’s best to not base someone off of their appearance. “What makes you say that?” She questioned the taller woman beside her.

“You have a nice face so..” 

“I can agree with that.” Joohyun laughed. “How long have you been staring at my face?” She teased.

“Stop.. I just think it’s very out there. Hard to miss. Definitely a picture perfect face.” She complimented. 

“I appreciate that.” She smiled. “But yeah. No other reason other than wanting to get out and see what the world has to offer for me.” 

“And you’re korean?” 

“Full blown.” Joohyun assured. 

“You don’t think Korea had opportunities for you?”

“Did you?” She questioned back, and when Sooyoung didn’t reply she figured she got her answer. “Your silence tells me we both didn’t like it too much back there.” 

Sooyoung downed some more of her drink. Definitely a story she’d have to save for another time.. or never at all. She quickly got up. “I suppose we should start eating this fruit. I can’t eat this all alone..” She grabbed it, walking back over to the living room with some napkins. 

“I guess I should’ve gotten a smaller one huh?” 

“Maybe.” Sooyoung laughed. “But I don’t mind sharing.” She unraveled the packaging as they began to plop off pieces of fruit they wanted. Drinking their wine and just enjoying the fresh flavors. Sooyoung had many thoughts running through her mind, and none of them consisted of the girl beside her. All she kept thinking about was her family back at home. And Jinsoul… she couldn’t even imagine the heartache she put her through. She hoped she would understand eventually. 

She also couldn’t help but feel herself panic, constantly checking the news over in South Korea, waiting to see her relationship with a princess being exposed. But that moment never came, at least.. for now.

Sooyoung was thankful for Joohyun being someone she didn’t have to force herself to speak for. The other woman seemed just as quiet as she was. But the moment she began to speak it was a bit hard to get her to stop. Not that Sooyoung really cared. She honestly needed the company. It was much better than sitting in this apartment and running herself crazy for hours. 

“What do you like to do?” Joohyun questioned, slowly finishing her wine cooler the longer they sat there. You’d think they would’ve spoken a lot more in the 3 hours they spent together. But it was mostly filled with small talk, and them slowly getting pieces of information out of each other. 

“Umm like hobby wise?” 

“Yeah. Ya know. Do you draw? Exercise? Do you like to cook?” 

“Definitely don’t like to cook.” They both laughed at that. “Umm— I like to play music..” 

“Are you good at it?” 

“I’d like to think so.” Sooyoung smiled as she was on her second wine cooler now. 

“Do you like writing it or?” 

“I can play the piano… and guitar… and the drums. I played violin in middle school and um, I joined my school's choir in high school for about a year.” 

“So you’re a prodigy?” Joohyun teased, seeing Sooyoung shyly laugh at her choice of words. “Have you ever thought of going into the music business?” 

Sooyoung sat in thought for a moment. Truthfully, it was something she wanted. To maybe one day compose a song for someone special, or sell music to people who would shine better on stage with it than she would. But the way her life was laid out for her, it seemed pretty bleak. Almost like a dream that she couldn’t seem to piece together. Her life was completely scrambled and yet put together at once. 

The scrambled parts being what she wanted and how she wanted to go about things. The put together part… well, just look at what she was running away from. “Yeah. At some point in my life. But, that’s a stretch now.” She admitted, and Joohyun knew better than to push her any further on that topic. She was closed off for a reason, and not just because Joohyun was technically a stranger. 

“What about you? What do you like to do?” Sooyoung questioned and Joohyun smiled. Nobody ever really cared to know what she had going for her outside of being pretty. 

“I enjoy doing Yoga, I like to cook, and dance. I actually teach dance lessons at a studio here in L.A… you should come by sometime.” She insisted, smiling brightly. She could tell Sooyoung needed a picker upper. Just something to do, so she didn’t mind offering and giving her options. Besides, she was new here. She was sure Sooyoung would greatly appreciate it. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled back. Sooyoung actually had taken dance classes back in elementary. These things only being dug up because she was in such a cloud back at home that she forgot she was her own person before this all. It was nice to reminisce. But it just reminded her how shitty things had turned out for her. Things were so much easier back then. 

Joohyun checked her phone before slowly getting up. It was already getting to 9pm. “I should probably head out now.” She said, standing up fully now. Sooyoung placed her wine cooler down and did the same. “Not that I don’t want to stay.. it’s honestly been awhile since I enjoyed someone’s company.” She admitted. “But I have a few things to do early tomorrow.” 

“No need to explain. I get it.” Sooyoung assured, walking her to the door.

“We should do this again sometime.” She insisted.

“Yeah… sometime.” Sooyoung smiled.

“Goodnight Sooyoung.”

“Goodnight Joohyun.” She shut the door slowly before sighing deeply. 4 months away from the person she longed for every single day. She wondered how Jinsoul was doing, although it wasn’t too hard to see at times. The only good thing about Jinsoul being a public figure at times is that she’d get spotted doing things around the city every now and then. 

Recently, she was spotted leaving a fitness center with Lucas. She wore a hoodie, which Sooyoung wasn’t used to seeing her in. But from the brand on the hoodie alone, she knew it wasn’t just any usual hoodie. She was sure it cost about $5000 at most. Rich people and their spending habits. She could turn a blind eye when it came to Jinsoul though. Lucas had silver hair now, which Sooyoung honestly thought looked pretty cool on him. He still had that same old goofy smile though, so nothing had really changed. Other than the forced smile Jinsoul had on her face for paparazzi. 

She missed seeing that smile in person. She missed hearing her voice. She missed Jinsoul. The only thing stopping her from telling Jinsoul on her whereabouts was how she knew the other woman would drop everything for her. Come running just to be with her. She couldn’t allow that, and Jinsoul knew she wouldn’t allow that. 

It was weird how Sooyoung hardly ever slept in her bed. She was sure it was because laying around in motels for so long had gotten to her. She’d much rather lay on the sofa. At least for now. It was much comfier than her bed anyway. She definitely needed to buy a new mattress. And some new pillows… and blankets. Ones that were much comfier, like the ones at her and Jinsoul’s shared home. But after much thinking, she was sure it wasn’t the bed that comforted her…

It was Jinsoul. It was always Jinsoul. 

Another month had passed by at this point. She changed her number eventually, the phone calls and text messages overwhelming her to the point she cried and didn’t eat for days. Everyone was worried sick, and it was her fault. But was it unfair to put herself first for once? She hasn’t had a moment of peace since the moment she turned 21. Nearly 7 years of this torment was enough to put her in a state of selfishness. She was mentally exhausted, and when she was mentally exhausted, it physically exhausted her. 

To the point she lay on her sofa for days. Barely even getting up to use the bathroom or take a sip of water. She’d lay there and watch the sunrise and set. She’d close her eyes, and it’d be night time. She’d close them again, and the sun was rising. Her body was so tired that she was able to sleep for long periods of time. Therapy never really crossed her mind. 

Sometimes it’d get really bad, to the point she didn’t even answer Nayeon’s calls. And she certainly ignored the knocks on her door from who she assumed was Joohyun. One day, it was so worrisome that Nayeon got a key to her apartment and went up there on her own. Opening the door with a worried Joohyun right behind her. 

“Jesus Sooyoung..” Nayeon said as she looked at her worn out friend laying flat on the sofa. She opened the curtains and lifted the blinds, letting in some fresh air and some light. Sooyoung barely flinched, just wincing away from the sunlight on her face. “What’s gotten into you?” 

Over the course of her 5 month stay in L.A, she’d barely told Nayeon about her problems. Probably because she did so well when it came to ignoring them, until she hit rock bottoms like this. She was sure this was the worst one though. She usually climbed her way out of this funk, but this time, it seemed impossible. “I just want to sleep…” Sooyoung slurred, not that she was drunk, but she genuinely felt like it took everything her body to just use her lips and voice.

“When’s the last time you showered? Eaten? Anything?” Nayeon questioned, looking at the woman on the couch as Joohyun watched. “And you seriously need a haircut…” 

“Who keeps track of that anymore?” 

“I’ll go make something to eat..” Joohyun said, walking over to the kitchen as Nayeon used every bit of strength she had to lift up Sooyoung. Who wasn’t much help honestly. Joohyun’s eyes widened.

“Jesus, do you even go grocery shopping?” She questioned, looking at the empty fridge that had a nearly empty milk carton and some sliced pieces of cheese. 

“It’s been a while..” She replied. 

“I’ll be back.” Joohyun said, shaking her head and leaving the apartment. 

Sooyoung allowed Nayeon to help her up. Not that she had much strength to fight her off anyway. She was placed onto the covered toilet as Nayeon ran some water. “We’re friends and all but I’m not sure I want to see your naked body yet so… undress and I’ll turn away.” She said, helping the girl up as she looked away. She waited patiently until she heard the shower curtain pulled back. 

“I’m in.” Sooyoung said, and Nayeon nodded, although she couldn’t see that. 

She grabbed Sooyoung’s dirty clothes and tossed them into her hamper as she found some clean clothes for her to wear. She returned to the bathroom and placed them onto the toilet seat with some fresh towels as well. “When you’re done, just get dressed. I’ll be out in the living room. If you need anything just yell.” 

Sooyoung didn’t reply, but Nayeon understood. Leaving the bathroom and giving her some space. Joohyun had returned with ingredients from her own kitchen. “We need to grocery shop for her.” 

“She hates getting help.” Nayeon commented as she looked at something on her phone.

“I don’t care what she hates. I’ve seen people in this state before, they need a pick up, no matter how much they deny it.” Joohyun explained as she washed her hands. “Do you have any idea what’s wrong with her?” She questioned as she began to chop up some onions.

Nayeon shrugged. “She’s pretty closed off. But i’m sure you’ve realized that in the month you’ve been talking to her.” 

“Believe it or not, I don’t talk to her much either. I’m her neighbor, but I barely see the girl.” Joohyun admitted. 

“Well. Everyone has their own damn baggage.” 

**_//_ **

Sooyoung took her time in the shower, slowly scrubbing at her skin and washing her hair gently. She stepped out and looked into the mirror, she needed a quick face wash. She hadn’t done one in days, and it was obvious the laying around and crying had caused her a tiny breakout. Not that anyone else really cared. She wasn’t constantly judged around here, or if she was, no one outright said anything to her face to make her feel bad about herself.

Nayeon ran to the store quickly during her shower and bought a few groceries. Just to stock her friend up a bit for the next week or so. It was the least she could do. Joohyun had almost finished cooking by the time Sooyoung stepped into the kitchen. “What are you doing?” She questioned the shorter woman.

“Making sure you eat.” Joohyun said.

“Where’d Nayeon go?” 

“Grocery store.” Joohyun replied as she placed the cooked meat onto a plate. “She’s making sure you have some food for the next few days. Things you don’t have to cook, just warm them up.” She grabbed the pan with the steamed vegetables and placed them onto Sooyoung’s plate. 

“Ugh..” 

“Eat.. you need the energy.” Joohyun insisted. “I made you some tea as well.” 

“Thanks.” She slowly began to eat. Joohyun watched her from the corner of her eye as she cleaned the things she used. She wondered who or what caused Sooyoung such pain. She was content with not knowing, as long as she could help in some way. 

When Nayeon returned, she held two bags in her hand and began putting away the food she bought for Sooyoung. “Instant ramen for dinner, I even bought you kimchi to go along with it.” She smiled, pointing at it before putting it away.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She smiled.

“Sooyoung, what do you think about cutting your hair to this length?” Nayeon questioned. “I know a good hairstylist around here, she’d be happy to do it for you.” 

“Ooo! Or you could dye your hair red.” 

“ _Red_?” She questioned. “I’d look like an idiot..” 

“I think it’d look good on you.” Nayeon agreed with Joohyun. “Besides.. you need a new look. It helps with morale.” 

“Yeah she’s right. I cut my hair too. Dyed it purple at some point as well.”

“I went blonde!” Nayeon joined in.

“I’ll… think about it..” Sooyoung muttered.

“Now, believe it or not, I have a job to attend. So I can’t stay much longer, but if you need _anything_ at all, I’m just a phone call away.” Nayeon said, hugging Sooyoung from behind before leaving. She hugged Joohyun as well. “You too Joohyun.” She laughed.

“I’m older than you.” 

“You still need babysitting sometimes too.” Nayeon laughed again, waving and closing the door behind her.

Joohyun quietly moved away from the kitchen as Sooyoung finished her meal. She sat on the sofa and watched whatever it was Nayeon put on the tv. She didn’t watch tv often, she preferred being on her phone playing games. 

She didn’t say anything when Sooyoung joined her, watching tv as well. They sat in silence for a bit before Sooyoung began to speak. “Do you ever feel like you’ve reached your peak?” She asked the woman beside her.

“Me?... well, not necessarily.” She replied truthfully. “I’m 34 now and yeah.. I feel like I still have very long to go before I ever reach my peak.. I also feel like you never really _reach_ your peak.” 

“I feel like I’ve reached mine sometimes.. like nothing can really go up or down from here.” 

Joohyun listened carefully. She didn’t want to speak over Sooyoung or lecture her. So she just let her speak. “But what do I know? I haven’t seen much for myself outside of what I’ve been conditioned to…” 

“I’m very sure you haven’t reached your peak yet. You’re young. You have time to grow and become much bigger than what you are now.” 

“What if you don’t want that?” Sooyoung questioned, turning to her with watery eyes. But they quickly diminished when she blanked a few times. “What if you’re content with where you are and what you have now?”

“As humans, we’re never content Sooyoung.” 

And Sooyoung knew she was right. 

_**//** _

Although it was hard to read Sooyoung, Joohyun felt like she was getting somewhere. Learning the way Sooyoung operated. It’d only taken a month. She laughed to herself thinking about that. Joohyun had been out of town for 2 weeks, she took a gig somewhere out of the country. But when she returned, Nayeon insisted they have a movie night together. Sooyoung didn’t understand why they were so infatuated with her and her time. 

They seemed to be outgoing, popular especially. They had other friends and people to hang out with, but they insisted on being with Sooyoung. She supposed this is what it was like to have more than 1 friend. She didn’t like the movie options too much, but she enjoyed them because she was with her friends. Nayeon seemed to really enjoy the movie “Frozen” and Joohyun would annoyingly sing a song about a snowman because she knew it annoyed Sooyoung. But in the end, they always laughed about it.

Nayeon was the first to fall asleep out of the three as they lay on the floor of Sooyoung’s living room together. They made a bed on it with thick blankets and pillows between the sofas. It was comfy, almost like they were in a little den together. 

“There’s a club about 30 minutes from here.” Joohyun began. “I’ve taken Nayeon before and she had a lot of fun. Although it wasn’t too fun holding her hair back all night.” They both laughed.

Sooyoung shook her head. “I’m not too big on things like that.. i’ve never been a fan of large gatherings…” 

“But you were in a choir?” Joohyun teased.

“Not the same!” Sooyoung whisper yelled, hearing Joohyun giggle beside her. “I’m surprised you even remember that.” 

“I remember everything.. I’m not that old ya know?” She teased once again, seeing Sooyoung slightly panic.

“No t-that’s not what I meant.” She quickly defended herself, growing jokingly annoyed when she heard Joohyun laugh once again.

“I’m just kiddinggggg.” She smiled. “But I get it. I’m not too big on crowds either. But I wouldn’t mind it, if I had a friend with me.” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Nayeon wanted to go paintballing.” Joohyun mentioned.

“Not a chance.” 

“I said the same.” Joohyun agreed as they both laughed. “Besides.. I’m too pale… I’ll be walking around with bruises the size of a baseball for over a week.” 

“Long sleeves are a thing.” Sooyoung responded sarcastically.

“I’m in L.A…” Joohyun rolled her eyes. “I just think it’d be good for you.. to just, let loose and have some fun. Dance and drink a bit.. They also serve these killer tacos there. You’d love it.” 

“Tacos at a club?” 

It’s a club and grill alright? You’d be surprised what this state has.” 

“I’m not complaining.” Sooyoung smiled. 

“Just let me know okay? I’ll gladly take you there.” 

“Thanks Joohyun.” 

“You’re welcome… now— I’m sick of seeing Nayeon sleeping peacefully so I’m going to do the same.” She smiled. “Goodnight Sooyoung.” 

“Goodnight Joohyun.” She replied, as she watched the woman turn the other way. She wanted to sleep, she really did, but her mind wouldn’t stop. She wished the world could keep going sometimes so she didn’t have a chance to sit and think. She wished sleep wasn’t essential, or eating or anything of the sort. She’d rather sit and have someone chatting her ears off all day, because at least she wouldn’t have a moment to think. To think about how this semi blissful bubble would soon be popped.

She was tired of living on edge, the anxiety eating away at her as she steadily waited to be outed by her ex-husband. Or her current husband. She really didn’t know what to refer to him as. She just knew he was trouble, and he had the potential to ruin her life. The potential to ruin Jinsoul’s life. Her family's life. It was too much on the line. 

She missed her brother, Minho, the most out of her family. The only one who ever truly listened to her. He hardly caused her problems, at least not now as adults. She wished he could hug her right now and give her his wisdom and thoughts. Or just hear him joking and messing with her. She missed Heejin, and she missed the twins… she missed Jungeun, despite only seeing her like 4 times. Their energies matched. She was a good friend to Jinsoul. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face her wrath though. 

But what she didn’t know was that Jinsoul spent every second of everyday thinking about her. Running Jungeun crazy with late night phone calls trying to narrow down the options to her whereabouts. She constantly met up with Minho for coffee or dinner that she gladly paid for. She wanted to make sure he was okay as well. She knew how close they were to each other and she knew how much they adored one another. She could see the worry in his eyes too whenever they met up. “She’ll come back. She always does.” Minho reassured the woman. “How’s the pregnancy coming along?” 

“Ah.. right.” Jinsoul laughed through teary eyes. “I’m uh… I’m kind of excited? I don’t know… it’s weird ya know?” 

“Yeah.. you’ve got a whole human forming in there. Like a turkey in the oven!” 

“Please don’t… ever… say that again.” Jinsoul begged as Minho laughed his ass off. “No I’m genuinely begging you.” She said again.

It was true, the pregnancy was coming along well. She’d agreed to keep it. Lucas had a point, but besides that, she felt like it was something she’s always wanted. Maybe not with Lucas in particular, but overall. Besides, it’d get her parents off of her back for awhile. Her decision grew stronger whenever she was out and about and would see kids playing, smiling at her and such. Or seeing a cute baby looking around inside of a stroller as she slowly passed them on her morning strolls. 

It’s not like she ever really hated the idea of having a child. She just didn’t expect it to be so soon, or like this.. 

It was so sudden, and truthfully, she almost wanted to get rid of it. But she realized life doesn’t stop for her or for anyone. She needed to live in the moment, although a part of her would love to have skipped to the part where she was in Sooyoung’s arms again. 

“Do you know if it's a girl? How cute would that be?!” Minho said brightly.

“Well… I find out in about a week when I go again.. I'll be 19 weeks..” She explained. 

“How’d the first appointment go?” 

“Uhh….” She began. “It was fine. Lucas was there the whole time and yeah. It was fine.” She said, partially telling the truth. Sure it was fine, but she’d much rather have Sooyoung there. She felt terrible though, being that way when the father of her child was being so supportive. It’s just… she _really_ wanted Sooyoung.

“So.. when do you plan on telling the public?” 

“In about 2 weeks?” She replied. “I’m kind of nervous.. to reveal this part of me… but Lucas said it’d be good.” 

“I mean yeah. I’m sure it’ll get speculations off your back for a bit.” Minho agreed.

“I just… I really wish I could tell Sooyoung ya know?” Jinsoul explained. “I just feel like I’m keeping this from her and the only time she’ll know is through the media.. how is that fair?” 

Minho reached a hand across the table and placed it gently onto Jinsoul’s. “It’s out of your control. It’s out of.. both of ours.. you can’t keep holding yourself back because of my sister though.. you’ll never be happy if you do that.” He explained, and Jinsoul shook her head.

“Am I supposed to just move on?” She questioned, obviously offended by his choice of words.

“Jinsoul that’s not what I’m saying—“

“It sure as hell seems like it is what you’re saying. But trust me, I really have been trying. But I can’t help but feel like I’ll never be as happy as I was with her again…” She sadly spoke as Minho held her hand. “I can’t just— _not_ hold myself back. When anything happens… good or bad, I want to tell her.. and I don’t even have the option anymore.” 

“I promise I’ll find her and get her back to us.” Minho said. 

“You promise?” 

“Yeah— I promise.”

* * *

**2 WEEKS LATER**

Lucas buttoned up his shirt and fixed his hair as Jinsoul sat on the bed, waiting patiently for him to finish. From the mirror, he could see her sulking in the background, looking down at the floor as she anxiously fiddled with her fingers. “Everything alright?” He questioned, walking over to her and sitting down beside her. 

She didn’t even lift her head. “Yeah it’s just— a big day I suppose.” She responded. 

“It’s just a Wednesday.” Lucas jokingly said, but he could tell it wasn’t cheering Jinsoul up very much. A part of him knew why, but he didn’t want to pry. And if he was wrong, he didn’t want to open any slowly healing wounds. “Everything will be fine.. I promise.” 

“Do you think she’s out there watching me somewhere?” She suddenly asked, turning to Lucas with teary eyes. He looked at her and sighed deeply.

“Yeah. I think so.” 

“Even 5 months after her disappearance?” 

“You think she stopped loving you in that short amount of time?” 

“Who knows…” She said, before hearing a knock on the door. It was Jinsoul’s parents. 

“Media is downstairs waiting for you all..” He said to Lucas.

“Okay, just give us a minute.” He asked, before shutting the door. “We have to go now. Are you sure you want to do this still?” 

Jinsoul sat in silence for a moment before gently nodding. Lucas smiled, helping her up. “Everything will be fine. We’ll finish this interview today, and in 2 days, we’ll figure out if I’m going to have a little football player.” 

“He’s not going to be a football player, he’s going to play soccer.” She responded. “And if not, _she_ will be a dancer.” 

“No we’ll just make her play football too.” Lucas said, making the both of them laugh. “What?! We have the money for it, if she wants to play football I’m letting her!” 

“You’re unbelievable.” Jinsoul playfully pushed him aside as they made their way downstairs. She could see the news van outside their home and the long wires making their way into the living room where the bright lights were aimed at the sofa. Lucas slowly walked beside her, holding her hand as they made their way inside. Smiling brightly and greeting everyone in the room. She sat down slowly as Lucas helped her, smiling brightly the whole time. 

“Such a beautiful couple.” The woman said as she sat in the chair beside them. “Ready whenever you are. I promise it’ll be nice and easy. We’ll ask some questions, get a few things out of you, and Jinsoul can reveal the surprise.” The woman smiled.

“Well, I think the surprise is going to reveal itself before we even can.” Lucas joked, referring to her baby bump. Jinsoul laughed along, playing the role of his wife. He turned to her, giving her a look that asked if she was ready. When she nodded, he turned back to the cameras. “I think we’re ready now.”

* * *

Sooyoung can’t remember exactly what she was doing in that moment, she just remembers just an hour before she told Joohyun she wasn’t going to go out with her that night. She had some laundry to do, and Nayeon was helping her job search recently, so she figured she’d focus on that. She thanked Joohyun for the invite though. 

“The way you and Nayeon operate, you’d think i’m the youngest out of us 3..” She teased, Sooyoung laughed when she said that, before going back to what she had to do. 

She doesn’t know if it was exactly something she wanted to be aware of or left in the dark about. Regardless, once she found out, he reaction would be the same. She was folding her laundry when the news felt the need to remind the world of the news that was shared 4 hours before. 

She didn’t really care too much about what was on the screen until she heard _”Not too long ago, the princess of South Korea announced she’s expecting!”_ Sooyoung instantly looked up at the screen, seeing the girl she missed so much on the screen talking to an interviewer about her pregnancy. 

Her initial reaction was shock, and then it turned to jealousy, and before she knew it she was sitting on the floor of her living room with tears threatening to leave her eyes. 

“We’re really excited, so we wanted to share this moment with the world.” She heard Jinsoul speak, her heart racing wildly at the sound of her voice. That low beautiful voice that she missed so much. She felt like she hadn’t heard it in forever. 

“It’s not like she’d be able to hide it much longer anyway.” Lucas playfully said, making everyone in the room laugh. The sound of Jinsoul’s laugh shook her to the core. She missed her more than anything. She had so many thoughts running through her mind, but the one that struck her the hardest was how badly she wanted to be there with Jinsoul in that moment. Although the thought of Jinsoul being pregnant with someone else’s child made her sick to her stomach, and full of anger… it hurt more than anything that she wasn’t there for it.

She was upset that she couldn’t hold her and hear her thoughts about whatever it is she needed to speak about. It hurt her to see her smiling and laughing with someone who wasn’t her, although she knew it was all for show. She still wished it was her right there, able to share a moment like that with the world beside the girl of her dreams. But that was a dream that could easily be crushed by the reality of everything around her. That despite the way the world worked, she was more terrified by those around her not accepting what she truly wanted, and who she truly wanted. 

The tears flowed freely now. Nearly 5 whole months without Jinsoul. Without Heejin or Minho. She couldn’t deny, it was really fucking hard keeping herself from talking to them. And whenever the urge was strong, she’d distract herself. Go out with Nayeon, or go out with Joohyun. 

She was stuck in that spot for what seemed like hours before she lifted herself up and walked to the bathroom. Her eyes red from the crying she did. She couldn’t explain the hurt she felt. Her emotions ranged from anger to sadness because in the end all she could do was blame herself. For leaving. 

She threw some water on her face and dried it quickly before stepping out and knocking on her neighbor’s door. At this point, she considered Joohyun a good friend. When the door opened, Joohyun was on the other side, putting in her earrings as she wore a tight black dress that exposed her shoulders a bit. “Everything alright?”

“Am I still allowed to tag along? I just need a bit of a distraction right now..” 

“Yes of course. We’re leaving in about 15 minutes so—“

“I’ll be ready.” Sooyoung said before stepping off.

“Wear something nice!” Joohyun yelled out before the door was shut. 

**_//_ **

“Didn’t know you had it in you…” Joohyun said as she looked Sooyoung up and down. She was wearing a dress as well with some flats. If she was going to be dancing and drinking, she really didn’t need to be in heels. Joohyun could barely keep her eyes off of the woman. She’d never seen Sooyoung so dressed up before. Anytime she ran into the other woman or hung out with her, she wore pants for the most part, and if they were lounging inside of their homes she wore shorts. So she couldn’t help but stare.

“I can dress up sometimes. Besides, I was _this_ close to wearing sweats until you told me to wear something nice.” 

“Well thank god for that.” Joohyun teased. “You can drive with us. This is my friend Chaeyoung, Sooyoung and Chungha.” She introduced kindly.

“Nice to meet you.” Sooyoung said. “My name is also Sooyoung. But I’m Choi Sooyoung. And you are…?”

“Ha… Sooyoung.” The girl answered.

“We’ll get along well. Sooyoung’s always get along. Right Chaeyoung?” 

“Why are you asking me? I’m not a Choi!” She pointed out.

“Oh righttt…. well! Let’s go have some fun!” 

**_//_ **

When they arrived, the place was packed as expected. It was a pretty popular place in L.A, so Joohyun expected that. It was also a grill too, she remembered her mentioning that, so she requested a table for them. Preferably in one of the booths. She liked where they sat, they could easily look out onto the dance floor while they enjoyed their drinks and such. Sooyoung immediately ordered food, the much taller Sooyoung… 

“If it helps you feel better, we call her SooSoo.” Joohyun mentioned as they overlooked the menu. 

“Yeah! Usually only for friends, but since we’re kinda in a schmuck right now, I guess I won’t mind you doing it too.” She smiled. “We definitely need a bottle of this!” 

“What is it?” Sooyoung questioned.

“Don’t worry about that. Just know you’re going to have a lot of fun tonight.” She smiled, waiting for their waiter to walk back over. Sooyoung sat back while they practically ordered everything. She knew she was going to get fucked up tonight. The good thing about this group, is that Chaeyoung wasn’t much of a drinker. So she would be the sober one out of them and she’d be able to drive them home if need be. 

It didn’t take long for the drinks to be brought to the table. 10 shots sat on a tray as the man winked at Joohyun, who didn’t pay him much attention. Sooyoung took note of that. “Who wants to take the first shot?” Soo questioned. 

“I think Sooyoung should. It’s her first time here.” Joohyun insisted. “Don’t be shy, if you want I’ll take one with you.” 

Sooyoung shook her head. “That won’t be needed.” She grabbed the shot and downed it, and instantly started coughing up a storm. Leaving the girls at the table in hysterics as Joohyun laughed along and patted her back. “Jesus what the fuck is that?!” 

“That, my friend, is called a fireball. But you’re korean, I expected you could handle one of those! They’re really not that bad!” Soo laughed.

“I’m not much of a drinker to be fair so…” 

“Fair enough. But tonight you should let loose. We’re spending a lot of money here!” 

Sooyoung listened to her as she held her hand on her chest, still trying to calm down from that “shot”. She’d much rather get stabbed than chug that down again. It wasn’t that it was very strong, but more so the flavor of it just wasn’t her cup of tea. “Don’t worry, if the shots aren’t for you, I can always purchase you some wine.” Joohyun smiled, downing a shot like it was nothing. Sooyoung couldn’t believe her eyes. 

“I’d like that… or really anything but whatever this is.” Sooyoung admitted.

As the night traveled on, Sooyoung had tried more alcoholic beverages than she could handle. But the feeling it gave her was enough to make her keep going. She wasn’t exactly drunk, not yet anyway, but to be fair the room did seem like it was moving a bit too much for her. Joohyun stood up and looked down at the girls. “Let’s go dance.” She insisted, and the other two girls groaned.

“We’re waiting for tacos!” Chungha complained.

“Unbelievable….” She rolled her eyes, turning to Sooyoung. “Wanna join me?” She questioned cutely, and Sooyoung didn’t see why she wouldn’t. She grabbed the hand that was reached out to her as Joohyun guided her to the dance floor. Her favorite thing about Joohyun was the space she provided her. She was never overbearing and she certainly didn’t do anything she knew Sooyoung didn’t want or was okay with it. She kept her distance for the most part, dancing and smiling at the girl in front of her. 

Sooyoung felt herself smiling for the first time that day as she watched Joohyun enjoying herself. Purposely doing ridiculous dances to cheer the taller girl up. 

“So, who is this new girl?” Chungha questioned as they watched the two dance together on the dance floor. “She just— came out of nowhere?” 

“Who knows.. she seems okay for the most part. Definitely not someone I would see Joohyun being friends with though.” Soo pointed out. “Definitely not a party girl.”

“Hey neither am I.” Chaeyoung pointed out. “Besides, I’m sure Joohyun isn’t just friends with some outsider. She seems nice, I like her.” She defended Sooyoung as the other two girls looked at each other. 

“I need another drink.” Chungha said immediately. 

The two girls were having the time of their life on the dance floor. Completely disregarding the people around them. They seemed to be in their own little world, just laughing and dancing wildly. Whipping their hair back and forth for no reason other than to be silly and extra. It was the first time in forever since Sooyoung was having fun. After some time she was sure the alcohol was making its way through her system. Because now she felt dizzy, too dizzy to keep standing up. “I think I need a moment.” She said loudly enough for Joohyun to hear over the music.

“Let’s go sit down for a bit.” She suggested, out of breath and following Sooyoung off the dance floor. Just as they were coming up the small staircase, the other three were coming down. 

“What?! We were just coming down to join you!” Soo complained, looking at the two of them. 

“We’ll join again in a bit.. we’re a bit tired right now.” Joohyun spoke up for the girl in front of her. “Go and have fun! We’ll watch you from our seats.” 

They shrugged and kept moving. “Don’t drink all of the D"usse!!!!” Soo yelled from behind them, and they both laughed. “I’m serious. It’s expensive!” She added as the other two girls pushed her forward. 

When Sooyoung finally sat down, she placed a hand on her head. The room was for sure spinning. She didn’t just imagine that. “You alright? I can get us some water if you need—“

“It’s fine.” Sooyoung assured, grabbing a glass from the table and pouring herself some D”usse. “Want some?”

“Sure.” The woman smiled, watching her friends on the dance floor as Sooyoung poured her a glass as well. “How are you feeling?” 

Sooyoung sighed deeply, taking a long sip of her drink. Wincing slightly at the beverage going down and laughing. “To be fair, it’s been a bit of a day..” She admitted, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go into much detail but.. the alcohol was betraying her.

“Wanna talk about it?” Joohyun gently encouraged her. 

She watched as Sooyoung finished what was in her glass and poured another. “I don’t even know where to start… it’s so much shit really but, there’s this person I had… have a thing with.. I found out they were expecting a child with someone else soon.” 

“How long did you have this ‘thing’ for?” Joohyun questioned. 

“Almost a year? Time flies.. I haven’t talked to them in months though…” 

“Is that on your own accord or…?” 

“It’s on me really. I kinda cut things off with them for a bit.” 

“And you expected them to wait around for you…?” 

Sooyoung sent a glare at Joohyun but she knew she was right. Her and Jinsoul weren’t necessarily an official thing. They acted like one, but they weren’t, and it was selfish of her to expect her to stop her life until Sooyoung was ready. “It’s complicated.” 

“I can see that.” Joohyun pointed out. “Do you love this person?” 

“More than anything. It just wasn’t the time for us. I don’t know if we’ll even have time for us.” Sooyoung shook her head before drinking some more. 

“Surely this person would wait for you if the feeling was mutual right?” Joohyun moved a bit closer so she could hear better. “I mean, a year is a lot of time to just toss aside.” 

“Yeah but in the end I’m to blame. I cut things off between us and cut communication as well. I should be happy for them.. but I feel the opposite…” She said truthfully. It was all complicated and fucked up. She should have seen this coming though. But she couldn’t help but think about how many times Jinsoul and Lucas slept together even after they practically confirmed they were a thing or something. It hurt to think about Jinsoul going back home to him and allowing him to touch her the way she does. It didn’t sit right with her.

But Jinsoul wasn’t hers, and it wasn’t her place. “Look— I don’t know much about you and your situation, but from what I’ve seen, from you as a person, you seem to care a lot about other people and what they think about you.” Joohyun pointed out. “So I’m sure you did this all for a reason. And trust me, if I found out my ex was pregnant all of a sudden after bothering me for some time… I’d be angry too.” 

“They’re not my— she’s not my ex.” Sooyoung finally let out. “I’m like.. in love with her. But our situation is complicated.. really complicated. So complicated, I don’t even think I can tell you even though I want to.” Sooyoung sighed.

“You don’t want to? Or you don’t want me to find out something I shouldn’t know?” Joohyun questioned and Sooyoung slowly turned to her with sad eyes. But she didn’t respond, Joohyun figured that was an answer alone. 

“Both.. no offense, I barely told a friend of mine of over 3 years about this situation. So I surely not going to—“

“Tell me.” Joohyun finished the sentence for her. “I get it. But I’d like to help.. in any way I can. You don’t have to deal with everything alone.. from the amount of alcohol you drank tonight, I can tell you have a lot on your mind.” 

“Are you sure you’re a dance teacher and not a therapist?” Sooyoung teased.

“Well to be fair I've taken a few courses of psychology in college.” She smiled. “I’m serious Sooyoung. I want to lend an ear to you from time to time if need be.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled, finishing her drink. “Thanks for listening..” 

“Any time.” 

_**//** _

As expected, Chaeyoung was the one driving them home that night. Both of the Sooyoung’s could barely stand and Chungha knocked out everywhere she possibly could. Even if that meant standing outside leaning against the car. It was quite ridiculous. Joohyun was just a bit sober enough to help Sooyoung up to her apartment. She tried to communicate with her on several occasions but she just mumbled or stared at her with glassy eyes. 

She made her way to the bathroom more times than Joohyun could count as well. Out of everyone, she and Chaeyoung were the most sober. So she helped Chaeyoung take care of the rest of them. She held Sooyoung’s hair back as she vomited into the toilet on numerous occasions. It wasn’t until around 4am where she finally stopped, at least for a while. She undressed her without looking for the most part, which was pretty difficult considering Sooyoung could barely stand on her own. But she tried. 

She gave her a shirt and some shorts, she managed to put the shirt on Sooyoung but the shorts proved to be a bit of a task after the 3rd attempt. So she gave up, letting Sooyoung knock out on her bed. She shook her head as she waited a few minutes before leaving her alone. She put her hair up into a ponytail as she got herself together. Once she was done in the bathroom she went out into her living room to check on the girls. They were all fast asleep for the most part. Even Chaeyoung had knocked out on the sofa. She grabbed a glass of water and took some painkillers for the headache she felt sneaking up on her. She scolded herself for doing that, knowing she had to be up the next day to go to the dance studio.

When she returned to her room, she expected Sooyoung to be fast asleep, so she turned the lamp light off and got under the blankets. “Joohyun?” She heard the girl call, and her eyes instantly opened back up as she turned to face her. “Have you ever been in love?” 

Joohyun felt herself wince away from the question, but it was clear Sooyoung needed some words of advice. “Yes.” 

“Have you ever been in love.. and made really selfish decisions?” 

“Yes..” 

“Would you consider them bad decisions?” 

Joohyun had no idea what to really say without possibly being opinionated. But she tried. For Sooyoung. “Uhh… I wouldn’t necessarily say they’re bad decisions.. you just do what you think is right in that moment. It could be bad, but if it felt right to you, then who is anyone else to judge?” 

She sighed deeply. “I think I made a bad decision…” 

“Is it bad because you think you hurt her in the process?” 

“I _know_ I hurt her in the process… it was so selfish..” She spoke slowly and softly. It was almost hard for Joohyun to hear. “Remember how I said things are pretty complicated?” 

“Yes. I do remember.” Joohyun said.

“Well.. the girl I had a thing with has a husband.” Sooyoung admitted. “And so do I…” 

Joohyun was frozen. “Well….. this changes everything…” 

“Arranged marriages are a killer.” 

“Ah.. well in that case—“

“I ran away from home. Because of the arranged marriage… I needed to get out of there, and I think I made a horrible decision… because if the world finds out I cheated on some rich dude—“

“You won’t hear the end of it.” Joohyun looked at her sympathetically. She reached her arms out for Sooyoung, allowing the girl to lay her head on her stomach as she sat up and moved her hair from her face softly. “The world is unfair. It really is. I personally don’t think you did anything wrong… yeah, you could’ve gone about it differently, but you were afraid. What’s wrong with being afraid?” 

“I left behind everything at the drop of a dime.. it was stupid. And impulsive.” Sooyoung said tiredly. 

“But you’ve had time to reflect and you at least admit where you went wrong. It’s a start… you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself for being afraid and wanting an out.” Joohyun reassured her. 

“That’s not the part I’m hard on myself about.” She admitted. “It’s leaving her behind with no hope for a future with me..”

* * *

Jinsoul often hoped that they’d find each other again. That this was some weird malfunction in the system. The system of hope that she held onto. But maybe she was being just a bit too hopeful. Thinking that this was just some strange detour in her and Sooyoung’s life and that they’d find their way back to each other once again. She really did hope, especially in that moment as she held Lucas’ hand tightly as the doctor looked on the monitor beside them. 

“Baby looks healthy…” He pointed out, checking around for anything else. The liquid on her stomach was a bit cold, but she would manage. “Ah.. would ya look at that.” He smiled. “You’ve got a little boy on the way.” 

“I-It’s a boy?” Jinsoul questioned, slightly lifting her head to take a look. 

“Mhm. Congratulations Mrs. Jung.” He smiled again, and she let out a deep breath. Lucas held her hand tightly.

“He’s definitely playing football.” Was all he said, thinking it’d make Jinsoul laugh but it did the opposite. She felt tears nearly leaving her eyes. But she held back, at least until this appointment was over.

“I’ll be seeing you again in about 2 weeks to check if everything is okay again. Remember, you’re getting further along in your pregnancy. You have to take care of yourself.” The doctor explained. “But from the looks of it, you have a good support system.” He pointed out, referring to Lucas.

“Yeah.. thank you Dr.” She softly said as she turned away and walked off. She waited in the waiting room for Lucas as he talked to the doctor.

“She hasn’t been under any unnecessary stress has she?” 

“Uh… define stress…” Lucas replied as the doctor spoke lowly to him.

“Her blood pressure was pretty high while we checked her vitals. I advise you to keep her calm for the time being, tell her to relax here and there and not to put too much strain on herself.” He informed the taller man. “It’s not good on the baby, or her in the long run.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you doctor.” Lucas smiled, shaking his hand and walking off. 

Lucas helped Jinsoul to the car and the way back home was filled with silence. Jinsoul looked out the window for the most part, her hand resting on her belly. “You okay?” Lucas asked as he took quick glances over at her as he drove. “Are you hungry? We can stop—“

“I just want to go home Lucas.” She sternly said, not even looking in his direction. He nodded, although she wasn’t paying much attention to him. 

Once they got home, Jinsoul went straight upstairs to their room. She didn’t have much of an appetite surprisingly, considering she had another human inside of her. But Lucas begged her to eat something, even if it was small. She agreed to it, but she didn’t force herself for much longer. She took a quick shower, as quick as it could be before getting back into bed. She felt exhausted. She lay in bed facing away from the man with a pillow beneath her stomach for support. “Wanna talk about it?” He questioned, soothingly rubbing her arm.

“I just wish—“ She started. “I wish I could share this news with her… it should be an exciting day for me… but all I can think about is her.” Jinsoul confessed, and although it hurt Lucas to hear, he understood. He just didn’t know how to help. He didn’t know how to stop this hurting. 

“I’m sorry..” 

“Yeah… I’m sorry too.” 

“For what?” 

“Probably ruining your day with my broken heart… the usual.” She sighed deeply and Lucas immediately moved to comfort her.

“Look— I can’t lie and say it’s not a slap in the face sometimes… but you’re going through a heartbreak… like true genuine heartbreak. You’re reacting how anyone would in your position..” He explained. “I love you, and I get it. I really do.. but you can’t keep letting her get to you like this.” 

Jinsoul immediately sat up. “I don’t need this lecturing..” She said angrily, grabbing a pillow.

“Jinsoul stop it—“

“You don’t know what it’s like!” She yelled at him, stopping him from moving any further. “I-I feel like I can’t breathe. I can barely sleep, and the only reason I fucking eat is because this hungry boy inside of me. I can’t do anything without _thinking_ of _her_... she’s everywhere, even when I don’t want her to be.” 

“You’re healing..” Lucas tried to comfort her.

“What if she’s the only person who can truly heal me?” She questioned with tears in her eyes. “How am I supposed to move past this? Just move on? Have a child? And then what? Pretend i’m in love with you for the rest of my days?” 

That hurt. But she was right, her delivery was just wrong, and she noticed immediately. “Look I—“

“It’s fine. You’re right. You don’t have to pretend to be in love with me. But I’d appreciate it if you started treating me like a fucking human being again.” He grabbed the pillow from her hand. “You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch. You’re pregnant, I’m not allowing you to sleep anywhere else if it's not in that bed.” He said, just before slamming the door shut in her face. 

She cried even more that night. Stupid fucking hormones. She called Jungeun that night, sharing the news. “I’m going to have a nephew!” She excitedly said over the phone, smiling to herself as she ate some popcorn. Obnoxiously chewing in Jinsoul’s ear. “Have you thought of a name yet?” 

“Nope. Haven’t even started thinking yet.” She admitted.

“What are you waiting for then?!” Jungeun questioned and Jinsoul sadly laughed.

“It’s just been a day.” She sadly said.

“Alright. Who’s ass do I have to kick now besides the obvious one?” She questioned, placing her popcorn bowl down and sitting up on her couch. 

“Mine I guess.” Jinsoul laughed. “I just can’t stop thinking about her you know? I feel horrible about it but… the second the doctor told me it was a boy, I looked to my left expecting Sooyoung to be there…”

“I assume you were greatly disappointed when it wasn’t.” Jungeun jokingly said.

“Very… but I can’t keep being angry at Lucas for being here when she’s not… it’s not fair to him. It’s not his fault.” She shook her head, placing a hand on it and running it down her face.

“Then I think you know what you need to do. But a start would be apologizing for him, because knowing how your hormones are all jacked, he’s probably sleeping outside of the room for the 10th time this month.” She teased.

Jinsoul laughed at that, it made her heart warm knowing Jungeun was always there for her. “Are you excited to be an aunt?” Jinsoul questioned as she looked down at her stomach. Suddenly feeling a kick and wincing in pain. “Well… looks like he might be a bit excited to have one..” 

“Kicking again?” Jungeun questioned.

“Yeah. He’s very random with his attacks.. it’s always fun seeing it though.” 

“He probably wants you to shut up and go to bed.” Jungeun smiled. “But yeah.. I’m very excited.. to not just be an aunt but to drive you crazy whenever I spoil him.” 

“I promise you won’t be the only one spoiling him when the day comes..” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be right in that boat with you.” 

“Then we’ll ride it till the motor stops.” 

“I’m not that great of a swimmer.” Jinsoul admitted.

“Neither am I. But we’ll figure it out. _Together_ ”.

* * *

Jinsoul was sure the biggest blow to her was the baby shower that took place. She was grateful for everyone there. The gifts, the people, the love and care she received. She enjoyed seeing familiar faces for once in the crowd of people. But no matter who she saw, it didn’t matter if she didn’t see that one familiar face. She knew it was completely insane to expect her to walk through that door suddenly. But she spent most of the day imagining it. 

She was sure it wasn’t good for her mental state, but she couldn’t help it. It was the only thing keeping her going. It wasn’t too long now until the baby would be coming. They still hadn’t decided on a name, but Jinsoul had some in mind. But she just couldn’t settle no matter what. Lucas insisted on naming him “Lucas Jr.” but she told him that was boring and too traditional. She was anything but traditional. 

“We’ll figure it out.” She said that night as they wrote names left and right and crossed out multiple. She even looked to Minho for help, but he was no use either.

“Name him Minho. Easy. He’ll be a handsome young guy just like me!” He smiled, and Lucas agreed.

“Men are so useless..” Jinsoul sighed exasperatedly. 

Jungeun walked over to her with a slice of cake. “I’ve never tasted cake like this before in my life. Maybe rich people do have taste after all.” She said, smothering the piece into her mouth. Jinsoul looked at her with disgust. 

“It’s just cake Jungeun.”

“Rich cake.” She corrected. “Anyone talk to you about a name yet? I’m sure at least 5 people asked.”

“4… actually. But their names just weren’t it for me either.. I’m sure I’ll figure it out. I still have some time left ya know?” 

“Why do I feel like you’re the type to wait until the possible last second to come up with a name?” Jungeun questioned, using a napkin to wipe her face.

“That… won’t happen.” She said, but she didn’t seem too sure herself. The door opened again and she felt her heart drop at the sight of the man she didn’t expect to see since _that_ night. He scanned the room with a box in his hands, obviously looking for Jinsoul or someone familiar. “Shit… what the fuck is he doing here?” She questioned and Jungeun turned in the direction she looked at.

“Not this asshole….” 

“Do you need me to handle him?” She heard Minho ask not even moments after. She doesn’t even know where he came from, but she could see the look in his eyes. Like he was ready to attack, as if he was waiting for this moment forever. 

“No… it’s fine. I’ll go and talk to em.” 

“Now wait a second basketball girl.” Jungeun said, referring to her stomach. “We don’t know this guy’s intentions here. I’m not letting you walk over there alone.” 

“Jungeun he isn’t going to do anything to me in a room full of people.” She assured.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t like his vibe.” 

“You never like anyone’s vibe.” 

“Not true.” She defended herself. “Look, if you need anything you look over here once and we’ll come running. Got it?” 

“I agree with her.” Minho said, standing beside them both.

“Okay.” Jinsoul said, walking through the crowd of people. She had to make a few stops, people wanting to see her baby bump. Smiling at her and throwing her loving glances as she walked by them. They seemed to be enjoying the cake at least. “Rowoon?” 

He quickly turned to her, looking down at the much shorter woman. “Oh Jinsoul… I just came to drop a gift off.. it’s nothing big… just a little toy car.” 

“He won’t be able to play with that you know?” 

He scratched the back of his neck. “Uh.. maybe one day he will.” He explained. “Look— I’m not looking for any trouble.” 

“You sure about that?” She questioned, grabbing the toy from him. “How did you even get here?”

“Well you’re not too hard to find. You’re kind of a big thing around here.” He said. “Look I’m not looking for any trouble, I really just wanted to bring you a gift for the kid. See how you were doing.” 

“I’m surprised you give a fuck.” 

“Well I didn’t expect you to be holding up too well considering the circumstances. So I came to give my best wishes.” He said in a snarky tone.

“What are you even talking about?” She questioned.

“Look— you’re not the only person who misses Sooyoung alright? So yeah… I just came to check on you.” He said, looking down at her stomach. He moved closer and whispered into her ear slightly. “Good luck with the pregnancy. Stress isn’t good on the baby.” He said, before looking around and walking off. She felt shivers down her spine, and not in a good way. She doubted he was capable of doing anything but the sinister tone in everything he said still shook her to the core. She walked over to the gift table and tossed it on top of the other toys she was given for the baby.

“What’d he say?” Minho quickly walked up to her. 

“Just told me good luck with the pregnancy.” She lied.

“You sure that’s all he said? I mean, you were over there for a bit—“

“Minho please. If he said anything worrying I would have told you okay? Please relax, you’re driving me fucking crazy right now.” She snapped, and he backed off. He watched as she walked away to find Lucas over across the room.

“Pregnant chicks and their hormones dude.” Jungeun said. “It’s nice seeing her do it to someone who isn’t me though.” 

“Yeah. I bet.” Minho said, shaking his head as he watched Jinsoul with a worried look on his face.

* * *

Within weeks, Jinsoul’s mood deteriorated. She went from being excited to just wanting the little fucker out of her body already. The pains got worse and the heartache didn’t fade away. Every passing day that went by she prayed Sooyoung would show up and be there for her during the pregnancy. Lucas didn’t want to shoot down her hope, but he knew it was a longshot. If Sooyoung didn’t come back when they announced the pregnancy, what made her think she’d come back now? It hurt him to see, but that’s just how things were. 

So despite her snapping on him nearly everyday the week leading up to her being in labor, he stayed by her side. He understood where her anger and hurt was coming from, and she needed _someone_. For now, he’d be that someone. The day before her pregnancy, she was experiencing contractions. They were painful, but she wasn’t ready. She tried every possible source to get into contact with Sooyoung and it didn’t work. It wasn’t until later that night, where she was leaning against a wall and crying out for Lucas downstairs. 

She felt the liquid rushing down her legs as she tried to find the strength to call out his name. “Lucas—“

He was watching a game on television when he heard his name being called. “Jinsoul?” He called out, seeing her laying on the floor at the top of the steps. He immediately ran upstairs. “Jinsoul what’s wrong?”

“My water broke.” She simply said, and he looked down and felt himself nearly go into a state of panic. 

“Um! Okay! Uh— what do I do?!” 

“I think this is the part where you take me to the hospital…” She looked at him like he was crazy. “Fuck—“ She groaned, the pain becoming unbearable. 

“Okay! Just um! Give me a second okay? Just one second, I need to find my shoes.” He jumped over her and then turned back around. “Sorry.” He said, helping her sit up and leaning her against the wall. 

She winced in pain as she felt her body overheating and sweat forming on her forehead. When he ran back, he slipped, landing on his back. “Jesus christ Lucas.” 

He groaned, holding his head and slowly getting up. “Look, I forgot your baby juices are all over the damn floor. It’s dark right here.” He explained, helping her up as he felt his shirt slightly soaked. Thankfully he probably had an extra one in his car. 

It didn’t take him long to begin speeding to the nearest hospital, placing her in a wheelchair and yelling at the receptionist that she was going into labor. 

Everything happened so quickly, before she knew it, Jungeun and Minho were also there. Jinsoul and Lucas’ parents were on the way. He called them on the way there. The other two who were present waited anxiously in the waiting room. 

It was 8 long excruciating hours of labor before the baby finally decided he wanted to come out. Her screams could be heard throughout the entire ward, which they sectioned off for the most part. She held Lucas’ hand tightly as tears formed in her eyes and sweat dripped down the side of her head slowly. “Fuck— It hurts so bad— I can’t do it…” 

“You can! You can do it okay! You gotta be strong!” He encouraged, holding her hand tighter than she was holding his. It was almost like he was the one giving birth right now.

“On the count of three, I need you to give me a bigggg push okay?” The doctor guided, and Jinsoul nodded. She was given medicine for the pain, but it honestly wasn’t doing much it seemed like. But probably because this was one of the most unbearable pains in the world. She’d never felt anything like it. No amount of reading up on it, and pregnancy books could describe this pain. But she pushed, and she held Lucas’ hand tightly as she did. 

For once, her brain was on something that wasn’t the woman who had caused her so much distress. The woman could see the top of the babies head now, and she encouraged Jinsoul to push a bit more. “We can see his little head now! You’re doing a great job! On the count of three, you push again. Got it?” 

Jinsoul nodded as she held her eyes closed, squeezing his hand once again and pushing. The sounds of her straining causing Lucas distress. “You got it. Come on hun.” He tried to encourage, placing his hand on her head and pushing her hair from out of her face.

“One, two—“ The doctor guided. “Push!”

Jinsoul did as she was told, pushing as hard as she could. Her body in so much pain she felt like she’d faint any second now. She screamed loudly. “Shit! This hurts!” She groaned, her head falling back onto the bed.

“Hold on— we’ve got a problem.” The doctor suddenly said, the other doctors coming and helping as well. 

“What?” Lucas quickly questioned as Jinsoul sat up slightly and looked around with a panic. 

“What’s going on?” Jinsoul questioned.

“Scissors.” She ordered. 

“What? What’s going on?!” She questioned once again, her heart rate going up.

“Ma’am I know you’re scared. But I need you to _calm down_. The cord is wrapped around the babies neck and we’re trying to get it under control now.” She explained. “It’s wrapped a bit too tight so we’re going to need to clamp the cord and cut it before you push out the shoulders okay?” 

“O-Okay… is he going to be okay?!” 

“Ma’am, breatheeeee.” The woman tried to calm her. “Everything will be fine. These things happen, but that’s what we’re here for.” She began to cut the umbilical cord, moving it from the babies neck and giving a nod to the nurses around her. 

“Hey look at me. Everything is fine.” Lucas assured her. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise. These doctors know what they’re doing, and I’ll be here with you throughout the entire thing.” He smiled. “Now let's get this baby out of you yeah?”

“Agreed.” Jinsoul said through gritted teeth.

“Alright. We unwrapped the cord, now we need to get this baby out of you alright?” The doctor said. “Now we’re almost there, not too long to go. I just need you to take deep breaths, and push when I tell you to.” 

“Okay. Please stop talking, I have a babies head sticking out of me and I really hate it so please—“ Jinsoul begged and Lucas nearly laughed in that moment. 

“You heard the lady. What’s next?” He agreed, prompting the woman to continue.

“On three, you know what to do.” The woman said. “One, two—“ 

And Jinsoul sat up to push, the shoulders feeling like the hardest part to push out. Her body nearly locked up from the pain but she pushed through. It was an excruciating hour. “Almost there!” The woman encouraged her. “One last push. I need you to push hard for me okay?” 

“Squeeze my hand.” He said to her, and she nodded before closing her eyes and pushing so hard she let out a guttural groan. It made Lucas nearly cry from seeing the amount of pain she was in. 

The baby slipped out, but there was no crying. “I-Is that supposed to be happening?” Jinsoul questioned as she rested on the bed. Her body was too weak to yell or even keep her head up. “What’s going on?”

“Hey what’s wrong with our son?!” Lucas let go of her hand to run after the doctors that quickly rushed the baby to another room. But they held him back, telling him to stay put. 

“Sir, everything will be fine—“

“Why isn’t he crying?? What are they doing to him?!” The man who held him back wasn’t strong enough to hold the taller man back from running down the hall. But before they knew it, they heard a scream so loud the man looked back at him. 

“I think that’s your baby boy..” He smiled behind his mask. 

Lucas let out a relieved sigh, and turned back to Jinsoul. Kissing the back of her hand. “Everything is going to be fine..” 

It took another 10 minutes before they could see the baby. The doctors wanted to make sure his breathing was okay, since he did come out not doing that. But when they returned him, they slightly wiped the blood from his body and wrapped him in a cute blanket. “Would you like to see your son?” The doctor asked.

“Yes.. yes please.” Jinsoul smiled tiredly, the boy was placed in her arms gently. And she felt tears forming as she looked down at him. “He has the cutest little brown eyes…” She laughed through her tears.

Lucas didn’t even know what to say, he just kept smiling at the boy in Jinsoul’s arms. He pushed her hair back gently as he pressed a kiss onto her forehead. “You did it..” He smiled. “I’m so proud of you…” 

“Have you named him just yet?” The woman asked. 

“No… we haven’t. We can’t decide on a name..” 

“I think I have one.” Jinsoul interrupted as she looked down at his brown eyes. A smile on her face as she used her finger to gently caress his face. “Soobin… His name is Soobin.”

* * *

“He’s a beautiful little guy…” Minho smiled as Jinsoul rested on the sofa beside him. “Look at those eyes…” He pointed out.

“Prettiest little brown eyes you’ve ever seen right?” Lucas pointed out from behind him, looking down at the baby from the angle he was on. 

Minho couldn’t help but feel like the eyes reminded him of his own sisters. They were a hypnotizing brown for sure. Captivating and ones that made your heart skip a beat. Once the baby started crying, Minho gave him back to his mother. “That’s my que to go.” He laughed. “I really enjoyed seeing the little guy. But I’ve gotta go to work. And hey— make sure she rests.” He said to Lucas as he waved goodbye to Jinsoul. 

Lucas could tell she was worn out. I mean, she did just give birth not even 2 days ago. She was exhausted, and although she badly wanted to pay attention to Soobin, she could barely keep her eyes open at the moment. Lucas noticed immediately, grabbing the baby from her tight grip. “I’ll take care of him… you need to get some rest alright? Come on.” He put an arm out for her to grab onto as he helped her upstairs. The baby was still in his arms. Jinsoul didn’t even undress, she just plopped into bed and her eyes closed. 

She drifted off to sleep without even saying goodnight. Lucas made sure Soobin was fed before he rocked him gently to bed. He put him in the crib that rested closely by their bed and also attempted to sleep. For the most part, Soobin slept through the night with no problem. It was the mornings that had driven Lucas crazy. But eventually Jinsoul came around again. Those next two weeks she was awake with him day and night. Lucas rested well at least. She’d often fall asleep on the couch with him resting comfortably in her arms. 

She couldn’t help but look down at his tiny face. His cute little mouth slightly opened as he slept peacefully in his mom’s arms. His body was so warm and she had a hard time ever letting him go because she had gotten so attached to that feeling he provided. A sense of security. She nearly teared up looking at his innocent little face. 

She was obsessed with his brown eyes. They reminded her so much of Sooyoung’s pretty eyes. “You’re going to be a real heartbreaker..” Jinsoul said, gently kissing his forehead and holding him close. When she woke up, he wasn’t in her arms anymore. Instead he was asleep in his crib that they had built for the living room. They needed one for the upstairs and downstairs of the large home. 

She could smell breakfast being cooked and she slowly got up, stretching her limbs. “Hey you’re awake finally. You know Heejin is on her way right?” 

“Shit.. that’s today?” 

“Yeah.. she’s about 10 minutes away. You confirmed she could come over to see Soobin just last night.” Lucas reminded her.

“Right. Sorry.. I’ve just been a bit out of it lately.” She explained, walking past him and up the stairs. While she got ready, Heejin arrived, and was nicely greeted by Lucas.

“Sorry she’s upstairs getting herself together. She’s been pretty exhausted recently. But Soobin is in here, he just woke up actually… I was just about to feed him.” Lucas smiled, guiding her to the living room. She placed her bag down onto the sofa and walked over to the crib. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the cute baby staring back up at her. Her heart nearly bursted in her chest as she gently picked him up in her arms. 

He started crying immediately. “Oh no…” Heejin said, cutely coddling the baby while Lucas ran off to make a bottle. He checked to make sure it wasn’t too hot before giving the bottle to Heejin. Who gladly sat down on the sofa to feed him. She looked at him as he instantly began drinking the warm milk. “He’s beautiful.” 

“Right?” Lucas smiled, leaning in the doorway of the living room. He was gently pushed aside when Jinsoul finally showed up, she noticed Heejin and smiled instantly. It’d been a few months since she last saw her. Although they talked pretty often.

“Heejin.. it’s so great to see you.” Jinsoul hugged her as best as she could given the circumstances. “I heard him crying but I see you got it under control.” 

“Um actually—“ Lucas began before both of the girls turned to him with a glare on their faces. “I’ll go check on breakfast.” He walked off quickly.

“He’s such a beautiful boy.. look at those eyelashes.” Heejin pointed out. “Such pretty brown eyes too.” 

“Right? Lucas and I were obsessed with them. They’re so pretty, and he’s got the most adorable little cheeks in the entire world.” She smiled, watching as the baby looked up at Heejin while he drank his milk happily. 

Heejin kept looking, smiling to herself as she noticed an uncanny resemblance in his eye shape and color. But she kept it to herself, and she was sure it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But Jinsoul could see the way she looked and how her facial expression slowly changed the longer she looked. “You see her in him too huh?” She suddenly asked, and Heejin turned to her with those soft eyes.

“What?”

“Sooyoung? The eyes… I see it too. I thought I was going crazy but…”

“Jinsoul I—“

“It’s fine. I get it.” She smiled reassuringly.

Heejin smiled back, turning to the boy once again. “I thought I was going crazy too.. those eyes are one of a kind but here I am… seeing them again on someone else.” She pointed out sadly. “I really miss her..” 

“Me too.” 

“Has Minho found out anything yet?” 

“He may have a lead. But we’re unsure of it just yet. Besides, it’s more of a guess than anything… he’s narrowed it down and he’s pretty sure she isn’t even in Korea anymore.” 

“Thailand?” 

“Nope.. not even on this side anymore.. he was thinking maybe the states? It’s a big country… she could be anywhere.” 

“Damn the country. It’s a huge world… I just can’t believe she’s missing out on something this magical..” Heejin pointed out. “No offense.” 

“None taken.” Jinsoul laughed. “I can’t believe it either. I’ve been holding it together but sometimes I catch myself crying again… I just— I didn’t think I’d be going through such a big moment in my life without her here to witness it ya know?” 

“I understand. But don’t lose hope. That girl loved you dearly… she can’t stay away forever.” Heejin assured her. “Whenever she spoke about you… it was like you put the stars in the sky every night..” 

Jinsoul immediately blushed hearing Heejin say that. “It’s just… I’ll be okay some days and then this overwhelming ache in my heart just hits me again, and I can’t function and I fall apart.” Jinsoul explained. “I’ve never felt anything like it… It hurts so bad that I just want it all to stop.” 

“Have you figured it out?” Heejin questioned. “How to make it stop?” 

“By moving on..” Jinsoul quietly said, afraid that if she said the words too loud she’d start to actually believe them. 

“Do what you think is right.”

“Everyone says that. But how do you know what’s right and what’s wrong? I could choose to move on now and she’d show up in a week… this feeling— these _feelings_ are never ending..” She sadly spoke. “What Sooyoung made me feel, I don’t think I’ll ever feel that again.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“If Hyunjin left you, would you say the same thing you’re saying to me now?” 

Heejin turned to her quickly. “It’s different and you know that.” She quickly defended. “We have kids together, we’re married.” 

“My point is, you won’t just move on and expect to find love in someone else. You don’t just move on from that love you had. You yearn for it. You’re afraid you’ll never find it again, so you run back to what’s comfortable. Am I wrong?” 

Heejin didn’t reply. “Jinsoul— I just don’t think waiting around for her is healthy for you… you have a kid now. That’s a big responsibility. You need to be mentally here for not only him, but yourself too.. I love Sooyoung to death.” She frowned. “But this– it’s not good for you, and you know it.” 

“But you see Heejin, that’s the thing… I can’t stop waiting for her even if I tried.”

* * *

Minho made his way down that familiar dark alley where he was pushed inside to meet his boss. He shrugged the guards off of him as he turned to Mingyu. “Got the cash?” He questioned, smoking a cigar and blowing the smoke in Minho’s direction.

“I did.” He said, tossing it onto the table. “You promised me you’d give me a 50% cut this time if I sold all of it. I did it.” 

Mingyu chuckled, turning to the guy that stood beside him. “Count that for me. Make sure it’s exactly $30,000. If it’s anything above or below that, I’m going to kick your ass.” 

“We had a deal.” Minho stood up for himself.

“We did. And I made myself clear— the deal only comes into play if you do what I ask of you and I receive my cash in full. I made myself clear. Didn’t I make myself clear?” He questioned the guy beside him.

“You absolutely did boss.” He cosigned as he counted the money. Minho watched him with an annoyed expression.

“Look— I really need this money.”

“You think you’re the only fucking person in this room that needs money?” Mingyu questioned. “Don’t get ahead of yourself here. You work for _me_. Don’t fucking come in here making demands and shit.” 

“I wasn’t—“

“Stop talking. I don’t think you’ve ever talked this much. Your voice is fucking annoying.” 

“You’re 300 short boss.” The man said, and he Mingyu immediately turned to Minho. He slowly put out his cigar in the ash trash in front of him, before standing up. 

“Look, I just sold the drugs like you asked and took the money.” Minho quickly said, watching as Mingyu walked over to him. He looked him in the eye before laughing. 

He reached behind himself before pulling out a gun. He waved it in front of Minho. “Ever used one of these before?” 

“N-No.” Minho truthfully said. 

He pulled out the clip and checked the amount of bullets inside of it. “I once told you that I don’t fuck around with my money. All of you in this room aren’t the only people with wants and needs.” He explained. “And I told you, I won’t hesitate to kill someone who fucked around with my money. Am I correct?” He waved the gun aimlessly in front of Minho, who stood anxiously.

“Yes.” Minho replied shortly.

“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” He smiled. “In that case, I want you to go back to the fucker you gave my drugs to and get them back.” 

“What? How do you expect me to do that?” Minho questioned as he looked at the man like he was insane.

“You take back what’s mine.” He said, and he realized Minho still wasn’t catching on. “You kill him.” 

“Are you fucking— you’re joking right?” Minho laughed, looking around. “Come on— he’s joking right?” But nobody was laughing, and neither was Mingyu.

“When have I ever joked around about my money?” 

“Hey I don’t know how to use a gun. I’m not going to _kill_ anyone. Come on, that’s ridiculous. I told you I didn’t want to be a part of all that shit man.” Minho backed away.

“Okay. That’s fair. But here’s what’s going to happen if you don’t do it— I’ll go to your house and kill everyone in your family.” 

Minho snickered. “You’re full of shit.” He said, standing up to Mingyu. 

Mingyu sighed, before turning around and putting a bullet right into the guy who just counted his money’s head. The guards didn’t even flinch but the others moved aside as his blood pooled onto the ground. “Holy shit you… you—“

“Don’t fuck around with me Minho. I won’t hesitate to put a bullet between the eyes of everyone you’ve ever known. Get my fucking drugs, and the rest of my money. Or you’ll be on the floor with your brain splattered everywhere just like this fucking idiot.” He handed him the gun. “Handle it.” 

_**//** _

The moment Minho stepped outside he threw up onto the sidewalk. His eyes watering and his hands shaking as he looked down at the gun in his hand. He quickly tucked it into the back of his pants and pulled his hoodie down over it. Spitting a few times to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth. He anxiously walked to his car the entire way, his hands shaking as he dropped his keys onto the floor from shaking so much. 

He didn’t have much of a choice. It was kill or be killed, quite literally. It was still late in the night, so he figured he should do what he had to do now. It gave him time to catch the guy he sold the drugs to. He wouldn’t be leaving out of town anytime soon. It’d only been about 4 hours since he saw him. The entire drive there he had tears in his eyes. 

He was angry with himself for even getting into this shit. But he needed money. His family needed money. He was sure there were plenty of other alternatives, but this was the quickest way possible. Especially with everything going on. Rowoon cut off the money supply to their parents, so their father picked up another job. Which meant he was juggling 3 now. He was constantly exhausted. Constantly getting drunk whenever he could and coming home yelling at their mother and his sisters. He hated it. He hated it all. He hated Sooyoung’s absence even more though.

She was the only person who could talk him out of this stupid shit. But she wasn’t here, and despite being her older brother, she sometimes made the better decisions. And he knew in this moment, he could really use her advice. When he arrived at the buyers house again, he parked a bit further away from the home. Not wanting to draw attention to himself. He turned off the car, and looked in the mirror. 

It was dark outside. Too dark, and quiet. He had to do this. His palms were sweaty. “God if you’re real…. please forgive me for what I’m about to do.” He said, opening his eyes and exhaling deeply. He put on a black ski mask and got out of the car, closing the door quietly as he walked up the side of the house. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself by walking straight to the front door. 

He found another way in, creeping around until he found a window that was slightly opened. It was obvious he forgot to shut it completely, leaving just enough space for Minho’s fingers to slip underneath and open it. Once it was opened, he peaked around, making sure there was nothing in the way and then he jumped inside, landing as lightly as he possibly could. 

He could hear a tv on, coming from the living room he assumed. He pulled out the gun shakily, breathing in and out as he walked down the hall to the living room. From what he knew, the buyer lived alone. His brother was out of town. Mingyu told him this. So he didn’t have anyone else to worry about hopefully. The man was watching something on tv, it looked like a game show and he seemed to be very into it. Shouting at the tv and yelling at the contestants when they got something wrong.

Minho stood behind him and put the gun to the back of his head. “I don’t want to hurt you, but if you try anything stupid I’ll kill you. Where’s the rest of the money you owe Mingyu?”

“Hey man.... I gave you all of it.” He said, trying to convince Minho. 

“Bullshit. Mingyu said he was $300 short. Give me the rest, and I’ll be on my way.” He threatened.

“How can I be so sure you won’t kill me either way?” 

Minho didn’t reply, his hand shaking terribly as he held the gun up to the guys head. It didn’t take long for him to catch onto the taller guy's nervousness. Obviously he’d never done something like this. He quickly turned around, moving to grab the gun. He twisted Minho’s wrist to free the gun from his grip and kicked him back. Running to grab the gun off of the floor, but Minho ran for it too, they wrestled for a bit as the trigger was pulled and released a bullet into the ceiling. 

Thankfully, despite being afraid, Minho was still stronger. So he overpowered the man, grabbing the pistol and smacking him across the face with it. “Fuck man— just give me the damn money!” Minho shouted, running over to him. When he got a better view of the man, he noticed he was reaching for a gun in which Minho had to act fast. He raised his own gun and pulled the trigger 5 times in a panic. Dropping the gun to the floor. “Oh shit!” He shakily said, going over to the guy on the floor who lifelessly lay there. “Shit shit shit!” He yelled, stepping over him and looking around for the money. 

He knew he didn’t have much more time. “Fuck he’s gonna kill me.” He panicked, grabbing the drugs off of the table and quickly picking up the gun he dropped. He left back the way he came from, closing the window as best as he could be running away from the house and to his car. He drove off quickly, not turning on his lights until he was off of the street of that home. His hands were shaking profusely as he tried to talk himself out of the state of shock he was in. 

When he arrived back at the club, he ran into the alleyway. “Just fucking let me in, you know who I am.” He said to the guards as they moved aside. He ran into the room where Mingyu sat and threw the drugs onto the table. “There was no fucking money. I looked. He didn’t have it.” 

“But you have the drugs?” 

“It’s right there in your fucking face. Are you blind?!” 

“You seem a bit shaken up.” Mingyu said, and Minho took notice of the cleaned up area where he killed someone not even 2 hours ago. “I assume it didn’t go too well.” 

“The asshole almost got the jump on me. It’s no big deal. I got your drugs. There was no money. I can just give you my percentage to cover it. I had to get the fuck out of there.. too many shots were fired.” 

“And he’s dead?” 

“I put 5 bullets in him. I’d sure fucking hope so.” 

“Good. Then your task is done.” 

“What?” 

“You passed the test. You can leave now until I send for you again.” 

“I just killed someone.” Minho pointed out.

Mingyu shrugged. “Good for you. Won’t be the last time it ever happens.” 

“I’m not a killer. Look I can sell the drugs but I don’t want any parts of this shit alright?” 

“Don’t you think it’s a tad bit too late for that? I mean, you did just kill a man in cold blood.” 

“You told me to do that.” 

“Yeah. To kill him. Not empty a damn clip in him. But you’ve proved yourself well. I think I’m done with you for the rest of the week.” 

“Proved myself? What the fuck does that mean?” 

Mingyu ordered for the woman beside him to get him another drink. “The reason you didn’t find any money is because there wasn’t any. He paid the right amount. I just wanted to see where your loyalty lies.” 

Minho felt sick to his stomach. “You… just made me kill an innocent man?” He said shakily. Mingyu quickly stood up and walked up to him.

“Pull yourself together. You’re a man. You’re doing a man’s job. Sometimes your hands will get bloody but you signed up for this the moment you came asking for my help. Sure you’re no killer, but you’re certainly not innocent either.” He sternly said.

“You made me kill… an i-innocent guy.” 

“Not so innocent if he’s buying drugs huh?” Mingyu said, tossing the bagged drugs over to one of his assistants. “This shit isn’t rainbow and sunshines. I don’t know what movies you’ve been watching, but this is real shit. And if you want real money, you need to do real man things. Got it?” 

And when Minho didn’t reply, he nodded. “Good. Now get out of my face. You look like a kicked puppy.” 

And to be fair, Minho didn’t sleep too well that night. He just kept thinking about that poor guy he murdered for no reason at all. He supposed it was for the best, he didn’t want anything happening to his family. He tossed and turned all night. His fiancée held him tightly until he eventually removed himself from her arms and left the room. He found a beer inside the fridge and cracked it open. Chugging it down as he flipped through the channels on tv. 

He couldn’t believe what he did that night. It still felt unreal, but it was definitely real, especially when it was on the news not even 30 minutes after his first beer. “Poor bastard..” He shook his head, knowing he was the cause of it. He felt horrible, and he really prayed the feeling would pass soon. The guilt was eating him alive it seemed like. He could barely lay beside his fiancée, who waited patiently for him in the other room. Although she drifted off to sleep again, she was worried when he hadn’t come back for an entire hour. 

He hoped the feeling would pass, he really really did.

* * *

“Do babies always look this bug eyed?” Chaewon pointed out as she held her nephew in her arms.

“Yeah, you should look at your baby pictures. Your eyes were the size of walnuts.” Jinsoul teased.

“Not true!” Chaewon argued. “Besides… Soobin has pretty bug eyes.” 

“Please stop saying my son has bug eyes.” Jinsoul shook her head. “I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate it too much.” 

“I’m sure he’ll understand when he gets bigger and sees his baby photos.” Chaewon smiled at him, finding his blue little outfit that said ‘world’s best boy’ on it quite adorable. Jinsoul rolled her eyes as she stood up, taking a few photos of Chaewon with Soobin. Her eyes flickering up and smiling for at least one of the pictures. “I’d love to hold him longer but I have company on the way.” 

“Ooooh Hyejoo?” 

“How’d you know that?” Chaewon questioned quickly.

“Because you hardly hang out with anyone else anymore.” Jinsoul pointed out, kissing Soobin on his cute cheeks and making funny faces at him to get a reaction. He never really did react though, he hardly paid attention to her faces at him. He was more interested in the ceiling for some reason. 

“I do! You’re just never here to see.” She quickly defended.

“Sureeeee.” Jinsoul teased, too occupied with Soobin to see her sister’s eye rolls at her. “Hey before you go could you make Soobin a bottle? I need to change his diaper… he’s stinky.” 

“Sure.” Chaewon said, walking past Mark as he left the kitchen.

Just as she was making a bottle, the doorbell rang. Mark was walking by anyway so he just opened it, seeing a shorter girl with dark hair looking back at him. He was used to it now. “Hyejoo is here!” He shouted out, walking to the living room and letting her walk herself in. This was practically like a second home to her since she stayed over so much. Just as she removed her shoes, Chaewon stepped out of the kitchen with a warm bottle.

“I take it that isn’t for you.” Hyejoo playfully said.

“No, it’s for my nephew. You should come and see him. He’s pretty cute.” 

“I’m not too big on babies—“

“Come onnnnn.” Chaewon said, grabbing Hyejoo’s hand and pulling her into the living room. “I checked it, it should be warm enough.” She said to Jinsoul, handing her the bottle. 

“Thanks Chae.” She smiled. “Also hi Hyejoo, I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” She pointed out. Mark just sat beside her, watching as she put Soobin’s clothes back on. 

“It’s been about a month or two to be fair. You don’t come around too much.” She said.

“Believe it or not, I have my own home, and my own things to do. So I can’t come around too much. But you know— it’d be a lot better if you just said that you miss me.” 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” Hyejoo playfully warned, and Jinsoul winked at her, knowing it would annoy her slightly. “Congrats on the baby though. It’s weird finding out these things through social media seeing as though I have direct access to this family.” 

“You’d know a lot of things if you didn’t hole yourself up in a room.” 

“Listen— I’ve actually been into reading lately, so lay off on me.” She corrected her.

“Yeah, you’ve definitely been around Chae way too long.” She laughed. “All she does is read. That bookcase in her room? Yeah. She’s read almost everything in there.” 

“Well, that’s actually where I got my books. I’ll be returning those back to you soon by the way.” She turned to Chae. “I think I enjoyed ‘Lord of the Flies’ the most.” 

“I enjoyed that one too. You should try harry potter next!” 

“Ughhhhh those books are a handful. Aren’t they like the size of 4 bibles stacked together?” 

“You’re so dramatic. I think you’ve taken my place for the most dramatic person in the world.” Chaewon shook her head. “We’ll be upstairs if you need us Soul. Catch you later.” 

“Yeah yeah, have fun.” Her attention was given directly to Soobin. 

Mark just watched from beside her, smiling at the cute faces he made. “How did you come up with his name?” He questioned.

Jinsoul looked at him briefly before turning away. “I just.. liked it I suppose.” 

“Ah… well it’s a nice name.” He complimented, before turning to grab the remote. 

“Yeah… it is. Thank you.” She smiled, before turning back to the baby who was now slowly dozing off in her arms.

* * *

It had taken Sooyoung over a year to finally find her bearings. It had also taken Rowoon over a year to open his big mouth about his wife having an affair with the nation's princess. 

But after a year of radio silence, she figured it was safe to go back home.. or to at least get into contact with her loved ones. She hadn’t put them in any danger for a year now. She lay in bed that night, eyeing the bottle of vodka she had. “No… I’m strong. I can do this.” She said to herself, shakily dialing up the number she had been hovering over for the past 3 days.

It took a couple of rings before the phone was answered. “Hello?” She heard her brother’s voice, and she nearly burst into tears. When she didn’t reply, he said it again. “Hellllooo?” He called out, walking around his apartment.

“Minho.” Was all she was able to get out before she broke into sobs. He nearly dropped the cereal bowl in his hand. 

“ _Sooyoung_?” He questioned. “Sooyoung please tell me that’s you…” 

“It’s me. It’s me. But please— just listen to me okay? I can explain..” 

“It better be a damn good explanation.. are you out of your fucking mind? Disappearing off the face of earth for over a year?” He breathed heavily. 

“Minho I know you’re angry but please, just listen to me.” 

“Talk.” He simply said, his tone sharp and stern as he waited for her next words.

“I-I left because of Rowoon okay?” She started, quickly speaking again before he could cut her off. “He threatened to out me… he was going to ruin my life. I was terrified… he’s so dangerous Minho..” 

“What did he do to you?” He angrily questioned, taking a seat because he was pacing around for far too long.

“It’s not just my life on the line. It’s our families, Jinsoul, Jinsoul’s _family_... I couldn’t risk it. I had to get away.. Minho, he would hurt me if he could.. he’s already—“

“Already what?” 

“He like forced himself onto me once…. and there was another time where he threw me to the floor… Minho, he’s dangerous okay? And I just really needed to get the fuck away from him.. please don’t be angry with me..” She begged tearfully.

“I’m not… I’m not angry with you Sooyoung. Just with what you did. You scared the shit out of me… this is the longest you’ve ever gone.” 

“I know.” 

“Jinsoul has a kid now.. he’s growing pretty quickly.. still tiny but, there’s something new with him everyday… I didn’t think you’d be gone for a moment like this…” 

“Me either…” 

It was silent for a moment. “Are you coming back?” He questioned.

“I want to.. I just don’t know when it’ll be safe to..” She quietly said.

“Give it a week… I’ll make sure everything is sorted out properly before you come back.”

“How is mom and dad?” She asked, afraid of the answer.

“Fucking heated. The girls are doing fine though. They miss you, and always ask about you. But don’t worry about mom and dad, I’ll deal with them. You just focus on getting your ass back here.” 

“Thank you so much Minho. I don’t know how I could ever repay you for all you’ve done.” She thanked him, still with tears falling down her face.

“You can start by getting your ass back here alright? I love you little sis. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

“Don’t do anything reckless okay? I don’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have.” 

“Okay.” 

“Promise me you won’t do anything.” Sooyoung said sternly, and Minho sighed deeply.

“I promise.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Yeah… I’ll catch you later. Stay safe.” He hung up, instantly grabbing a glass and tossing it at the wall. 

“Fuck!” He yelled. “I fucking knew that son of a bitch hurt her. I fucking knew it. Everyone thought I was crazy.” He angrily said, quickly running to his bedroom. He opened the closet and pulled down a box that he hid behind all of his clothing.

“I’ll show them crazy.” He said, opening the box and grabbing his pistol.

* * *

* ** _1 WEEK LATER_** *

Jinsoul didn’t know why the weather was bad that day. It was probably the universe telling her that something bad was going to happen. Either way, the thunderstorm had definitely shaken Soobin up badly. She was exhausted from being up with him all night and day. Lucas had a family event to attend, and she agreed she’d stay home with the baby despite him insisting on getting a babysitter. She never wanted to leave him alone with anyone she didn’t necessarily know too well. 

She was attached to him in ways she couldn’t even explain. So despite being exhausted from his crying and need for milk, she enjoyed every second of his little presence. Even in a big house like this, his existence managed to fill it up despite his tiny structure. She rocked him continuously as he slowly fell asleep in her arms for the 3rd time that day. 

And when she was sure he was asleep, she gently placed him in his crib while she ran to pick up her phone that rang in the kitchen. The sounds of it going off startled Soobin often. It was her mother calling. “Hey sweetie.” Her mother said.

“Hey mom.” 

“You sound tired. Everything okay?” 

“Yeah just— Soobin’s a bit spooked by the weather that's all.. he’s been crying all day. I just put him to sleep for the 3rd time.” 

She heard her mother chuckle on the other end. “He’s just like you then. You were afraid of the weather too. Even up until you were 10 years old!” She teased.

“Mom…” Jinsoul complained. “What is it you’re calling for?” 

Her mother cleared her throat before proceeding with her next words. “Your father is hosting a brunch tomorrow.. no media this time, although they really want to know about your little boy.” She mentioned. “Anyways, he asked for you to come. But you know him… asking is more like demanding, so I figured you’d rather hear it from me is all.”

“I don’t want to leave Soobin..” Jinsoul said.

“Then you could bring him—“

“I don’t really want him around a bunch of people either… too many hands and stuff..”

“Then leave him with Lucas—“ She tried to reason. “Look, I know you and your father aren’t on the greatest of terms right now but… let him try to make it up to you.” 

Jinsoul sighed heavily. The second the thunder made its presence again she could hear Soobin stirring awake. “Look, I have to go.. Soobin is waking up again.” 

“Jinsoul—“

“Goodbye mom.” She said, before hanging up and quickly moving to pick up the boy.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She said cutely to the boy. “The storm will pass… they always do.” She gently kissed him and sat back down. Cuddling with him once again. Not that she ever minded. She enjoyed it, and seeing his precious eyes staring back at her made her heart beat with something she hadn’t felt in months. 

She could get used to this feeling. She was sure she’d die for him. The same way she’d die for Sooyoung.

_**//** _

“It’s no big deal. I’ll take care of him until you get back home, Soul.” Lucas assured her. “He’ll be fine with me.” 

“I know, I’m just— I really don’t want to see my dad Lucas..” She explained. “After that argument I had with him about Chae possibly liking a girl, he went off on me. He said some terrible things… no wonder Sooyoung was so afraid…” She mumbled that last part to herself.

“I know. And I get it’s really fucking hard. But hey, if you’re not going for him, at least go for your sister. I’m sure she could use your support.” He tried to convince her as best as he could. “Besides, you need a breath of fresh air right now. You’ve been holed up in the house with the baby… this will be good for you.. kind of.” He smiled. 

“Yeah… I didn’t really think of it that way.. the dinner is in 4 hours. Do you think I can get ready by then?”

“I’ve seen you do it before. It won’t take very long. I’ll make sure Soobin is changed and fed. You— need to sit down for right now okay?” 

“Okay. Okay. Fine. But don’t overfeed him, he gets stomach pains if you do, and then he gets all gassy and gets diarrhea.” She explained as she stood up again to get ready. “And try not to feed him after 9pm unless he’s crying too much and you need it to put him back to sleep.” 

“Wait won’t you be home before then?” Lucas questioned.

“Most likely. But you never know with my parents.” She explained. “They’re a pain in my ass lately. I thought they’d lay off of me after having their grandchild but I guess not.” 

“Parents will always be a pain in the ass. That’s just how it is. Go get ready. This little boy needs a change.” He said, turning to Soobin in the crib. “Isn’t that right little man?” He talked to him cutely.

Once Jinsoul had gotten ready, Lucas made sure she had someone to drive her to brunch. She didn’t really feel like driving, and she certainly didn’t want to drive with heels on. 

The moment she arrived she was greeted by family members and such. Her little cousins asking her about the baby and telling her to bring him next time so they could play with them. “Next time. I promise.” She smiled brightly as she moved throughout the busy area to find her parents. But before she found them, she spotted Chae.

“Hey.. you alright?” She asked as the girl stood away from the crowd.”

“Yeah just… I was supposed to see Hyejoo yesterday.. but Dad hosted this brunch out of nowhere so we have to reschedule.. but she’s out of town on a camping trip for a week.” 

“Why couldn’t you see her yesterday? Before she left?”

“Dad won’t let me out of the house when he’s here. He doesn’t trust me, not after he went through my phone with mom.” She explained, her eyes sad as she looked around. “So I’ll just have to wait until he decides to go golfing again or something.. it’s ridiculous.” 

“Look— one of these days, how about you come over to my place and I’ll let you go out from there. Or you could invite Hyejoo over and hang out there. It’s plenty to do.” 

“Seriously?” Chae immediately brightened up.

“Yeah!” She smiled back at her. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get through brunch together alright?”

“Okay.” She smiled.

**_//_ **

While Jinsoul was at brunch, Lucas walked around the house with Soobin in his arms. Showing him around and telling him the parts of the house he thinks he’ll be in the most. “I bet you’ll like watching movies. That’s fine, I like watching movies too. We can sit in here together you know?” He said as the boy just looked back at him. “Yeah.. I’m probably not making any sense to you right now huh?” 

He heard the doorbell suddenly. “Guests?” He looked at Soobin, before getting up to walk up the stairs and open the door. The second he did, Minho was standing there. Looking a bit worn out. He also had a black eye. “Damn man— what the hell happened to you?” 

“Don’t want to talk about it.. Jinsoul here?” 

“No, she’s out for brunch with her family.” Lucas explained, closing the door as Minho looked around and then walked to the living room. “What’s going on man?” 

“I need to talk to you.” 

“About what?” 

“Just sit down.” 

“Ooooh kay.” He responded.

“How long till Jinsoul is back?” He questioned.

“I don’t know? Like, 4 hours tops?” 

“Well— Sooyoung will be here in an hour. And I need you to not tell anyone, not a single fucking soul about what I’m going to tell you. Especially her.” 

“Well Soobin is here—“

“Lucas, I’m not fucking around with you today.” Minho said sternly. “I need you to swear on it.” 

“Shit.., I swear… but Sooyoung is coming back? When the fuck did this happen?”

“I talked to her about a week ago. Needed to clear up a few things before she came back. She left for the airport yesterday.. and she’s going to be here today.” He explained. “She told me some shit about Rowoon and… I promised I wouldn’t do anything about it but man… I couldn’t control myself.” 

“Minho… What did you do man?” He questioned, looking down at his bruised knuckles. 

“I made sure he wouldn’t be talking or doing anything to harm my sister for a while.” He simply said, turning to Lucas with sincerity in his tone.

* * *

_**THE NIGHT BEFORE** _

“Where are you going honey?” His fiancé said the moment he moved towards the door as she slept on the sofa. 

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. “Going to my moms.” 

“This late?” She questioned, after checking the time on her phone.

“I always go over to her place.. doesn’t matter what time.” 

“Alright…” She said. “At least let me hug you before you go.” She smiled and Minho laughed softly.

She kissed him softly and let him wrap his arms around her. “I’ll be back soon okay? Get some rest. Don’t wait up for me.” 

“Text me when you get there okay? I want to know that you’re safe.” 

“Okay.” 

He left the moment he could. Swerving out of the parking lot as he checked to make sure his gun was still in the glove compartment. If his guess was correct, Rowoon was still living at their previous home. He’d been moving back and forth between that home and the other to check on the renovations he was getting done to it. He visited every other week and stayed in the house while work was being done on it. Even helping out sometimes.

This was the week he was supposed to be there. Minho kept track of it, which is why I told Sooyoung to specifically come this week. And here’s why. 

He already had access to the home, thanks to his sister. He was able to get past the gates if need be. But there was no use in going through the front yard, it was too obvious. But due to renovations, the gates around the home were no longer operating the way that they should have. So he could easily make his way through without sounding the alarms for trespassing without a code. Dumb on Rowoon’s part, but he wasn’t always the smartest guy in the world. Especially after a 15 hour long brain surgery. 

Minho also kept track of that. If there was one thing getting into the drug business helped, was to sharpen his awareness and thinking skills. He was always on alert, always paid attention to small details, because in the blink of an eye, you could be on the floor bleeding out from a gunshot wound. That is if you weren’t careful. 

He managed to get inside, without making a peep. Slowly shutting the door and creeping around. The only light on in the house came from the kitchen. The moment he walked in, he noticed Rowoon facing the other way, eating what looked like soup. 

Before he could even hear the footsteps behind him, he was knocked to the floor with the butt of the gun. He groaned in pain as the side of his head began to bleed from the force behind it. But he tried to fight back, punching Minho in the face so hard his sight almost went completely blackened. Dropping the gun in the process. But he kicked Rowoon in the stomach as he tried to crawl away and grab it. Unaware of who the intruder was, he planned to kill him had he gotten the chance.

But Minho didn’t give him the chance. He got on top of him, and punched him not once but twice. “Piece of shit! You’ll pay for what you put us through!” He yelled, punching away at Rowoon as he begged him to stop.

“Stop! Please stop!” He cried out, the force behind each punch getting worse and worse, and he could barely fight back because he was so caught off guard. The sounds of Minho’s fist colliding with his face echoing throughout the home. And he didn’t stop, he kept going until Rowoon was practically unresponsive, giving up at defending himself at that point. 

He beat him so badly that when he finally stood up, there was blood practically covering his face. And he couldn’t move, he just lied there. His face completely bruised and he probably had a few broken bones. There was something personal behind each blow he delivered to Rowoon’s face, the pain he continues to go through for his family and the pain his sister went through. He felt horrible. As her brother, he was supposed to _protect_ her. But he was blind to what was going on behind the scenes. Had Sooyoung told him, he would have hurt Rowoon when he got the chance.

Rowoon couldn’t even move, he was in so much pain, and even if he wanted to move, he was sure Minho had broken something. So he lay there on the floor of his kitchen, bleeding until the workers in his house came the next morning. 

“Holy shit!” They yelled out, dropping their tools to the ground. “Sir? Sir?!” 

And within minutes the ambulance had arrived and taken him to the hospital. 

_**//** _

“Holy shit Minho…” 

“I told him. If he ever hurt my sister. I would hurt him… I wasn’t kidding.” Minho explained. “So I did exactly that. And he won’t be a problem for a while… at least for now. While she settles back in…” 

“Jesus Minho…. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same though.” Lucas responded. “And you’re sure he didn’t see who you were?”

“I had a ski mask on.. and even if he recognized my voice.. I highly doubt he’ll remember after the way I punched his fucking head into the floor.” Minho said bitterly. “In a way… Sooyoung is almost like my kid. The same way I protected her, you would do that in a heartbeat for Soobin.” 

He looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms. Smiling at the relaxed and peaceful expression on his face. “Yeah… I already know I will.” 

_**//** _

It felt weird being back already. She sat in the uber she was in, anxiously texting her brother that she’d arrive soon. She couldn’t lie, she already missed Nayeon and Joohyun. They hugged her tightly before she left and made her promise she’d keep in touch. She smiled at the thought of Nayeon actually buying her dinner for once, it was usually herself or Joohyun. But she said she felt like she had to do it, as a goodbye gift. 

Joohyun’s goodbye gift was just a book filled with pictures they all took together when they hung out and such. 

Her favorite section were the pictures they took as they watched Sooyoung getting her hair cut off. Making wide mouthed faces as they looked at her in the hairstylist chair. She smiled looking at them on the plane ride back to Korea. She would miss them, but it was time to come back and fix what she had broken. 

Her stomach bubbled the moment she arrived in front of the home. It seemed all of their cars were parked there. She was terrified she’d see Jinsoul so early on. She texted Minho, asking if she was in there and he assured her she wasn’t. She still took a moment to even knock, just staring at the white door in front of her. She swallowed her and exhaled, knocking slowly. 

Minho turned to Lucas, who nodded, leaving him with Soobin. When he opened the door and saw Sooyoung, his eyes widened. Her long hair was no longer a part of her. She looked much different now, and much healthier. She seemed relaxed, like she didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders anymore. “Sooyoung—“ He said, instantly pulling her into a tight hug, and to his surprise, she reciprocated it. Not as tightly, but it was a start. 

He moved aside to let her in, closing the door behind her and following her to the living room where Minho sat. He slowly turned to her with the boy in his arms, wide awake suddenly as he looked up at Minho. He slowly moved the baby into Lucas’ arms, and the second he did, he ran over to Sooyoung. Pulling her into the tightest hug she’s ever gotten. 

“Don’t you ever fucking scare me like that again.” He said, holding her tightly. “I was worried sick. Don’t you _ever_ pull this shit again… I’m getting old. My heart can’t take it.” 

“You’re being dramatic.” Sooyoung teased playfully, holding him just as tightly. 

“Jinsoul should be home soon.” Lucas said, the sound of her name making Sooyoung’s heart stop. Minho let go of her, turning to Lucas who held Soobin in his arms.

“Would you like to hold him?” He asked and Sooyoung looked back at Minho like she needed permission to say yes. He nodded, encouraging her to do it. 

“Y-yeah…” She said softly, sitting down as Lucas gently placed the boy in her arms. 

The moment he was there, she couldn’t keep herself from smiling. She looked down at him with such light in her eyes. He had the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen. He was so tiny in her arms, and he looked so much like Jinsoul that it hurt. “He’s adorable..” Sooyoung said, nearly tearing up at the sight of him. He was so, so tiny, she couldn’t get over it. It’s been awhile since she last held a baby so small. It felt brand new. She moved to touch his tiny hands, in which he wrapped them tightly around her pointer finger. While he left the other hand on his mouth, cutely slobbering on it.

She couldn’t contain her excitement. She was in love with him already. He was too precious. “He looks so much like her..” She pointed out. He had on the most adorable onesie in the world, it had a cartoon like tiger on the front of it. 

“He does right? Minho and I were saying he’ll grow into his dad’s looks eventually. Isn’t that right little guy?” He said, trying to get the boy’s attention with his voice. But his eyes were completely trained on Sooyoung. Looking back at her as she looked down at him, cutely caressing his cute cheeks and smiling so brightly when he began to pout. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve held a baby..” She admitted. “It feels like a dream.” 

“Don’t go popping out your own now.” Minho jokingly said, although he was just a tiny bit serious. The sound of her laugh brought warmth to Minho’s heart, it’d been so long since he heard it. It seemed like Soobin also liked the sound of her laugh, because the second she did, he began smiling. Showcasing his cute little gums and the dimples on the sides of his cheeks.

“He’s smiling?!” Lucas questioned. “I’ve never seen him smile before! Look Minho, he’s smiling at her!” He excitedly said, looking at the baby as he smiled up at Sooyoung. 

“I think he likes her more than you.” Minho teased.

“I wouldn’t be surprised.. like mother, like son.” 

Sooyoung and Minho both turned to glare at him. He immediately put his hands up defensively. “What?! Still too early for those kinds of jokes?!” He questioned.

Sooyoung shook her head before turning back to Minho. “What happened to your eye by the way? It looks pretty bad…” Sooyoung questioned.

“It’s not a big deal..” He explained.

“Here let me take a look—“ And they all froze when they heard the front door open. 

_**//** _

Jinsoul was exhausted by the time she arrived home. As expected, her family drove her crazy. But she felt a little better now knowing she’d get to go home and be with Soobin again. When she arrived, she thanked her driver as he helped her out of the car. “No worries, I can walk myself to the front door.” She assured him and he nodded as he waited for her to safely get inside.

When she did, she immediately took her heels off. Sighing deeply. “Lucas!” She called out, and he froze in place. Turning to Sooyoung who seemed like a nervous wreck at that moment. She held Soobin close to her, afraid that if she didn’t she’d probably drop them from her nerves being all over the place. 

“I’m in the living room.” He said, as he watched Sooyoung glance at him quickly. Her eyes shaking the longer they waited for Jinsoul to reveal herself. And the moment she did, she felt her heart stop. 

“Where’s Soo—“ She began speaking but immediately stopped when she saw the woman standing there in front of her. She didn’t even know how to react, it felt as if her mind was playing tricks on her. That couldn’t be the woman she thought about every single day standing in front of her. Holding her son carefully and staring back at her as if she just saw an angel of some sort.

“Sooyoung…” She softly said, and Sooyoung slowly looked down at Soobin in her arms before giving him back to Lucas so he could be fed. Both Minho and Lucas left the living room to give the two women some time to themselves.

Jinsoul felt a mixture of emotions. Firstly, complete shock, her heart wasn’t working properly, doing that thing it always did when Sooyoung was around. And then the feeling of hurt returned, knowing Sooyoung had left her for so long. But the feeling that overwhelmed her the most was the love she had for Sooyoung, that overwhelming need for her. She also noticed her hair was much shorter, her skin had gotten a little more tan than usual. She looked amazing, perfect.. as always. She still had the most sincere brown eyes in the history of mankind.

It was weird, she felt like she was falling in love with Sooyoung all over again right in that moment. 

“I understand if you’re mad at me—“ She spoke, and before she knew it, Jinsoul was in her arms. Holding her tightly and quietly sobbing into her chest. Sooyoung quickly held her back, nestling her cheek against Jinsoul’s forehead. She missed her, she missed her warmth, her voice. She missed everything about her from head to toe. She missed her hugs the most. Jinsoul slowly moved her head from her chest and looked up into her eyes.

“How could I ever be mad at you?” Jinsoul questioned. “I’m hurt… but I couldn’t be mad at you… why is that?”

“I don’t know..” Sooyoung answered truthfully. “I was really afraid you would hate me if I came back…” 

“Are you crazy? It’s all I’ve wanted… how could you even— not even a simple phone call?” She asked, stepping away from Sooyoung.

“I know…. I’m sorry…” Sooyoung apologized.

“It’s funny… the only times I ever felt angry was when you weren’t there for some of the biggest moments of my life…. it just hurt really bad. I thought you’d always be there…” She explained. “And then the unknown… it killed me not knowing if you were okay or not… how could you just up and run like that?” 

“Jinsoul… I’m sorry.” She explained. “But if I had the option to go back in time and do it again— I would… it wasn’t safe for me here.. I need you to understand that.” 

“I could keep you safe.” She moved forward to caress Sooyoung’s cheek, but the girl quickly backed away.

“You _can’t_ solve all of my problems. I know you think you can, but the world doesn’t work that way. If I knew you could keep me safe, I would have stayed. But I couldn't, okay? So please… stop saying you could have done that for me.” 

“You didn’t even give me a chance.” Jinsoul argued.

“You didn’t need a chance!” Sooyoung yelled. “You don’t know what Rowoon is capable of. I couldn’t risk that. You have a family— I’ve already fucked up my own I’m not going to fuck up yours too… especially with Soobin around now.” 

Jinsoul immediately moved to the woman in front of her, placing her hands on both sides of her face. “Sooyoung.. you’re not a fuck up.” She told her gently, seeing the way the taller girl’s eyes watered. “Whatever happens, I would gladly go down with you. Do you hear me? Don’t ever fucking leave like that again…. I thought I lost you.” She began to cry, and Sooyoung instantly moved to wipe her tears.

“You’ll never lose me..” Sooyoung assured. “I promise.” 

“I love you so much Sooyoung.” 

“I love you too..” She quietly said, kissing her forehead softly. 

They held each other in silence for a few moments. Just enjoying the other’s embrace as they silently stood in the living room together. 

“We have so much to talk about…” Jinsoul quietly said.

“I know…” Sooyoung agreed. But for now, they were just enjoying being in each other’s presence again. It was obvious they both missed it. Sooyoung was sure she’d never leave again after being in Jinsoul’s arms like this again. She finally felt complete again.. 

“And Jungeun’s going to fucking kill you.” She laughed.

“Yeah… I was trying to not think about it too much.” She admitted, making Jinsoul giggle as she held onto her a little tighter.

Once Minho and Lucas didn’t hear anymore talking they slowly walked back in. “For a second there I thought I was going to have to break up a fight.” Minho joked, standing up and looking out the window.

“No. No fights here.” Jinsoul smiled, turning to Sooyoung as she held her hand and guided her back to the sofa. Lucas gave Jinsoul the baby. 

“I burped him already so no worries.” Lucas assured, and just as he said that they heard a small fart come from the boy. “Heyyyy! Manners young man.” Lucas playfully scolded the baby who just looked around. Sooyoung laughed, sitting close to Jinsoul on the sofa. She felt her heart nearly falter at the gentleness Jinsoul showed the boy. She looked at him with such fondness. Gently pushing his hair back. 

“It’s a bit cold in here..” Sooyoung said, grabbing his tiny hat off the table and handing it to Jinsoul. “You should put it on him so he doesn’t get too cold.” 

“Well look at you— mom of the year huh?” Minho teased. 

“Ha ha ha.” Sooyoung sarcastically said, smiling as Jinsoul put the hat onto the cute boy. “He’s just too cute.. I see where he gets in from though.” She said, his brown eyes looking around at everything in sight. 

Jinsoul felt her cheeks heating up at the sly compliment. Sooyoung was so close to her, she still couldn’t believe she was here right now in that moment. She felt dizzy, her intoxicating vanilla scent wrapping around her once again. She felt like she couldn’t breathe with her that close, being all cute with her son in her arms. She played with his tiny hands, letting him grip them tightly and try to put them in his mouth at some point. 

“Hey did you know I finally saw him smile for once!” Lucas pointed out. “And it was all because of Sooyoung! I couldn’t believe it.” 

“Seems like he’s found his favorite person outside of me already.” Jinsoul smiled, turning to Sooyoung who smiled back at her. 

The two women were in their own little world as Lucas and Minho talked amongst themselves. “Soobin is a really nice name… how’d you come up with it?” Sooyoung asked, still smiling at the baby as she made cute sounds to get his attention. Jinsoul eyed her carefully. 

“The minute I saw his eyes I just— it was already a name I came up with but… his eyes… They remind me so much of something… a sense of familiarity.” She described it passionately. “When I first held him in my arms.. and saw those eyes, I just felt like it fit.. and having you back in front of me… I see why it does.” She said softly. 

And Sooyoung’s heart pumped faster than it should have in her chest when she looked up and saw Jinsoul staring back at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. that was a lot. But there’s more to come so be on the lookout for that. Like I said I have already started on part 2. There isn’t a designated date for it or anything but look forward to it :) . As for this story, I wont say we’re nearing the end but there will be another good 4, maybe five chapters of this fic. And there could also possibly be a sequel :). Regardless, I am having fun on this long journey of infidelity with you all. 
> 
> Hope everyone is doing okay and taking extra good care of themselves. Until next time! ❤️


	10. Chapter 10: PART 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while right? Well, I’m back. Sorry for the wait. You know I have to make things crazier right? :) I guess this chapter is some relief for everyone because well... it isnt looking too great with the coming chapters. 
> 
> **With that being said** there is no limit on this fic anymore! I originally wanted to start slowing it down around a certain chapter but I want to continue on and make the story even better as we go along and take my time to create a beautiful story. So, from here on, I will continue writing and updating when I want and I will stop the story when I feel there isnt anything else to do or branch off of. For now, we have a long time ahead of us. 
> 
> Also: Sooyoung redemption arc? 😊😊😊  
> Enjoy! ❤️

* * *

The 4 spent time together for another few hours. Even allowing Minho and Sooyoung to stay for dinner. In a way, Sooyoung felt safe again. Jinsoul couldn’t stop glancing over her at her. As if she was checking to see if Sooyoung was truly real and was there in that moment. Whenever Sooyoung would slowly turn towards her, she’d give the most gentle smile and Sooyoung would shyly smile back. Turning away to converse further with the two men across from them. 

Jinsoul had taken Soobin to bed moments before dinner was ready. He seemed to have fallen fast asleep after a nice warm milk bottle. “So how was it?” Lucas suddenly questioned the girl across from him.

“How was what?” 

“L.A. Did you make any friends?” He questioned, and Sooyoung swallowed hard. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

“Uh yeah, I did actually. I plan on keeping in touch with them while back here in Korea.” She explained. “Besides, they’d probably track me down otherwise.” She laughed softly, thinking about how much they lectured her on communicating with them once she got back. 

“So do you have a place to stay for now..?” Lucas questioned once again, and Sooyoung froze. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead to be fair.

“Uh… no.. I don’t plan on going back to Rowoon’s place anytime soon..” She confessed, taking a drink of her iced tea. “I’ll probably stay with my friend Heejin for a bit until I find a place of my own.” 

“You could come stay with me if you need.” Minho offered and Sooyoung scoffed.

“Yeah. Not a chance.” She said playfully, although she was completely serious about it. “But yeah, don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.” 

“Are you sure?” Jinsoul questioned from beside her. Her eyes were full of worry, as Sooyoung expected. “I could help you out if you need—“

“I said I’ll be fine okay?” She sternly said, before turning back to the others. “I should probably get going.. it’s getting late and I’ve had a pretty long day.” She explained, standing up.

“I should probably head out too then.” Minho agreed, standing up quickly. 

“Shit did I say something wrong guys?” Lucas jokingly said. “It’s cool though. Hopefully next time we can have dessert together right?” He questioned, following the other two out of the dining room. Jinsoul followed behind as well. 

“My fiancé is probably waiting for me back at home. She hates when I get home late these days.” 

“Women right?” Lucas said, standing up and following them as they prepared to leave the dining room. As the two men said their goodbyes, Jinsoul slowly walked up beside Sooyoung. Smiling softly to herself. 

“Thank you… for coming by.” Jinsoul said quietly, and Sooyoung shyly turned to her and nodded. Jinsoul had so much to say, and so many questions. But it wasn’t the time, and she knew better than to overwhelm Sooyoung. She took flight whenever things got too overwhelming for her, and to be fair, Jinsoul understood. The things Sooyoung had been through, she had no choice but to understand why she acted the way she did at times. But it still hurt. 

“It’s no problem.” She shyly said.

“Will I see you again soon?” 

“Yeah… you will.” 

_**//**_

When Sooyoung arrived at Heejin’s place, she quietly sat in her car and exhaled deeply. The entire drive over she couldn’t calm her heart. Seeing Jinsoul that close after a year and she was somehow even more beautiful now than ever. It was actually astonishing how pretty her eyes were. Soobin resembled her greatly and he was barely 2 months yet. She couldn’t help but smile to herself remembering how warm her hug felt after so long. She didn’t want to let go to be fair, but she did anyway. Admiring the woman in front of her. She couldn’t believe Jinsoul was a mother now, and as much as it left a bad taste in her mouth knowing she wasn’t the person she had it with; she couldn’t help the way she felt seeing Jinsoul caring so lovely for the boy. 

She hadn’t even realized she walked up to the front door of Heejin’s home, ringing the doorbell twice before waiting patiently for it to open. She was surprised to see it was Hyunjin who opened the door and not Heejin. It was usually Heejin who was awake around this time, not Hyunjin. When they made eye contact, Hyunjin didn’t even say a word, she just pulled Sooyoung in for a hug. Holding her tightly and closing her eyes. Sooyoung held her back briefly before the woman backed away, telling Sooyoung to come in with her hand motion. 

“Heejin is over her ma’s place…” She informed the woman before closing the door behind them and walking to the kitchen.

“Her mother?” 

“Yeah she uh… she’s really sick.” 

“Sick?” 

“She was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer about 4 months ago.” She explained, pouring a cup of green tea for Sooyoung. “And ya know— she isn’t the greatest person to Heejin or I but… it’s her mother after all.” She slid the cup over to her gently before taking a seat. 

“Wow… I’m so sorry.” 

“Well, to be fair, I’m not sure how to feel. She hasn’t been the nicest to either of us, and she’s even worse towards the twins…” She sighed deeply. “I’ve been taking care of them a lot these days while she takes care of her mother.” 

“What about her father?” 

“Divorced her not long after you disappeared.” She said. “What was that all about anyway?” 

Sooyoung felt her body tense up at the slight hostility in her voice. “I-It’s complicated.” 

“You could have come to us.” 

“I couldn’t have.” Sooyoung defended herself angrily, knowing this wouldn’t end well because Hyunjin could get just as hot headed as she could if she really wanted to.

“Did you even fucking try?” She questioned, stunning Sooyoung into silence. “Or was your first option to just run off and leave everyone back at home worried sick about you.” 

“I didn’t want to worry anyone—“

“Well you did a damn good job at that didn’t you?” 

“Hyunjin look— I need a place to stay, If you’d like I’ll just leave and find somewhere else to stay.” 

Hyunjin shook her head. “I’m pissed and hurt because I see you as an older sister, and you left us all terrified. But I care about you. So no, you won’t find somewhere else to stay. The guest room is a bit of a mess, so until then, you’ll have to rest on the sofa.” She responded, standing up. She looked at Sooyoung once more before disappearing from the kitchen.

The taller woman sat quietly at the table, sipping on the tea Hyunjin gave her. It definitely didn’t taste as good as Heejins, but she applauded her for trying. Once she finished, she stood up to go to the living room, since Hyunjin hadn’t returned. But she was surprised to see her adjusting the sofa for Sooyoung to lay on, placing a pillow down and a comfy blanket for her.

“Heejin should be here in the morning.” She assured, leaning against the frame of the living room entrance. “If you need anything, I’ll be upstairs.”

“Thank you Hyunjin.” She softly spoke, sitting down onto the sofa and removing the jacket she wore. 

“Goodnight Sooyoung.” She said, slowly turning around and going up the stairs. 

Sooyoung smiled softly, knowing Hyunjin had her way of showing she cared for someone without exactly saying it at times. Sooyoung didn’t sleep immediately, she lay there and looked up at the ceiling as she thought about today. She could feel her cheeks heating up just remembering her encounter with Jinsoul. The way their eyes met and how she felt those same butterflies in her tummy that she felt over a year ago. How good she looked in that outfit she wore. She was scarily attractive, making Sooyoung nearly sweat as she stood in her spot. And she felt her soul come back to her body when Jinsoul wrapped her arms around her. The feel of her body against hers once again. She missed it so much. Not to mention meeting little Jinsoul, he was tiny and beautiful. 

He felt like a feather in her arms and his eyes were so innocent. He reminded her so much of Jinsoul and her innocence. The way his tiny hand wrapped around her finger. And his small gummy smile. He had the cutest dimples which he most likely got from his father and despite her jealousy nearly overwhelming her, she saw Jinsoul in Soobin more than his father. Which made the situation a little easier to stomach. She was so tired that night that she didn’t even change out of her clothes, falling asleep on her back and her legs sprawled out onto the sofa. 

She was sleeping peacefully when suddenly she felt a body on top of hers, and a pillow hitting her face. She covered her face quickly, blocking the attacks from the woman above her. 

“Ha Sooyoung!” Heejin yelled at her, forcing her to sit up. She wrapped her arms around the taller girl the moment she sat up. 

“Heejin…” Sooyoung replied sleepily, holding her just as tight. She rested her face against her shoulder and nearly felt herself tearing up at the warmth of her closest friend's hugs. 

“I missed you so much—“ Heejin said, kissing her cheek cutely and suddenly hearing pairs of footsteps running down the stairs. It was the twins, and they’d just cleaned themselves up. Hyunjin must of told them they had a surprise downstairs because their eyes were so wide when they saw her she was afraid they’d fall out. 

“Aunt Sooyoungie ~~~!!!” They yelled in unison, running over and jumping onto the both of the women. Giggling the whole time as they crushed poor Sooyoung underneath them. But she didn’t mind, she found herself laughing along with them. Feeling their tiny hands playing with her hair.

Hyunjin came down as well, shaking her head in amusement at the sight of all of them hounding Sooyoung. “Alright you little rascals, go and eat some breakfast. Dr’s appointment is in 40 minutes, we gotta leave soon.” Hyunjin said, scurrying them off to the kitchen and leaving the two alone. 

Heejin slowly removed herself from Sooyoung’s frail body, letting the woman sit up properly now as she rubbed at her eyes. “This is a pleasant surprise.” Heejin said, and Sooyoung felt her lips twitch up into a slight smile, feeling comforted by the deep voice she hadn’t heard in a long time. “I wasn’t expecting to see you taking over my couch when I got home today.” 

“To be fair, I wasn’t expecting to be here either.” She spoke. “I don’t think I can go home just yet… I’m scared.” 

“Scared? Of what?” 

“... You know what...” She mumbled. “I don’t even want to think what he’ll do when he sees me.” 

“How about I go to the house with you. He won’t do anything if I’m there with you. I won’t let him anyway.” She encouraged.

“I don’t know…” 

They sat in silence for a moment and Heejin soothingly rubbed her back. “I’m not mad at you… if that’s what you think.” She assured, and for the first time since she arrived here, Sooyoung’s eyes slowly met hers. And just from that look alone she can tell she was relieved by Heejin’s words. “I was more worried than anything… and having you here washed away all of my worries. It’s okay.” She said, and she could see the tears welling up in Sooyoung’s eyes. She quickly pulled her into her embrace, patting her head as she held the teary eyed girl.

“The ones that love you… they’re not angry…. they were just… scared.” She explained calmly. “We just missed you and we— we needed you to be okay, and we didn’t know if you were or not because you just.. up and left.” 

“I know… and I’m sorry to everyone that I hurt but I really don’t regret it… I did at first, but I realized this was what I needed to gather myself.” She defended and Heejin listened carefully. Before they were interrupted for a brief moment. They could hear footsteps running down the hall, and Hyunjin scolding them for running through the house.

“Hey! No running.” She said, and the boys laughed as they put their shoes on. “We’re heading out honey.” Hyunjin said, kissing Heejin on the cheek softly.

“Bye mom!” The boys yelled. “Bye Aunt Sooyoung! You better be here when we get back!” They playfully said and she laughed softly.

“I will be. I promise.” She said as she watched them disappear out the front door. 

“Want to finish this conversation over some coffee?” 

“I definitely need some coffee.” She said, following Heejin to the kitchen. Sooyoung leaned against the counter as Heejin began prepping the coffee.

“I mean… was it at least nice where you went?” She questioned, and Sooyoung turned to her. 

“Umm… at first, no. Everything was new and scary.. I didn’t know anyone or anything.. it got a little easier overtime… living there I mean. Not being away from all of you.” She said. “That part never got easier.. to be fair it felt like it only got harder each passing day.” 

“Did you make friends?” 

“I did.” 

“But none as amazing as me right?”

“I’ll never find a friend as amazing as you Heekie.” Sooyoung said cutely and Heejin’s face turned red. 

“Ahhhh cut it out.” She became flustered by the playful teasing Sooyoung tends to do with her. “Have you seen anyone else before you came here?” 

“Uhh yeah… Minho, Lucas… and Jinsoul.” She muttered. “And uh, Soobin.” 

Heejin froze for a second. “Ah… Soobin… handsome little one isn’t he.” She said cautiously. 

“Yeah… beautiful, like his mom.” She added, sighing deeply.

“How do you feel about that? The kid I mean…” 

“Heejin—“

“Look—“ She said, turning fully to Sooyoung. “I’m just saying, she’s a mother now. You can’t be off and on with her… you have to be committed.” Heejin explained quickly. “How did she take it? You leaving…” 

Sooyoung swallowed hard. “Um.. I hurt her really badly… I think… she didn’t really talk much about it other than how she didn’t even know if she was angry at me or not because she missed me so much.” She sighed remembering that day she let Jinsoul know they probably couldn’t be a thing anymore. “The last time I saw her…. I broke her heart into pieces… it haunted me for a whole year. I could barely eat or sleep at times.” 

“She really loves you.” Heejin said truthfully. “The way she talks and feels about you is the way I talk and feel about Hyunjin.. and next thing you know I was popping out twins.” She laughed. 

“I know… and at one point, that scared me shitless…” She admitted. “But I— seeing her just brought everything back to me, those feelings… the way I feel about her is terrifying in the best way.. I love her.” 

“I know you do. I can see it in your eyes, and the way you speak about her.. you really do care for her.” Heejin smiled. “Which is why— no more running away from your problems, especially ones that involve the ones closest to you.” She poured the coffee into a mug for herself and for Sooyoung.

Heejin knew how Sooyoung was. So her behavior never really shocked her, but she knew that it wasn’t a good habit to keep. Running away from things and leaving everyone around damaged was toxic and as much as Sooyoung hated hearing things like that, someone had to be straightforward with her. Heejin loved her too much to not call her out on her shit at times. “I know.. I’ll work on it.” Sooyoung spoke timidly.

“I’m serious… the state she was in…. it was bad… she _really_ loves you Sooyoung. I’m sure if you let her she’d fly you out to a private island with her…” Heejin said jokingly although Sooyoung knew it was extremely true. They sat down and drank their coffee.

“I think it’s going to take some time for her to heal.. from what I did, and I don’t blame her. But I-I do.. want to be with her.” She said aloud for once. “Because I do love her… a lot. I just have to take care of things before I even think about smearing my shit all over her life again.” 

“I’m sure she doesn’t mind.. she loves you Sooyoung and wants to help you anyway she can.” Heejin assured her. She saw how Jinsoul was and the way she spoke about Sooyoung. If she hadn’t known her, she’d think she was some God that Jinsoul made up in her head. But the person she was so deeply in love with was Heejin’s closest friend, who she knew inside and out. It was devastating seeing Jinsoul in the state she was after Sooyoung left. Not to mention she was pregnant so the stress wasn’t too good on the baby. And despite everyone trying, nobody could help relieve Jinsoul’s pain much. 

“I know.. and that’s what scares me.” 

“Sooyoung.” Heejin called out, getting the woman across the table's attention. 

“What?” She responded. 

“Let her love you.”

* * *

“Soobin is asleep, fed and changed. No need to worry about him.” Lucas said, standing in the doorway of the room. “Anything you need before I head out?” 

Jinsoul sat on the bed in silence, her knees pulled up towards her chest with the thin sheet on her. Lucas called out for her once again, realizing she seemed to be in her own world. He walked over to the bed and sat at the edge quietly. “Everything okay?” Her eyes slowly traveled up. 

“Yeah… sorry… just, thinking about something.” 

“Sooyoung again huh?” He questioned, and she made eye contact with him instantly.

“I just— I can’t seem to wrap my head around her actually.. being here again. And she seemed so fragile and distant. How do we come back from what happened?” 

Lucas sighed deeply, massaging his temples gently. “Give it time? Wait for her to come around again. Don’t rush anything that’ll make her shut you out.” 

“Yeah… yeah. I know all of that but, it’s different this time.. the way she looked at me..” She explained, recalling the shared glances she and Sooyoung shared. She seemed to be completely melting at the sight of Jinsoul and despite hiding it, she smiled gently every moment they were around each other. It was the usual, but it felt… _different_. “... I think the feelings are finally processing for me, the anger and hurt I felt because… now that she’s back, I’m not numb to it anymore.” 

Lucas listened carefully, knowing to just let Jinsoul ramble on and on until she got tired or got her point across. “I’m fucking _angry_ at her for what she did, and I’m fucking _hurt_ from the way she left things between us.” 

“And you’re allowed to feel those things. What she did was wrong, but don’t forget that you love her, and try to understand each other—“

“Is it ever that easy?” She cut him off, sighing. “Sorry… I’ve just been thinking, is all. I’ll be fine.” She realized he was pretty dressed up and he looked down at his outfit before chuckling.

“Family dinner.” He answered the question she hadn’t even asked yet. “I’ll probably be back late but yeah.” 

“How late?” 

“Late enough to know you’ll be asleep. But don’t worry, the nanny will be here soon.” 

“Nanny? Lucas I told you—“

“The ‘nanny’ is Chaewon. Trust me, Soobin will be fine.” He winked. “Unless you don’t even trust your little sis with him..” 

“I do. I do. I just thought you hired some stranger.” She admitted, hearing him laugh breathily.

“Not a chance.” He walked over to her, giving her a light kiss on the forehead. “Everything will be fine.. I’ll call you in a bit to check up on you. He’s asleep for now, Chaewon will be here around 7ish so don’t worry too much.”

“Stay safe.” Jinsoul said as she watched him leave the bedroom. She sighed to herself, pulling out her phone and calling Jungeun. The call rang for a while before she eventually hung up. She must’ve been working or out with some girl.

Jinsoul had nothing else to do. She rarely liked leaving the house after Soobin was born. She’d rather just lay in bed and watch him sleep soundly beside her on his little train blanket. She’d also rather be speaking to Sooyoung. Fixing what was broken between them and watching the tiny creation together. Her heart did flips when she watched Sooyoung holding Soobin. Letting his gentle hand wrap around the fingers that would gently trace the princess’ features. She’d rather they fast forward a few years. They’d be living together, taking care of Soobin and teaching him how to be open minded and loving. 

They’d kiss each other, and Sooyoung would cook while Jinsoul played with Soobin. She had dreams about these things. It was unhealthy.. the way she loved Sooyoung. But she truly couldn’t help it. She was so into her. She couldn’t explain it. 

Before she even realized it, she was in Soobin’s room. Watching over him in his crib as he slept peacefully. He wore a cute blue onesie and his mouth twitched slightly as he slept peacefully. Jinsoul smiled to herself, never getting tired of the sight of him. He was beautiful and everything she ever needed… kind of. She tidied up his room a bit, he was constantly receiving gifts and clothes he could barely use or wear just yet. But Jinsoul was grateful for it.

She left his room, softly closing the door just a little. She was alone in the empty home that she quickly grew tired of over the past few months. Jungeun visited frequently, but even that didn’t fill the emptiness much. It was still an empty vessel with a heartbeat every once in a while. And that heartbeat was Soobin, he gave it life.

* * *

“You should come too..” Chaewon encouraged softly. “You know Jinsoul has a lot of things for us to do there. We’d have so much fun! And we could just hang out with no problems.” 

Hyejoo just sat at her desk, focusing on her homework. “I’d have to ask my parents.” Hyejoo replied nonchalantly. 

Chaewon noticed Hyejoo had been much more distant since that fight she heard about. Chaewon getting in trouble for simply speaking to Hyejoo was concerning and it frightened her. She didn’t want to cause any problems or interfere with Chaewons royal life. The last thing she needed was being involved in some royal scandal. “Well they usually let you come over to my house anyway. What changed?” 

Hyejoo was quiet for a moment. “.. Nothing.” She smiled forcefully. “I’ll ask them after I finish this assignment.” 

“Okay.” Chaewon smiled, excitedly perking up the moment Hyejoo responded with something that wasn’t half assed. She pulled out her phone when she heard it rang, seeing it was her older sister. “Yes?”

“What time are you coming?” Jinsoul questioned. “I’m getting a bit tired so I’m going to nap but I wanted to be awake when you got here…” 

“Umm.. I’m not sure. But I have access to the front gates. I should be fine. Get your rest..” Chaewon replied and Jinsoul sighed on the other end.

“Okay. See you later Chae.”

The room was silent after Chaewon hung up the phone. Hyejoo hadn’t said a word, the only sound filling the room was the sound of Hyejoo typing something every now and then. “I uh— I should probably head out soon. Jinsoul’s alone with my nephew and she’s getting pretty tired so—“ 

Hyejoo stood up, closing her book and her laptop. “I’ll go ask my parents if I can come over now.” And Chaewon smiled awkwardly, she couldn’t really read the taller girl's tone, but she didn’t question too much. Hyejoo was… Hyejoo. 

She waited patiently for Hyejoo to return, and when she did she gave the blonde a smile. “Are you staying the night there?” 

“Yes.” Chaewon replied.

“Then I should pack.” She smiled.

* * *

Sooyoung sat in the chair across the room from the hospital bed, watching over the man that ruined her life not too long ago. He was unconscious, his head wrapped with bandages and white tape across the bruises on his face and lip. She sighed, waiting for a sign of anything, but she knew it wouldn’t come.

She remembered that feeling of overwhelming happiness that spread through her body when the doctor told her Rowoon had been placed in a medically induced coma. The doctors were unsure of when they’d awake him, as the swelling in his brain hadn’t gone down yet. They told her that he had been attacked, he was found by people working on his home. Well, their home. 

The door opened and she immediately stood up. The man looked over at her with a bright smile on his face. He immediately reached out to shake her hand as he held a clipboard in his hand. “Oh you’re his wife? We’d been calling you but we didn’t reach anyone.” The doctor explained. 

“I was out of town.” She spoke, and he nodded.

“Well— it seems you’ve been updated on his situation. There was a concerning amount of bleeding in the right side of his brain and we tried to stop it but it hasn’t gone down.” He explained. “His right jaw was broken and his cheek bone was cracked. So yeah, some pretty serious injuries. Those are the major ones anyways.” 

“Do you know when he’ll possibly wake from his coma?” 

“We’re unsure of that actually. We’re trying to wait and see, but it won’t be for another week, maybe even longer. Brain bleeding is not a good sign. He got beat pretty bad.” 

“I see.” She responded, trying to not let any signs of her relief show. “Could you keep me updated? Give me a call here and there?” 

“Of course. We’re actually about to run a few more tests on him. They shouldn’t take long.” 

“That’s fine… I unfortunately have somewhere to be… but I’m sure he has family visiting again soon? I saw the visit list for him.” 

“Ah yes. His mother calls every hour that she isn’t here so.” 

“Well. Thank you Dr—“

“Dr. Ok.” He smiled, giving her a handshake. “Take care.” 

**_//_ **

The next few days, Sooyoung found herself staying at Heejin’s. The shorter girl took care of her well, and she made sure that Sooyoung was levelheaded. Sooyoung had been back in Korea for a week now, and she still hadn’t seen Jinsoul since that night when she returned. But she still thought about her. She lay awake late at night just thinking of what she would say to the girl to even begin to fix what she had broken. But nothing could really fix the pain she caused or the trust she’d broken. 

“So you’re going over there today?” Heejin questioned as she placed some bacon and eggs onto her plate, handing it to Sooyoung as she looked up a few things on her phone aimlessly. 

“Uh yeah, I am. In like a few hours or so.” Sooyoung replied. “I’m kind of nervous though.” 

“About what?” 

“How she’ll respond…” 

Heejin laughed and sat beside her. “Jinsoul? You really think she’ll respond negatively? It’s Jinsoul we’re talking about here…” 

“Why does everyone think it’s that easy???” Sooyoung questioned irritably. 

“Because Sooyoung she’s in love with you. Don’t you get it?” Heejin laughed even more now, realizing Sooyoung really was clueless still, somehow. “When someone loves you, they’ll go to extreme lengths for someone, and they’re forgiving.” 

“Isn’t that a bit toxic?”

“And what you pulled isnt?” Heejin questioned, shutting Sooyoung up immediately. “Just try for once. Stop being so afraid of the world. Open up your heart.” 

Sooyoung didn’t say anything else, she just looked at the woman beside her in silence.

* * *

“Have you seen Chae?” Mark questioned as Jinsoul sat in the living room of her parents home. “She hasn’t been home much.” 

“She’s at my place. She should be back home tomorrow actually.” Jinsoul replied. “How has school been for you?” 

“Me? I just started college classes actually. But your parents are making me do homeschooling.” 

“Not surprising.” Jinsoul laughed. “They did the same for us. The status and all.” 

“Yeah… not sure if I like it.” 

“Well get used to it.” Jinsoul said just as her father stepped into the living room.

“Everything alright?” He smiled. “Dinner is almost ready. Jinsoul, your cousins are coming over this time. They said they missed you.” 

“Yayy..” She sarcastically replied, forcing a smile.

He walked out of the living room and back towards the kitchen, leaving the two alone as they turned to each other slowly and sighed.

“Tonight’s going to be long huh?...” Mark questioned and Jinsoul fell back onto the sofa.

* * *

“Sooyoung?” Lucas questioned. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hey Lucas.. uh, is Jinsoul here?” She questioned. 

Lucas laughed, pulling Sooyoung in for a hug. “Yeah uh, she isn’t. And I’mmmm actually about to leave myself. But she should be back later. Did you need something?” 

“I uh— I need to speak to her…” 

“Ah— trouble in paradise huh?” Lucas winked. “Let’s have a drink.” 

_**//** _

“She’s been doing well.” Lucas said, pouring Sooyoung a shot of something he hadn’t named. “She cares about you.” 

“I know…” 

“You should fix things with her.. I’d say before it's too late but, it’s never too late with Jinsoul. At least when it comes to you.” He explained, downing his shot.

Sooyoung watched him carefully in silence. Taking in the words he just spoke. “What does that mean?” 

“The girl can’t even eat or sleep when it comes to you.” Lucas laughed. “Whatever you feel, it doesn’t compare to what you made her feel.” He slid another shot over to the shorter woman. Taking in her features and realizing exactly why Jinsoul was so head over heels for her. “Fix it.” 

“How?”

“Well… you’re here because you have an idea right?”

* * *

Once Lucas left Sooyoung was left alone in the house. He explained how Jinsoul was really picky with who they left Soobin alone with, but he was sure Sooyoung was an exception. She would trust Sooyoung with her life if it came down to it. 

“I know… I know… I’m sorry I’m not your mom.” Sooyoung tried to soothe the young boy as he cried in her arms. She already changed his diaper, and Lucas said he’d been fed recently. 

Jinsoul was over her parents place and would be home before he was. And Chaewon had gone over to Hyejoo’s for the night. Sooyoung rocked the boy gently in her arms and hummed softly to him as he quieted down a bit. He looked up at her with wide brown eyes and he was full of innocence. He wore a cute onesie with giraffes on it and he smelled like lavender. “She’ll be home soon, I know…” She kissed his cheek softly and his tiny whines slowly stopped. He didn’t seem to enjoy being in his crib so Sooyoung just brought him downstairs with her. Sitting on the sofa with him staring back at her as he was placed gently in her lap.

“You look just like her..” Sooyoung smiled, feeling her heart skip a beat at how he resembled his mother. And although he couldn’t speak, a tiny smile was on his face but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. She just held him for hours, speaking to him as if he could understand and he looked at her lovingly, completely content with the sound of her voice as she hummed and spoke to him. 

She gently played with his hair and changed his diaper once again before he fell asleep in the safety of her arms. She rested on the sofa, her back flat against it as Soobin quietly rested atop her. His tiny warm body against hers and the smell of his lotion wafting against her nose whenever he slightly moved. 

She felt her heart jump whenever he made the tiniest sounds in his sleep and her smile was wider than ever whenever he’d smile in his sleep as well. “You’re a living angel…” She whispered as she held him securely against her and closed her eyes.

* * *

“...At least dinner was good.” Mark said as he stood beside Jinsoul as they stood by the pool. 

“That’s debatable…” Jinsoul laughed. “I should probably get home soon. Lucas is probably waiting for me with Soobin.” 

Mark cleared his throat. “How come you don’t come over much anymore?” And Jinsoul turned to him quickly with a concerned look in her eyes.

She didn’t reply, not because she didn’t want to, but because she didn’t know what to say. She thought for a moment before turning back to him. “I think we both know why.”

“Is she back?” 

“Huh?” 

“The girl? Lucas told me about her..” He added. “I won’t say anything… I just… I worry about you… you don’t really talk much about your problems.” 

“He told you–“

“He was drunk… don’t be angry.” Mark quickly defended. “Besides.,, I don’t judge. I just want to help you.” 

“You can't help me with this. So please— just mind your business.” She scoffed, quickly walking off.

**_//_ **

Jinsoul said goodbye to everyone as quickly as she could, sharing cheek kisses with everyone and waving goodbye. She got into the back of her limo and smiled, knowing she could finally go home and see Soobin. She just wanted to be home, away from all of the stupid royalty bullshit. 

When she arrived at her front door, she smiled at the driver, bowing to him thankfully as she opened the door to her home. It was concerningly quiet. She thought Chae or Lucas would be there to take care of Soobin so she wasn’t worried.

It wasn’t until she went upstairs to his room and he wasn’t there, and Lucas wasn’t in their bedroom either. Chaewon’s things were also gone. She quickly began to panic, running back down the stairs and pulling out her phone to call Lucas as she walked to the living room. 

“Lucas where the fuc—“ She said, the second he answered, she lowered her phone, her eyes going completely soft as she took in the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen.

 _”Jinsoul? Everything okay?”_ Lucas said from her phone.

“Yeah.. sorry. It’s nothing. Bye.” She replied, hanging up the phone instantly as she quietly walked over to the sofa. 

She didn’t think she ever would see something more beautiful than the sight of Soobin himself, but to see Soobin resting peacefully on Sooyoung’s chest as she lay there comfortably. Her arms wrapped around him so he didn’t move too much in his sleep and her eyes shut tightly as she slept along with him. Her chest rising and falling with the tiny human sleeping on her. 

She couldn’t hold back her smile as she just watched them. Her heart jumped even more once her eyes trailed past Soobin and onto Sooyoung. Her soft, elegant features. The ones that grabbed her attention from the moment they met. Her alluring lips and her pretty, tanned skin. She was beautiful, and even more beautiful laying there carefully holding Soobin. 

Her eyelashes prettily resting over her closed eyes and her hair laying messily over her face. 

Jinsoul felt dizzy at the sight. A sight she never thought she’d see.

Sooyoung shifted slightly, her eyes slowly opening as she carefully held the boy in her arms. She slowly started to realize she was being stared at, and she sat up as slowly as she could. Jinsoul’s eyes widened at the sight of Sooyoung looking directly back at her. She wasn’t really expecting to wake up to the sight of the beautiful woman in front of her. “J-Jinsoul?” She questioned, before looking down at the boy in her arms. “... Uhh Lucas left out so—“

“No, it's okay. I’ll just put him to bed.” She quietly said, walking over to Sooyoung and gently grabbing him from her arms. They made eye contact briefly as Sooyoung placed the boy in Jinsoul’s grasp. “I-I’ll be right back.” She stuttered, walking off with the boy in her arms.

Sooyoung quickly rubbed her eyes, trying to adjust to her surroundings a little better. Her chest was a little sweaty from Soobin sleeping on her but she didn’t mind. She was half awake but her heart still felt heavy knowing Jinsoul would return soon. She was unsure of what to say or even do. It’d been a week since they last saw each other or even spoke. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Jinsoul suddenly said, making Sooyoung turn in her direction. “But I’m not complaining…” 

“Look… I wanted to come earlier but—“

“Don’t worry about it.” Jinsoul reassured, sitting on the other end of the sofa. “I um… I can try to make us something to eat if you’d like or ask my chef—“

“It’s fine.” Sooyoung quickly replied. “I just… I think— i think we need to talk.” 

“You think?” Jinsoul laughed, and she felt her entire life fall back into place when she saw the smile that slowly grew on Sooyoung’s face. 

**_// ___** ____

__“I figured a conversation like this would be better over a few drinks…” Jinsoul said, as Sooyoung sat patiently at the island, as she was poured yet another drink that night. Jinsoul turned back to Sooyoung with a glass filled with a clear liquid, passing it to her gently._ _

__“Look…”_ _

__“Just— be honest with me please? That’s all I’m asking of you…”_ _

__“Jinsoul…”_ _

__“Just… tell me. What do you want from me?”_ _

__Sooyoung just stared at the woman as she could see the hurt in her eyes that she left behind. She could tell Jinsoul really wanted to try with her. To fix things.. to make this all work. “I want to fix this… all of this..” Sooyoung confessed. “I want to make this right.”_ _

__“You think it’s that easy?” Jinsoul questioned._ _

__“I-I didn’t say it’d be easy.. I just wanted you to know that I want to try. I want to fix this all. I never meant to hurt you.”_ _

__“I couldn’t tell.”_ _

__“You know I never meant to hurt you. I know what I did was selfish but— it wasn’t to hurt you. I was just afraid and scared and—“_ _

__“And you think I wasn’t?” Jinsoul cut her off, throwing yet another bitter laugh in the taller woman’s direction. Despite her anger rising slowly she couldn’t take her eyes off of how good Sooyoung looked. How beautiful she was and how forgiving her eyes made her seem. “Why did you leave? Leave me?” She corrected shortly after. “I mean, call me crazy but I really wanted to help you… so much Sooyoung..”_ _

__“Jinsoul your help alone wouldn’t have helped what I was dealing with..”_ _

__“Then why didn’t you talk to me?” She questioned.”Did you not trust me?”_ _

__“You know I trust you…”_ _

__Jinsoul laughed in response, drinking from her glass confidently. “You trust me? And yet you left me, because you had no faith in me…”_ _

__“It wasn’t like that. And you know it. I’d rather die than hurt you purposely.”_ _

__“I believe you… I do. For some strange reason I do. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less… I thought I would die without you.”_ _

__If it was one thing Jinsoul could outright admit that wasn’t just how in love she was with the woman, it’d be how she was a prisoner of her love. How she was locked in this metaphorical death grip of Sooyoung’s. How she easily was persuaded by those eyes and that loving voice of hers. How the smell of her perfume instantly put Jinsoul in a trance, pulling her in even more than before. No matter how badly she wanted to be angry, she couldn’t. And she _hated_ it. She loved every inch of Sooyoung from top to bottom, from inside and out. She could see the way her eyes slightly watered from Jinsoul’s words. But she kept her composure, opening her lips to speak once again._ _

__“I felt the same… I really did. It was terrible, horrifying.. I thought about you so much. And then I saw the news..”_ _

__“That I was pregnant.” Jinsoul spoke, seeing the pain in Sooyoung’s eyes when she spoke those words aloud. Even her own heart shattered at that. But she didn’t regret it now, before, she did. But seeing what she created, _who_ she created. She wouldn’t trade it for the world. _ _

__“That you were pregnant.” Sooyoung repeated. “You were _still_ sleeping with him… while we were a thing?” She questioned, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice. Trying to hide the pain she felt at the thought of someone else that wasn’t her touching Jinsoul. Making love to her and not having to be judged by the world for it. It was bitterness that she held inside for so long until that moment. If they were going to talk, they were going to let it all out at that moment. No grudges, no resentment, no secrets. _ _

__“He didn’t know about us yet.” Jinsoul defended. “I-I had to—“_ _

__“You had to let him fuck you? As you.. led me on this fucking hero escapade of yours?”_ _

__“Shut your fucking mouth!” Jinsoul yelled, her anger rising quicker than she could handle. “I offered to give up _everything_ for you! I would _die_ for you.” She shouted, watching as Sooyoung cowered away from her words. Jinsoul had never yelled at her with such intensity before, or at all for that matter. “I would do practically anything for you and you ran off. You _always_ run off. Because you are so afraid of someone fucking caring about you!” _ _

__“Jinsoul—“_ _

__“Shut up for once!” She said angrily. “I love you. I love you so much that I would rather die than go through the pain I felt when you decided to fucking run off and not tell anyone a thing. I cried so much that Lucas had to hold me at night to console me. I lost track of time. I lost weight because I couldn’t fucking eat. I can’t breathe without you. Don’t you understand?”_ _

__Jinsoul shouted, panting as she stood up across from Sooyoung. She couldn’t explain the anger she felt, and yet the sheer love that clouded her mind when it came to Sooyoung. There was nothing worse than the pain of losing Sooyoung. Her biggest fear had come to life and she couldn’t cope with it. Sure, she had fallen far too deep for someone she hadn’t known long enough. But love doesn’t have a time limit. And it doesn’t have requirements. She fell for Sooyoung so quickly because she showed her things that no one had ever shown her in her 26 years of living. She showed her how beautiful she was, how loving and caring she was, and how worthy she was._ _

__“There is nothing in this world that can hurt me or scare me more than when it comes to you Sooyoung.” She touched her as if she was made of glass, like if she touched her a little too hard, she’d break her. She’d kiss her as if she was the only girl in the world. She held her, and she whispered sweet things into her ear as she slowly dozed off in Sooyoung’s arms. How could she not fall in love?_ _

__“I tried so hard to not fall for you. To not, give in so easily to you. But I couldn’t stop myself and no matter how many times I say it— I don’t regret it. I never will. Because I love you Sooyoung.”_ _

__“I know.”_ _

__“So why don’t you just fucking let me love you?” Jinsoul questioned, standing up and walking slowly around the counter. “Is it that hard for you? To just let someone care for you? To just let someone who wants to love you, love you?”_ _

__

__“Jinsoul I—“_ _

__“You want to fix this? Then fucking love me. Love me without worrying about what comes tomorrow. Love me without worrying what the world thinks, we’re alone. The world doesn’t fucking care when we’re alone like this. Just love me. Love me the way that I love _you_.” _ _

__Before she could even say another word, Sooyoung stood up, pulling Jinsoul in for a kiss that nearly knocked her to the floor. Her hands held her face gently in them, her lips pressed against hers and her eyes closed as she melted into the kiss. The feelings she felt rushing through her body overwhelming her so badly that she wanted to run off once again. But she couldn’t, not if Jinsoul was holding her so tightly she would break. She kept her close, pressing into the kiss just as hard as Sooyoung pressed into her. Her back hit the counter, and the taller woman lifted her up effortlessly, placing her onto the counter as she kissed her all over. Her lips eventually landed back on the soft lips she’d dreamt and thought about for a year._ _

__And they fought and fought for the upper hand until they were up the stairs, panting for air as the taller woman watched Jinsoul pull her shirt over her head. Her red laced bra on display as she looked back up at Sooyoung with fever in her eyes. “Do you love me?” She questioned, her eyebrows lifting slightly with her words and her head tilting slightly to the side as she watched Sooyoung standing in front of her._ _

__Sooyoung could barely breathe. She didn’t know what to say or do. She just knew she wanted Jinsoul so badly. She loved her. And like Jinsoul said, she wanted to love her like the world wasn’t watching. The sight of her like this with his wavy dark hair cascaded over her shoulders and her eyes begging for Sooyoung to just do something. To prove to her that she wanted her just as badly as Jinsoul wanted her. She walked over to Jinsoul, pushing her against the bed gently and kissing her against her soft pink lips. Their hands intertwined as those soft lips that made Jinsoul’s head spin, slowly traveled down her neck. Not missing a single spot on the soft pale skin of Jinsoul’s. She loved her. She loved every inch of her._ _

__The sound of her voice as she begged Sooyoung to just finally let loose and love her. To kiss her like she meant it. To touch her. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Sooyoung said, her eyes looking over the body beneath her as she dove back into those tempting lips that belonged to the love of her life. “I love you.”_ _

__“I love you so much Sooyoung…” She smiled, sighing contently as her lips traveled further down her body and her head went back against the pillows. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t breathe, her body reacted on its own. Fingers running through the red hair that belonged to the taller woman as her lips and tongue did what it did best._ _

__The night ended with Sooyoung’s name leaving her lips over and over again as her back arched and she left red streaks down the back of the tanned woman above her. They lay side by side on the floor of the bedroom. The blanket covering their bare bodies as Sooyoung caressed Jinsoul’s cheek. Tucking her beautiful wavy hair behind her ear, smiling softly at her as she lay there enjoying Sooyoung’s presence._ _

__“I’m going to love you harder than I ever have.” She spoke quietly. Her words were sincere and as her fingers gently traced Jinsoul’s features she eyed her carefully. And she could see the smile that made its way to Jinsoul’s stunning features. They just stared into each other's brown eyes, enjoying the sight of the other. Their bodies lay close together, the warmth of their bodies making them want to stay even closer together. Sooyoung couldn’t believe her eyes. The few hairs sticking against Jinsoul’s forehead from her sweat, her body relaxing and her eyes shut. She was beautiful. She was everything Sooyoung could ever dream of._ _

__“I love you Jinsoul. I love you more than I love myself… I won’t let the world scare me anymore… I won’t.”_ _

* * *

__**_5 MONTHS LATER_ ** _ _

__“Explain to me again why I’m helping this asshole move into this place.” Jungeun said, throwing the box down onto the floor of the home. “I mean— she’s been avoiding me like some child.”_ _

__“Can you blame her?” Jinsoul questioned. “Look at how you’re being right now. You’re holding a grudge.”_ _

__“Oh, excuse me. Sorry I can’t just _get over_ what she did to everyone.” Jungeun said sarcastically. “I may hold a grudge. But I have a damn good reason too. She hurt you. Which means she hurt _me_.”_ _

__Jinsoul sighed deeply, turning to her shorter friend who walked back outside to grab more things from the truck. The woman followed behind her, crossing her arms at the brunette. “What?” Jungeun questioned with a shrug._ _

__“She’s trying…” Jinsoul spoke. “She really is.. it’s been nearly 6 months now Jungeun. She’s much better now. She takes care of me… she doesn’t run off. We talk more.. we hang out more. Soobin loves her!”_ _

__“Ah, the human that can't even talk is supposed to change my mind.” Jungeun rolled her eyes._ _

__“I’m in love with her.” Jinsoul said. “And she’s in love with me. And you’re my best fucking _friend_. Can you at least _try_ to forgive her?” Jinsoul questioned, walking behind the shorter girl with a box in her hand. _ _

__Jungeun threw the box down once again, watching as Jinsoul gently placed hers down. She shook her head. “For you? Fine.” She replied. “But don’t expect me to be buddy buddy with her all of a sudden.”_ _

__“It’s a start at least.” Jinsoul added. “She’s different now Jungeun… she really is., we’ve sat together and we’ve talked a lot and expressed our thoughts and concerns. I think we’re going to be okay.”_ _

__Jungeun shrugged. “Well, if you’re happy, then I guess I have no other choice but to accept that. So, I’ll give her another chance. But this is the _last_ time.” _ _

__Jinsoul smiled brightly, pulling in Jungeun for a hug that she quickly removed herself from. Cringing even more when Jinsoul kissed her cheek. “I love you Jungeunnnnn.” She said cutely, smiling as she grabbed yet another box._ _

__“Yeah yeah yeah… now help me with these boxes. I have places to be.”_ _

* * *

__“Are you sure about this?” Heejin questioned, her eyes on the road and briefly turning to Sooyoung. “You know I really don’t mind you staying with us. Hyunjin doesn’t either.”_ _

__Sooyoung shook her head. “I think this is for the best. I kind of need some independence again.. besides, the asshole’s, asshole of a mother cut me out of the entire family funds. Took my car too.”_ _

__“I’m sorry Sooyoung…”_ _

__“It’s for the best. Slowly cutting ties from him I suppose. Not like he’s aware of it though.”_ _

__Heejin laughed. “Still in a coma… right… have they said anything changed?”_ _

__“It’s about a 50/50 chance…”_ _

__“How do you feel about that?” Heejin questioned as she began to drive once again after they’d stopped at a red light._ _

__“I don’t know anymore…” She replied truthfully. Despite the trauma he caused her, she didn’t want anyone dead. And to be quite fair, he was the lesser evil between the two, his mother was far worse. He just had a superiority complex, and somewhere in his sick twisted mind he loved Sooyoung._ _

__But even then, she still didn’t love him._ _

__**_//_ ** _ _

__Minho watched the shorter woman walk by him with a smile. “What?”_ _

__“Nothing just… relieved” Jinsoul replied gently, grabbing a much heavier box from the trunk. Minho quickly walked over, taking it off her hands and following her towards the house. “Just knowing that she’s okay.”_ _

__“Yeah.. I’m relieved too. Hopefully it stays that way for a long time.” He forced a smile onto his face as he brought in the very last box of Sooyoung’s._ _

__“So where is she anyway?” Jungeun questioned, and Minho turned to the much shorter girl._ _

__“Uh, she should be here soon actually. She stopped over at our parents place for a bit.” He explained, and Jungeun rolled her eyes before turning to the fridge. He caught onto it quickly though, standing behind her. When the girl turned around she nearly bumped into the man, he stood over her intimidatingly. “Cut her some slack.”_ _

__“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.” She replied quickly, moving around him._ _

__“I mean— go easy on her alright? I get you’re upset at her, hell we all were. But she’s trying.”_ _

__“Should’ve tried before she left and hurt Jinsoul in the process.”_ _

__“You _know_ that wasn’t her intention.” Minho defended quickly, watching as Jungeun walked back over to him, eyeing him carefully._ _

__“I get it. And look— you can forgive her, you’re her brother after all, and Jinsoul can forgive her. But that just doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly forgive her. Because _I_ am the one who had to see her in the state she was in after. And it haunts me to do this day.” She snapped. “So let me be angry. And I won’t speak about this _again_.” She moved to walk off until she felt a hand around her arm._ _

__“Get over it. It’s not our relationship. They’ll figure it out without you trying to take my sisters head off.” He said, and Jungeun looked him up and down. Jinsoul suddenly returned back to them both, smiling brightly._ _

__“Everything okay?” She asked, and they both turned to her with a smile of their own._ _

__“Of course. Has Sooyoung got in contact with you?” Minho questioned, walking off with Jinsoul._ _

__“No actually she hasn’t.”_ _

__“Probably ran off again.” Jungeun mumbled and Jinsoul turned to her with a disapproving look._ _

__“You promised.” Jinsoul said and Jungeun sighed deeply, just nodding in her direction._ _

__The door was suddenly opened as they all stood in place, and Jinsoul was elated to see who it was. The girl had a simple backpack over her shoulder and she had the prettiest part down the center of her head. A plaid black and white button up and a pair of blue jeans. She looked so good, although she always looked so good. “Sooyoung..” Jinsoul called out softly, walking over to her and wrapping her arms around her._ _

__Her body went into shock when she felt her hug back just as tightly, kissing her soft cheek and smiling when she saw Minho smiling at her. She removed herself from Jinsoul’s hold gently, turning and seeing Jungeun standing in the kitchen. She felt her heart drop. She hadn’t seen Jungeun since… well since she left over a year ago._ _

__“Oh— uh, we put everything down over there. And we made sure to put them all together according to rooms and such.” Minho explained, pointing at the boxes in the corner._ _

__“Thank you. Thanks.. for everything.” Sooyoung said gratefully._ _

__“It’s no problem. I should uh, probably get going. You know how the fiancé gets.” He laughed, and Jinsoul hugged him. “I’ll see you soon alright?” He turned to Sooyoung, pulling her in for an even tighter hug. “And you—“ He pointed at Jungeun._ _

__She turned to him with wide eyes. “Be good.” He winked, and she scoffed loudly._ _

___**//** _ _ _

__Jungeun just watched the two as they sat in the living room together, laughing and talking to each other. She downed another glass of scotch, turning to the two that sat on the sofa. Despite her anger aimed at Sooyoung, she couldn’t deny what she saw in that moment. How soft Sooyoung’s eyes were as she looked at Jinsoul beside her. The way she smiled even when she wasn’t aware. How she laughed at Jinsoul’s jokes and how she pushed her gently whenever she said something cringey._ _

__No. She couldn’t deny that._ _

__Sooyoung did a selfish, assholeish thing. But she loved Jinsoul. Her eyes didn’t lie when it came to that. And Jungeun couldn’t ignore that. She couldn’t._ _

__So as they spoke amongst themselves, she finally left the kitchen. Joining them in their movie night. “Oh! You finally decided to join us?” Jinsoul pointed out, and for a brief second Sooyoung and Jungeun’s eyes met. It was brief, but it happened, and there was an understanding there that they didn’t need to speak on._ _

__“Yeah. The movie seems interesting.” Jungeun replied, crossing her legs and leaning back on the sofa she sat on._ _

__“It is! It’s the purge.” Jinsoul explained softly, leaning back into Sooyoung’s arms._ _

__They sat there, talking here and there. Jungeun didn’t talk directly to Sooyoung, but she didn’t ignore her existence either. “I’ll be right back.” Jinsoul smiled, moving to get up._ _

__“Wait where are you going?”_ _

__“To the bathroom.” She smiled._ _

__“Do you want me to pause?”_ _

__“You don’t have to. I’ll be quick.” She kissed Sooyoung’s cheek, leaving the two alone._ _

__Sooyoung felt herself shift uncomfortably at the sudden coldness of the room. She didn’t speak, and she certainly didn’t look in Jungeun’s direction. But she could feel those sharp eyes on her, watching her every move. “You love her.” Jungeun said suddenly, and Sooyoung turned in her direction, swallowing hard. “If there’s a reason I ever liked you, it’s because you love her. For _her_. And she needs that, she needs someone to love her for her because she’s never had that.” _ _

__“Look…. I fucked up—“_ _

__“You did. Badly. But you’re trying to fix it, and I can’t be angry at you for that.. I want to hate you badly right now but I can’t. So I’m asking…”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Yes..”_ _

__“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”_ _

__“Something along the lines of if we can push this aside and be on the same page.”_ _

__Jungeun laughed. “Something like that.. look— I’m her best friend, it’s not a good look hating your guts when she’s so head over heels for you.” She explained. “So hey, I forgive you. I wanted to fucking stomp you out for months but I think I can push it aside for now.”_ _

__“Stomp me out…?” Sooyoung cowered._ _

__“Yeah. But we’re past that. Right?” She winked._ _

__“Right…”_ _

__“Good…” Jungeun smiled. “Nice hair color by the way. I like it. I was just too pissed at you to admit it.”_ _

__“Oh? Thank you.” Sooyoung smiled, and they both turned back to the movie once they heard footsteps coming towards the living room. “Hey you..” Sooyoung smiled as Jinsoul sat beside her again._ _

__“Did you take a shit?” Jungeun questioned and Jinsoul tossed a pillow at her._ _

__“ _No_. I was just giving you two the much needed time you needed to fix whatever the hell you had going on.” She smiled contently and the girls both looked at each other. “It worked huh?” _ _

__Jungeun rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable.” She said, throwing the pillow back at Jinsoul who laughed loudly. Kicking her foot out to block the pillow from hitting her face. Sooyoung just shook her head in disbelief as they went back to watching the movie. Before they knew it, it was over. And Jinsoul was saddened by it, she wanted to just stay there._ _

__“I’ll call you when I’m home.” Jungeun said to Jinsoul, hugging her. “And you… yeah.” She said, waving at the two of them._ _

__Jinsoul shook her head before turning back to Sooyoung. “Give her another week.” She smiled, eyeing the taller woman in front of her. “Everything okay?” She questioned, noticing how quiet Sooyoung was._ _

__“C-Can we talk a little?” She questioned, nervously standing in front of the woman. Jinsoul looked at her as if she was crazy._ _

__“Of course we can.” She responded, stepping back into the home. “Did I do something—“_ _

__“No.” Sooyoung quickly reassured her. “You did nothing. You’ve never done a single thing..”_ _

__Jinsoul could see just how tense Sooyoung was. She didn’t make eye contact at all with her, she just leaned against the wall as Jinsoul sat down at the island. “Sooyoung… talk to me.” She gently encouraged, her hand lightly grazing Sooyoung’s._ _

__Sooyoung’s head slowly lifted up and the moment she looked into those brown eyes again, her knees went weak. She fell to the floor and Jinsoul quickly came to her aid. The red haired woman started crying, sobbing actually, and Jinsoul had no idea what to do. “Sooyoung please talk to me—“_ _

__Jinsoul felt helpless watching the woman sit on the floor with her knees up to her chest. She watched as the woman cried streams of tears that not even the sun could dry. Sooyoung harbored so much shit and so much pain that she would just break at some point. But it was one by one. She was slowly being cracked open like a cocoon inch by inch. Her strong walls breaking down over time as she finally decided to let in the one person that she trusted more than anyone and anything._ _

__“I’m done being afraid… I’m so _tired_ of being afraid of _everything_.” _ _

__“Afraid?”_ _

__“Afraid to stand up for myself. Afraid of the world. Afraid to _love_. Love who I want to love.” _ _

__“Sooyoung..”_ _

__“I’m in love with you.” She suddenly said, her teary eyes meeting Jinsoul’s worried ones. “I love you so much Jinsoul.”_ _

__“I know. I love you too Sooyoung.”_ _

__“Why are you so perfect?” Sooyoung said through her tears, a small laugh leaving her lips._ _

__And Jinsoul laughed as well, wiping her own tears away. “You’re asking me that?” She smiled. “You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met.”_ _

__“I broke your heart…”_ _

__“And I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you.” Jinsoul assured her. “You’re not a bad person Sooyoung… I know you. You’re beautiful… funny, so fucking caring. You’re _good_.” _ _

__Sooyoung placed her hand gently onto the hand that caressed her cheek carefully. “I’ve met so many people in my life… bad ones, and you’re not one of them. You’re the best person I’ve ever met… outside of Junguen.”_ _

__“Ah.” Sooyoung laughed, wiping at her tears._ _

__“I forgive you. Stop getting into that pretty little head of yours… and if you can’t, I’ll make sure to remind you.”_ _

__“Every.” She kissed forehead._ _

__“Single.” Her nose._ _

__“Time.” Her lips._ _

__And Sooyoung closed her eyes, melting into yet another kiss. Jinsoul helped her off the floor, wiping the tears from her cheeks and smiling at her. “I’m all yours… that hasn’t changed. Not even for a second.”_ _

__“Not even for 1?” Sooyoung questioned._ _

__“Nope.” She admitted. “I was pissed. But, I was pissed because I wanted you. Here. With me…”_ _

__“With you?”_ _

__“With me. Always.” Jinsoul replied._ _

* * *

__Sooyoung smirked to herself as she slowly kissed up Jinsoul’s body. She pushed her hair back as she went up her body. The sound of her panting, trying to catch her breath making her smile more than she should have. She kissed Jinsoul’s chest gently, smiling against every inch of her torso as she placed her soft lips against her soft skin._ _

__“How do you get better every single time?”_ _

__“I just learn what you like more and more each time..” Sooyoung laughed, kissing her lips softly. She rested her head against the pillow and allowed Jinsoul to rest her head onto her bare chest. She silently lay there, listening to the sound of Sooyoung’s heart against her chest._ _

__Sooyoung’s eyes were closing when she heard Jinsoul call out to her softly. Her soft chocolate eyes looked up at her as she traced circles over and over against her skin. “Hm?” Sooyoung replied, her eyes still half closed._ _

__“When you said you were afraid… did I.. did I make you afraid?”_ _

__Sooyoung shifted slightly in bed, leaning her back against the headboard of the bed. “Are we being honest?”_ _

__“Aren’t we always?” Jinsoul questioned, and Sooyoung laughed, assuring the woman she was just joking._ _

__“Yeah.. you did. Before. It wasn’t… really something I ever explored.. you know, with my sexuality and all.” She explained. “So what I was feeling, when it came to you… it was different and it was overwhelming… but I’m done running away from you, and what I feel for you.”_ _

__“I won't ever pressure you into anything… you know that right? I just love you… and I guess I got carried away with that. I’ve never felt what I feel for you before.” She explained to the woman, playing gently with her fingertips. “I never meant to overwhelm you..”_ _

__“It’s okay.. it’s not overwhelming anymore.. at least in a bad way.” She kissed her forehead. “I’m ready to let you love me with everything you got.”_ _

__“Was giving you this house and buying you a car not enough?” Jinsoul jokingly said. “I already love you with everything I got Sooyoung. That hasn’t changed… it never will.”_ _

__“Never?”_ _

__“Mhm..” She smiled. “Never.”_ _

* * *

__Sooyoung had awakened before Jinsoul did. The woman fast asleep as the sun hit the side of her face just right. An oversized shirt on her tiny body, and her legs sprawled out on the bed. Sooyoung chuckled, kissing her forehead softly. She sighed to herself, getting up and putting on her clothes._ _

__While Jinsoul slept, Sooyoung made sure to clean herself up and unpack a few things from the boxes. She was thankful that she didn’t have many things, so she could most likely be unpacked by the day was over if she didn’t get too distracted with other things. She placed a picture of her and her siblings onto her coffee table. Smiling at the picture that showed happier times._ _

__Once she unpacked 2 boxes, she went to make breakfast. She was almost done when Jinsoul awakened, walking up to her from behind and kissing her neck softly. She had some bacon cooking now. “Good morning Sunshine.” Sooyoung cutely said, turning around and kissing Jinsoul’s forehead. “Did you sleep okay?”_ _

__“Better than okay.” She smiled. “Cooking for me huh?”_ _

__“Something like that.”_ _

__“Thanks for letting me stay over.” Jinsoul smiled, sitting down at the island and watching Sooyoung put away some of the ingredients she wasn’t using anymore._ _

__“You don’t need to thank me..” Sooyoung said truthfully. “Here, eat something before you go.” She placed a plate gently down in front of her, kissing her cheek. “I’m going to unpack a few more things okay?”_ _

__“Okay baby.” Jinsoul smiled, watching her as she walked off before eating. She was enjoying her food until she bit into something crunchy in her eggs. She reached for a napkin and spat into the napkin quietly. She turned around to make sure Sooyoung wasn’t looking before she swiped the food into the trash can. She walked over to the woman, watching as she took out a few things from the box._ _

__“That was fast. Was it good?” She smiled._ _

__“Hm? Yes! Of course it was. Thank you, my love.” She smiled, kissing Sooyoung’s cheek._ _

__She grabbed a picture frame from Sooyoung’s box and smiled. It was a picture of Sooyoung being carried around on Minho’s shoulders. The both of them smiling as they stood in front of the waves of the ocean. “You and Minho have always been close huh?”_ _

__Sooyoung turned to her, taking a look at the picture in her hands. “Yeah.. always.” She said._ _

__“Must be nice..”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Having an older sibling.” She smiled slightly. “It must be nice.. to be guided..” She muttered that last part._ _

__“He guides me but we’re pretty much the same… so.” She laughed. “He’s never really used his age on me though. I think that was one of my favorite things about him as a kid.”_ _

__“I bet.” She smiled, handing the picture frame to the girl beside her. “I um— I actually should go and get cleaned up myself right.”_ _

__“Right.. you said Soobin had a doctors appointment today.”_ _

__“Mhm!” She said. “Are you going to miss me?”_ _

__“If I say yes will you stay again tonight?” Sooyoung encouraged, walking closer to her and kissing her softly._ _

__“Hmmm don’t be tempting..” Jinsoul pushed her away softly. “I would, but unfortunately I’m going to be busy with family this week.” She sadly spoke, pouting cutely when she saw Sooyoung’s smile drop._ _

__“I forget you’re a princess sometimes..”_ _

__“You call me it so much in bed I thought you’d remember.” Jinsoul teased. “But yes.. I am a princess, and Soobin is the talk of the country right now.. so, yeah. Royal family stuff.”_ _

__“But you’ll come back soon?” Sooyoung questioned, watching the woman get dressed quickly._ _

__“You were serious about not being afraid huh? You’re not even hiding the fact that you want me to stay… I like it.” She smiled, kissing her before moving to put on her pants. “I’ll come back as soon as I can okay? You know I can’t stay away from you for too long.”_ _

__“The feeling is mutual..”_ _

__“Really? Because you did a pretty good job doing it before.” Jinsoul pointed out, and Sooyoung’s eyes widened. “Sorry.. I’ve been around Lucas too much I think. Joking about shitty situations that I’ve experienced and such.”_ _

__“I can see that…” Sooyoung replied. “But fine. I’ll wait for you.”_ _

__“Next time, let’s go swimming in that nice pool of yours.”_ _

__“It’s cold outside…”_ _

__“The pool water is warm.” She grabbed her purse and smiled at Sooyoung. “I’ll be back soon. Promise.” She kissed her lips._ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__“I love you too Sooyoung.”_ _

* * *

__“You bought her a Tesla?” Lucas questioned, putting on body spray. “You never bought me one of those. Now I’m starting to get a little offended.”_ _

__“Lucas..”_ _

__“Just a question. So this.. house she’s in… did you buy that too?” He questioned and Jinsoul hesitated to answer._ _

__“It’s uh… I bought it some time ago.” She replied, changing Soobin’s diaper as he sucked his thumb and looked around the room. She held him in place as he kept trying to roll around._ _

__“Ah..” He replied, unsure if he wanted to know much more about that purchase of hers. “So, is she settling in well?”_ _

__“I’d hope so.”_ _

__“Yeah. Me too.”_ _

__“And you’re going over there tomorrow after Soobin’s play date?” He questioned._ _

__“Yes…” She replied. “Lucas.. is there something wrong?”_ _

__“Look— I’m just curious because.” He sighed. “Look you don’t even talk to me about.. pretty much anything anymore. You just talk to me about Soobin and that’s it. Look, I understand you’re ‘with’ Sooyoung, but we still have a relationship here.”_ _

__“A relationship?”_ _

__Lucas nearly scoffed at that question. He couldn’t deny that it hurt a little, feeling himself slowly being shut out by Jinsoul._ _

__“Jinsoul. We’ve had sex, we’ve been married for over a year, nearly 2. We have a _kid_ together.” He pointed out, the boy on the bed looking back at his dad. “You can’t just shut me out like I’m nothing. It’s not fair… we didn’t end on bad terms.” _ _

__“Lucas.” She replied, picking up Soobin and holding him in her arms. “It’s not like I do it on purpose Lucas.”_ _

__“Then fix it. Because one of my favorite things about us, is that we’ve always been solid. Don’t change that now.” He said, kissing Soobin on the cheek and then hers._ _

__She watched as he left the room, tidying up the shirt he wore and shutting the door behind him. She looked down at Soobin and sighed deeply._ _

* * *

__Minho sat alone that night. His fiancé had already gone to bed, she kissed him before knocking out for the night. They’d been awake all day talking to a real estate agent. They planned to move from their apartment now that Minho had the money for it. He was wide awake. He found it hard to sleep most of the time. Especially after what he’d done not too long ago. He rubbed his temples, sighing to himself as he sat alone at his dining room table._ _

__Despite what happened, he was relieved to have the money to finally move out of this shit hole he lived in. To his fiancé, he was getting help from Sooyoung. He hadn’t exactly said that, but he said he’d been saving and gotten some help to finally move out. She believed him. Because she always believed him, and he didn’t question that. He used to. But not anymore. Not with what he’d been involved in now. He had no right to ask questions._ _

__And to be fair, it felt like things were finally falling into place again. Rowoon was still out of the picture, he was making money, Sooyoung was back, and safe._ _

__Everything was okay._ _

___**//** _ _ _

__“We baked cookies!” Yerim shouted the moment Sooyoung walked in. Yeojin came running and hugged her tightly. “Dad’s at work!”_ _

__“What kind of cookies is it?” Sooyoung questioned, taking off her jacket and following the girls to the kitchen. She felt her stomach sink when her mother stood in the kitchen as well, cleaning dishes after she’d just finished cooking for dinner._ _

__“Oatmeal.” Her mother replied, turning to see her daughter looking back at her with fear on her face. “Sit.”_ _

* * *

__“So she’s concerned?” Heejin questioned. “So what? I mean, it’s not like you can do much with your ‘husband’ lying in a hospital bed.”_ _

__“Heejin.. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore… She loves Rowoon. There’s no getting around this all with her on my head every second.” She explained. “I don’t go and see Rowoon as much as she thinks and honestly, she’ll probably try to get in contact with his mom at this point.”_ _

__“Ouch…” Heejin replied. “Your entire life sucks..”_ _

__“Thanks.” Sooyoung replied and Heejin shook her head._ _

__“I mean, this part of your life at least. Nearly dead husband, mom breathing down your neck. How terrible.” She responded._ _

__“Just get me to the hospital already”_ _

___**//** _ _ _

__“Wife?” The woman behind the desk asked._ _

__“Yes. I am.” She responded and the woman typed up something else on the computer before turning back to Sooyoung with a distressed look on her face._ _

__“Um… sorry… Mrs.. Kim— you were taken off of the visitors list. I can’t let you see him.” She informed, and Sooyoung scoffed._ _

__“Taken off? By who?”_ _

__“By me.” She heard a woman say from behind her. Leaning against the wall with her $500,000 purse in her arms. “I’m surprised you even decided to show up.”_ _

__“What is your problem?” She questioned, as she followed the woman out of the hospital._ _

__“Mine? My problem is _you_.” She said bitterly. “You’re a shame to this family, an embarrassment to my son. Hell, an embarrassment to the whole damn country. Have you seen the news lately? I bet you haven’t.” _ _

__“What are you talking about?”_ _

__“That answers my question doesn’t it?” The woman questioned as she walked off to get into the back of the vehicle waiting for her. Suddenly Sooyoung grabbed her by the arm, holding her in place. The woman looked down at the hand on her in disgust._ _

__“What do you want from me? I come to see your son, to be a supportive wife.. and it’s _still_ not enough for you.” _ _

__The woman laughed in Sooyoung’s face. “A supportive wife? Then explain to me why an ex fling of his shows up to this hospital more than you have? How do I know? Not just the visitors list on my son's papers, but the media that’s all over this story.” She explained. “You’re so holed up in your selfish world that you don’t see what’s going on around you. I’ve told you before you are nothing. And you will never be anything. And I’ll make sure of that.”_ _

__“You can’t do anything to me.”_ _

__“You have no idea of what I’m capable of Mrs. Ha.” She smiled._ _

__“Is something wrong?” Heejin questioned, and the woman turned to see the smaller girl standing by Sooyoung’s side._ _

__But his mother ignored her presence. “The moment my son wakes up, a divorce will be in place. It’s not polite to go against his wishes while he can’t defend himself.”_ _

__“I’m sorry wait— why aren’t you inside right now? And who is the old bitter hag?” Heejin questioned._ _

__“Bitter hag? Just from the way you’re dressed right now I can tell you don’t have much guidance in your life.” She snarled, and Heejin moved to attack. She was held back quickly by Sooyoung’s arm. They made eye contact and the taller woman’s eyes said all that needed to be said._ _

__“You stay in your place Mrs. Ha, and I won’t have to go to extremes to keep you there.”_ _

__She got into her car, and it rolled off without wasting another second. Heejin eyed the car as it drove off, and Sooyoung slowly lowered her arm. “I’m sorry about that.” Sooyoung apologized and Heejin shook her head._ _

__“What was that all about?”_ _

__“Rowoon’s mother. She took me off the visitation list… and she’s uh, she’s going to make us divorce.”_ _

__“W-Well that’s great Sooyoung.” Heejin smiled, but Sooyoung looked grief stricken. “What? What’s the matter?”_ _

__“Heejin. They will ruin my _life_.” _ _

__“What? You’re getting divorced. This is a good thing. You’ll be free from him.”_ _

__“He knows Heejin.” She said._ _

__“But the woman?”_ _

__“She’ll know too… she _can’t_ know.”_ _

* * *

__“I’ll see you soon little guy.” Lucas smiled, giving Soobin tons of kisses as he handed the boy over to his mom. “Be good. I know you like the ladies. Just like your dad.” He smiled._ _

__He turned his attention back to Jinsoul. “So when will I be seeing you again?”_ _

__“Soon. I won’t keep him away from you for too long.” She replied and he chuckled._ _

__“Good to know.” He smiled. “Have fun you two. I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her cheek and let the woman put Soobin into the car._ _

___**//** _ _ _

__The moment Sooyoung saw Soobin in Jinsoul’s arms, she felt her heart stop. That sight alone brought something out in the woman. She smiled at Jinsoul, kissing her softly the second she was within reach. Her hand on Jinsoul’s hip as she pulled her in closer. She quickly turned her attention to the boy in her arms. “Wow, he is getting big.” Sooyoung agreed, remembering what Jinsoul said to her about a week ago._ _

__“He’s learning to crawl now.. he doesn’t get very far though without falling over. It’s so cute though!” She smiled, walking over to the living room and placing him onto the floor. Sooyoung sat onto the floor with him, watching as he rolled over onto his stomach. “I’ll go put our things into the room.” She smiled, leaving the two alone._ _

__Sooyoung turned back to the boy on the floor as he moved in place. She quickly picked up the coffee table, moving it away from the center of the floor so he had more room. And also so he wouldn’t get hurt. She studied him. She studied his movements, and the way his dimples showed whenever he poked his little tongue out was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. When Jinsoul returned to the living room she smiled so much seeing Sooyoung smiling at the boy._ _

__“He’a a cutie pie isn’t he?” Jinsoul questioned and Sooyoung didn’t even respond. She was too busy crawling beside him, doing whatever he did to get a smile out of him, even if it was just for a moment. She enjoyed seeing that tiny gummy smile of his, even if it lasted for 2 seconds and disappeared because he was too occupied with his own movements._ _

__She’d never seen Sooyoung smile so much, or laugh so much. She was having the time of her life watching Sooyoung enjoy herself with Soobin. He liked her a lot too. He usually would cry whenever he was around someone he wasn’t around often. But not Sooyoung. Never Sooyoung._ _

__“You two have fun. I’ll call in something for us to eat tonight.” Jinsoul laughed to herself, grabbing her phone and calling a restaurant close by._ _

__**_//_ ** _ _

__“I’ve never had soup from this place before.” Sooyoung said. “It’s really good though.”_ _

__“I’m glad you like it. Jungeun said she’s ordered from here a few times before.” Jinsoul replied as she spoon fed Soobin some baby food. “He likes the peas… it’s quite surprising.”_ _

__“Not all babies hate vegetables.” The woman laughed, watching how cute Soobin looked with the mess on his face._ _

__“You’re right. They don’t. Or… maybe Soobin is just strange.”_ _

__“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Sooyoung winked at her, and Jinsoul rolled her eyes playfully._ _

__**_//_ ** _ _

__“You look tired.” Jinsoul pointed out, watching as Sooyoung’s eyes slowly opened and closed. She let Soobin play with her hair as he lay between the two of them._ _

__“It’s… been a day.” She admitted. “But it’s better.. now that you two are here.”_ _

__Jinsoul smiled, looking down at Soobin as he made noises and looked at the both of them every now and then before he was distracted by his clothes or his hands. Sooyoung was intrigued by the sight. Soobin was pure innocence in a world full of hate and evil. He was tiny, and frail and vulnerable._ _

__“It’s like I’m looking at a tiny you.” Sooyoung laughed._ _

__“Well… technically.” And they both laughed at that, just staring into each other's eyes and getting lost in them. Jinsoul gave her a soft smile before her eyes left hers to look down at Soobin as he yanked at her shirt. His eyes were getting low as well, so she knew he was tired. She grabbed him and let him lay in her arms until he fell asleep._ _

__He rested on Jinsoul’s chest, tossing and turning until he eventually fell asleep to the soft comforting hand on his back from Sooyoung. She grabbed a few pillows and placed them at the edge of the bed and placed Soobin beside them. She gently pulled the blanket up onto his body, and kissed his cheek gently so she didn’t wake him._ _

__She felt her heart race when Sooyoung was pressed gently against her back, her arm thrown over not just her but tiny Soobin’s body too. She felt Sooyoung’s lips pressing softly against her neck. “Are you going to bed?” Jinsoul quietly asked, trying to mask the shakiness of her voice._ _

__“Soon… I just want to… bask in this.” She said, nestling her face into Jinsoul’s neck. The smell of her shampoo wrapping around her and the warmth of her body radiating off of her. The tiny content sighs that left Soobin every so often and the deep breaths that came from the now asleep woman in her arms. She smiled to herself, just thinking about how content she felt despite what happened not too long ago. She remembered how she felt before Jinsoul came over that evening, how anxious she felt every second of that day. How the thought of Rowoon alone left her feeling angry and nauseous._ _

__But in that moment, she felt like the world couldn’t do anything to hurt her. To bring her down. She wanted this, she wanted Jinsoul. She felt whole in that moment alone. Holding her and Soobin, sleeping peacefully without thinking about how she’d have to go home to that man. She was safe. And if not for long, it was the safest she’d felt in years._ _

__Right here._ _

__At this moment._ _

__

__**_//_ ** _ _

__Jinsoul slept better than she’d ever had that night. Her two sole reasons of happiness being directly in the same room as her. The same bed. Sharing the same home. She woke up without a single bad thought, a single bad feeling._ _

__She managed to get out of bed without waking either of the other two. She smiled brightly as she walked to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She began making breakfast, checking on the two who slept peacefully every now and then. She didn’t know how, but Soobin managed to roll all the way over to Sooyoung, sleeping peacefully by her side. Both of them sprawled out on the bed._ _

__She felt like she could cry at the sight of it. He was so tiny next to Sooyoung, his small mouth open as he slept peacefully by her side. She shook her head with a smile on her face and went back to fixing breakfast._ _

__Once she finished, she set up plates for herself and Sooyoung and fixed a plate of eggs for Soobin. She was just about to go and wake them both but instead she was met with Sooyoung walking towards her with a smile on her face, and Soobin in her arms. “Good morning you.” Sooyoung kissed her softly, her back against the counter as she shyly pushed her away when she felt the kiss getting too deep._ _

__“Be good in front of him.”_ _

__“I am being good.” Sooyoung smiled, watching as Jinsoul set their plates down. Soobin turned to Sooyoung and held her cheeks in his tiny hands. She puckered her lips at him and he leaned in head first to give her a kiss on the lips before Jinsoul took the boy from her arms. She sat down and put him in her lap, feeding him the eggs as she also ate from her own plate._ _

__“Did you sleep well?”_ _

__“.. That was honestly the best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time.” Jinsoul smiled. “I sleep the best when you’re holding me.”_ _

__“Shut up..” Sooyoung shyly smiled, turning back to her plate._ _

__Jinsoul fed him well and then herself. Sooyoung finished before she did and immediately drew her attention to the boy. “Eat. I’ll watch him.” Sooyoung assured, kissing her softly._ _

__The two played together on the floor, and Jinsoul felt her heart fluttering at the sound of Soobin’s laugh as Sooyoung pretended to fly him around in her arms. “Be careful. He gets dizzy easily.” Jinsoul warned, but still with the biggest smile on her face as she watched the two having fun._ _

__“You done little guy?” She heard Sooyoung say, before she heard Soobin laughing hysterically because he was being tickled. Jinsoul just shook her head and smiled, finishing her food and placing her plate into the sink._ _

__“How about we go for a swim?” She suggested, and Sooyoung agreed without even saying anything, swooping up Soobin and running with him to the room. She couldn’t help it. She loved hearing his tiny giggles and feeling his little body fight against his laugh attacks whenever she tickled him or did something funny. His big brown eyes and his contagious smile complimented by those dimples of his. Sooyoung changed into a black swimsuit, and Jinsoul put on a blue one. They left Soobin in one of his diapers._ _

__“How’s the water?”_ _

__Sooyoung shrugged before jumping in without another word. She rose back up to the surface, using her hands to slick her hair back. Jinsoul swallowed hard at the sight of Sooyoung doing that. She was so attractive. “Wow…” She said, without even realizing she said that aloud, and Sooyoung cleared the water from her eyes a bit._ _

__“The water is fine by the way.” She smiled, letting herself float backwards. “Come in. Both of you.”_ _

__Jinsoul slowly got in, the baby in her arms as she moved forward. The moment she let Soobin in the water, holding him carefully, he started splashing the water. Laughing the whole time as the water splashed not just his face but his mothers. “Soobinnnn.” She whined, seeing Sooyoung swim over to them with a smile on her face. He splashed her too, and she feigned offense._ _

__“Really Soobinniee?” She said cutely, splashing the water back at him gently. The other woman’s heart melted at the nickname and baby talk that Sooyoung had. Jinsoul just stood there, allowing herself to be splashed not just by Soobin but by Sooyoung herself._ _

__“Okay you two.” Jinsoul said, moving Soobin away from Sooyoung._ _

__“Babe fine I’ll stop.” Sooyoung said cutely, and Jinsoul laughed, although she felt her heart skip a beat at the pet name Sooyoung called her._ _

__“I’m just messing around. But I’m going to take him a few laps around. He likes the water.”_ _

__“I can tell.” Sooyoung laughed, standing in the center of the pool and watching as Jinsoul walked around it with Soobin beside her, holding him up as he aimlessly splashed the water. “Good swimmer you got over there.” Sooyoung teased, and the moment she said that Jinsoul splashed her._ _

__“Really?” Sooyoung said, watching as Jinsoul got out of the water._ _

__“Yes really.” She winked, grabbing a towel for Soobin and wrapping his body with it. “Get out of the water little mermaid, let’s go watch some movies.”_ _

__And Sooyoung smiled at the idea of that._ _

___**//** _ _ _

__They watched The Jungle Book together and Soobin watched quietly, drinking apple juice from his sippy cup. He leaned over onto Sooyoung, his head in her lap as he drank. He drank too fast, however, causing him to cough a little and Sooyoung immediately went to his aid. Patting his back and calming him down. “You gotta drink a bit slower little guy.” Sooyoung gently scolded, sitting him on her lap so he wasn’t laying on his back and drinking._ _

__“Is he okay?”_ _

__“Of course he is.” Sooyoung reassured her, kissing the crown of her head and letting her rest her head onto Sooyoung’s shoulder._ _

__They watched about 4 different movies, and around dinner time they sat together on the floor, eating pizza while Soobin had chicken noodle soup for dinner. He enjoyed it very much too. Making noises anytime his mom took far too long to give him some more. By the time he finished, he’d made a mess._ _

__While Jinsoul changed into her night clothes, Sooyoung gave Soobin a bath. Gently rinsing the shampoo from his hair and watching as his brown eyes disappeared behind his long lashes as the water washed over his face. She gently washed his body, feeling content as she watched him splash the water and play with his bath toys. He made all types of cute sounds that had her heart full of love and admiration. Her eyes widened whenever he turned to her with a smile. Jinsoul walked towards the bathroom, leaning against the frame as she watched Sooyoung gently rinsing the soap from Soobin’s body. Once she finished, she wrapped him in a towel carefully and moved to take him to the room._ _

__“How long have you been there?”_ _

__“I just got here.” She said, following behind them. Sooyoung dried his body and dressed him while Jinsoul made him a warm bottle. He was out before they knew it, and Sooyoung didn’t fail to fall asleep not long after._ _

__She felt full watching them sleep peacefully. Her heart was overwhelmed with the amount of love she felt from just the sight of them. It was like she had her own little family in that moment and for once she felt overwhelmed and stuck._ _

__Her _own_.. little family._ _

* * *

__Sooyoung woke up first that morning and she lay there. Her mind went a thousand miles per hour as she looked up at the ceiling. She thought about the past few days she spent with Soobin and Jinsoul and it made her think, a little too hard to be fair. But it was a thought that she knew was far fetched._ _

__She was living in some fantasy and soon enough she’d have to be humbled. But she couldn’t fight that nagging feeling in her body that kept telling her that it was what she wanted. What she truly wanted, was to be with Jinsoul. Everyday, just like this._ _

__She found herself in the kitchen all alone, pouring herself a glass of milk as she sat down at the island. Thinking about what she would even say to bring up such an idea. It was crazy, and it was impulsive. But she knew what she wanted in that moment. For the first time in forever, she felt _whole_ again. Being in this house with Soobin and Jinsoul. She felt _whole_. She wanted this, and she knew deep down, Jinsoul wanted it too._ _

__She finished her glass about 10 minutes ago but she hadn’t moved from her spot. She was texting Joohyun. The older woman expressed how much she and Nayeon missed Sooyoung. She told her she had to see her again soon, and informed her that she’d be in Korea the following month for a clothing campaign. So she wanted to meet up with Sooyoung again. As she was in the middle of responding, Jinsoul had awakened, walking out to the kitchen sleepily.  
Her eyes still a little closed as she went to grab a glass of water._ _

__“No breakfast today huh?”_ _

__“Hmm no.. was just sitting here.”_ _

__Jinsoul took a sip of her water before turning back to Sooyoung. They smiled at each other but Jinsoul could see something in the woman’s eyes. “Is something wrong?”_ _

__“N-No.. no it’s just… I’ve been thinking..”_ _

__“Thinking?”_ _

__“Yeah..”_ _

__“About what?” She questioned, and Sooyoung immediately stood up._ _

__“Look— I know it sounds crazy but… I think you should move in with me for a bit. You and Soobin.” Sooyoung suggested and Jinsoul’s eyes widened._ _

__“Sooyoung that’s… that’s a big step..”_ _

__“I know but— having you both here… it’s the happiest I’ve ever felt in a really long time.”_ _

__“S-Sooyoung I would love to… but I can’t. Lucas… and the house and my parents… if they found out. If the media found out…”_ _

__“They won’t.”_ _

__“How are you so sure?”_ _

__“Who would snitch on us?” She questioned, her hands on Jinsoul’s hips as she spoke, trying to persuade her into saying yes. “Rowoon is unconscious.. and Lucas knows. Our friends _know_... everything would be okay.” _ _

__“Look…. I love you Sooyoung. I do. And I’d love to stay here but Lucas is still a part of me.. I have to talk to him about this too… things aren’t just about me anymore. Soobin is in the mix now too.”_ _

__“I said he could stay too.”_ _

__“That isn’t the point.” Jinsoul responded quickly. “I know you want to be with me. I want to be with you too.. but solidifying your loyalty to me by asking me to move in with you.. and bringing my son. You know that won’t be easy.”_ _

__Sooyoung sighed deeply, removing herself from Jinsoul’s body. Leaving her pressed against the counter as she tried to bring herself down to earth. Her brain was scrambled with Sooyoung that close, being that tempting towards her. Sooyoung wasn’t kidding about not being afraid anymore…._ _

__When Sooyoung didn’t reply, Jinsoul spoke instead. “I-I’ll talk to Lucas about it okay?”_ _

__“It’s fine. You don’t have to. That was a stupid idea.. _god_ what was I thinking proprosing such a stupid idea like that…”_ _

__“It wasn’t stupid Sooyoung..”_ _

__“It’s just… waking up to not just you but him too… it just, I don’t know..” She sighed, walking away from the shorter woman. “It just feels like I have my own little family going on here you know? Like I have a wife and a kid..”_ _

__Jinsoul nearly choked hearing that sentence. “A-A wife?” She questioned, unsure if she heard that well._ _

__“Yes Jinsoul… the past few days. It felt like I had a wife… a beautiful wife and a beautiful kid.. I guess it was just, really nice to experience. But I’m being crazy. Forget I even brought that up.”_ _

__Jinsoul walked over to her, grabbing her hand and turning her back to her. She kissed, holding her head in place. “I’ll talk to him.” She smiled. “Trust me… I know exactly how you feel. But we.. we can’t rush these kinds of things. I-I have a kid now… I have to be careful with what I subject him to. Do you understand?”_ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“Good.” Jinsoul smiled, grabbing Sooyoung’s hand. “Now come back to bed. I miss you.”_ _

* * *

__Sooyoung sat outside in the back near the pool's edge as the moon reflected off of the clear still water. She just watched the moon, and let her eyes find each start that made its home around it. She suddenly heard the sliding door open behind her, and she was met with Jinsoul smiling at her. She smiled back softly, turning back to look at the moon._ _

__“What are you doing alone out here?” She questioned._ _

__“Just.. wanted some fresh air.” She replied calmly, turning slowly to the woman who decided to sit beside her and watch too._ _

__“Soobin is asleep… fed and bathed. He’s going to be out for the night.” She explained._ _

__Sooyoung didn’t respond, however, her eyes still trained on the stars that lit up the night sky. She smiled to herself, thinking about the woman sitting quietly beside her. She turned to Jinsoul, taking in her beautiful side profile as she too stared up at the night sky. But she could feel Sooyoung’s eyes on her, so she slowly turned back to her, their eyes meeting and a shy smile appearing on her face. “What?” She asked, and Sooyoung didn’t reply, she just stared._ _

__She stared, because she thought about how each time she looked up at those twinkling stars, she wished upon each of them that she’d always get to have the stars that she saw in Jinsoul’s eyes whenever they gazed at each other. Whenever they made love, and whenever they spoke about just about anything. She thought about how Jinsoul looks at her like she’s the moon herself, no, the entire galaxy. She thought about the endless love she had for her the same way the night sky was endless._ _

__“Is everything okay?” Jinsoul suddenly asked when Sooyoung hadn’t spoken a word for the past 5 minutes._ _

__Sooyoung just smiled at her, turning her body completely around so she was facing Jinsoul entirely now. She put her hands out for Jinsoul to hold, waiting patiently for the woman to face her too. She felt Jinsoul’s soft hands in hers and she immediately intertwined their fingers._ _

__And just from that alone, Sooyoung’s heart raced, and every second passing it became more clear to her that Jinsoul was the person for her. It’s been a little over 2 years now since they met, and she still felt that nervousness in her whenever their eyes met. Whenever their skin touched and whenever she moved to say something to the elegant woman across from her. She had the exciting anxiety of a first love whenever she waited for Jinsoul to arrive at her place, or for her to move in and kiss her already after a long staring contest. She still felt that same warmth overwhelm her body whenever their skin slightly touched, even from the simplest things like washing the dishes together, bathing Soobin together._ _

__Or the less… simple things. Like when their clothes were tossed somewhere in the room and they were in bed enjoying the taste of each other's lips and the sound of each other’s name leaving their mouths. Or the way they’d lay awake at night just talking about anything and everything. Sooyoung spoke to Jinsoul a lot about her experience in America, and she held her the entire time that she did. Kissing her forehead whenever she spoke about a particularly rough time._ _

__Sooyoung was made for Jinsoul, and Jinsoul was made for her. Sooyoung was convinced that they were thrown out a place of solitude, heaven even, and thrown into this overwhelming world of pain and suffering, just so they could find and heal one another. Find each other and show each other what it’s like to be loved in a world full of pain and madness. Because the chaos in Sooyoung’s heart, loved the chaos in Jinsoul’s. And Jinsoul loved every inch of that chaotic mind and soul that belonged to the woman of her dreams._ _

__“Yeah I just… I’ve been thinking a lot today..” She finally said, her head hanging low as she avoided eye contact with Jinsoul. It wasn’t long before she felt a finger gently placed under her chin, lifting her up so she was facing Jinsoul again. And just the sight of her made Sooyoung’s mind go blank once again. Her beauty was captivating, and quite unreal. It seemed a bit unrealistic to have someone so beautiful in front of her, willing to share every inch of her mind, body and soul with her._ _

__“Talk to me..” Jinsoul encouraged, playing with Sooyoung’s hair gently. Sooyoung smiled, sighing contently. Her mind started racing as she just looked at the woman in front of her._ _

__She thought back to the past few days they spent together. How it felt to enjoy being in the same home as someone you truly, actually love. How lovely it was to wake up to Jinsoul, and fall asleep to her. To walk around her home and know that Jinsoul was right there or just in the other room._ _

__Or how she was able to see Jinsoul after she showered. Her hair wet and her cute pajamas or just her habit of throwing on a shirt of Sooyoung’s. Or how she watched her love for Soobin from afar. The way her eyes lit up whenever she was with him, and how she gave him loving kisses and unfaltering attention. It was unhealthy how much she thought about her. She was sure if she received a flower for each time her mind had Jinsoul on it, she’d be walking through a field of them._ _

__She was all she thought about, and was all she could think about. It was the only thing that kept her afloat._ _

__“I ran into Rowoon’s mom..” She explained._ _

__“Oh no…” Jinsoul immediately stopped what she was doing and listened to Sooyoung’s words carefully._ _

__“She’s going to make Rowoon file for divorce once he wakes up… whenever the hell that will be.. and she cut me off of his visitation list.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Yeah.. it was a strange day.. I mean— I should be happy about this but for some reason it’s just making me even more worried.. like something isn’t right.”_ _

__Jinsoul caressed her cheek and smiled reassuringly at her. “I’m sure it’ll be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you okay?”_ _

__Sooyoung just smiled in response. “I love you Jinsoul.”_ _

__“I love you too Sooyoung.” She smiled, kissing her softly. She slowly backed away but she was surprised when she felt Sooyoung’s hand on the back of her neck, gently pulling her back in for another kiss. Jinsoul giggled when she felt Sooyoung smiling against her lips, pulling her on top of her under the moonlit backyard._ _

__Her body grew hot when she felt Sooyoung’s hands gently roaming her body, keeping her close and finding her lips whenever they seperated for just a second. Jinsoul’s heart flipped when she felt Sooyoung’s tongue strategically enter her mouth, wanting just a little more of her as her hands went under her shirt and her fingernails scratched lightly down her back. “Stop— don’t be tempting.” Jinsoul scolded, and Sooyoung laughed, peppering her face with kisses and saying I love you after each one._ _

__“Stop it silly.” Jinsoul whined playfully, kissing her back until they both got a little tired. She sat up, holding Sooyoung’s hands as she lay beneath her._ _

__It was something about the confidence and fearlessness Sooyoung possessed when it came to Jinsoul. How she felt no fear despite how scary things were getting around her. It seemed like with Jinsoul, nothing could hurt her, nothing scared her anymore._ _

__She didn’t have anything to lose because she finally found herself. Life wasn’t easy, but it felt easier with Jinsoul there, and when she left, things would get hard again. But for now, she basked in it. This sweet peaceful bliss._ _

__“You’re my person Ha Sooyoung.”_ _

__And Sooyoung didn’t even know how to respond to that, she just smiled, slowly lifting herself up and Jinsoul as well. The girl screamed cutely as she wrapped her legs around Sooyoung, allowing her to carry her inside. She shut the sliding door behind them and walked over to the sofa, gently placing Jinsoul down onto it and hovering over her. “I’m your person?”_ _

__“You always have been.” Jinsoul replied, and Sooyoung’s smile was wider than she’d ever seen it. She kissed the woman tenderly, melting from the way Jinsoul placed her hands on her and kissed her back._ _

__“You’re my person too.” She said, and within minutes they were undressing, their lips connecting again whenever they could. And before they knew it they were completely bare, and they were on the floor wrapped in each other’s arms. “And I’m going to show you.”_ _

__“Show me?” The woman beneath her questioned._ _

__“I’m going to show the world that you belong to _me_.” _ _

__And Jinsoul gasped the moment she felt Sooyoung’s teeth sinking into the side of her neck, her lips quickly relieving the sharp pain and sucking harshly at the skin as she used her fingers to distract Jinsoul from it._ _

__The woman wasn’t even sure what to react to, her mind went blank as she experienced a world of pleasure. Her nails dragged down Sooyoung’s poor back as she moaned into her lips whenever she got the chance. It took everything in her to stay as quiet as possible but it was almost impossible when it came to Sooyoung._ _

__Those dark eyes that watched her every move and soaked in every sound and face that Jinsoul made. The way she kissed her softly whenever she was coming down from her high only to go again and again until Jinsoul begged her to stop because the pleasure was too much. She didn’t want Sooyoung to stop touching her, no, never. But she was sure she’d die had she not, and she wasn’t ready to die yet. Not if Sooyoung was still here on earth, willing to love her, to care for her, to be with her and show her intimacy that she’d never felt before._ _

__She moved to return the favor, but Sooyoung stopped her. Smirking and kissing her lips gently before using her hand to gently push Jinsoul back down. “Who said I was finished?” Sooyoung questioned seductively and Jinsoul’s jaw dropped when she saw the girl moving further down her body until she reached exactly where she wanted to be._ _

__“Fuck–“ Was the only word that left Jinsoul’s mouth when she felt Sooyoung working her tongue where she wanted her. It made her dizzy, her hands gripped her hair tightly, holding her in place as she enjoyed every last second of it. The sweat on her body becoming more evident the closer she got, and the pleasure clearly overtaking her common sense as she let out any sound that threatened to leave her lips._ _

__And the closer she got, the tighter she gripped Sooyoung’s hair and the louder those string of curses were. “S-Sooyoung please, please– don’t… stop.” She begged, and how could Sooyoung ignore such a pleading request. So she didn’t stop, not until Jinsoul was a shaking mess and not until she pulled her up to kiss her deeply._ _

__And the night didn’t end there. They lay beside each other quietly before they both decided to get up, Sooyoung gave Jinsoul a little extra time while she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She stepped in, smiling to herself and rinsing off the sweat that plagued her body. Jinsoul joined shortly after, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung from behind and kissing her shoulders softly. “Are you feeling okay?”_ _

__“Sleepy.” Jinsoul cutely replied and Sooyoung laughed. She helped the girl get cleaned up, wiping her down with soap as she did the same for Sooyoung and they both stood under the water to get rinsed off._ _

__“He looks peaceful.” Sooyoung said as she dried her hair._ _

__“It’s because he knows you’re going to be sleeping with him again tonight.” Jinsoul cutely said and Sooyoung smiled, getting into bed and laying beside the boy. Jinsoul got into bed too, they held hands and lied them on Soobin’s back as he slept peacefully, and they too, fell asleep._ _

___**//** _ _ _

__“Jesus…” Jinsoul said when she pulled her shirt collar down. Her chest was littered with marks and they were even worse around her neck area. “How am I going to cover this up….”_ _

__Sooyoung opened her eyes to Soobin using her face to stand up on the bed properly. “Huh…” She said disorientedly, placing her free hand gently on his back so he didn’t fall when she moved her face._ _

__“I was waiting for you to wake up. He was pulling your hair the entire time.” Jinsoul laughed when she walked back into the room and Sooyoung sat up properly, yawning as she watched Jinsoul pack their things._ _

__“Can’t you just stay another week..?” Sooyoung questioned, and Jinsoul gave her a sympathetic look._ _

__“If I could I would, my love.”_ _

__“Ughhhh.” Sooyoung groaned, laying on her stomach now. It didn’t take long for Soobin to crawl up to her again, throwing himself against her back and playing with her hair._ _

__“He likes you a lot huh?”_ _

__“I’d hope so. I’ve been changing his stinky diapers for 4 days now.” She said, quickly turning to him and tickling him so she could hear that laugh of his again. The other woman shook her head with a smile. She would miss this although she was sure it’d happen again, she just didn’t know when it would._ _

__Sooyoung went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and by the time she returned, Jinsoul was already packed up and in the living room. “You seem in a rush..” Sooyoung pointed out and Jinsoul sighed._ _

__“Well, Lucas usually takes him to his parents place on Friday’s so I have to get him back home..”_ _

__“Ah.. I understand.” She responded nonchalantly._ _

__“Hey.. don’t be like that, you know I’d stay if I could.”_ _

__“I do know.” Sooyoung said, accepting the kiss that Jinsoul gave her. “Doesn’t stop me from being dramatic about you leaving me.”_ _

__Jinsoul pushed her away gently, picking up Soobin. Sooyoung immediately grabbed their things so Jinsoul didn’t have to carry them out to the car. She waited for her to put Soobin into his carseat and then followed her to the drivers side, pushing her up against the car gently. “You’ll come back soon right?” She questioned, kissing her cheek and forehead._ _

__“How could I not?” She asked her, looking into the brown eyes that she fell into more and more each time. She pulled her in for another kiss before opening the car door. “I’ll let you know when I’m home.”_ _

__“Promise?”_ _

__“Promise.”_ _

__She watched as Jinsoul made her way down to the front gates where the guards stood, she blew her a kiss and waved until she was completely out of sight. She turned back around, looking at the empty vessel of a home and sighed._ _

* * *

__“Jesus this house is amazing.” Heejin said, walking in with the twins and Hyunjin behind her. “Maybe you made the right decision moving out of our place huh?”_ _

__“Hey.. our house is nice too.” Hyunjin defended and Heejin awkwardly smiled._ _

__“It’s true! But this one… wow. She had electric gates at the front babe. Didn’t you see?!”_ _

__Hyunjin sighed and hugged Sooyoung briefly. “Don’t mind her. She’s just excited. The house is really nice though Sooyoung.”_ _

__“Thanks.. there’s uh, there’s a pool too!”_ _

__“Mommy I have to use the bathroom!!” She heard one of the twins say, and Sooyoung instantly directed them to it._ _

__“It’s down the hall, first door on the left!” She yelled, hearing his feet running quickly down the hall. “I hope my house is still intact by the time you all leave.”_ _

__“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure they don’t go apeshit in here.” Hyunjin winked, following Sooyoung around for the small house tour._ _

* * *

__Jinsoul sat alone in the living room as she waited for Lucas to return back home with Soobin. It’d been 2 weeks now since she last stayed over Sooyoung’s and she planned to go and see her again in a few days, without Soobin this time. She remembered the look on Lucas’ face when he saw those marks that Jinsoul tried to desperately hide. It was fast. It appeared just as quickly as it disappeared. But she could tell it stung._ _

__She aimlessly searched through the channels to find something to watch, drinking a canned soda and eating popcorn that she quickly got tired of. She heard the front door open and immediately turned in the direction of the door and stood up. “How was it?” She asked, walking over to him._ _

__“Same old same old.” He replied, giving her a sleeping Soobin and placing his diaper bag down. “They’ve asked about you a lot though. Wanted to know when the next time you’d visit.” He pointed out, removing his jacket and walking to the kitchen. She kissed the top of the boy's head and took him upstairs to his room._ _

__When she came back downstairs, Lucas was cracking open a beer. She just watched him until he turned around and looked at her. “Watching me now? I know I’m good looking but—“ He smiled._ _

__“We need to talk.” She simply said with her arms crossed and his smile immediately faltered as he took a sip of his beer. He sighed and sat down, placing his head on the palm of his hand and waving at her to continue. “It’s about… it’s about my future here… in this house… with you and…” She couldn’t even continue._ _

__“What do you think about me moving out?” She questioned._ _

__His eyes fell for a second when she said that, and he sighed, trying his best to hold himself together. “I um, I mean… if that’s what makes you happy.” He encouraged._ _

__“And bringing Soobin with me.” She added and he nearly laughed in her face._ _

__“Are you serious right now?” His tone changed as he eyed her down. “You want to move out _and_ take Soobin with you?” _ _

__“I just.. I’d rather have a life elsewhere you know? We’re not really a thing anymore and I just—“_ _

__“No. We _are_ a thing. We’re a team. And we agreed to do this all together. Why the sudden change of heart?” He questioned and when she didn’t reply he chuckled. “Wow..”_ _

__He instantly caught onto what was happening here now, and for some reason that drove the knife even deeper into his heart._ _

__“Lucas… I know we are. And we still are—”_ _

__“She put you up to this? What you got a taste of domestic life and now not only does she steal my wife, but my son too?” He laughed, after counting those things on his fingers. “What’s next? She’ll steal my sperm so she can make another kid with you? Will that make her satisfied? Haven’t you both taken enough from me?”_ _

__“She has nothing to do with this.” She defended._ _

__“I find that really fucking hard to believe.” His voice had grown angrier the more this went on._ _

__“Lucas stop—“_ _

__“No!” He shouted, and immediately lowered his tone when he realized he was yelling at her, he sighed deeply. His eyes began to water and he quickly turned away from her. “I’m sorry but I can’t allow you to do that. I’ve given you enough freedom. But you doing that is putting this relationship you have with Sooyoung in more jeopardy.”_ _

__“No one has to know.”_ _

__“Except _everyone will_ know. Are you forgetting your status? Has your brain taken you to la la land again? Wake up Jinsoul! You’re the Princess of Korea. There are no happy endings for you if you pull this shit. Don’t you realize that?” He scoffed. “I’m not allowing you to take my son away from me too. I’ve lost enough as it is. You can leave. But he’s not going with you. I’m sorry Jinsoul. But there’s a line, and you’re crossing it.” _ _

__Lucas couldn’t believe how selfish she was being. The thought of her leaving alone hurt him but to take the only thing left he had of what they accomplished together, that was a stab to the heart. It was almost like she forgot Soobin was his kid too, and she couldn’t just take that away from him. He wouldn’t allow it. No matter how much he loved Jinsoul, he wouldn’t let her just walk all over him for her own happiness and disregard his._ _

__“I’m sorry it was just a thought. I won’t bring it up again I just—“ She began, her voice getting shakier. “Being at that house with Sooyoung… and Soobin being there. I just felt so much love and happiness Lucas.. I felt like I had a true family, a real true family for once in my fucking life. So I’m sorry for overstepping.”_ _

__“I get it Jinsoul. I do. But I’ve allowed you to hurt me once, I can’t let you hurt me again. I just can’t.. I’m sorry. What you’re trying to do is selfish, and if you try to take my son away from me I will fight you on that.”_ _

__“F-fight me?” She questioned, backing away from him as he stood up. His height became increasingly more intimidating because of his current mood. He was hurt and angered._ _

__The longer this conversation went on the more she lost hope. She felt stupid for even bringing it up to him. She should have waited, this was selfish, and she had gotten caught up from the way Sooyoung made her feel and the things she made her feel were possible. Except they weren’t possible. She had to be brought back down to reality. To the real world. Even if it had to be thrown in her face harshly, she needed to stop living in a fantasy. She was sure Lucas didn’t mean it so harshly, but it still hurt, and it still snatched away the hope she had for exactly 8 minutes now._ _

__Lucas stopped in his tracks as he grabbed his beer. “Jinsoul.. if you leave with my son, I _will_ take you to court. He’s not just your son, and he’s not a prop. I’m his father, and I love him more than anything. So if I have to go to extremes, then so be it.” _ _

__“You would out me? Seriously?”_ _

__“I didn’t say that. I would never do that. But if it happens in the process, then I can’t protect you. Not anymore. I am _done_ protecting you. And I’m done with this conversation.” He took a drink from his beer bottle and walked out of the kitchen leaving her stunned in silence. _ _

__“Lucas—“ She called out, but he didn’t respond._ _

* * *

__It's been days since that fight between Lucas and Jinsoul. He’d been avoiding her and ignoring her existence since then. He only talked to her when it was about Soobin, and any other time he wasn’t home at all. Leaving her to be with the boy on her own. She was quite sure that she left the man heartbroken again and the guilt was eating her alive but she wasn’t sure how to even fix it. Or where to begin. That wasn’t just something she could take back and shake off and they move on from it._ _

__She hurt him more than she’d ever done and it made her feel horrible. How could she even propose something like that to begin with? As if it wasn’t a problem? Lucas was right. Soobin wasn’t just hers. And he wasn’t a prop. He needed to grow up with his mother and father. It was only right._ _

__Lucas wasn’t a bad guy. He loved her and he loved Soobin more than anything. She took advantage of his kindness and for that, she deserved the shut out that she was receiving by him._ _

__“Hellooooo.” Jungeun waved her hand in front of the woman to get her attention. “Did you hear a word that I said?” She questioned as Jinsoul blinked a few times._ _

__“Sorry, I zoned out a bit there.” She admitted and Jungeun gave her a look because that was obvious. “Lucas and I— we got into a fight..”_ _

__“Well that’s new.” She responded._ _

__“It’s my fault. It was stupid.. I told him I was thinking about moving out.. with Sooyoung obviously.”_ _

__“That’s not a big deal.”_ _

__“And bringing Soobin with me…”_ _

__“....That’s a yikes.” She said truthfully. “And a bit selfish.”_ _

__“I know. I know. It’s stupid of me… I was just, in complete bliss I wasn’t thinking properly. I really hurt him..”_ _

__“In complete bliss huh? Is she that good?” Jungeun teased and Jinsoul’s cheeks went red._ _

__“Shut up. I’m serious.” She hid her face. “It was just. It was so good, being with her, laying with her, seeing her and Soobin together… it was a dream come true. I wasn’t thinking. And then she had the same idea in mind and it just.. it made it even worse.”_ _

__“I think you should slow down a little. You two are just now getting back into things. Her husband is still dying somewhere and you are _still_ the Princess. You can’t be careless. Everything will happen in due time.” She explained. “I know you love her and you want to be with her already. But I think it’s best you slow down.” _ _

__Jinsoul smiled softly, placing her hand on Jungeun’s as it rested on her knee. “You’re right.. It was stupid of me.”_ _

__“It was. But at least you admitted it.” Jungeun said, pinching Soobin’s cute cheeks as he looked at her with a small smile. “Don’t worry. Men are easy. He’ll come around after his tantrum.”_ _

__“I hope so…” She said, watching the two of them playing together as she sat in deep thought. Her mind was just full of Sooyoung. That smile, those eyes, that fucking voice and those hands that always found their way to her hips, holding her in place while she kissed her softly. Holding her like she belonged to her and her only. Staring into her eyes as if she could just fall into them if she stared harder. Except she was gentle. She was always gentle unless… Jinsoul asked her not to be. But she was the most caring person she’d ever met. She had the sweetest, softest lips she’d ever touched and tasted. She was beautiful and everything that Jinsoul wanted._ _

__She couldn’t imagine a life without her. And although forever was a long time, she wouldn’t mind spending it with Sooyoung. She wouldn’t mind that at all._ _

__She fell victim to Sooyoung’s charm. Her eyes and her words. God those words that left her lips and made Jinsoul feel like the most beautiful, important person in the world._ _

__Sooyoung wrote poems with not just her words but her lips. Her kisses. God her kisses. The electricity that flowed through her body was surreal. She could kiss her for days, and she’d rather suffocate than pull away for just one moment. She was addicted to those lips, those kisses. She was addicted to Sooyoung. And she needed her fix. She always needed her fix when she wasn’t with the woman. She missed her when she was gone and she missed her when she wasn’t in bed with her, staring at each other until they fell asleep in each other’s arms._ _

__Sooyoung was hers and she wanted to scream it from the rooftops. She wanted to hold her warm hands in public, kiss her so everyone knew she was taken. She was hers, and only hers. She wanted Sooyoung to feel safe, accepted, loved for who she is. But it wasn’t that easy. It was never easy. _Nothing_ was ever easy. _ _

__She could go on and on about the things she loved about Sooyoung. The thoughts she had. The way her body reacted to just the thought of her lips on her, marking her as her own and kissing her deeply. Telling her how much she loved her with just the look in her eyes. She was in love with her. She loved her. She needed her. All of the time._ _

__And don’t even get her started on how precious it was seeing her with Soobin. How she treated him like it was her own kid. How she looked into his eyes and smiled because they reminded her so much of Jinsoul’s. That gummy smile he had that showed his one tooth coming whenever he sat in Sooyoung’s lap and she smiled and talked cutely to him. The way her heart did backflips when she’d turn around and see him in her arms, and she’d walk over to Jinsoul with the biggest smile and kiss her._ _

__Or how they’d shower together and just appreciate each other’s presence. Letting the water run over their face and body as they just kissed underneath the hot streams of water._ _

__How’d they chase each other around the house, laughing and falling to the floor where they kissed each other mindlessly like teenagers in love. With Sooyoung, it was simple. It wasn’t always easy, but it was simple. Because their love spoke volumes without them even having to say those three words. But they said it anyway, because it felt good to hear it. It kept them grounded in this frenzy of madness and fear. Their lives would never be easy, but Jinsoul was willing to try._ _

__She was willing to try _anything_ when it came to Sooyoung. _ _

__She instantly sat up, and Jungeun looked at her like she was crazy because of her sudden movement._ _

__“I’m going to marry her.” Jinsoul said aloud, and Jungeun nearly jumped out of her seat._ _

__“ _What_?”_ _

* * *

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Did I do good? I bet I did. And I bet you are anxious now. But thats good! Im looking forward to writing more for you all, and I hope you’re still looking forward to my works. Thank you for waiting for me and complimenting my writing! I’ll give out better chapters from here on out as Im trying to get back in my groove. 
> 
> Take care. Stay hydrated. Get good sleep. Until next time ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave comments with your thoughts. Its much appreciated and I appreciate the support from you all.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Please don’t expect continuous updates as this isnt the only fic I am working on. If you seem to all love it, and want more. I will be sure to work on it. So please show support ❤️
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you would like to follow me on twitter, please keep in mind that I only tweet about my fics. If you’d like to ask me and talk about them, don’t be shy! 
> 
> Twitter : @eu4ouria


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